


Remarkable

by tsukikomew



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Arrow Retelling, Eventual Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, F/M, Romance, Season One Retelling, Team Arrow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-07-10 23:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 102,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukikomew/pseuds/tsukikomew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Oliver met Felicity during the pilot instead of episode 3? Oliver Queen is back and determined to save his city. While the Hood sets off to take down evil and crime, Oliver Queen finds himself drawn to her. As the Hood makes a name for himself, Oliver has to decide what he's willing to sacrifice to save his city. A complete retelling of Season 1, 1 chapter per episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodnight (1.01)

**Author's Note:**

> Years ago I read a fanfiction for The Vampire Diaries where the author did a retelling of Season One which highlighted Delena instead of Stelena. Every big event was rewritten. This is my version of Arrow.
> 
> In general, things are going to happen as they happened in the show for the most part (big events). For example Felicity will find out Oliver's secret in chapter 14. Diggle will find out at the end of chapter three. The main events will be used, substituting characters but now Oliver will be spending time with Felicity as both Oliver and the Hood in the early chapters. Instead of the Tommy, Laurel, Oliver triangle, they will be two distinct pairings. Some scenes require you to know what happens in the show (i.e. fight scenes).
> 
> General warning: I'm not required to kill anyone that has died on the show or allow those who survived to do so. This series (3 stories covering 3 seasons) will have an HEA (DEFINITIVE) but there will be some angst like in the show. Each story will have 23 chapters (Remarkable, Unthinkable, Inevitable).
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

((ARROW))((ARROW))((ARROW))((ARROW))((ARROW))((ARROW))((ARROW))

_The name of the island they found me on is Lian Yu. It's mandarin for "purgatory". I've been stranded here for five years. I've dreamt of my rescue every cold black night since then. For five years I have had only one thought, one goal...survive._

 

The hospital was cold and unfeeling. The white walls and tiled floor seemed alien to him. He looked out on the city and considered what he knew. His city was dying and it needed to be fixed. He had made promises. He knew the next few moments would set him on his path. Could he be convincing enough? Would they believe he was unchanged enough?

The clothing felt restrictive and he rubbed awkwardly at the t-shirt. He was used to movement and freedom and now he felt boxed in. The doctors had surrounded him, poking and prodding as they looked for injuries. He'd heard the gasps and momentary lapses of decorum as his scars and healed broken bones were discovered. He let them because he had to. They had no idea how much he disliked being touched now.

"Oliver." He turned and looked at his mother, willing himself to stay in character. She couldn't know this was not the first time he'd seen her in five years. She had to believe him.

"Mom," he sighed. She rushed to him and looked at him, touching his arms and cupping his face. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him.

"Oh...my beautiful boy," she cried. He allowed her to wrap him up in a hug and held her, watching as the doctors moved away from the door. He could hear the news choppers overhead and felt the spotlights dancing along the windows behind him. It was starting.

* * *

 

Oliver got his first glimpse of his childhood home in a long time. It looked just as he left it and he wondered about the changes inside. His mother chattered on about Thea's school and her own friends while trying to keep topics light and easy. He wasn't listening. He already felt disconnected and nothing she could say would change that.

The car stopped and he nearly bolted out of the car. The air was clean and scented with the flowers bordering the walkway. He breathed it in and walked back to stop the driver from touching his wooden crate. He tugged it up and turned to listen to his mother's continued chattering.

"Your room is exactly as you left it. I never had the heart to change a thing," she continued. "We can certainly change things if you would rather…"

"Oliver! It's damn good to see you," a voice exclaimed. Oliver turned and looked at the offered hand. "It's Walter...Walter Steele."

"Oh Oliver, you remember Walter. He worked with your father," Moira explained. Oliver ignored the opening and walked over to Raisa. The older woman reached up to touch his face and smiled.

"It's good you are home Mr. Oliver," she said softly. "Mr. Merlyn phoned. He wants to join you for dinner." Oliver smiled at her again but ignored Moira's questions.

He turned the corner and looked up the staircase, smiling broadly when Thea came into view. She paused at the top of the steps and smiled back.

"I knew it. I knew you were alive. I missed you," she cried. She rushed down the steps enveloping him a large hug. He felt the slight shaking in her small, yet grown-up frame. She was so big now and he felt so lost.

"You were with me the whole time," he murmured. For a moment the chattering fell away, the house, the pain, the despair. For a moment it was just him and her. Together again.

* * *

 

He already knew the dinner would be awkward and potentially painful. His family was prepared to play pretend and he was unsure if he could keep it going long enough to be believable. His tie felt too tight and the house was too closed up. He could hardly breathe in the house. He felt like there was something pushing against him, pushing in on him. He grasped the banister and considered turning back to his room. He paused when he heard the doorbell. No one came running so he sighed and headed for the heavy door.

He glanced outside and saw no one for a moment. The porch seemed empty and he stepped out. Immediately his body calmed, the fresh air bathed over him and he closed his eyes. Calm.

"Mr. Queen?" he startled nearly reaching out in violence but managed to mask the movement. In front of him was a girl. She looked nearly drowned, her blonde hair hanging limply down her back. Her shirt was plastered to her shoulders and she shivered. He pulled his jacked off without thinking and went to wrap it around her. Her hand reached up to push back but her heel stumbled.

He grabbed her, clutching her to him, her wet clothes soaking into his suit. He heard a clatter and glanced at the computer that bounced down the steps and into a rather large puddle. She squeaked and pushed away from him, rushing back into the rain.

"Miss!" he called after her. He rushed down the steps behind her. The rain was almost comforting in a weird way and he found himself finding a sense of peace he hadn't felt since coming home.

"Frak," she mumbled looking at the damaged computer." Her glasses were perched on the edge of her nose and she worriedly pushed them back up. "I'm so getting fired."

"Come on," Oliver offered. He helped her up and steered her into the foyer. She sneezed quietly and looked back at the door, wringing her hands. She was so clearly worried about the computer and Oliver was at a loss.

"Oh! You're Mr. Queen. I mean Oliver. I mean Oliver Queen," she babbled. "The guy who drowned. Or didn't drown. Did you? Drown I mean? That's rude nevermind."

"I…" Oliver started.

"I just...Mr. Steele needed that computer and my boss was on me all day about getting the data off for the meeting," she continued. "26 hours and counting and I can't think straight and now it's ruined. He'll fire me. He's kind of scary. Maybe it's the accent. Not that British people are scary…"

He watched fascinated as a small puddle formed beneath her feet, her bright red shoes seeming in opposition to her conservative, almost plain outfit. Oliver rarely noticed odd things about women but the light pink nail polish on her toes seemed to shine in the foyer light. He shook his head and turned his attention back to the wildly gesturing, babbling girl in front of him.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if I get fired. I just leased my car which by the way is terrible in the rain," she continued. "Don't you hate rain? The only good thing about it is going home and getting into some PJs and crawling into bed.

She blushed then and looked around the massive foyer. He used her moment of quiet to finally fully wrap his jacket around her shoulders. It was damp but dryer than anything she was wearing.

"What did I tell you? Yachts suck!" a voice said from the doorway. Oliver turned and saw Tommy Merlyn entering the foyer. He smiled broadly and pulled Oliver in for a hug. "I missed you."

"Oh sorry, you have company. Of course you have company," she continued. "I'm babbling. That's the last thing you need!"

"Tommy why don't you go join my Mom and Thea while I help Ms…" Oliver trailed off. Tommy nodded and walked away, dropping his overcoat over the coat hanger.

"Smoak," she offered. "With an 'oa' and no 'e'. You don't care. What's wrong with me?" She shivered and sneezed again.

"Smoak," Oliver echoed. He offered his hands in a placating gesture. "Why don't I get you something warmer to put on and help you to your car?"

"Oh no I couldn't," she whispered. "The computer…"

"I'll cover for you," he replied. "Can you fix it?"

"I backed up the files at the office," she considered. "I could get it for tomorrow."

"Okay good. It's a plan," Oliver said as he pulled her towards the laundry room. Surely there was something there she could take. "Here, take this." The clothes he'd worn from the hospital were clean and would probably never be worn again.

"I...thank you Mr. Queen," she whispered. He left her alone then, allowing her to change in peace and arranged for Raisa to provide a cup of tea to take. He went to Walter and explained his momentary klutziness and how the QC girl had not been at fault. It would be fixed.

He rushed back to find Ms. Smoak gone. The only reminder was the small puddle in the foyer and a small scribbled note. I'm glad you aren't dead.

* * *

 

"Okay. What else did you miss? Super bowl winners...Giants, Steelers, Saints, Packers, Giants again. A black president, that's new. Oh and Lost? They were all dead...I think," Tommy filled the silence. Raisa smiled across the way at Oliver and he attempted to keep his mind on the dinner. He could still feel that momentary flicker of awareness from the scene in the foyer. He shook his head and looked at Thea.

"What was it like there?" she asked and silence reigned around the table.

"Cold," Oliver replied softly. " It was cold."

"We should do the city," Tommy offered trying to defuse the tension.

"That would be wonderful," Moira encouraged. "Just like old times."

"I'd actually like to go to the office," Oliver said surprising himself. "I'd like to see the changes."

"Well there's plenty of time for that. Queen Consolidated isn't going anywhere," Walter replies drinking his wine. His mother and Walter share a glance. Oliver watches in quiet contemplation and considers his options. That will need to be addressed.

Oliver glances back to Thea and looks out at the pouring rain. It's strange to see it reflecting in the glass after so long. It is a contemplative moment and Oliver wills for a little quiet as his mind races to find it's center.

"Oh!" Raisa, carrying a bowl trips into him and he catches her without thinking. The Russian flows out of him unthinkingly and he can't help but wonder how those around him will react. He can almost feel the tattoo on his chest throb in warning. Captain. Bratva. Killer.

"You speak Russian?" Tommy asks surprised. Oliver pats Raisa's arm and turns back to the table considering how to respond.

"I didn't realize you took Russian at college, Oliver" Walter offers an out and Oliver nearly leaps at it. Instead he decides to discuss the elephant in the room.

"I didn't realize you were sleeping with my mother Walter," he replies. Thea looks shocked but quickly throws suspicion from herself.

"No one had to tell me Mom," he explains. "It's clear."

"I...Oliver...we're married," Moira stutters. "We never did anything while your father…while you were...here."

"We believed Robert was gone," Walter explains. "We...you were...gone."

"It's okay," Oliver replies pained. While it wasn't a surprise, he still finds the discussion distasteful. The sounds, the lightning, it's too much. He needs to breathe. "May I be excused?"

Moira nods and it takes every ounce of willpower to walk out of the room calmly. In his room he locks the door and opens the window. The fresh air pours into the space and he gulps in air. His hand shakes and he reaches for the window frame. It's hard pretending. Much harder than he'd envisioned. He spins and looks at his desk and remembers the damaged computer.

* * *

 

He was on the boat again, watching Sara be ripped from him. He could hear her shocked screams, his own screams echoing in the storm. His father grabbed him, the smell of salt water strong around him. There was lightning and thunder as their bodies were thrown around the lifeboat.

"Oliver! Wake up!" a hand shook him. He reacted, unthinkingly. The body flipped beneath him, his hand pinned to the throat of his assailant. His hand groped for his bow.

"Oliver!" a voice cut through the haze and Oliver glanced in surprise to see Walter in front of him. He glanced down in horror at his mother's terrified gaze. Pushing her away from him, he flung himself towards the open window.

"I'm sorry. Sorry." he stammered helplessly. He shook against the window seat and groped around for something, anything to hold.

"It's okay Oliver," Moira rasped. "Sweetheart, it's okay. You're home now." She reached for him, pulling him against her and murmuring to him. The shaking subsided but he could hear the whispered words between Moira and Walter. He couldn't even sleep in a bed anymore. He could be dangerous. What about Thea?

He clutched his mother closer and hoped he wasn't too broken. He could come back from this and keep his family safe right? Was Oliver Queen too far gone?

* * *

 

Oliver got dressed, thinking about the nightmare he'd suffered the night before. One wrong movement and he could have killed his mother. He would need to start locking his door at night. He couldn't risk accidentally hurting anyone. He paused and listened to Thea's laugh in the other room. Speedy…

He moved down the hall, listening to soft chatter about drugs and considered his options. Speedy was going to get in over her head quickly or she already had but he'd only been back a few days. He couldn't just yell at her and try to make her see reason.

"Ollie!" Thea said when she opened the door. She hugged him briefly before stepping back.

"No one's called me that in a while Speedy," he said with a smile. Thea rolled her eyes and looked at her friend.

"Worst nickname ever," she enunciated.

"You were always chasing after me as a kid. I thought it fit pretty well. Maybe it still does," he replied knowingly. He let his eyes linger on the fine powder on her dresser for a moment until Thea seemed to realize. The girl made a quick getaway mumbling about school.

"Sorry about her," Thea offered lamely.

"I have something for you," he changed the subject. "It's a hozen and in Buddhism it symbolizes reconnecting. I hoped it would one day reconnect me to you."

Thea smiled and clutched the hozen, looking up at him. Oliver smiled and reached out to pull her in for a hug. He'd missed a lot during those five years but he had thought of his sister always. She was so much bigger now, so grown up. He'd missed so much with her and he wasn't sure he'd ever make up for it.

"A rock!" That is sweet," Tommy said as he entered the room. "You know I want one of those t-shirts that says 'My friend was a castaway, and all I got was this crappy shirt' but a rock?"

"Don't let him get you into too much trouble," Thea said against his shoulder. "You just came home." She smiled at him and left, grabbing her backpack on the way out. Oliver looked at Tommy and waited.

"So the city awaits," Tommy offered and Oliver smiled in return.

* * *

 

"Your funeral blew," Tommy said with a laugh.

"Did you get lucky?" Oliver asked.

"Everyone was so sad...and huggy," Tommy chuckled. "So are we looking for a venue for your welcome home bash?"

"My…?" Oliver asked, turning away from the view of the Queen Industrial factory.

"You came back from the dead. This calls for a party. You tell me where and when. I'll arrange everything," Tommy answered. "And this city's gone to crap. Your dad sold his factory just in time. Why'd you even want to come this way?"

"No reason," Oliver answered. The building would serve his purpose but he needed to get away from Tommy and his family for awhile. He needed to think and all the chatter was starting to grate. The city noises were unwelcome after his solitude.

"So what did you miss the most? Steaks? Drinks? Sex?"

"Laurel," Oliver replied. "I'd like to see her."

"Everyone is happy you're alive Oliver," Tommy started. "You really want to see the one who isn't?"

Oliver nodded and Tommy sighed. The driver turned and was directed towards CNRI. Tommy filled Oliver in on Laurel's journey the past few years, periodically dropping somewhat intimate knowledge before coughing and trying to get back on track. Oliver watched the Glades pass by his window and clenched his fist at the amount of pain he could see.

* * *

 

"Hello Laurel," Oliver said with a small smile. "Can we talk?"

Laurel looked shocked to see him and she stammered for a moment while her friend backed out of the awkward moment. She finally nodded and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He watched her steel herself and prepare for the painful conversation.

"So you went to law school," Oliver said. "You always said you would."

"Everyone's so proud," Laurel replied bitterly.

"Adam Hunt's a heavy hitter. You sure you want to get in the ring with him?" Oliver asked, swearing under his breath at his slip. He shouldn't know who Adam Hunt is in context.

"Five years and you want to talk about my court cases?" Laurel asked stopping them both on the street corner. "Why are you even here Ollie?"

"To say sorry. It was my fault she was there," he stated. "Don't blame Sara."

"For what Ollie? For falling under your spell? For thinking she had a chance? For doing everything I ever did?" Laurel angrily answered. "She was my sister. My sister! I couldn't be angry because she was dead. I couldn't grieve because I was so angry. We buried an empty coffin because her body was at the bottom of the ocean where you left her. It should have been you. You should have died."

"I am sorry Laurel," he offered lamely. She glared at him and spun away.

"Yeah I'm sorry too. I'd hoped that you'd rot in hell a whole lot longer than five years." She stormed off and spoke to Tommy briefly. Oliver sighed and moved to approach his best friend.

He knew Tommy wanted to do something light and easy and act as though they'd been doing this for the past five years. If they didn't talk about the island then surely it didn't happen. Oliver was good at denial sometimes but lurking in his mind was the darkness and his screams when his father died.

"What?" Tommy asked suddenly. Oliver spun around and saw Tommy go down. A prick in his neck proved to be a tranq dart. Oliver attempted to stay awake but whatever drug, it was too strong. Down he went, his eyes watching as an innocent man was gunned down for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

* * *

 

"Mr. Queen…" Oliver blinked as the hood was removed from over his head. He glanced around assessing the number of kidnappers and Tommy's body on the floor. He looked for signs of life but was distracted by the man with the taser. "Did you father survive the accident? Did he make it to the island?"

Oliver grunted as the taser hit him a few times. He breathed through the pain considering worse ways to do damage. Tommy didn't move. Oliver looked up at his masked captors.

"Yes he did," Oliver replied.

"What did he tell you Mr. Queen?" the kidnapper asked, brandishing the taser.

"He told me I'm going to kill you."

Laughter filled the room and Oliver glanced back at Tommy. No movement. His hands were freed now and he raised them to show the captors he was not longer subdued. Oliver quickly dispatched two of the kidnappers and took off, stopping to check Tommy. A pulse…

Oliver climbed and jumped over the roofs pursuing the final man. He couldn't escape. He managed to catch up to the guy and pulled him in.

"No one can know my secret." The neck snapped and Oliver grimaced. Tommy needed to be seen to and a story had to be concocted. Hopefully Tommy had remained unconscious throughout.

* * *

 

"So that's it. A guy in a green hood flew in and single-handedly took out three armed kidnappers and just left the two of you there?" Lance asked. "Why?"

"I couldn't say Detective," Oliver replied. Tommy leaned back with an ice pack on his forehead. "Find him and ask him."

"And you?" he gestured to Tommy. "Did you see the hood guy?"

"I just saw...movement," he offered. "I was just coming out of it."

"Yeah, funny isn't it? One day back and already someone's gunning for you," Lance sneered. "Aren't you popular?"

"Were you able to identify the men Detectives?" Moira asked cuttingly. Both replied in the negative.

"They probably figured you'd pay a Queen's ransom for your child," Lance replied.

"I don't find your tone appropriate Detective," Moira answered.

"Gentlemen if Oliver remembers anything else he'll be in touch," Walter concluded. "Raisa will see you out."

Under his breath Lance managed, "Your luck never seem to run out does it?"

Oliver glanced at Tommy whose gaze was full of questions. Oliver shrugged and glanced at his mother. She sighed and came over to hug him. "We just got you back…"

* * *

 

"You have changed Mr. Oliver," Raisa teased as she carried his tray to him. Oliver jumped up and took the tray from her, smiling at her broadly.

"I missed you Raisa," he said softly. She reached up and pressed her hand to his heart. He closed his eyes for a second enjoying the momentary comfort.

"You need to find reasons to smile Mr. Oliver," she told him. "This house has been lost in despair for so long."

"It's hard Raisa," he replied. Her hand slid down to her side as he turned to lower the tray to the table. He turned back to her and offered her a small shrug. "I'm not the same man."

"You have the same good heart Mr. Oliver," she told him fiercely. "You just need to find something that makes you happy. Now you have that chance. Do not waste so long as you did before."

She smiled at him again and left, pulling his door shut behind her. He turned to the tray and considered the request.

"Something that makes me happy…" he considered. The computer beeped and the concept was forgotten in favor of his crusade.

* * *

 

"Oliver, I want to introduce you to someone," Moira began. "This is John Diggle. He'll be accompanying you from now on."

She gestured to the man standing behind her and Oliver sized him up. The last thing he needed was someone following him around all day.

"I don't need a babysitter," he said firmly.

"Darling if Oliver feels he doesn't need armed protection then…" Walter assisted.

"I understand but after five years...this is something I need," she replied. She reached up and stroked Oliver's face. "Please."

Soon Oliver found himself in the back seat of the town car considering his new shadow.

"So...what do I call you?"

"Diggle's good. Dig if you want," he replied. He kept glancing in the rearview mirror, attempting to see if they were being followed. They weren't but Oliver understood the concern.

"Ex-military then?" Oliver asked. He knew but acting came with a certain level of stupidity sometimes.

"Yes sir. 105th airborne out of Kandahar. Retired. Been in the private sector for a little more than 4 years now," Diggle began. "I don't want there to be any confusion Mr. Queen. My ability to keep you from harm will outweigh your comfort. Do we have an agreement?"

Oliver clicked the door open and jumped out, jumping a nearby fence and running away from the confused bodyguard. A block or two away he stopped listening for the sounds of pursuing footsteps. He hadn't had the opportunity to watch Diggle in action and was unsure how far he would follow. When no sounds greeted him, he smiled.

Bags over his shoulder he broke into the old Queen Industrial factory and began looking for the best place to set up shop. The basement was as good as any and would fit with his general plans. The room needed to be big enough for training, supplies and relatively simple computer set-up.

Oliver considered the prominent name of Mr. Hunt as the news reported his acts of fraud and theft. He knew the man was much worse but Laurel would only be fighting him on those small charges. The Hood would be needed to make a point. He walked to his crate and removed his bow and hood. It was definitely time to make himself known.

* * *

 

Oliver arrived outside of his party and looked over at Adam Hunt's office. He pulled out his phone and watched the timer continue to tick, sighing at the empty wire transfer. 10pm was certainly enough time. He considered the amount of bodyguards he had seen entering the building hours before. Mr. Hunt was prepping for battle. He still had time and Oliver could only hope Mr. Hunt was a smart man.

The party was in full swing and he glanced at the debauchery happening in front of him. For a second it was almost like nothing had changed. There was Tommy surrounded by women and laughing the world away. The alcohol was flowing freely and inebriated guests were already starting to sway. This used to be his scene. This had been his life. Somehow it felt different. Less than. Oliver Queen was gone and who was he now?

The lights flashed and in the mirrored glass he saw the hood. That was who he was now. The Hood was his identity. Oliver Queen? The window dressing. He put on his smile and headed for Tommy, laughing about the crazy things happening all around them. Tommy pointed out a few women and Oliver shrugged. He had plenty of time to find the right girl to take home after all. No need to rush things.

Oliver turned and saw Thea and clenched his fist. Tommy stared after him as he rushed over to confront Thea.

"Ollie, hey! This party is sick!" Thea giggled.

"Who let you in here Speedy?" Oliver questioned grabbing her arm. Thea ripped her arm away from him.

"I'm not 12 anymore Ollie!" she replied. "Look I love you but you can't judge me for being just like you."

"I'm sorry I was away for so long," he offered. "Please Speedy."

"Away?" she laughed. "No Ollie. You died. You both did. I went to your funerals. I saw your headstones. I...Mom had Walter and I had no one. Everyone wants to pretend the last five years never happened but I can't. This is me now."

Thea pulled away from him and stomped over to her friends, searching her bag. Oliver spun away from her and threw out the little packet of drugs. He glanced up and caught John Diggle's gaze. John nodded simply and looked away, approving of the maneuver. Oliver looked back out at the party and turned, steeling himself to play the role he needed to play. "

Oh!" he breathed. "Laurel. You came."

"Tommy said there were too many years between us to leave things the way we left them. Can we talk," she said with a smile.

For a second Oliver was transported back all those years before when it was just the two of them. Oliver and Laurel. Meant to be. He had been a terrible person to her then. Young and foolish. Now he had to stay that way and keep her safe.

"I'm sorry about saying you should have died. I was wrong," Laurel said to him as they entered the upper floor of the building. "Sara...she…"

"If I could take her place, I would in a heartbeat," Oliver promised. Five years was a long time to wish you had been the one to die versus the others. He knew he was a poor consolation for the others.

"About Sara...there's something that I've been afraid to ask, but I need to know," Laurel fidgeted. "When the Gambit...when it went down...did she suffer?"

"No," Oliver assured her. "It was quick." "I think about her all the time," she whispered. "She'd be done college now and working. Maybe married. I just...it's hard."

"I think about her too," Oliver replied. "I...hmm." He pulled his phone out as the little timer alarm dinged.

"You can talk to me if you need to Oliver," Laurel began. "Is there something wrong?"

Oliver sighed and slid the phone back into his pocket. Time to throw around a little hurt.

"I asked someone to do something. They didn't. Laurel...you always saw the best in me. Right now you're looking at me and wondering if I'm a better person. Did the island change me? It didn't. Stay away from me. I'll just hurt you," Oliver explained. "I got 5 years of debauchery to catch up on. Tommy's waiting."

"You know what? You're wrong. That island did change you. At least now you're honest!" she said angrily. She stomped away from him and Oliver pressed his fingers to his temples. It was for the best.

He rushed down the steps and headed for the service area. He only had a few minutes before Adam Hunt possibly left his office. It was a small window to be gone from the party but if the cops asked, he needed as tight of an alibi as possible.

"Something I can help you with sir?" John Diggle asked.

"I just needed a moment to myself," Oliver tried to explain. He didn't have time for this. The clock was ticking and he needed to move. Waiters and servers were already starting to notice him and he needed to not be seen leaving.

"I would believe you, Mr. Queen if you weren't so full of crap," Diggle replied. "Party's this way."

Oliver thought quickly, running through the ways to get away and keep his story intact. He moved for the door, pulling the door towards himself claiming it was locked. He waited for Diggle to reach for the handle, grabbed him and immobilized him.

"Sorry Mr. Diggle," Oliver said as he propped the man against the pillar. "I can't have anyone knowing my secret."

He raced down the hallway, stopping to grab the duffel bag he'd hidden earlier that day. His window was closing and he had very little time to accomplish his goal.

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, Oliver rushed to change. His suit was tucked back in the bag and hidden elsewhere for later retrieval. He popped by and saw Diggle still lying against the pillar. He'd be waking up momentarily and Oliver couldn't wait to see how his new bodyguard reacted.

He stepped back into the party to see the police rushing into the building. The party had been frozen in silence as the police started yelling about the party being over.

"Detective. This is a private party," Oliver said as he buttoned his jacket. "Can I help you."

"Yeah? There was an incident at Adam Hunt's building tonight," Lance replied. "You know anything about that?"

"Who's Adam Hunt?" Oliver asked. "I've been out of town for awhile."

Snickers and laughter moved through the crowd and Oliver managed to offer them all a smile. Lance was turning an interesting shade of red.

"Yeah. Well, he just got attacked by the guy with the hood. The guy that saved your ass the other day. Managed to flee to this building right here."

"Well if you find him, I'd be willing to offer a reward," Oliver chuckled. "The guy in the hood saved my life. Go ahead and search away."

"And you Queen?" Lance growled. "Where were you during the last 20 minutes?"

Tommy looked over at Oliver and shrugged. There was no alibi to be had when no one saw the Party Boy. John Diggle was still out cold in the back room and there was no one who could vouch for him and hold up against any level of interrogation.

"He was with me Officer," a voice said nearby. Oliver turned and saw her. Ms. Smoak. She was still dressed for work and clutching her purse tightly. Eyes spun to her and the party started murmuring about this unknown guest.

"With you?" Lance asked in disbelief. Oliver knew she was not his type. Everyone who knew him or had known him, rather, knew he went for leggy models and starlets. Definitely not quiet, computer girls.

"Mr. Steele asked me to bring something to his house...not like that!" she blushed. "I had to bring a laptop but it got ruined by Oliver...I mean Mr. Queen. He told me to drop it off here because Mr. Steele and Mrs. Queen...Steele? Queen were going out tonight."

She rubbed a hand over her face and grimaced. Oliver smiled at her and she glanced down at her shoes. She raised her head again and looked at Detective Lance.

"He was with me the whole time and I haven't been drinking so I'm sure," she offered. "Sorry Officer but we didn't see a man in a green hood."

"Detective!" he growled in response. Lance spun towards Oliver and gestured, stabbing Oliver in the chest with one finger.

"You! I know you were a part of this!"

"I'm sorry Detective but I can't be of more help," Oliver replied. He spun to face the crowd and smiled his best playboy smile. "I'll give 2 million dollars to anyone who can find a nutbar in a green hood!"

The cheers erupted nearby and the music came blaring on. Lance shouldered closer to him, got in his face, gesturing wildly.

"Did you even try to save my daughter?" he demanded. "Or did you just watch her die?"

Lance's partner wrestled him away as Oliver's body went rigid. His hand twitched awkwardly and he turned to face the woman who had given him an alibi. She was gone. He scanned nearby but the crowd had reformed, becoming a sea of bodies in sequins and glittery dresses. Tommy approached looking unsure.

"What happened to you on that island?" he asked gently.

"A lot," Oliver replied. He caught a glimpse of the blue dress and swish of blonde hair heading for the exit. "I have to…" he managed before pushing through the crowd. He had to catch her.

* * *

 

Oliver raced after her, dodging the variety of partiers as he sought to catch up to the one who had given him an out from the police. He caught up to her in the doorway of the building, grasping her arm gently to stop her. She spun towards him clearly surprised to see him. Her glasses caught the light for a second and he was momentarily blinded. His hand slid down her arm until he could only feel the heat from the back of her hand against his.

"Mr Queen?" she stammed quietly. "Can I...is there something you need? Should I not have come? I was surprised about the invitation."

"Why did you do that? Tell Detective Lance I was with you?" He asked her. She glanced towards the road and the multitude of cop cars before answering.

"You helped me keep my job Mr. Queen," she replied. "I don't really care where you were."

"What if I was that man?" he asked quietly. She considered him for a moment before looking up at the broken window on the top floor.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "The man in the green hood attacked Adam Hunt and did something no one else has been able to do. I read the newspapers Mr. Queen. Perhaps he deserved it."

"That sounds cold Ms. Smoak," he answered carefully. She turned again to face the street and glanced back at him.

"There's a lot of hurt in this world Mr. Queen. It's a shame to see it so brazenly inflicted," she offered. She smiled at him for a second and then spoke once more,"When you were trapped on that island for five years...was this was you imagined? The party? The girls?"

"Of course. I'm a billionaire playboy after all," he answered with a grin. She shook her head before stepping down a few steps. Her dress swayed against her hips as she spun to look at him, her hand on her purse strap.

"It seems sad," she whispered. "Sometimes we can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. Goodnight Mr. Queen."

"If it was you," he began, "what would you do?"

She paused at the bottom of the steps and turned again to face him. Her face crinkled in thought as she considered her possibilities. He expected something about family or living life to its fullest.

"Cry," she responded. "I'd want someone to cling to and tell me everything was going to be okay. Then I'd want a pint of ice cream probably or a Big Belly Burger. I'm not... particularly strong though. Goodnight Mr. Queen."

He watched her walk to the street and walk down towards the only open street nearby. He watched her to make sure she hailed a cab safely, her blond hair glinting in the street lights as she sat in the cab and rode away from the unnecessary noise in front of his shallow party.

"Goodnight Ms. Smoak."


	2. Valuable (1.02)

" _The day I went missing was the day I died. Five years in hell forged me into a weapon, which I use to honor a vow I made to my father, who sacrificed his life for mine. In his final moments, he told me the truth that our family's wealth has been built on the suffering of others. That he failed our city, and that it was up to me to save it and right his wrongs. But to do that without endangering the people closest to me, I have to be something else."_

"...Mr Redman claims refunding the halcyon pension plan has always been his intent. But sources say Redman was coerced by the vigilante."

"This guy gets more airtime than the Kardashians, right?" Oliver asked as he entered the living room. He straightened his tie and looked over at Speedy's confused look.

"Five years on an island and you still know who they are," she said. "You are certainly using your time wisely."

"It's just nice to see how much our culture has improved while I was away."

"The city used to be different. People used to feel safe," Moira said shaking her head. "Oliver do you have questions about today?"

"No mom. I've been in a courtroom before," Oliver replied.

"Just read out a brief, prepared statement to the judge and your death in-absentia judgment will be voided," Walter explained. Oliver sighed and turned to face Tommy as he headed in. It would be quick, hopefully. He'd been up most of the night thinking about what he would say when the Judge asked him to explain what happened.

The media storm wasn't unexpected. The fact it happened outside was an improvement. If he had been surrounded by all those people inside the courthouse he couldn't imagine how he might have reacted. His hand clenched to stop the shaking and he finally cleared the last of them.

The courtroom was quiet as he recounted what happened after the Gambit went down. He knew his mother was crying softly and Walter looked pained. He knew Tommy was trying to make sense of how different the Oliver Queen he knew could be. There was a lot of pity in the courtroom and it was deafening. His ears were ringing, his chest tight and achy. It was...he needed to breathe.

Court ended moments later with the motion granted. Everyone wanted to rush him to the office and he found himself standing back. The walls, the elevators, the pity. It was too much after this. He needed some time to think.

"Mom, that was heavier than I was expecting it to be. Can we do that tomorrow?"

"Sure honey," she replied. "You rest and we'll do the tour tomorrow."

He waved goodbye to his family and followed Tommy down the other hallway towards Diggle and the car that would be waiting. Turning the corner he was surprised to encounter Laurel and two other women..

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She looked pained.

"They were bringing me back from the dead. Legally speaking. What are you doing here?"

"My job. This is Emily Nocenti. Emily, Oliver just got back from five years on an uncharted island. Before that he was cheating on me with my sister. He was wit her when she died and last week he told me to stay away from him. I intend to."

Laurel shouldered past him and Emily smiled at him before stepping between him and Tommy to follow Laurel. Tommy nearly chuckled but caught himself when he saw Oliver's face.

"You just make friends wherever you go," Tommy offered. "That girl though the blonde? She looked interested."

"I'm not looking for anything like that Tommy."

"What have you done with Oliver Queen?"

The press was waiting for him when he came out of the building. He could feel John Diggle at his side and Tommy at his back. The pressing of bodies was overwhelming and the second he got into the car, he couldn't help but peel away. He knew Tommy and Diggle would be upset but he had to get away.

He drove for a while allowing his mind to go to autopilot. An hour outside of the city he found what he was looking for. The campgrounds were deserted at this time of year and he breathed easy once he stepped out in the area surrounded by trees. He stripped off the suit jacket, the dress shirt, shoes and socks and took a deep breath.

The dirt was cool against his feet and the trees waved in the subtle breeze. He sat down in his suit pants and just breathed in and out, letting his breathing calm in meditation. The birds fluttered around him and he heard the sound of a rabbit eating grass near the front driver's side door. He calmed and thought about the cave on Lian Yu that had been his first home on the island.

He jumped up and took to the trees, scaling the branches until he could rest on a bough up towards the top of the tree. He rested his back against the trunk and closed his eyes, allowing his mind to wander.

He could feel his father's book throbbing in his back pocket, the list of names calling to him. He should be on the streets stopping the bad guys and protecting his city. At the same time he just couldn't focus.

The ringing of his cell phone almost sent him off the branch. He forgot about it again. He fumbled for it and listened to his mother chatter on about the Queen Consolidated tour she had arranged for the morning. She clearly hadn't heard from Mr. Diggle yet. He silenced his phone and closed his eyes.

Hours passed while he slept in the tree, enjoying the solitude.

* * *

"Now where do you think my son is going on these chaperone-less excursions?" Moira Queen demanded.

"Ma'am I truly do not know," Diggle replied.

"And he truly doesn't" Oliver joked as he walked in the room. He'd managed to camouflage the dirt on his pants but he knew if anyone looked closely enough they would question the stains from the woods.

"Then perhaps you'd like to share with me where it is you run off to," Moira demanded.

"I've been alone for five years Mom," he began. He waved his hand at her response. "Alone."

"I see," she bit out.

"I promise to introduce her if it ever gets to the exchanging first names," he joked.

"I'd rather you promise to take Mr. Diggle with you on your next rendezvous. It's not safe darling. You've been abducted once and there is a maniac out there, hunting the wealthy."

"That maniac saved my life," Oliver interrupted. He didn't have time to discuss the vigilante right now. He could already feel the anxiety rising and he still had to deal with Martin Somers.

"This isn't a game Oliver!" his mother cried. "I lost you once and I am not going through that again. Promise me."

"Okay," he placated. "Dig's my guy. Sorry to give you so much grief Dig."

"I served three tours in Afghanistan Mr. Queen," Dig began buttoning his coat. "You don't even come close to my definition of grief. But I tell you what. You ditch me one more time and no one will have to fire me."

Oliver sighed and caught Thea heading down the steps in another revealing dress.

"Don't bother trying to pickpocket my stash this time because I'm going to go get drunk," she said as Oliver stepped in front of her.

"Thea do you think this is what Dad would want for you?"

"Funny thing Oliver," Thea replied. "Dead people don't want anything."

"I was dead and I wanted a lot."

"Except for us. You've been home a week. You're never here and when you are you avoid Mom and judge me. Don't wait up."

Oliver watched her go knowing he couldn't stop her. He gestured for Diggle.

"I'm staying in tonight," he said. "I promise. I want you to go after Thea and make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble."

"Of course Sir," he replied. "If you aren't here when I get back…"

"I'll be here," Oliver promised. It was only a matter of waiting for his phone to tell him Thea was heading home. He would beat them both back.

* * *

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Moira asked him. She was walking with him arms linked as Walter and her pointed out a variety of minor, unimportant changes to Queen Consolidated. He was thinking about Somers and his reconnaissance. Somers would make his move soon. Laurel or Emily. Laurel or Emily first…?

"I am," he admitted. He couldn't help but glance around every time he saw a flash of blonde hair. He knew in a company of this size he wouldn't see Ms. Smoak. Her first name haunted him but he was sure she'd eventually tell him.

"I remember your father used to bring you here when you were a boy," Walter said with a smile. "You were always so excited."

"Dad used to let me drink soda in the office," Oliver smiled at the memory. He had a lot of good memories with his father.

"Ah, so now we know why you always wanted to go," Moira laughed. "Robert had such a soft touch."

They pushed into Walter's office and Oliver felt the air shift around them. They were going to ask him something. They were going to expect something from him.

"Come Oliver, sit," Moira gestured.

"Mom it makes me nervous when you ask me to sit down. I'm fine."

"The company's about to break ground on a new site for the applied sciences division and we'd like to honor your father," Walter began.

"That's nice."

"And we'd like to make an announcement at the dedication that you will be taking a leadership position in the company. It's the perfect time for you to return."

"Yes Oliver. You're meant to do this," his mother explained.

"No. I don't want to lead anything or…"

"You said you wanted to be a different person," his mother started. "You are Robert's son and this is what Robert's son would do."

"I don't need to be reminded of my father," Oliver replied. "I know who I am."

"Obviously you don't."

"Look Oliver everyone knows this transition is really difficult for you," Walter placated.

"Which part Walter? Everyone is fantasizing I got my MBA while away? Or the fact my father's CFO now sleeps down the hall from me? I have no interest in this company."

"You know five years ago your irresponsibility was somewhat charming. It is a lot less so now." Moira stormed out of the office, Walter hot on her heels.

* * *

Oliver watched through the glass wall as his mother and Walter walked away. He frowned and headed for the door. He didn't want to hurt anyone but he couldn't just pick up his life as though he'd never been gone. He just wasn't cut out for that kind of life anymore. He opened the heavy glass door, sighing at the apology he would need to offer later.

"Mr. Queen," a familiar voice called. He turned and saw Ms. Smoak walking briskly towards him. "Hi. Are you coming to work here now? Uncomfortable chairs but decent coffee."

She smiled up at him and gestured to Walter's office. "Visiting Mr. Steele? I was going to drop off that computer from the other day but he practically knocked me down chasing after his wife. Did something happen. Oh! Did I stumble into a family matter? Oh I did. I'll just...go."

"Wait," he said. He grabbed her hand until she turned to look at him. "Will you show me where I can get some decent coffee around here?"

"Sure Mr. Queen," she smiled. He held her hand for a second longer and then let it drop to her side. She turned and gestured for him to follow her. She chattered about her IT job as they wandered down a few hallways. He noticed very quickly the polish and wide hallways vanished as they started passing cubicles. The break room was miniscule, smaller than the smallest bathroom in the Queen Manor. She slid over to the old coffee maker and started preparing a cup for him. A group of workers came rushing through with a series of computer carts, pushing Oliver into the small space.

"Sorry," he offered when he slid up against her back. "They're moving computers."

"Yeah the 17th floor is getting an upgrade or downgrade depending on how you look at things," she rambled. "It's an upgrade for them but it's still outdated. Queen Consolidated needs to look forward, not back. Here."

She turned towards him and found her nose almost buried against his suit jacket. He smelled like dirt and trees. She liked contained places, cubicles and basements. She didn't like camping or lots of nature but there was something soothing about the masculine scent. She could feel the heat pouring from his body, The coffee was scalding against her hand but she couldn't move away. She gulped noisily and moved to look up at him. He towered over and she watched his blue eyes darken at her gaze. What was this? Why…?

"Let me take the coffee," he murmured. "I don't want you to burn yourself." He took the coffee from her and moved away. He huddled in the doorway putting a foot between them and turned his attention to the black coffee she'd gotten.

"Do you want sugar or cream?" she asked. He was staring so intently at the cup as though she hadn't spoken. "Mr. Queen?"

"No," he replied. "It's just...it's been a long time since I had coffee. Sugar is a strong taste and I'm...not used to it anymore."

"Right," she offered lamely. "I….why do you look like someone kicked your dog?"

"My…oh!" he laughed then for a moment. She couldn't but smile because he looked so surprised he was laughing. "No...nothing like that."

"What happened?"

"Expectations," he said shaking his head. "My mother wants me to run Applied Sciences."

"That's a big job," she said. "I know a lot of people are trying to get into that department."

"You too?"

"It's the future," she said with a shrug. "I don't want to spend my life in a cubicle fixing computers that have had coffee spilled on them."

"Understandable," he said. He drank the coffee for a moment and she found herself struggling to find something to do with her hands. She didn't want coffee. "It's...everyone just…"

"Wants to forget?" she offered. She caught his glance and sighed. "They want to pretend it didn't happen. This is where you'd be Mr. Queen. You would have come to work for your father and in the five years they'd be handing you a department. You'd carry a briefcase and go home to some ridiculously expensive, modern loft. You'd maybe be married to Ms. Lance and thinking about kids. Maybe even have some."

"I don't want to disappoint her," he replied. "She doesn't deserve that."

"The island changed you Mr. Queen," she said. "It's silly to assume you can just...pick up where you left off."

He finished the coffee in silence under her watchful gaze. He could feel her attention like a whisper. It floated over him and gave him a reprieve from the shadows of his mind where the island echoed.

"Thank you Ms. Smoak," he said. "I...what's your first name?"

"I think...maybe you need a little mystery Mr. Queen," she said with a smile. "I have to get back to work."

He grasped her arm as she went to brush past him, halting her in her steps.

"Oliver,"

"No, that's not my name," she said with a smile. She slipped out of his grasp and made her way down the hall. Before she was out of sight she turned back and smiled. Her wave caught him unawares and he found himself waving back stupidly at her retreating back. A throat cleared nearby and he turned to find his shadow waiting for him.

"Sir?"

The pair moved through the building, pushing past the ridiculous amounts of press still looking for a comment. Oliver felt the pressure but it was muted. His thoughts were still distracted by Ms. Smoak and her ability to understand how he felt.

"The driver will be here in a minute Mr. Queen," Diggle explained.

"Okay."

"You know I spent the first 27 years of my life in Starling City and the next five in Afghanistan?" Diggle explained. "You want to know what I learned?"

"There's no place like home?"

"No just the opposite." Oliver turned to look at Diggle interested in what he had to say. "Home is a battlefield. Back home they're all trying to get you. Get you to open up, be somebody you're not sure you are anymore."

Oliver held his gaze and considered the man who was supposed to protect him. He really hadn't give the man much thought the past few days.

"Or I could be wrong. Maybe after five years alone you're not as messed up in the head as you have every right to be."

Silence washed over the car as the driver arrived. Oliver looked out the window at the camera flashes as they pulled away and wondered for the first time, why the only people who seemed to understand him were newcomers in his life.

* * *

Oliver listened to the news as another update on the Somers murder trial ran. He knew Somers was his next target but he had to figure out when to target the man. He worked on the docks and that would be easy to infiltrate. He grabbed his shirt to tug it on and sighed.

"Wait! How did you get those?!" Thea demanded as she barged in. "Mom said there were scars but Oliver...what happened to you?" Her hand touched his scars, trailing over the shark bite and the scar from Fyer's torture.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Of course not," she said. "You never want to talk to me."

"Thea wait. I...I'm sorry. I know I need to get better about talking about the island but I'm just not ready. Can you understand?"

"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "Do you have a second?"

He followed her through the house and into the backyard. Two headstones stood prominently in the clearing. Thea walked over and started to wipe the dirt off them and tug a weed or two from around the stones.

"About a month after the funerals, Mom stopped going out," she began. "Pretty soon it was like she wasn't there. So I'd come out here and talk to you. I'd tell you everything and beg you to come home."

"Thea…"

"I felt closer to you when you were dead. You weren't the only one in hell Ollie. You need to let someone in."

His eyes fell on his father's headstone and he didn't move when Thea walked away. He leaned down to touch the letters of his father's name. It was much nicer than the one on the island where his body was buried. At the same time he couldn't feel his father here. He couldn't feel anyone here.

* * *

She jumped at the sound of the knock. She wasn't expecting anyone. She didn't really have friends in Starling City and while life could be lonely it was all hers. For the first time in her life she wasn't explaining herself or pretending to be someone she wasn't. She padded for the door hoping it wasn't her next door neighbor who kept trying to get her to go out on a date.

"Mr. Queen!" she exclaimed. He was standing there holding a brown paper bag and looked sheepish. "Sorry. What are you doing...I mean can I help you?"

"I...do you know my sister?" he asked. "Or do you know of her?"

"Thea Queen, " she offered. "She's seventeen or something? Got arrested last year for shoplifting...but you wouldn't know that. It was on the news. Sorry...your sister."

"She told me I've been distant," he began. "I don't know how to let people in anymore. It's hard to talk to people."

She nodded encouragingly, holding the door tightly between her and him. "You should. There are good therapists in Starling City…"

"I was wondering if I could talk to you," he explained. "I...got your address from the QC directory. Only Smoak in the book. You didn't know me before so I'm not some huge disappointment."

"Come in," she said, opening the door. "You...uh…sorry for the tech mess. I was rebuilding one of my old computers. I don't really have much of a life but…"

"It's okay. I'm used to a lot of dirt," he replied and then froze. "I meant things like this don't bother me. I mean….sorry I'm not used to people."

"It's nice to see others babble sometimes. Saves me the job," she smiled. She cleared a place on the floor for him and he settled in next to the couch. She sat down next to him and tried to make space on the coffee table. It was difficult to find any room on the tech strewn area. He breathed in the fresh air from the open window and sighed. "So...you want to talk."

He opened the bag and pulled out a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He looked up at her and smiled broadly.

"You said ice cream," he said. "Do you like chocolate?"

"Who doesn't?"

He cracked open the container and offered her the spoon. He liked watching her eat, she just dug into the pint unapologetically. She blushed when she noticed him watching her. She offered him the pint and he took a spoonful.

"It's just like I remember it," he said as they ate more of the ice cream. She slipped to the floor next to him and just waited for him to speak.

"When I was away for the past five years, I wasn't just sitting on an island waiting to be rescued," he explained. "I made plans. I have goals."

"What do you want to do?" she asked. He shrugged for a moment thinking about his options. It's not like he could tell her he wanted to be a vigilante and rescue the city.

"I want...to help people," he finally said. "My father was a great man but he didn't always do what was right. I want to fix his mistakes."

"And you can't do that at Queen Consolidated?"

"While I'm taking in board meetings and socializing, I'm not really helping this city."

"So tell them this,"

"I tried. Trust me I did. My mother doesn't want to hear it."

"So show them who you want to be. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or build a playground or start a charity.. Just show them what you want to do when you're not in a board meeting."

"Thank you for...talking to me," he said. "You haven't asked."

"Asked about what?"

"The island. Everyone asks me about the island. What was it like there? You don't."

"If you want to talk about it, you will. You went through something. It's up to you to talk about or not. It's not anyone else's business."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. The ice cream disappeared between the two of them and Oliver felt himself relaxing in a haze of contentment. No one wanted anything. No one was expecting anything. He could just be.

* * *

"Sir?" Diggle asked as Oliver slid into back seat. He glanced up at the window and saw Ms. Smoak waving at him. He lingered for a moment watching as the lights went off and she hopefully went to get some sleep.

"I need to see Laurel. Then we'll head home."

"Of course sir."

The drive was quiet other than the sirens. Oliver tried to remember if the city had always been this bad. He'd been distracted by life at the time but were there this many sirens back then? Had the city always been this bad?

"Sir, Ms. Lance's apartment," Diggle offered. Oliver sighed and waited for the man to open the door. He found it strange to have the man shadowing him when he didn't need it. It would be difficult to get his mother to let up on this insanity. It was getting more and more difficult to get away from the man.

Thankfully Diggle waited at the end of the hall while Oliver went to talk to Laurel. He couldn't stand the thought of the man standing over him while he tried to apologize. He didn't want Laurel to hate him but he couldn't let her get close either. He wondered if the ice cream might have smoothed the way but it was gone.

"Hi" She said as stood in the doorway. The similarities between this and the moment a few hours earlier was eerie.

"Are you okay? There are two cop cars outside."

"How am I supposed to stay away from you if you won't stay away from me? What are you doing here?"

"I pushed you away to protect you. Then I realized that I hurt you. I was a jerk before the island and now I'm just a damaged jerk."

"You've been through something and everyone's jumping on you. Maybe you should just take some time."

"I...yeah. Did you hear that?"

"What?"

Oliver pushed past her hoping she would stay near the door. She didn't, following him through the apartment. He grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and approached the window.

"There's someone on the fire escape." The man burst through the window just as Oliver realized Laurel was right behind him. Grabbing her he rushed for the front door but a man had already burst through it. He didn't have time to worry about Mr. Diggle. Another guy came bursting through the bedroom window and Oliver backed Laurel up against the wall.

He barely had time to think when Diggle burst through the door. He itched to rush in and end the fight with the female attacker but he stood back holding his act together. Finally he couldn't help but disarm her by throwing the knife. She turned and glared at him before running away. Assuring Diggle was easy but Laurel was another matter.

* * *

"Freeze! Twitch and you're dead." Oliver froze. He watched Detective Lance come towards him, brandishing his weapon. He breathed slowly to calm his heart. He hadn't expected China White to still be with Somers. He had thought the Triad would cut ties with him as Laurel circled closer to nailing Somers for murder. It wasn't like them to stay attached.

"Bow down! Hands up!"

He breathed and made his move. The recorder was thrown, knocking into Lance's hand and throwing off his focus. He jumped the building listening as Lance retrieved the confession. It was over. Martin Somers was finished and he could focus on the next piece of his life. It was time to deal with his mother.

' _Ms. Smoak was right. I can't be the Oliver my mother wants me to be and keep the promise I made to my father. I have to be the person I need them to see me as.'_

* * *

"Ms. Smoak!" he exclaimed. He downed the glass of champagne and nearly crashed into her. He wasn't drunk but it certainly helped sell it."

"Mr. Queen! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Oliver...Ollie...that's my name." he stumbled. "I'm just here to give my speech and...be myself."

"Are you drunk?" She patted his shoulder, straightening his tie absent-mindedly. "There are so many reporters. You should get a cup of coffee."

"With you? Anything."

"Oliver they're ready for you," Walter steered him towards the podium, introducing him. Oliver caught a glimpse of Laurel and Tommy's expectant faces. Everyone wanted him to be Robert Queen. He couldn't be.

"My legacy," he rambled. "Thanks for warming them up Walt. Ow...stupid shovel."

He could see Ms. Smoak's horrified face as he dropped the shovel. It clattered noisily to the ground.

"Some of you may not know me. Who are we kidding? You all know who I am. I'm Oliver Queen. I was rescued from that island. Well and I'm Robby's son. But Walter, my new dad, is right. I'm not much of a legacy."

"Oliver," his mother whispered.

"I was supposed to come here and take my right...rightful place at the company. But I'm not him. I'm me and I never will be him. So just leave me alone."

He stumbled off the stage, crashing into a waiter and sending a tray of drinks crashing to the ground. He made his way to the door, stumbling inside until he could let go of the act. He glanced back but no one was watching. A slow applause distracted him.

"That was some act."

"Ms. Smoak," he said surprised. She looked angry and he could see the slight flush to her cheeks. "I thought maybe you would...I don't know. Not be like this."

"Did I disappoint you?"

"How could you? I'm not anyone of importance to you. I hope you get what you wanted Mr. Queen. I doubt they'll ask you for anything for a long time."

She stomped away and he watched her, wondering if maybe he'd made a mistake. He couldn't have his family riding him about joining the company but he might have lost something more valuable. Straightening he turned towards the elevators. He had bigger problems to handle.

"You ready Sir?"

"Yes Dig."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	3. Gotcha (1.03)

_ To my family, I am the brother and son who just returned home after being lost at sea 5 years ago. They don’t know I came back with a mission, to bring justice to our city, and they never can. The men and women I’ve targeted are dangerous, corrupt, a virulent cancer. Cancers like James Holder, whose corporation put defective smoke detectors in low-income housing in the Glades. There have been many fires and too many funerals. But cancers can be fought and conquered. All it takes is a surgeon and the right instrument. _

 

James Holder is much too confident. Armed with a cell phone and a bathrobe, he clearly doesn’t see the vigilante as much of a threat. He’s confident in his ability to handle one man armed with a bow and arrow. He’s cocky in a way Oliver forgot men could be. He’s so sure he can handle this threat and Oliver knows one move is all it takes for him to end Mr. Holder.

 

The guns drop to the ground as Mr. Holder continues to talk about his armed guards. Mr. Holder’s eyes widen in fear, an emotion Oliver is more than familiar with. He threatens him, asking questions, showing him fear. It only takes a second, one moment, and Mr. Holder is shot. The body floats in the pool as Oliver ducks behind a pillar. The bullets are being fired from a distance and Oliver knows his arrows will never reach the shooter. All he can do is head back to his safehouse and deal with the bullet wound.

 

He never expects poison. He’s getting sloppy. As the poison takes its effect he rushes to the crate, rips open the bag containing an antidote and hopes he was in time. If not he won’t be found for days. He can’t stop now. He’s only getting started.

* * *

 

When he manages to pull himself off the ground of the safehouse he realizes he’s been gone too long. His family will worry and they’ll have questions. For a moment he worries about the police presence at the manor, worried the press will be after ‘missing Oliver Queen’. The media presence has started to die down and he can’t afford to be hounded much longer. He’ll slip and someone will figure it out. 

 

Inside, Mr. Diggle waits, overseeing the police presence. It’s not about him. It’s Thea.

 

“Is she okay?”

 

“The cops brought her home. Her and some of her friends broke into a store, tried on some dresses. Lit up the breathalyzer like a Christmas tree.”

 

She looks horrible. Oliver can see the mascara running and the disgruntled look on her face. He remembers that face. The inconvenience of the cops bringing you home when you were having fun. Feeling like you are on top of the world because your last name is Queen.

 

“So how was your evening sir?”

 

“You mean after I said I had to go to the bathroom at dinner and never came back?”

“I guess from now on I’ll be watching you pee, sir.”

 

Oliver smiles and turns to his family. Moira and Walter are already trying to usher the cops out of the room and Oliver is already calculating the money it will cost to pay off the store. Raisa is at his back, a tray of coffee ready to be offered. She offers him a quick smile and an assessing gaze. He knows he won’t fool her. He wasn’t with a girl last night and her eyes zero in on the drop of blood on his sweater. Her frown is more than enough.

 

She gestures to it and Oliver sighs noticing he’ll be asked about the blood soon enough. His undershirt will need to be replaced before she notices the bullet wound. The sweater can be explained. The wound...not so much.

 

“Last time it was public intoxication, this time breaking and entering. My, how we are moving up in the criminal world,” Moira remarks. Oliver watches the exchange noticing how little Thea cares. She’s defensive, throwing the seriousness back at their mother with abandon. With the secured day off, Thea flounces out of the room, barely swaying in her slight intoxication. Oliver recognizes that walk.

 

“She’s testing you.”

 

“Yes and who did she learn that from?”  _ Touche _ he thinks. It’s been five years but he remembers. He had been, still was a disappointment. 

 

“Mom. When I was her age you and dad let me get away with murder. Looking back I could have used less space and more parenting.” 

 

He doesn’t stay to hear her response. He was lucky she hasn’t brought up the fiasco at the Applied Sciences dedication. He knows it’s coming but he doesn’t have the time. He needs to retreat his wound and focus on the shooter. He can’t have another vigilante running around. The bullets fired weren’t surgical. The shooter cared little who was struck in the shooting of Mr. Holder.

 

Curare is a rare poison he’s only encountered briefly. He recognizes the danger and considers his options. A gunman using curare-laced bullets isn’t common. He should be known in various databases. A quick search, a few keystrokes and he’s got a name. Deadshot. He takes a moment and considers ARGUS but Amanda and him are not speaking currently and he doesn’t want to put himself back on her radar. 

* * *

 

He doesn’t expect Tommy to have anything constructive to offer about the club. He knows it’s just going to be Tommy joking about sex and alcohol but sometimes Oliver needs it. He needs to remember what it was like to be normal even though his mind is running through windows and exits, targets, blindspots, etc. He knows he’s assessing threats his bodyguard isn’t even considering. If he wanted to attack, he would choose a warehouse like this. No one in the Glades would come to his aid. No one ever did here.

 

Oliver joked about the girls he’d have in the office but it fell flat on his ears. This was only a cover. He didn’t need to worry about the real issues. He needed it to be popular enough to camouflage his nighttime activities. Otherwise his manager could handle the details.

 

He can tell by Diggle’s expression, he’s not amused. Both of the men are probably remembering his drunken spectacle from a few days ago and wondering why running a club is more appealing than taking a desk job at QC. This one will require some work, the other not so much. Oliver doesn’t have time to explain it. 

 

The invitation to visit Max Fuller’s club comes as a surprise. He had plans for the evening. He needs to investigate Deadshot but instead he’s going to be stuck at a club. It’s only a matter of time before Max Fuller notices him. He can take the hit but it’s hard straddling the line between Oliver Queen and the vigilante. For the first time he wonders if he made a mistake coming home. He could have been the vigilante without Oliver Queen. The man under the hood doesn’t matter.

 

“So what do you think?” he asks Diggle, needing to distract himself. Diggle doesn’t want to answer which makes Oliver even more curious. Diggle has a unique perspective Oliver rarely hears.

 

“Speak freely Diggle, please.”

 

“Well this is the Glades right?” he asks. “Your rich white friends wouldn’t come to this neighborhood on a bet.”

 

“Yes but I’m Oliver Queen, right? If I open a club here people will come just to see the man who survived five years on an island. Plus I’m the trainwreck everyone can’t wait to see.”

 

“No one who lives here would see a dime of the money.” Diggle’s right. It’s not really Oliver’s concern. He’s not here to provide welfare or charity to the people of the Glades. His job is on a much bigger scale. He wants to get rid of corruption and evil in his city.

 

“If the business is successful, we’ll gentrify.”

 

“Ah...there it is. The white knight comes home to save his city. You know why white knights almost always fail in the real world?”

 

“Why Diggle?”

 

“Because they do it alone. No help from anybody.”

 

“Wow. You really don’t think highly of me.”

 

“Actually, sir I have a very high regard for how perceptive you are.” Diggle turns then, leaving Oliver in the large open space. He turns looking over his club, considering. This needs to work. He needs the cover story but Diggle is right. He’s going to need help with this. It will give him an alibi but he’ll need to figure out how to mask his downstairs base.

* * *

 

Deadshot is a problem. Oliver knows the shooter is probably still in town. He’s wanted all over the world but he just knows Deadshot isn’t done in Starling City. Every other city hit has at least two dead by the end of Deadshot’s visit. He finds the shell and can’t believe his luck. He had thought it might be gone by now, obscured by the Glades. Even luckier the trail leads to the Bratva. That’s one organization he can handle. His reputation will get him answers.

 

Even though his reputation will be enough he knows it is only a matter of time before the Starling City Bratva recognizes him. He needs to fly under the radar longer. He doesn’t want them approaching him in his private life. He has no soldiers here to work for him and must be careful. He needs information, not trouble.

 

It is easier than expected to slip back into his Bratva persona. It hasn’t been that long but he had sworn that time was behind him. Somehow the darkness slips in and he is thrown back to his time working for them. He knows they will check and his exploits will become known to local members. The mechanic thinks he’s enough to threaten him, but Oliver knows it would not be difficult to handle the local group. One word from Russia and he would control them all.

 

He doesn’t glance back at the auto shop once he’s cleared the door. He knows they’ll be watching him until he gets a few blocks away. His best bet is to head home and get ready for a night out with Tommy. They’ll follow him home and figure out his identity if they don’t already know. He’ll need time to contact Anatoly and smooth his way with Leonov.

* * *

  
  


The club is loud and overdone. Oliver knows this is what he should go for in his own club but he feels something slightly more subtle will be better. He wants respectable should the cops come investigating. They will. He knows it's only a matter of time before drugs or violence occurs in his club. Ditching Diggle is a bonus. He respects the man to a point but he can’t have him breathing down his neck all night.

 

Within ten minutes he’s seen fifteen people who either have or have done drugs in the last thirty minutes. At least five are underage and at least four are members of the Triad. Two of them have weapons. The exits are blocked by bouncers and guards and there are no windows on the main floor. There is lighting that could be used to escape but he hopes it doesn’t come to that. Anatoly was unavailable earlier and the Leonov might choose to take silence as a negative response.

“Big Brother!” Thea crashes into him while Tommy and Laurel watch. He didn’t expect either of them to be there. She’s clearly drunk, maybe drugged and she doesn’t seem to care. It’s as though she expects him to be the same kid he was five years ago, laugh it off and join in the fun. He sees three different men watching her, their eyes on her hips and her legs. 

 

“I thought you were grounded.”

 

“I am and thanks for that. Mom’s only doing this because of you.”

 

“You’re done for the night.” His anger is simmering already and he wishes he had let Dig follow him into the club. It would be easy to get Dig to escort her out. 

 

His options are limited. He can give her the worried big brother speech. He knows she’ll blow it off. He would have blown it off when he was her age. He had blown off similar speeches from a variety of people. She doesn’t care. Thea’s on a dangerous path and he knows that while he can save his city, Thea might be lost in the shuffle.

 

He can see it on her face when he brings up her friends. She’s about to be hurtful. She had the same look on her face she had at his welcome home party. Laurel and Tommy look even more worried and he can see. He knows what secret is going to be revealed. Even though he knew, for some reason not feeling anything shocks him more. He really doesn’t care about Tommy and Laurel. Why is that?

 

While Thea continues to spill the beans, Oliver’s mind whirls. Why doesn’t he care? He never expected to find anything with Laurel again. After Sara...he knew he had to get back to apologize to Laurel and try to make things right. But now...he doesn’t care about her that way. It’s freeing. Expectations will be slashed but he’s at peace with it.

 

“You and me, we’re done for the night.” He knows it’s a bad move the second he grabs her arm. She’s not coming with him. Thea fights back, slipping out of his grasp and he lets her. 

 

“You’re not my father. You’re barely my brother!” she sneers as she brushes past him. He didn’t think Speedy would be the one to hurt so much. He can feel the air closing in around him but Tommy and Laurel are watching him. Before he can begin to do anything, Max Fuller is there.

 

Back then Max Fuller would have worried him. The muscle would have worried him. Now he knows he’ll take the hit. He feels terrible and would rather get punched then be left with time to think about Thea or the gunman he hasn’t been hunting.

 

Tommy will take the hit too but Oliver can make sure Tommy goes down fast. He’ll take the brunt. He’s already ready. He can feel his blood thrumming in his veins. Ever since the darkness came into his life, he recognizes this moment. The feeling of adrenaline coursing through him. A fight...a hit...oblivion. It’s right there.

It’s over before it begins. Laurel gets involved and normally he would be thankful to get out of this without taking the beating, he’s itching for a fight. He wants to use the moment with Laurel to say he’s okay with Laurel and Tommy but he doesn’t even get that chance. Laurel shuts him down and more than ever he feels the calling. He will patrol tonight. It’s just a matter of ditching Tommy. Oliver Queen has had enough time tonight. The vigilante needs air.

* * *

 

Instead Oliver finds Diggle waiting and the trio set off for food. Tommy is rambling on and on about Max Fuller. He wants to apologize for Laurel but Oliver doesn’t want to waste the time. He’s still trying to figure out why it doesn’t matter to him. Sure he’s known for awhile but it should still matter. He always thought he’d marry Laurel.

 

Dig drops them off at a booth while he heads to talk to the sister-in-law Oliver just learned about. Diggle has a family. Why that surprises him, he doesn’t know. Everyone has a family somewhere but Diggle always seems to be at the Queen Mansion. He doesn’t talk about himself at all and maybe that is even more telling.

 

Diggle is in love with her much like Tommy is in love with Laurel. It’s obvious to anyone but he knows neither is willing to admit it. Oliver can play this lightly and give Tommy some solace. Tommy didn’t mean to hurt him and even though it doesn’t hurt, Oliver knows it should.

 

Leonov interrupts and Oliver welcomes the distraction. It’s easy to tell Tommy it’s some girl. No one has caught on to Oliver being different...except Ms. Smoak. He’s been thinking about and her anger. She wasn’t disappointed in him. She was angry. He’s used to disappointment. It’s the anger that surprises him. She cares.

 

“I checked out.” It’s not a question. He listens to the discussion. Floyd Lawton. Deadshot. Assassin. He knows what that is like. His job title was never assassin but torture? Abduction? He knows those words. He still breathes them. He offers Leonov no reassurances. He has no intention of using the Bratva for this but he’d rather keep them on their toes.

 

Tommy and Diggle are easy to ditch. Tommy is in the bathroom, Diggle chatting up his sister-in-law. He’s blocks away before they notice.

* * *

 

Lawton’s computer is damaged beyond his skill. He stares at the bullet-ridden screen willing it to connect to his own set-up. He knows enough about computers to get by but even this is beyond him. He pulls up the employee portal of QC and looks through it to find the name he wants.

 

_ Smoak. Comma. Felicity. _

 

Her name whispers over him. Felicity. 19th floor. Office 25C. She warrants an office. Interesting. 

 

He sees Diggle’s glare over his disappearance the night before. He shrugs it off for the most part directing Diggle to QC. He doesn’t have time to discuss where he was. Tommy most likely covered with the Russian model but he knows Diggle probably didn’t buy it.

 

The elevator is empty and he finds himself smiling as he presses the number 19. She might not be happy to see him. Will she fluster in anger again? He becomes contemplative as he wonders why he cares. He doesn’t have time for this. He doesn’t have time to think about women. He needs to stop Deadshot before another person is killed. He just needs the target.

 

Her office is easy to find. It’s the furthest one from the elevator. She’s past all the large offices and when the hallway curves he realizes she probably has a small window if at all. She’s important enough to get an office but she’s not high-up in any hierarchy. Surprisingly enough it’s not a private office. She has office mates but they’re away and Oliver can’t help but watch her. She’s working hard, switching from the computer to a notepad. She’s chewing on the end of her red pen as she thinks.

 

“Felicity Smoak.” It’s not a question. She’s startled and turns to face him, shock all over her face. “Hi.”

 

“Mr. Queen. I...what are you doing here?”

 

“I need your help.” He can see it on her face. She doesn’t want to have this conversation. It’s a battle. Does she help the heir to QC or does she hold onto her anger?

 

“The bar is on the ground floor in the restaurant,” she manages.

 

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t have time to create a charity or build a playground. They needed to get the point.”

 

“I don’t like lies Mr. Queen. They’re always hurtful no matter the intention.” She sighs though and he can see her acceptance. “What can I do for you?”

 

“I need help with my computer and you were the first person I thought of.”

 

“Lucky me,” she mumbles. “Mr. Queen?”

 

“Mr. Queen was my father. I’d rather you call me Oliver.”

 

“I’m not comfortable with that.” She gestures for him to show her the computer or direct her to it. He tries to play it off with her but her eyes brook no argument. Computer or go. It takes one look at the computer and he can see her mind working. Bullet holes. He couldn’t hide those.

 

“I was at my coffee shop and I spilled a latte on it.” She smiles at that remembering their earlier conversation. Coffee is always getting spilled on computers in her line of work.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“These look like bullet holes.”

 

“My coffee shop is in a really bad neighborhood.” He can see the indecision on her face. He’s lying to her and she hates lies. She taps her pen a few times and looks at the computer. It’s a mystery and she must like those. “If there is anything that you can salvage from it, I’d really appreciate it.”

 

“Uh huh.” He watches as she hooks it up to her computer. At first it’s all simple and he follows it easily enough. Sometime around the time he drags a chair over next to her, he realizes he’s lost the flow. She’s typing fast. She’s hitting key combinations he’s never seen. She’s good at this.

 

He catches her smile in the middle of fiddling and he feels his own smile. He leans back and relaxes as she works. She’s focused entirely on her project. It’s solitude but it’s not lonely. He can hear the noises around the office as others discuss weekend plans or talk about work. He lets the noise wash over him as her keystrokes lull him into a daydream. He hasn’t had those in years and it takes him by surprise.

 

“I think I got it,” she says finally. “They’re blueprints.”

 

“Of what?” He leaned forward and caught her questioning gaze. Right this was supposed to be his laptop. 

 

“The exchange building,” she frowned at his confused look. “It’s where the auction is taking place for Unidac Industries.”

 

“Never heard of it.”

 

“Wait I thought this was your laptop.”

 

“Yes.” He knows another question is coming. Her red pen rolls onto the floor but neither move to get it.

 

“Look I don’t want to get in the middle of some Shakespearean family drama thing,” she finally says. At his confused look she continues, “Mr. Steele marrying your Mom.Claudius, Gertrude...Hamlet?!”

 

“I didn’t study Shakespeare at any of the four schools I dropped out of.” She sighs but he gets the point. This is corporate espionage possibly and she’s worried about herself. 

 

“Mr. Steele is trying to buy Unidac Industries and you have a company computer associated with one of the guys he’s competing against.”

 

“Floyd Lawton.” 

 

“No. Warren Patel.” She gestures to the name in the corner and Oliver realizes he hasn’t been paying attention. She’s smart and she’s not going to accept this. She’s looking at him for an explanation and he doesn’t have one. “Who’s Floyd Lawton?”

 

“An employee of Mr. Patel evidently.” She glances back at the computer but she’s all he sees. He doesn’t have time for this. The auction is in a few hours but he feels calmer than he has in days. He uses the time he has to study the blueprints. Felicity lets him, busying herself with a stack of requests. Her hair swishes across her back as she looks between her stacks and Oliver is distracted. It would be easy to pursue her. Well not easy because he doesn’t think she’s the type to fall into anyone’s arms easily. He could let himself be distracted by her. Floyd Lawton is a problem and he’s not sure of the target.

 

It is harder than he expects to get up and say goodbye to her. She watches him as he unplugs the computer and he struggles with words.

 

“Be careful with those lattes,” she finally says when it is clear he’s at a loss. “You might want to find a better coffee spot.”

 

“Felicity.”

 

“Mr. Queen.”

* * *

 

He realized as he left QC he would need help. There was no way to guard all the possibilities alone. He wouldn’t even be armed inside the building. He needed help and the police were his best bet. Detective Lance hated him but he was a good cop...an honest cop. He would do.

 

The auction is sedate. It would be. Oliver glances around the high windows, considering options. Lawton could attack from the East but the wind is against him. The West? His escape route would be hindered. The North? Depending on his target, it would be the most difficult shot. There were a lot of pillars in the way. The restless feeling rocketed through him and he spun around watching for anything out of the ordinary. Detective Lance had been barking orders for twenty minutes but no one had been sighted.

 

Patel was ushered out of the room quickly but Oliver’s gaze was on anything else. Patel wasn’t the issue. There were at least seven targets in the room alone and he wasn’t aware if anyone else was bidding. 

 

After speaking to Lance, Oliver still felt jittery. Lawton was going to make his move and he knew the police wouldn’t be enough. Lawton was going to kill someone before he could react. He could only hope the person would survive.

 

“Dig. Got your eyes open?”

 

“That’s what I’m here for sir. That and answering patronizing questions.”

 

“This guy’s out of time.” Oliver can feel the anxiety building. Lawton could hit any of them. “If he’s going to do something, it’s going to happen before the auction.”

 

“Sir?”

 

“I heard the story on the radio.” Dig doesn’t buy that explanation and for once Oliver doesn’t care. He surprised himself by confiding in Diggle. He’s alone in this. He needs to remember that.

 

Before he can even consider the implications of that discussion Walter is tugging him aside. Walter won’t leave and sees no immediate threat. Moira and Thea are both attended and Moira wouldn’t risk Thea if she was worried. The reveal is like a blow. Thea is there. Unprotected. Before he can calm himself he’s motioning for Diggle. His family needs to be taken out of the room. They need to be safe so he can focus on Lawton.

 

The gunshot is shocking and Oliver grabs Thea. Diggle has Moira but Oliver’s focus is on Diggle getting them to safety. He knows he’ll make sure they’re safe. The suit is where he left it. The shooter is still firing. The damage is being done and many of the bidders will be killed in that onslaught.

 

Lawton is good. He’s one of the best Oliver has faced. He’s military at the least with possible outside training. Lawton hits him where the bullet wound is still healing on his arm. The discussion turns quickly to assassination versus protecting the city. Right vs. Wrong. Innocence vs. guilt. He knows Deadshot is down. Like the shooter, he rarely misses.

 

Diggle groans and Oliver turns, realizing his bodyguard has been hit. He only has a matter of time. The antidote is at the safehouse and Diggle might have been shot multiple times. Oliver’s own wound was his arm. He had an hour or so before the effects set in. Diggle’s is closer to his heart. He has minutes. His body nearly gives out on the stairs. The antidote might be too late but Oliver can only hope he’s’ in time. He won’t lose a soldier to his crusade. He has a choice. Reveal himself or let Diggle die. There is no choice.

 

He can see the confusion on Dig’s face when he realizes what he’s seeing. The vigilante without his hood is simply Oliver Queen. 

 

“Hey.”

* * *

 

Across town Felicity Smoak is arriving home from work. Her route home had been a mess because of the shooting at the Exchange Building. A normal thirty minute commute took nearly two hours and she was in no mood for anything but a Big Belly Burger. 

 

She unlocks her door and sighs at the mess she’d left the night before. She slips her feet out of each shoe, enjoying the feel of flat ground beneath her. Her purse puddles to the floor and she finds she just couldn’t care. Her coat joins the pile and she moves into the living room. She normally would sit down on the couch, flip on the TV and enjoy dinner but tonight she was a woman on a mission.

 

She sweeps past the mess and makes it to the closed door of what was supposed to be a guest room. She’d known the moment she saw the room it would never house anything close to a guest bed. Plus who was going to visit her. She never invited her mother and that was the only person she would imagine inviting. Her personal life was practically non-existent. 

 

Her empty hand fell on the doorknob and she had a sudden thought of Oliver Queen in her living room. Mr. Queen. He had been at home there and while the surprise had been there, she’d been oddly comfortable with him there. It was dangerous thinking about him. He was a Queen and even if he was interested, it would only be brief. No matter how much he had changed, he was still Oliver Queen. It wouldn’t do to have unrealistic expectations. She had a feeling it would be so easy to fall in love with him.

 

She shakes it off, opening the door and heading for her favorite chair in the whole apartment. She situates herself and dumps out her dinner on the top paper plate in the pile she keeps there for nights like these. Her computer hums to life and she quickly taps out the three things she wants to view, one on each screen.

 

The left screen shows her the Interpol report of Deadshot. She reads over the details, noticing he was now listed as Deceased. Her eyes slide to the right screen and she looks over the reports mentioning the vigilante, the arrows recovered at the scene by the police, and the casualty list. Finally the center screen. She watches what she expects to see and leans back.

 

There had been no latte. No coffee shop. There had only been Oliver Queen, Starling City’s vigilante.

 

The computer screen shows what she expects but on some level she’s still surprised. Mr. Queen is retrieving a duffel bag from a trash can. Sure we hasn’t holding a bow and wearing a hood but it is enough.

  
“Gotcha Mr. Queen”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. So Felicity suspects. Don't worry she doesn't actually find out until chapter 14. Stuff happens first.


	4. Unexpected (1.04)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish. To use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

Oliver watched the antidote work, or hopefully work. Diggle seemed to be a strong guy but poison was unpredictable. He’d seen others fall to less. Death was indiscriminate and after the amount of death Oliver had seen, he knew it would be nothing for a man to fall.

 

He couldn’t predict how Diggle would react. Would he accept the reveal? Would he panic? Oliver couldn’t afford to be outed so soon. His mind left the man to heal as he ran over various programs. The traffic cams winked behind him looking for anything he should be aware of. His mind was heavy when his computer flagged Deadshot. The police were gathering too much evidence. It was only a matter of time before someone got close.

 

Diggle gasps, waking up. Oliver sighed knowing it meant he would survive.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Oliver? You...you’re the vigilante.” Diggle goes to punch him but Oliver takes him down quickly. Anger he understands. Fear he understands. It would have been calm acceptance that threw him. When faced with a reveal like this, the natural reaction was an extreme.

 

“You’re safe. I could have taken you anywhere. I brought you here.” He needed to understand Oliver meant him no harm. It would have been nothing to let Diggle die in that building. No one would have questioned the death. Taken out in the line of duty. 

 

“You lost your mind on that island,” Diggle gasps.

 

“Found a couple things along the way.”

 

“Like what archery classes?!” 

 

“Clarity. The city is dying Dig. The city is being poisoned by a criminal elite who sees nothing wrong with stepping on everyone else. Someone has to do something.”

 

“You’re going to do this? All by your lonesome?”

 

“If I have to. I want you to join me. You’re perfect. Special Forces. Soldier.”

 

“Yeah well you’re not a soldier Oliver. You’re just a criminal and a murderer.” Diggle scoffs and turns from him. He never hears Oliver’s response.

 

“I know what it means to take orders.” Oliver turns around, and goes back to his post. His computer hums as more and more alerts sound mentioning the vigilante. He knows he’s gaining ground but tonight he’s tired. He’s more tired than he has been since he came home. He’s not sure he can do this alone.

* * *

 

Laurel’s waiting for him when he gets home. He’s not sure why. He hasn’t thought of her tonight while in danger. It used to be he carried her memory around like a talisman. Now he feels removed from her. Somehow coming home has closed the door there, ending a chapter. He is beginning to feel that way about all of his old friends and family. 

 

“What are you doing here?” He knows he sounds harsh. His patience is shot and he really can’t do this right now. He just wants to grab a few hours of sleep and wonder if the police will be waiting for him when Diggle talks. He didn’t bother checking to see where he went. He was either going to keep the secret or tell and the only way to stop him was to kill him.

 

“I heard about the shooting. I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 

“You did?”

 

“I did. I got here and found a family terrified for your safety. You are so self-centered. You think that people don’t care about you? I might have made peace with your selfishness years ago Oliver but your mother? Thea? They don’t deserve that.”

 

“Laurel do you understand what it’s like to be alone for five years?” Oliver finally answers. He doesn’t have time to be berated or told he’s selfish. Maybe he is but he’s not going to listen to it time and time again. “For the first while all you want to do is talk to someone. Ask someone for help. After years of silence it becomes the last thing you think about Laurel.”

 

“Oliver…”

 

“I took my bodyguard to the hospital. He was shot twice by poison-laced bullets. I’m sorry if I should have left his side to call my family but that man took bullets meant for me and I wasn’t going to leave him there.”

 

“Oliver.”

 

“Goodnight Laurel. Sorry if I’m not in the mood for a lecture. Thank you for coming but goodnight.”

 

“That was harsh.” Thea came to his side and touched his shoulder. “I knew you were okay.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call Speedy.” She hugs him and for a moment the raging pressure behind his eyes dies down and he’s okay again.

 

“Is Mr. Diggle okay?”

 

“I think so. He went home.”

 

“Laurel was out of line Ollie.”

 

“Goodnight Speedy.” He’s halfway up the steps before he hears her. Thea is standing on the bottom step looking up at him.

 

“I saw your face Oliver. When the man fired the first shot. No one who saw your face would think you’re selfish.”

 

Oliver nods and heads up to bed. His mind is tired and he can’t take anymore discussion. His bed seems large and unwelcoming. He considers the floor absently but knows his mother will check on him at some point. If she finds him there, she’ll wake him. She’ll think something’s wrong.

 

Sleep does claim him but it’s restless. He’s remembering Yao Fei and his first nights on the island. He remembers the cold and the brutal reality he found himself in. It would have been so easy to end himself. He never considered himself strong and he thought he would crack under the hopelessness.

 

He wakes up gasping, his bed slick with sweat. He shivers for a moment grasping for something. His hands close over nothing. He brings his knees up and wraps his arms around them. The tears are unwelcome and he is frustrated by them. He thought he was done with tears. 

 

He doesn’t even remember going to his motorcycle or the feel of the air whipping around his head. He’s driving blindly, hoping to find solace wherever he can. He knows he needs to arrive home before his family wakes up but they’re nothing in his mind. His brain screams in pain and he’s remembering the bloodshed, the first kill, the first betrayal. It’s all right there. People will say it happened years ago but for Oliver it’s right now.

 

He doesn’t even realize where he is at first. Scaling the fire escape is easy. He sits down by the wall and breathes. Through the window he can see her. She’s sleeping under quilts and among pillows. He didn’t even realize he wanted to see her. Felicity rolls fitfully to her side, facing away from him and he sighs. Hidden in the shadows, no one will see him. He doesn’t need to see her. Being close is enough.

 

He can feel the edginess drifting away as he presses his back against the brick. This is enough. He knows he’s dangerous. He shouldn’t be near her but she calms him. She wants nothing of him and it’s refreshing when everyone around him is judging him and expecting him to be something. For a few minutes it all bleeds away. 

 

Dawn breaks while he’s riding home. He never looked in on her again. It would be wrong to take advantage. He simply rested until he could breathe again. Scaling the fire escape was easy and he made sure to not be seen. He didn’t want her to know he’d been there. Best to leave her alone.

* * *

 

He finds Thea sitting downstairs eating chips. The television flashes with grisly news stories. She barely notices him entering the house. He joins her knowing sleep will never come.

 

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m not going to ask where you were.”

 

“Good. I’m sor--”

 

“Don’t. You need to be alone sometimes. I get it. You were alone for five years Ollie.” She smiles at him and tries to understand but he knows she doesn’t. Not really. “They’re talking about Peter Declan.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Right...he killed his wife in their baby’s room. Psycho. So why couldn’t you sleep?”

 

“Nightmare.”

 

“About?” He weighs his options. He could lie but she’d know. He could tell the truth but she’d make it a thing. 

 

“The island. Laurel. Pain.”

 

“If you want Laurel to forgive you just go after her,” Thea says. “Look she came over here. She still cares about you.”

 

“I…” Oliver thinks quickly and remembers the calm from before. “There’s someone else.”

 

“Someone…? Ollie! Who?”

 

“You don’t know her,” he says. “I can’t be with her. It would be wrong to pretend with Laurel.”

 

“Ollie. You made mistakes in your past but if this girl can make you happy, you should go for it.” Thea offers. 

 

“I’m not the same person I was Thea. I don’t even know who I am right now.” Thea’s watching him and thinking. He can feel her mind whirling as she tries to be supportive but she’s still upset with him. 

 

“Ollie. You smiled for real.”

 

“Hmm?” He turns to her confused. She’s smiling at him sadly. The bowl of chips forgotten at her side.

 

“You haven’t smiled since you’ve been home. Not really. It’s always missing something. But now...just now when you thought of your mystery woman, you smiled. “Maybe she will like your new self.”

* * *

 

Hours later he heads downstairs. Thea went to bed right after giving him some thinking to do. He cleaned up after her but his mind still raced with the concept of her. He can’t pursue her. Diggle is right. He is a criminal and a murderer. He won’t risk anyone in his new life. 

 

His mother is cold this morning which he expects. He didn’t let her know he was okay. He just came home and then was probably gone when she checked on him. She’ll get over it in time.

 

“We have a visitor?” The man standing behind her looks like a poor imitation of a bodyguard. He’s standing like Diggle but he’s not assessing. This man would not be fast enough to save anyone from a bullet. 

 

“Mr. Diggle’s replacement.”

 

“Replacement?” He had hoped Diggle would see reason. Diggle would realize what he’s doing is good for the city. He had hoped Diggle would join him and together they could do so much more. Instead he has someone out there who knows his secret and is a liability. 

 

“Yes. He tendered his resignation this morning.” This explains her anger. She’d gotten over the shooting. This was the fact Diggle quit.

 

“Did he say why?”

 

“He said he didn’t approve of the ways you spend your evenings especially with you always ditching him.”

 

_ Fair enough. _ Oliver knows there is nothing he can do about this now. He can talk to Diggle later. Instead he decides to accept it. This one will be far easier to ditch.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Mr. Queen. I’m Rob Scott.”

 

“That’s firm grip you have there Rob.”

 

“Five years SWAT with Monument Point.”

 

Monument Point. That’s a place Oliver hasn’t heard of in years. Waller liked mentioning the military base there when she was lecturing. How he’d never last five minutes there. He didn’t realize she had been joking. The news story continued in the background and he glanced over when he heard the name Jason Brodeur. That name was on his list.

 

“Say Rob, I want to go into town. Would you go get the car?”

 

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer keeping you in my sights at all times. I’ve been told of your tendency to ditch your bodyguard.”

 

“We’re 20 miles from town Rob. If you don’t drive me how will I get there?”

 

“Right sir.” Moira gives Oliver a look the moment Rob has left the room. She knows he’s going to ditch Rob and weirdly enough she seems fine with it. She even smiles wondering how long Mr. Scott will last at this job. Oliver’s motorcycle roars to life and she hears Mr. Scott yelling after him.

 

“Oh Raisa?”

 

“Yes. Mrs. Queen?”

 

“You might as well keep the number for the security firm out. I think we may need a new man tomorrow.”

 

“Yes Mrs. Queen. Mr. Oliver does not like to be cooped up.”

 

“No. He certainly doesn’t.”

* * *

 

_ They say Peter Declan murdered his wife in cold blood. He had no alibi, and all the evidence pointed toward him. He was tried, convicted, and sentenced to death. An open-and-shut case, except for one thing. Declan’s wife Camille worked for Jason Brodeur. Jason Brodeur is on the list. Declan has always claimed he was innocent and I think he was right. The odds are good that Brodeur is involved in this woman’s murder which means an innocent man is facing execution. He’ll need a good attorney. _

 

He knows Laurel might not be receptive meeting the Hood. It’s risky. She might react poorly and Mr. Declan needs a good lawyer. Suiting up he wonders what she would think if she knew it was Oliver Queen under the hood. Would it matter to her? Would she look at him like Diggle did? A killer? She should. It’s who he is now.

 

He can sense her fear when the lights don’t work. The window is open and she retrieves her gun. He’s careful knowing she can shoot him regardless.

 

“Hello Laurel.”

 

“You are making a mistake! My father’s a cop!” Her hand shakes as she says this and he knows if she shoots it will be an accident. She doesn’t have it in her to shoot a man. Not now anyway. Time can do strange things to people.

 

“Peter Declan is going to be executed in 48 hours and I think he’s innocent.” The voice modulator is a nice touch because Laurel doesn’t even notice it in his hand. She’s focused on the bow, not watching him at all. Good. He doesn’t want to risk her figuring it out. “Declan’s wife was going to blow the whistle on Jason Brodeur and he had her murdered.”

 

“Why me?” She asks. Her curiosity is enough to get her to lower the gun a fraction. Declan is high profile and she knows the story. His hand grasps the gun and lowers it fully. The surprise is evident on her face. She trusts him or at least...she knows he means her no harm.

 

“You’ll do anything to save the life of an innocent man Laurel. I’ve been paying attention.” He’s out the window before she turns around. He knows she’ll investigate. In a few hours her name appears on the visitor’s log at Iron Heights.

* * *

 

Oliver arrives home to find Mr. Scott in a bit of a mood. Mr. Scott follows him arguing with him about ditching his security team. Oliver doesn’t bother to comment. It hardly matters. He clears the doorway with Mr. Scott hot on his heels to find Raisa holding a white coat.

 

“Mr. Oliver. You have a visitor. In the living room.” She reaches up and pats his cheek. “Be nice.”

 

Scott follows him into the room and Oliver freezes. The man almost crashes into him. It would be comical if Oliver could think that way right now. She’s standing by the windows. Her dress is bright orange, her hair, up and away from her face. There is a flower in her hair, one bright orange flower perfectly resting against her skull. She’s beautiful and he’s frozen.

 

“Felicity,” he breathes her name and time stops. She spins around to look at him, surprised he is already here. Raisa makes an amused sound behind him. Scott steps back and presses himself against the doorframe but Oliver is only watching her. Did she wake up and see him the night before. She looks angry.

 

Her heels click against the flooring and he knows his mother would wince at the sound. She is so careful about only walking on the area rugs.

 

“Mr. Queen,” she says when she’s standing in front of him. She smells like rain. It’s weird and comforting all at once. The day is sunny but she smells like she’s been running through rain. He shakes his head to remove the image.

 

“I got your flowers,” she says finally. “My office mates think I have a secret boyfriend. It didn’t help you signed the card.”

 

“Did I cause you trouble?” He never wanted that. He only wanted to thank her for her help with Lawton. 

 

“I can handle them.” He’s sure she can. There’s a strength to her that on first look is missable. She’s not wearing her glasses and it’s distracting. Her eyes look so blue in the morning light. He feels his chest tightening and wonders how when his anxiety level is low. 

 

“Did you like them?” he manages. She looks past him to the bodyguard and sighs. “I hope you liked them.”

 

“I’ve never gotten flowers before,” she whispers. “I...thank you.”

 

“Of course.” He can hear his audience behind him but the room drops away. She looks amazing and she’s watching him. Her eyes seem to see everything and he’s worried by what she might see when she looks at him.

 

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with roses.”

 

“I saw the tiger lillies and thought of you.”

 

“I....I thought you had someone order them.”

 

“For you? Never.” She smiles shyly. 

 

“So it’s weird how that laptop made it to the police and the vigilante happened to show up,” she babbles. “Weird right? A few hours earlier we were looking at blueprints of the Exchange Building and then the Vigilante showed up.”

 

“What are you saying?” 

 

“Nothing. I just think it’s weird.” He wonders if she knows but she doesn’t seem to really care. He can feel her breath on his face and she’s staring up at him with the question hanging. Is he the vigilante? 

Her hand is on his shoulder before he can formulate a response. His hand cups her cheek and his thumb nudges where her glasses would be. He can’t do this. He can’t. He’ll hurt her and he knows it’s only a matter of time.

 

“Felicity….”

 

“Oliver…”

 

“Ollie are you here?” They break apart at the sound of Thea calling his name. She looks shell-shocked at what almost happened. She steps away and he aches to pull her back, to try and make this work. 

 

“Your sister…I should go.”

 

She’s almost to the door before he can make his mind work again. She’s heading down the steps to her car and he pauses. He needs to let her go. He needs to put this behind him. Jason Brodeur needs to be handled.

 

“Mr. Queen...thank you for the flowers,” she calls as she opens the car door. He raises his hand to wave.

 

“You called me Oliver.” Her eyes meet his but she doesn’t answer. He watches her car until it’s out of sight and he sighs. It’s for the best.

 

“Ollie?” Thea moves to stand next to him. “Who was that?”

 

“No one.”

 

“She’s the girl that makes you smile, isn’t she?”

 

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

Oliver needs to focus on Brodeur and he needs Diggle’s help. He knows it’s a long shot but there is something about the man that makes him think Diggle might change his mind. He has a feeling he’ll be at Big Belly Burger and hopes to catch him. Plus he can’t stop to think about what almost happened in his living room. He can’t think about the way her eyes darkened as he started to move towards her…

 

Scott walks in front of him and Oliver sighs at the idiocy. If it was him, he would target the back. Scott really is a liability. A fun liability but a liability. Diggle is surprised to see him. It’s clear as anything. And his sister-in-law isn’t thrilled either.

 

“Hello Diggle’s sister-in-law Carly. I’m Oliver Queen.”

 

“I know who you are.”

 

“No you don’t.” Diggle’s tone is unamused and Oliver can’t help but smile. Carly is almost as scary as Felicity. Almost.

 

“I couldn’t help but notice the distinct lack of police cars at my home. I hoped you wouldn’t turn me in. Have you considered my offer?”

 

“Offer.” He scoffs and Oliver sighs. He had hoped things would be easier.

 

“It is an offer. It’s a chance to do the kind of good that compelled you to join the military.”

 

“Please. You were born with a platinum spoon in your mouth. You spent five years on an island with no room service and suddenly you found your calling?”

 

Oliver tugs the book out of his pocket and let’s it hit the table with a thud. He hasn’t shown anyone the book and knows it doesn’t explain everything.

 

“I found this when I buried my father.”

 

“You said your father died when the boat went down.”

 

“I lied. He made it to the life raft. Shot himself in the head so I could live. I’d like to think he was trying to atone for his sins.” Silence drops over the table while Diggle glances at the pages. “I need to right the wrongs done by my family and I’m offering you the chance to right the ones done to yours.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Andy’s killer. Bullets laced with curare. Floyd Lawton. Deadshot.”

 

“Are you saying you took down Andy’s killer?”

 

“I’m saying you have a choice Diggle. You can help me help other people’s families. People in this city used to help each other. They can’t do that because these people see nothing wrong with raising themselves by stepping on other people’s throats. If the cops won’t stop it or the courts. Well it’s going to be me and maybe you.”

 

He makes his exit, a sense of drama filling him. He’s speechifying and it’s amusing. Scott probably realizes he’s gone right around the time he hits his base. The computers are searching for proof of Jason Brodeur’s involvement in Declan’s case. He’s not a hacker but he can do enough.  

* * *

 

He meets Laurel again. He knows it’s risky but he can’t do what he needs done. Only Laurel can fight for Declan in court. He can work only from the shadows.

 

“Is there a reason we can’t do this face to face?”

 

He ignores the question. He’s already risking a great deal to meet with her. She might recognize him. The sirens echo through the streets and he’s distracted by the sounds. She’s explaining the case to him, dropping in what she gathered from Declan. She thinks he’s innocent. It’s enough. 

 

“Matt Istook said he never met with Camille that day. He’s either telling the truth or he’s a very convincing liar.”

 

“He hasn’t met me.”

 

“I didn’t become a lawyer to break the law or hurt innocent people.”

 

“Matt Istook might not be innocent.”

 

“He might be. If what you are doing is right then why do you hide your face with a hood?”

 

“To protect those I care about. I made this choice. Not them.”

 

He’s flying through the air before she can respond. He needs to get to Matt Istook. His path through the city takes him past Queen Consolidated. He wonders if Felicity is still at work and if her suspicion he’s the vigilante should be worrying.

* * *

 

“I have one question. Why am I being fired? Is it because of Mr. Queen?” Felicity is enraged at the call to Mr. Steele’s office. She hadn’t expected Oliver to rat her out or her office mates to make such a big deal about the flowers.

 

“Ms. Smoak, isn’t it?” Mr. Steele is confused by her tone. She looks out the window and thinks she catches a glimpse of the Starling City vigilante. No...she’s seeing him everywhere now.

 

“I am the single most valuable member of your technical division including my so-called ‘supervisor’. Letting me go would be a major error for this company.”

 

“I agree.” Mr. Steele stands and gestures to the chair across from his desk. “That is why you are not being fired. I need you to look into something for me.”

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

“Rumors have Oliver visiting you. You managed to help him with whatever he needed and your knowledge of computers is...enterprising.”

“I was never arrested.”

 

“I’m well aware Ms. Smoak. You do, however, have a unique perspective for finding hidden corporate information.”

 

“What do you need?” A flash of her goth, hacker clothes is in her mind and a memory of her college boyfriend. She’s not that girl anymore.

 

“There is 2.6 million dollars missing. My wife states it was an investment in a start-up venture but…”

 

“You’re not sure? I’m your girl. I mean not your girl. I wasn’t...thank you for not firing me.”

 

She’s down the hall before he can respond. She breathes a sigh of relief. In her office, the flowers seem to stare at her. Her computer winks with the footage from the Exchange Building. Oliver Queen, two halves of one complicated whole or is she mistaken? Could it be a coincidence? Could Oliver Queen and the vigilante not be tied together at all? She doesn’t like coincidence but she can’t help but wonder if a man who could touch her so tenderly could also kill that easily.

* * *

 

Matt Istook is easy to handle. He’s a worm and easily threatened. Oliver expected nothing more. Istook wanted his payoff and he got it. Too bad the money had already been rerouted to a charity. He would find out when he got home but by then it wouldn’t matter. The file will clear Declan. Laurel is grateful.

 

She tries to understand him and while he would love to have validation, it’s coming from the wrong person. Laurel will do what is necessary to save Declan’s life. It’s over. 

 

At home Oliver wanders through the foyer. His eyes drift over to the white jacket hung over the hook. Felicity’s jacket. He hadn’t noticed her forgetting it earlier. His hand touches the soft material and he can’t help but smile.

 

“What is wrong with your face?” Thea rushes towards him and he’s startled. His face? 

 

“What?”

 

“There’s something weird on it. Your mouth? It’s smiling?”

 

“I considered your advice. Showing her my new self.”

 

“Mad relationship skills bro. Seriously though. The girl from earlier? She’s different from your usual…”

 

“She’s different.”

“I see that.” Thea looks thoughtful. She glances at his hand on Felicity’s coat and smiles. “Let me know if you need trendy places to propose.”

 

“It’s kind of early for that. We’re not even...I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

 

“Isn’t that kind of fun Ollie? The unexpected? Promise me you’ll introduce her when you’re sure.”

 

“Promise.”

* * *

 

 

It doesn’t work. The file isn’t enough and Laurel is ready to give up. He’s too close. He won’t lose an innocent man to the machinations of the criminals in this city. Brodeur needs to pay. If no one else will get the information then he will. A signed confession will come easy when the man is practically begging for death. He’s seen innocent man take the fall, be punished, be broken by others. He’s not going to let that happen. He’s not going to let Declan’s daughter grow up without a mother and a father.

 

Declan is a whimpering bit of slime. Oliver finds it hard to not kill the man. His silence is enough momentarily. An attack is coming for Mr. Declan. Oliver races to the prison and finds it already in chaos. The cells are open and Laurel is in the crossfire. He sees guard after guard fall as he races down each hallway. He’s camouflaged by a ski mask and a police uniform. Laurel is in hand with Mr. Declan. He can hear her fear, hear her choking. She’s still Laurel.

 

He beats the man bloody and Laurel has to pull him off. The fear strikes her then. He sees it in her eyes. He’s a monster. She won’t see him any other way. Declan is cleared but he knows he’s lost an ally. He hears her say the words he knows are true. Murderer. Monster. Unforgivable.

 

He heads back to his base and thinks. He is a monster.and he needs something he shouldn’t. The beast inside is still raging and he could take to the streets but he knows he shouldn’t. He might go too far.

* * *

 

Across town Felicity Smoak arrives home. In one hand a bag of chinese food and in the other her notes on Tempest. She saw it in Mr. Steele’s eyes. He’s not done. He’ll be back for more information and this time she’ll be ready. The lights won’t come on and she flips the switch a few times.

 

She glances around the open space noting the window is open and the curtains fluttering. She left that closed this morning. Her television and computer is in place. Nothing is missing that she can see. She finds the baseball bat where she keeps it and makes her way through the apartment checking corners. It could be nothing.

 

She swings the second she feels the presence and jumps when a hand stops the bat. Green. All she can see is green. Her eyes dart up to the hood. It droops over his eyes and she can’t see him. She could panic but something stops her. He has no bow in his hand. No arrows or quiver. He’s unarmed.

 

“I won’t hurt you Miss Smoak.” The voice modulator masks his voice and she wonders if she would recognize it or if it is just part of his costume. She lets go of the bat and he drops it. She jumps when it clatters to the floor.

 

“What do you want?” Her voice is steady and she’s thankful. She doesn’t want him to know she was scared.

 

“You’ve been looking into me.” It’s not a question. Her eyes dart to her computer space and she realizes he’s been there. The door is open and her computers are blank. 

 

“You wiped them.” The anger is irrational. She can fix it but to her it’s like going through her underwear drawer. “How dare you?”

 

“You have back-ups. I left them intact except for my information.” 

 

“How did you know?”

 

“You are not the only one who can use a computer. I don’t have your skill but I can do enough.”

 

She spins to face him again and itches to call him Oliver. How will he react? She uses his attention to let his scent wash over her. She expected dirt and trees, Oliver’s scent but this man smells like grease. He smells like the garage she takes her car to and it surprises her. Is she wrong? Are they two different men?

 

“Is that it? It will take me hours to fix my set-up.”

 

“Don’t look into me again.”

 

“Is that a threat?” His gloved hand is on her face in a near mirror of Oliver’s. The smell of leather is dizzying. Her eyes meet where she thinks his eyes are. In the shadow it’s hard to tell.

 

“It’s a request.”

 

“If I refuse?” She’s breathless and she’s not sure why. She’s not this girl. She’s not into bad boys or dangerous men. It’s always been hackers or geeks, guys she could handle. 

 

“Then I’ll come back and wipe your computers again.”

 

His breath is warm on her face and she feels a slight pressure on her neck. Her mind fizzles and she realizes he’s done something. Her last thought is the feel of his arms lifting her against him. They feel strong.

* * *

 

He stays with her longer than he should. She’ll be asleep for hours but he can’t leave her. It was easy to enter her apartment, to rifle through her things. She’s not safe here. If anyone saw him come here she could be a target. He’ll return later and fix some of the issues. Her computer is already connected to his but he expects she’ll find that surprise. She’s good. She’s far better than he is. He could use someone like her but it’s dangerous. Diggle has training. She has...a baseball bat. 

 

That shocked him. Laurel pulled a gun but her hand shook. She wouldn’t have fired. Felicity, on the other hand, she would have tried to stop him. She had fight in her. Unexpected fight.

 

He left her before dawn, tugging a blanket over her. He left a flechette as a calling card. The ride home was uneventful and forgettable. His mind was on bigger things. Diggle was still a loose end.

 

Finding Diggle in the living room by the windows shocked him again. Two different people, same place. Chances were this discussion would be just as interesting.

 

“Are you here for the bodyguard position? The new guy just quit.”

 

“Couldn’t handle you? No I’m here for the other position.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Just to be clear I’m not signing on to be a sidekick. You’re right fighting needs to be done in this city. Maybe if I join up I can help save them and you.”

 

“I’m not looking to be saved.”

 

“Maybe not but you need saving Oliver. You have no idea what war does to you. It scrapes off little pieces of your soul until you are unrecognizable.”

 

Diggle doesn’t realize it but Oliver knows this. He’s been at war for five years. He’ll tell him someday...maybe. Not today. The handshake is firm, a show of equals. Diggle isn’t going to be a sidekick but a partner. It’s a new experience. 

  
He hears Lance in the hallway and two cops are on him as Lance reads him his rights. He sees his family behind him as they stare in shock as he’s accused of being the vigilante. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Updates will probably slow-up. I had a long weekend and managed to get four chapters written. It will probably go down to 1-2 a week. We'll see.


	5. Worry (1.05)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become something else. I must become something else. _

 

_ The police think they know who I am. They think I’m the vigilante. The man in the hood terrorizing this city’s criminals. They also think they have me trapped. That I have no way out. They’re only half right. _

 

The media frenzy is expected. He isn’t surprised to discover the police had tipped the media. In fact he has a feeling Detective Lance called personally. He wants to see him ruined. Quentin Lance has a vendetta. Oliver can understand that. He understands revenge better than most. If Detective Lance wants to do this then he’ll let him. Give the man some time to deal with his anger. In the end Oliver Queen will walk free and Detective Lance will be back to square one.

 

He knows his family won’t be far behind. His mother and Walter will be contacting lawyers and rushing to his defense. He’s only been home for a few weeks and the lawyer will advise diminished capacity. He’s not crazy. It will take some maneuvering to achieve his goals.

 

Lance is determined to make him suffer for this. Handcuffed to a table Oliver can only play bored or indignant. He needs to be innocent but knows no play-acting will convince Lance. He’s guilty until the evidence proves him otherwise. The questions are silly. Lance is trying to make a point. He mentions the docks but Oliver manages confusion. The docks? 

 

He lets Lance question him, hate him. He lets him tell him what evidence had him arrested. He knew about the video footage from Felicity’s computer. He had not expected the police to pick up on it. He had an explanation but he did slip up not leaving the duffel behind. It could have cleared him. Being caught in general was the plan but he hadn’t expected it so soon.

 

His mother and stepfather barge in and Oliver tries to look harassed. It’s harder to do than expected. Moira is outraged. Her just returned son is being harassed by the cops for the second time in a few short weeks. Walter is the stern one. 

 

“I know you hate my family Detective, but I had no idea that you would go so far as to arrest my son without any grounds whatsoever!”

 

“I have grounds Mrs. Queen and I have evidence.”

 

“Well this interrogation is over until Oliver’s lawyer gets here.” Walter shuts down the discussion and waits for the door to close. “It appears Detective Lance has a personal vendetta.”

 

“Sara, his daughter, is dead because of me.” Walter barely moves at the remark and instead fiddles with his phone.

“Your lawyer should be here soon.”

 

“I want Laurel.” It’s a gamble. Oliver knows it. Laurel might say no. At the same time Laurel will unsettle Lance. She’ll be determined to prove Oliver’s innocence. She’ll never believe Oliver has it in him to be the vigilante.

 

“I think Laurel can get him off the vendetta. She was raised to do the right thing. That includes representing an innocent man.”

 

They know he’s made up his mind. There will be no other lawyer. Laurel or nothing.

* * *

 

Across town Felicity Smoak wakes with a groan. For a moment it is just another morning but then she sees it. The flechette is waiting for her. Her mind flashes back to the night before. The man in the hood was here. She bolts from the bed, rushing into the living room. The only evidence he was there was the bat lying on the floor. 

 

The computers are still blinking but now there is a post it note on the middle screen.

 

_ Sorry. _

 

She can’t bother to be angry with him. He didn’t harm her and really he just proved she was making him nervous. She had almost no evidence. Nothing that would get him arrested. He’d be under suspicion but they would need more than the video to get him.

 

While running the back-up drive, she turns to the small television and flicks it on. Commercials. Figures.

 

“Breaking news, the Starling City Vigilante has been apprehended. Detective Quentin Lance has just made an arrest charging the alleged vigilante with murder, attempted murder, breaking and entering,....”

 

_ Hmm.. _ she keyed in a few things absently as the news anchor continues to prattle on about more and more of the charges.  _ Bagel or eggs? Pancakes? Who I am I kidding? Sure Felicity let’s just burn the apartment down. _

 

“Oliver Queen is being processed at the Starling City police department. He had no comment upon arrival and we will update you with more information as we have it.”

 

Felicity spins in her chair and stares at the screen watching Oliver Queen get marched in handcuffs into the police station. She has suspected but now confronted with Oliver being arrested she is unsure. What if he is innocent? The news carries the story as his mother arrives, his stepfather. Thea Queen is missing in action.

 

The computer fix sat forgotten as she heads for the door. She wants to see him. She couldn’t. They’d never let her. She...where should she go? She has no one to talk to. She sighs and turns back to her computers. Oliver doesn’t need her. He has plenty of people to worry about him. He doesn’t need her. She holds the flechette and wonders if she could prove his innocence. One sighting of the Hood would prove his innocence. She could do that.

* * *

 

Oliver was hoping Laurel was just thinking it over. While he could make a go at defending himself it wouldn’t be long before he was taken to jail. He needs to have time to brief Diggle and get things moving. Just because Oliver Queen being in prison doesn’t mean the Hood could stop working.

 

Laurel is there in a moment, arguing with the D.A. and winning her argument. He checks out of most of the discussion only getting irritated by house arrest. He’d almost rather be in jail than be confined to the house. He needs mobility and access. Well...at least he’ll have better access to the internet and Diggle. Fine.

 

The ankle tracker is troublesome. His family watches and Moira is clearly upset. Time to do a bit more damage. He makes his party plans, getting the details on the length of his leash, and jokes about accusations. He needs to play the part of the wrongfully accused, unworried by his potential jail time. Plus he needs an alibi for his plans to work. He needs to be seen and he needs to be seen by a large group of people.

 

He shakes off Tommy and his family and goes back to his research. The knock is right on time.

 

“Shut the door.” Diggle moves into the space, ready to hang up his vigilante plans in under 24 hours.

 

“I guess it was just a matter of time before the police caught up with you. They got you on video.”

 

“I knew the security camera was there. I returned to Starling City and a few days later the vigilante appears? Someone was going to make the connection.”

 

“So what...you just go to prison man?”

 

“For now I play the part and we focus on the mission. Leo Mueller is a German arms dealer suspected of stealing a hundred M249 Squad Automatic Weapons. He’s here to sell them.”

 

“Don’t you imagine you’re in enough trouble?”

 

“Imagine our city’s street turned into a war zone if the gangs get the guns. I want you to shadow Mueller. Just track him and let me know where the buy is.”

 

“And how should I do that?”

 

“Well Dig. Us billionaire vigilantes love our toys.”

 

After Dig leaves Oliver makes his way downstairs. Tommy is down there making party plans and chatting up Raisa. He turns and smiles at Oliver. Raisa pats his hand as she heads for the door. The vendors are running early.

 

“So you aren’t worried?”

 

“Tommy do I look worried?”

 

“That’s what worries me. Sometimes you don’t take anything seriously.”

 

“Tommy. I spent years starving and struggling to survive. This doesn’t really worry me.”

 

“You’ve been gone for five years Ollie. We all don’t want to lose you again.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere Tommy. The charges will get dropped. I’m not this vigilante Detective Lance thinks I am.”

 

“Good.” He turns and she’s standing there. She’s wearing what looks like yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt. She looks like she’s been up for hours working non-stop. Her hair is frazzled and her glasses are resting at an angle. Raisa catches his gaze and frowns. This is that strange woman again who only comes to see him.

 

“Who is this?” Tommy moves to stand next to him but Oliver is only watching her. 

 

“Are you him?” she demands. “Are you the man who broke into my apartment last night and wiped my computer? It took me hours to fix that.”

 

“Felicity…”

 

“If you knocked me unconscious I’ll hit you with that bat. It’s in my car and I swear I’m in no mood to deal with you and your weird lies.”

 

“Felicity…”

 

“I’m serious! I spent the last twelve hours trying to find proof you aren’t the vigilante. A traffic camera. Anything! Do you know what I found? NOTHING!”

 

He pulls her into his arms then and she struggles. He can feel Tommy and Raisa’s eyes on him but he doesn’t care. She shaking whether from anger or from worry he’s not sure. He doesn’t care about the audience as he rubs her back and holds her close. Her arms hesitantly wrap around him and he just holds her.

 

“I shouldn’t be here,” she mumbles. “I don’t know why I came.”

 

“I’m glad you did.” He realizes he’s being truthful. He wanted to see her. Tommy and Raisa make their way out of the room and he moves Felicity to the couch. Her shoulders are still shaking and he takes her hands in his. “Everything is going to be fine.”

 

“I should be saying that to you. You’re the one facing life in prison.” 

 

“Everything is going to be fine Felicity. Detective Lance will realize he’s wrong and then the ankle monitor will be gone.”

 

“I thought you were the vigilante,” she admits. He watches her as she wrestles to explain. “I was so sure because you came home and the vigilante showed up. Then the Exchange building and the computer. I was so sure.”

 

“Felicity...do I seem like I’m the vigilante?”

 

“I...I don’t want to think you could be that guy. He’s dangerous and I don’t want to think I would be…”

 

“What?” She smiled hesitantly and rubbed his hands with hers. 

 

“I…”

 

“Where do you want the alcohol set up Mr. Queen?” The three guys have kegs and crates of alcohol on dollies. He glances back and sees the anger on Felicity’s face.

 

“You’re throwing a party?! You’re facing life in prison and you’re going to get drunk?! Why do I do this to myself? I keep thinking you’re this guy who isn’t what everyone thinks he is. Why do I keep doing this?”

 

“Felicity.”

 

“No. I shouldn’t have come. I hope they find you innocent Mr. Queen. Goodbye.”

 

He could chase after her but he knows it's a lost cause. Plus she’s probably already on the driveway and he doesn’t want SWAT jumping on him.

 

“So who is she?” Tommy is leaning against the doorframe and smiling. “You said there was a Russian model and while she’s cute, she’s no Russian model.”

 

“She’s...I don’t know what she is.”

 

“Man it’s the ankle monitor. Jail time always gets girls interested.”

 

“She was worried Tommy. It’s for the best. I’m not good for her.”

 

“Well there’s always Laurel.”

 

“You don’t have to joke Tommy. I’m not interested in Laurel. I’m fine with you and her.”

 

“There’s nothing going on Oliver. Laurel hasn’t been interested since you came back.”

 

“So go after her Tommy.”

 

“Go after your girl then. When this is over. Go get her and be bad for her. She’s still interested even when she’s chewing you a new one.”

 

Oliver doesn’t know why he didn’t lie to her. He had been so careful wording his responses so he wouldn’t be lying to her directly. Lies bother her and he didn’t want to be that guy on top of everything else.

* * *

 

It’s the polygraph that will sell him to Detective Lance. He knows that. Even while his mind is struggling with why Felicity’s disappointment means more to him than it should, he knows he needs to beat the polygraph. He can do it, he knows he can. It’s just a matter of directing the reactions he wants, the questions he wants to be asked. It’s just a waiting game until Laurel has it set up.

 

Speedy is worried. His jokes fall on deaf ears and she looks at him like she’s about to lose him again. 

 

“When you and Dad left on the yacht, you promised you’d see me in a few days. Here we are.”

 

“Speedy I’m going to beat this. I’m not the vigilante.”

 

“You’re never here Ollie. You have all those scars and since you’ve been back you’ve been acting weird.”

 

“None of that makes me him.” 

 

“You gave me an arrowhead Ollie.”

 

“Speedy, I bought that in Beijing airport. It’s not from the island. I did think about you there. I just...I didn’t have anything to give you to prove it. I had nothing left by the time the boat found me.”

 

“I can’t lose you again Ollie. It...I can’t. You have to promise you’ll come home. When you go...you have to come home.”

 

“Always. I’ll always come home Thea.” She’s hugging him then and he’s holding her tight. He’s still amazed by her. He thought of her always but he never realized she would still be a kid even though she is grown up. She needs him in a way no one needs him. It’s humbling and worrying all at once. One night he might not make it home.

* * *

 

The polygraph comes towards the end of a heavy day. Felicity and Thea are on his mind when he takes the seat in the interrogation room. Laurel’s face tells him she hates this idea. The polygraph could backfire. It won’t. He’s calm. He sees the slip before he realizes it was a slip. Laurel’s face tells him that. What did he say that was wrong? Iron Heights? Why would she think he had been there?

 

Lance is on him about the picture before he can reason it out. He has to stay calm. Beat the test. Lie.

 

Each question he turns away. No. No. Yes. No. No. Yes. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is convincing him. He’s waiting for the question.

 

“Are you claiming your scars were self-inflicted?”

 

“No. I didn’t want to talk about the island.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because the people who were there tortured me.”

 

“Have you killed anyone?”

 

“Yes. Sara. It’s my fault she’s dead and I’m sorry.” The conversation is too heavy for him or it should be. Sara should be alive and it is his fault but he accepted that years ago. He hopes the damage has been done and Lance will rethink the accusation. Laurel’s face tells him otherwise. Time for Plan B.

* * *

 

The party is raging outside and he can’t help but dig it in a little more for Detective Lance. He’s on top of the world and he wants Lance to see just how much he’s not worried. Moira’s disapproval can be felt from the second floor but he’s ignoring that. Thea wants nothing to do with the party either so he has to play the role without his family. He’s not sure where Tommy found all these people since he doesn’t know any of them. It doesn’t matter they’re just the smoke and mirrors.

 

“If you think this is what prison is like, you’re in for a rude awakening.” Diggle follows him through the house.

 

“Oddly enough I understand what prison is like. Trust me.” 

 

“Mueller’s car has been parked in the warehouse for 45 minutes. It’s a good place for an arms deal. So should we alert the cops.”

 

“No. The Man in the Hood is going to stop them.”

 

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten but you can’t leave the house.” 

 

“It doesn’t have to be me in the Hood.”

 

“That’s why you threw this ridiculous party. You’re going to have a hundred witnesses while I’m sticking my neck out dressed as the vigilante?!”

 

“I thought you being seen in the Hood would be enough. But Mueller wants to flood our streets with machine guns. Look. It was never my intention to put you in harm’s way.”

 

“Oliver I didn’t think joining your crusade was ever going to be risk-free. You might have gotten used to lying to everyone else in your life but there are people you just can’t lie to. I’m one of them.”

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Now am I going to jail?”

 

“No man. I have to stop an arms deal.”

 

Oliver knows Diggle will do what is necessary but the fact he has to explain himself is troubling. He did not expect to take on a partner and now that he has one he doesn’t know how to treat him. That’s a problem for tomorrow. A drink would be nice.

 

Laurel is waiting downstairs and Oliver knows she’ll want to ‘talk’. She wants something or expects something and he’s just tired. Regardless he takes her upstairs to talk. He needs to handle this before it gets out of hand.

 

“I can’t remember the last time I was in this room.”

 

“I can. Halloween 2005. We were getting ready for Tommy’s party.”

 

“I wore those horrible fishnets.”

 

“I thought you looked good. Why are you here Laurel?”

 

“I just wanted to come and apologize for my father. You have to understand when Sara died, Dad threw himself into his work. He wanted to catch bad guys and...then Mom left and we just fell apart. I don’t want you to feel bad but I want you to understand.”

 

“Why don’t you hate me Laurel? You should hate me.”

 

“I did. I...wanted to. You did this horrible thing to my family but I forgot what happened to yours. What you went through Ollie. I can even...imagine.”

 

“I don’t want you to. I don’t want anyone to imagine it. It’s over.”

 

“Ollie I need to see your scars. I need to know.” He lets her because she’s not going to leave until she knows. She’ll only see some of them. Her hands brush over the scars from Wintergreen, Yao Fei’s arrow, the Bratva tattoo. She doesn’t notice the others. She’s too startled by the ones she does see. She remembers his body before the scars and she can see the damage.

 

“How did you survive all of this?” She’s crying and he doesn’t know how to comfort her. He doesn’t know if he wants to. Sometimes he still feels dead inside like the island is there, hovering over him.

 

“There were times I wanted to die. In the end there was something I wanted more”

 

She kisses him. He doesn’t expect that. She’s kissing him like he never left and he’s letting her. Then he remembers. A flash. A moment. She’s there in his mind. Felicity. His hands push her back. He needs this to stop. 

 

“Laurel I’m sorry…” he begins. “There’s someone. I can’t do this with you. I...there’s someone else.”

 

She rushes out of the room, slamming the door behind her. He caught the embarrassment on her face but he doesn’t bother to rush after her. He slides onto the arm chair, rubbing his mouth. He wants something he can’t have. He shouldn’t have. He’s just started his crusade and he can’t be distracted by this no matter how much he wants to be.

 

The phone rings and Diggle lets him know Mueller has been momentarily stopped. It’s time to head back to the party. The gunman is unexpected. It’s too soon for Mueller. It’s too late for others. Anyone he can think of who would want him dead is already taken care of by the Hood. When Lance shoots the man he is surprised again.

 

Moira and Walter are outraged and rightfully so but Oliver’s mind is whirling. Who could want him dead? Thea is on his arm and is clearly worried. Thankfully she was in her room when the man attacked. He won’t risk her.

 

The ankle monitor is taken from him and he’s relieved. Tomorrow night the Hood will return and Mueller will be handled correctly.

* * *

 

He’s not sure the door will be open to him. He has to try anyway. He has to talk to her. She does open the door but she’s weary. She looks tired and he’s pretty sure he’s the reason.

 

“I saw the news. You’re not him.”

 

“No.”

 

“I’m glad you aren’t going to jail.” She moves to close the door.

 

“Felicity please.” He stops the door with his hand. “I need to talk to you.”

 

“You should go back to your life Mr. Queen. Go be a billionaire playboy and have fun.”

 

“Please. I just…”

 

“Fine. Come in.” He follows her into her apartment. Her baseball bat is still lying where he left it meaning she lied earlier. For some reason that makes him smile. She hadn’t brought it with her. Her computers are up and running and if he’s right he can see his lie detector results.

 

“Felicity.”

 

“I saw your results. I don’t know how but you were lying at least some of the time. Your heartbeat fluttered on a few of the questions. Not enough to flag but enough. You weren’t nervous or the flutter would have been on more questions. Only the hard ones.”

 

“I thought I was too much a playboy or the guy everyone thinks I am.”

 

“You lied. I don’t know why and I don’t know how. You might not be the vigilante but you’re hiding something. You’re evasive and you hide from any question about what happened to you there.”

 

“Do you know why I don’t talk about what happened to me there? Felicity...if people knew what happened there, what was done to me, what I became...they would look at me differently. You would look at me differently.”

 

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

 

“It will. I’m damaged Felicity. I barely sleep. I can’t stay indoors for long periods of time. I barely eat. I can barely function and everyone wants me to be something, to explain something, to be this healthy miracle. All I want is to feel normal again but I don’t even know what that means anymore.”

 

“Oliver.” She’s hugging him and he lets her. He knows he’s not forgiven but he lets himself enjoy one moment of normalcy. “Why me Oliver?

 

“I don’t know,” he whispers against her hair. “I don’t. Maybe it’s because you don’t know me. Maybe it’s because you treat me like a person instead of a story. Maybe it’s because you’re just amazing. I don’t know.”

 

“Oliver...I’m here if you need to talk but I don’t know if I can do this. If I can be whatever it is you want me to be.”

 

“I understand. I was going to ask you to dinner but I can see it would be a waste of time.”

 

“Tonight,” she agrees. She steps out of his arms and leans against the couch. “Go be with your family Oliver.”

 

“Yeah.” He’s almost to the door before she stops him.

 

“Oliver. Not tonight but maybe some other night. I...there’s something here and I don’t want to throw it away.”

 

“Thank you for worrying about me.”

 

“Of course Oliver.” He kisses her forehead before he leaves and she stands there feeling like an idiot. She could have said yes to him but in the back of her mind, she knows he needs to figure himself out first.

 

She watches him leave her building and sighs. The flechette is in her pocket and she can’t help but wonder if its owner just left. The Man in the Hood was seen last night while Oliver had an alibi. How can someone be in two places at once? She ponders the question while she sits in front of her computer listening to the call about Mueller being taken out by the Hood. He’s out there tonight and she feels safe.

* * *

 

“So you lied to her. Or maybe you just gave her a version of the truth.”

 

“I told her what she needed to know Dig. She’s getting too close to me.”

 

“Sad thing is I think you actually believe that. I think things didn’t go down exactly how you planned. You didn’t count on so many people having questions, doubting you. You didn’t think about what happens when you lie. When you were stuck on that island plotting your grand plan to save the city, I don’t think you stopped to consider the effect it would have on the people in your life or how it might hurt them.”

  
“You’re wrong. I think about it all the time. Every time I lie to any of them, it hurts me because I know I’m a little less now. I’m a little more lost and I worry one day I might not come home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now I'm done with the updates this weekend. I hope to have chapter 6 ready for Wednesday or Thursday. Thanks for reading. This chapter is a bit shorter because a lot of the scenes in the episode deal with Laurel/Quentin, Diggle alone, Moira, or Walter. I'm not covering those scenes so sometimes chapters will be shorter because of that.


	6. Hero (1.06)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish. Make it home, right my wrongs. To use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

“Variable acceleration. Most fighters work at the same pace. If you switch it up, you throw your opponent off his game.” Oliver can feel the burn in his workout. There is something incredibly relaxing about hitting something. The sweat is pouring down his back and it’s almost like he’s back on Lian Yu and learning to fight all over again.

 

No one quite understands what “totally alone” means even if there were large chunks of time he was not “totally alone”. During his last months on the island when he was getting ready to come home again he sometimes spent days without making a sound. Noise was jarring and also sometimes a savior. It told him about the wildlife. It warned him of approaching rain or storms. It made him aware of his surroundings. 

 

Here where there was so much noise? He is always on high alert. A knife, a bullet, a car, anything could be right there. A second is all it takes to fall, to falter, to lose, to die. It takes one second and Oliver, more than anyone understands. He’s seen it and experienced it. Death is always waiting around the corner. For now though, he can fight and breathe and sweat. 

 

“Where’d you learn that?” Diggle huffs after a particularly loud crack of metal on skin.

 

“His name was Yao Fei.”

 

“He give you those scars?”

 

“One of them.” The arrow wound still feels strange to him. His first scar from the island. He knows it healed wrong, worse than some of his others. He can still remember the pain from that one even after so much had been done to him. That one will probably always hurt the most.

 

“You know one day you’re going to be straight with me about what really happened on that island.”

 

“Absolutely.” Diggle goes down after another crack and Oliver smiles as he walks away “Not today!”

 

“Still some pretty sweet moves.”

 

“Yep and tonight I’m going to use them on him. Scott Morgan runs water and power in the Glades. Jacks up the prices when people can’t pay, shuts them down even in the dead of winter.”

 

“That’s at least a month away.”

Diggle puts forth the idea of helping other people in Starling City. He demands to know why the list is the only option. Oliver can explain it to him but Diggle doesn’t want to hear it. He wants Oliver to become Starling City’s hero except Oliver never signed up for that. He’s not on a hero’s quest to stop crime in his city and be a source of inspiration and hope. He’s trying to fix his father’s mistakes. Once the last name is crossed off his list then he’ll stop. He’ll hang up the hood and move on with his life. Or maybe he’ll die with the hood on. Either way he has no desire to play hero.

 

“There’s more than one way to save this city Oliver.”

 

“Not for me Dig. Crime happens in this city every day. What do you want me to do, stop all of it?”

 

“It sounds like you have a narrow definition of being a hero.”

 

“I’m not a hero.” He knows the statement falls on deaf ears. Diggle wanted to save the world when he joined the military. He cannot understand why another person doesn’t feel the same. Oliver has never been a hero. He’s had people depend on him in Hong Kong, Lian Yu, Russia, Starling, but he’s never wanted that. He’s never wanted to be the guy everyone looks to for answers. He doesn’t have them.

* * *

 

Oliver heads home to change and shower. Diggle’s words echo in his head but Oliver stands by it. He’s no hero. He sits down at his computer and glances through the files he knows Felicity has been pulling up about the Hood. If she noticed his little surprise she hasn’t removed it. That surprises him. He would have thought her computer would be meticulously looked over after the wipe but apparently she was too angry to look carefully.

 

She moves quickly. She’s gathered far more intel than than the police. She’s leagues ahead of them. She’s already pulled up an old article from Coast City during his brief stay there two years earlier. A man in a green hood. She’s flagged the article and flagged it with two words

 

_ First time? _

 

He remembers that night vividly. It was the first time he put on the hood with the intention of helping people. He thought he’d rid himself of some of the darkness. Amanda Waller found him then and he headed back to the island.

 

Felicity is getting close. She already suspects him but she has no proof. No actual proof. He can work with that. Diggle can wear the suit again while he’s with her. At the same time he knows it won’t matter. She’ll keep digging because she feels compelled to. He wonders if he was wrong to wipe her computers. Before then it was a curiosity. Now he is a mystery to be solved. Who is the man under the hood?

 

Thea meets him at the door of his bedroom. She wants to talk. She looks worried and at first he thinks it is something serious. She’s hurt or needs help. No it’s about their mother. 

 

“Haven’t you noticed she’s been acting a little down lately? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t.”

 

“Well who are you to judge? Since when do you pay attention to how Mom’s feeling?” Thea rolls her eyes at him and he’s amused. She’s worried about Walter being gone. He knows he should be more understanding but he barely knows Walter. His life is just the same with Walter being gone. He should care more but he doesn’t. He doesn’t have it in him anymore.

 

“Ah, guess who I just hung up with?” Moira Queen greets them. Thea and Oliver are equally weary. This could be anything. Anyone. This is dangerous.

 

“Janice Bowen. Carter’s mother.”

 

“Oh.” Oliver can barely hide his distaste. He’d rather be stabbed with an arrow on Lian Yu.

 

“Carter Bowen.” Thea looks like she’d rather be stabbed with an arrow on Lian Yu.

 

“The perfect son.” Oliver groans.

 

“Perfect?” 

 

“According to you Mom. Carter Bowen just won the national chess championship.” Thea smiles and gets in on it. 

 

“Carter Bowen is anchoring the debate team.”

 

“You two are being ridiculous.”

 

“Oliver, Carter just got accepted to Harvard AND Princeton!”

 

“Well Thea, that’s because Carter got a perfect score on his SATs.”

 

“How did he manage to study and cure cancer?”

 

“Fine you two. I get it.” Moira struggles not to laugh. “Well they’re coming for brunch and I expect you there.”

 

“I have plans.” Oliver spits out quickly.

 

“Yes well it’s tomorrow.”

“HA!” Thea looks giddy. “Inches from a getaway.”

 

“You too Thea!’ 

 

“Snap.” 

 

“Nobody says that anymore Ollie.”

 

“Okay but Mom, seriously, I can’t be there.”   
  


“Oliver.” She’s got scary face on. Oliver knows he’s about to lose the argument. She brings that face out only when she really wants something. Wait is that...nope guilt face. She’s good. “I’m sure you two can make the sacrifice.”

 

“We’ll be there.” He’s quick to agree. He can manage an hour. Two tops.

 

“I hate you Ollie.”

 

“Carter Bowen has perfected time travel and can probably help you escape Speedy.”

 

“Carter Bowen survived five years on a deserted island and managed to cure the common cold,” Thea adds as she exits. “And he brought me something better than an airport arrowhead!”

 

He chuckles at her retreating back. Carter Bowen...wonder where he ended up? He’s probably still the perfect son. Great.

* * *

 

Diggle lies to him. Not only does he lie but he does it so convincingly. Oliver’s not sure whether to be surprised or to simply applaud the man. Diggle put the injured cop right in front of him and the sad wife. How can he say no now? He can’t. That much is obvious.

 

“Fine. Let’s catch some bank robbers.” Him and Diggle are at the factory warehouse soon enough and they’re staring at the cameras from the earlier bank robbery. “You lied to me.”

 

“You asked me to work with you, not for you. And you said it was because you understand the kind of man I am. Well Oliver I’m the kind of man who doesn’t walk away when there’s a chance to make a difference. Where are you going?”

 

“To make a difference apparently.” Diggle and Oliver pour over the bank footage, checking all the angles the few cameras offer. While Oliver assesses the scene, pointing out the guy with the temper, the ring that will help ID him, he thinks. Felicity would probably have this information much faster than he can manage it. He hasn’t spoken to her in a week. He wanted to give her space after his crash-and-burn moment in her apartment.

 

“The ring will get us an I.D.” Oliver finally says. “High school rather than college probably.”

 

“Yeah but even with photo enhancement you’re going to have a problem getting a clear shot of the ring.”

 

“It will have left an impression the police would have photographed. It’ll be in evidence lockup.”

 

“Oliver you can’t be serious.”

 

“I’m always serious Diggle.”

* * *

 

Felicity is listening to the news report on the bank robbery when her computer pings. Oliver Queen has apparently been spotted at a club downtown. Traffic cams have the Hood breaking into the police station. One man? Two? She still isn’t sure. She turns her attention to the reports on Oliver Queen. One clean shot of him at the club will at least put him there. Of course the club prides itself on discretion and the only camera is by the main entrance. V.I.P.s like Queen will go in the side door. 

 

She hasn’t seen either men in the past week. She shouldn’t be surprised but she is. She wants him to come see her. She wants Oliver. She doesn’t know why or maybe she does. He’s an interesting man. He’s survived something horrible and he’s trying to find his way home after five years. She knows he’s still struggling but when he looks at her she...she wants it all. 

 

She has never wanted like this before. She’s fantasizing about him at night. She’s picturing him under that hood during late night visits. She’s imagining him in her place, in her life and she can’t seem to stop. Why can’t she stop? 

 

It won’t end well. For some reason she’s sure of that. He’s hiding something, holding something back from everyone. She cannot stand being lied to and he does it so well or not well depending on the situation. At the same time she’s compelled to overlook them. He knows she knows he’s lying and he’s amused by it. Someday she’ll figure him out...if he sticks around long enough.

* * *

 

Oliver rushes home to meet with Carter Bowen, grimacing the whole way. He knows the whole event is going to be painful and awkward and he doesn’t have time for this. The Restons will be planning another heist. The police aren’t even looking for the right people yet. Oliver doesn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of them. It’s off-putting that he cares. He shouldn’t. A glance at his watch tells him he’s on time...early actually.

 

As he steps on the porch his phone rings. He almost presses ignore, almost misses it.  He figures it’s Diggle with a general comment about Oliver ditching him again.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Hi.”

 

“Felicity? He stops dead in front of the door and turns to sit on the low wall. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I...I missed you.” The warmth rushes through him and he smiles. He’s been thinking about her all week but wanted to respect her boundaries. 

 

“I missed you too. How?”

 

“Did I get your number? I’ve actually been stalking you since you came home. I have so many pictures...so many pictures. Shirtless. Shirtless all the time.” She babbles and can’t seem to stop. He doesn’t want her to. 

 

“How’d you know about my shirtlessness?”

 

“I…” 

 

“Are you blushing Felicity?”

 

“No.”

 

“Uh huh.” He just listens to her breathing and Carter Bowen drops away. “So what are you doing on this sunny Sunday morning.”

 

“Working. The servers need to be upgraded. I’m just sitting here waiting it to load up and I thought of you.”

 

“Ah you were bored.” She laughs and he smiles again. “Should I be insulted?”

 

“No. I’m bored and you were the first and only person I wanted to call. Oliver, I’m not stalking you. I may have hacked into your cell provider and gotten your number. I...they’re overcharging you. You should switch carriers.”

 

“Should I? Did you look at my credit card statements too?”

 

“Oliver I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to get your number. It’s not like I can just walk into HR’s office and demand.”

 

“Felicity, I’m kidding. I’m more worried you’ll find all my skeletons.”

 

“In your cell phone records? What are you doing...hiring hitmen?”

 

“Can I see you?” He doesn’t want to keep joking.

 

“You know where I am. I’m here. Here is where I am.”

 

“If I could come now I would. I...I keep trying to stay away and I can’t. Felicity I don’t know what I’m doing but I just…”

 

“Want?” she whispers.

 

“Yeah. I shouldn’t. I’m still damaged and a mess and I don’t want to bring that darkness into your life.”

 

“I want. I want so much and I shouldn’t. We barely know each other.”

 

“I barely know me anymore. I want to know you.”

 

“So learn me Oliver Queen.  I’ll see you soon?”

 

“Yeah. Soon. I...Felicity? Thanks for calling. It will make this meal more bearable.”

 

“I live to help. I hope I haven’t kept you.”

 

“Never.” He’s still smiling when he makes his apologies to his mother and the Bowens. Thea returns his smile and winks. She knows he’s been talking to his mystery girl. His mystery girl who is hard to catch. He’s never worked hard at his relationships and he wants this one to be okay. He doesn’t want to screw this one up.

 

“We thought you were--” Janice begins.

 

“Dead?” Oliver replies. “I get that a lot.”

 

“We’re just glad he’s home.” Moira says sternly. This is not what she wants to talk about.

 

“Billionaire scion, castaway for 5 years? My agent says they’re fighting over your life story,” Carter jokes as he sips a glass of orange juice.

 

“I thought you were a neurosurgeon Carter?” Moira asks.

 

“I am. One minute I’m publishing a book on long term potentiation initiates the creation of a slow-moving protein synthesis and then an agent wants to make me the next Dr. Oz!”

 

“Why would he want you to be a wizard?”

 

There’s laughter and Thea jokes about him needing to read some magazines but Oliver is already thinking about something else. He wishes Felicity was here even though he’s not sure he would subject her to his family right now. It would be an inquisition. Does she have family? She must have family...but he’s always talking about himself or his problems. Something to think about...

 

“I feel it is our duty as Starling City’s more fortunate to help those most in need,” Carter says. Thea rolls her eyes but Oliver does nothing. “Don’t you agree Oliver?”

 

“You’re the hero Carter. I’m just here. Here is where I am.”

 

The silence rolls over the table and Oliver sips his own orange juice. It’s too strong for him and he sets it aside. The eggs are already turning his stomach. His mother looks at him questioningly as everyone starts eating but he just sits there in silence.

 

“Here Mr. Oliver,” Raisa says gently. She sets ice water in front of him and removes the stuffed omelette. Instead she places a plate of toast and two lightly salted eggs in its place. Instead of breakfast meat there is an apple, sliced.

 

“Thank you Raisa,” he murmurs. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him but he looks to his meal instead.

 

“Oliver?” his mother asks.

 

“Mom, Oliver doesn’t eat strong tasting foods very often,” Thea explains. “He says it upsets his stomach.”

 

“I’m fine Mom really.”

 

“I should have known Oliver. You should have told me. I never would have…”

 

“Sir?” Diggle interrupts and moves towards him. “Your liquor distributor’s on the line.”

 

“Diggle?”

 

“The Restons are hitting another bank,” he whispers. “The alarm was just tripped.”

 

“You’ll have to excuse me Carter...Janice.” Oliver is out of there as quickly as possible, grabbing a slice of toast on his way to the door.

 

His mother catches up to him on the threshold. She goes to touch his shoulder before her hand drops to her side.

 

“Oliver…”

 

“I’m sorry. Something’s come up.” He sees the disappointment in her gaze before he leaves but there is nothing he can do.

* * *

 

When Oliver stops the Restons from getting their score, he knows it’s only a matter of time before they strike again. He needs to find them now but he doesn’t even know where to start. Dig’s on his heels as he marches through Queen Consolidated. The few workers in the building seem startled to see the Queen heir in the building on a Sunday.

 

“Hi.” She jumps out of her chair nearly falling to the floor at his greeting. She blushes and turns to face him. Dig grunts in amusement. 

 

“I didn’t expect you to come to me. Here. I mean here. I didn’t expect to see you here,” she stammers. She’s wearing slippers instead of heels and he finds it oddly adorable.

 

“I need your help. I’m trying to find an old friend and uh...I thought maybe you could help with the computer.”

 

“I should just add ‘personal internet researcher for Oliver Queen’ to my job title. Happily I mean.” At Diggle’s grunt Oliver nearly blushes. He forgot Dig was with him. He’s too busy watching her try to look intimidating in slippers with duck faces on them.

 

“This is John Diggle, my bodyguard. Dig this is Felicity Smoak, computer genius.”

 

“I’m not really...I’m not.” Oliver takes her hand and escorts her back to her chair. She falls into it, staring blankly at her computer. “What...what’s his name?”

 

“Derek Reston.” She finds the information effortlessly.

 

“So you guys met at the factory?”

 

“Factory?” Oliver hasn’t been paying attention. He’s been watching her fingers move over the keyboard. She has a twisty tie around her one finger and he can’t help but wonder why.

 

“The Queen Steel Factory.”

 

“Wait he worked for my father?”

 

“Not so close then? He was the factory foreman until your Dad moved all the production to China. 1500 workers lost their jobs. They lost everything.”

 

Oliver sits back stunned. He knew his father made mistakes but he didn’t realize just how many. 1500 people and families lost everything while his father padded their bank accounts. He doesn’t even hear Diggle leave the room. He does feel her hand on his.

 

“You didn’t know? I’m sorry. He was your father.”

 

“It seems I never really knew my father.” She slides closer to him and links her fingers with him. The twisty tie cuts into his finger and she rips her hand away.

 

“Sorry. I made a sandwich earlier and I always lose these.” She pulls it off her finger and drops it on her keyboard. He watches it bounce to the floor and knows she probably won’t find it again. He links his fingers with her before she can change her mind. She lets him.

 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make up for my father’s mistakes.”

 

“The fact that you’re sitting here worried about this man you clearly don’t know, means you are not your father. You’re already trying to make a difference. Like the vigilante.”

 

“Do you still think I’m him?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t want to think you can just go out there and hurt people that way.”

 

“Maybe he’s trying to protect this city.”

 

“There are other ways,” she cuts him off. “There’s always another way that doesn’t involve killing.”

 

“Would you go to dinner with me?” He asks abruptly and she looks confused. Their hands are still linked but when she looks at him he knows her answer. “It’s a no again.”

 

“It’s a ‘not right now’,” she responds. “I’m sorry. I’m being a tease and hate that term. It’s like when people think the only news a woman can have is engaged or pregnant.”

 

“Can I ask why the answer’s no?”

 

“I have to work every night this week and by Friday I’ll be exhausted. When I go to dinner with you, I don’t want to be falling asleep.”

 

“We could have dinner in bed,” he murmurs. A flush is creeping up her cheeks and he smiles broadly. Good to know. She’s thought about it.

 

“Mmm...sounds nice but I’m not that kind of girl.”

 

“I know.” He can hear the beeping from the nearby room and she bolts upright. 

 

“I have to get back to work,” she says. She’s halfway out the door before she turns back. Orchids.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“My thank you flowers. I love orchids too.” She winks but doesn’t look back as she heads into a nearby room. 

 

“Sir?”

 

“Not a word Diggle.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * *

 

“I’m going to speak to Reston. Maybe I can get him to change his mind.”

 

“Oliver, he had his chance. It’s called not being a criminal.”

 

“Diggle my father did this to him. This is because of me.”

 

“Oliver listen to yourself. This is not your fault. The Restons are not the victims here.”

 

“They wouldn’t be doing this if my father had done the right thing. There’s another way Dig and I have to try.”

 

Diggle doesn’t speak to him again and doesn’t follow. Oliver finds Derek Reston in the bar near the old factory. He’s indignant and has no patience for rich men. Oliver wants to help and when he hints at the bank robberies, Reston looks surprised.

 

The job offer is a no go. Oliver can understand pride. It’s something he learned about on the island. What it means to have it and what it means to not. He also knows the sacrifices it takes to maintain it. Reston is intrigued but Oliver knows it’s not enough. Reston is doing one more job and now he’ll have to take them down. He wants to try a different way but he can’t do it if those he is hunting refuse to cooperate.

 

The fundraiser is loud and Oliver looks over the food options groaning. Everything is fancy and overdone. He skips it heading it for the bar. When he orders a glass of water the bartender looks confused. This party has free alcohol and he wants water? Him? Oliver Queen? He doesn’t know how long he’ll be here but he writes a check for CNRI, glancing over the information about their important work. 

 

His phone beeps and he tugs it out, opening the text. The white and yellow orchids are sitting by her bed and she’s lying there, smiling. It’s nothing risque but he’s affected either way. His thumb runs over her cheek and he smiles. She’ll say yes eventually.

 

“Oliver, I’m surprised you made it with your hectic schedule,” his mother says. She’s next to him holding a plate of food, offering him some absently. He shakes his head and sips his water

.

“I’m sorry Mom. I messed up. I made you a promise and I couldn’t keep it.”

 

“Oliver, it’s nothing new. I know we’ve had our differences but I always thought we had a connection. Can you just imagine after being granted the miracle of having my only son return to me, he wants nothing to do with me.”

 

“Mom it’s not like that. It’s complicated.”

 

“Oliver I’m not sure why you come home at all. Clearly whatever or whomever you see at night is more important.”

 

“Mom I don’t come at night because I can’t sleep there.” She looks startled and faces him fully, her gaze full of questions. “I sleep outside mostly, sometimes at the warehouse when it rains. I have nightmares and I can be violent. I won’t risk Thea or you.”

 

He’s not exactly lying. Most of what he’s said is true. It’s why he pushes himself as the Hood. It’s why he works himself to exhaustion. He doesn’t know how to relax anymore. Sleep is vulnerability and he struggles with being exposed. Diggle might guess but he doesn’t bring it up.

 

“Oh Oliver, why didn’t you say any--”

 

“Sir?” Diggle interrupts and mentions the Restons. Oliver looks at his mother and can already see her disappointment. He tries to apologize but she’s already turning from him. Again he’s disappointed his family. He nearly pauses when he sees Thea stumble in drunkenness but he can’t wait. The Restons need to be stopped. He can’t wait.

* * *

 

Reston is pleading with him to understand. He turned his son into this. His son is paying for his sins. Oliver understands better than anyone. It doesn’t save Reston and it didn’t save his father. Reston still bleeds out in a bank in the middle of the night with only Oliver by his side. His son will still go to prison. His family will still be broken. Another thing Oliver understands…

 

Diggle’s comfort does nothing for him. He doesn’t want to talk about Reston or his father or the cop in the hospital who had been shot. It didn’t matter. He tried a different way and it didn’t work. He couldn’t save him. Diggle tries to tell him his other way matters. He got justice for the cop who was shot. He stopped bank robbers who would have hurt others. Maybe but he doesn’t feel any better about it.

 

He watches his mother pour her drink, sighing to an empty room. Raisa has already told him Thea is drunk and sleeping it off. He doesn’t know why she got drunk but that’s another problem. It’s just another symptom of the poison in this city. Families are breaking every day and he can’t save them all. He can’t even save his own.

 

“I’m sorry about tonight.” She puts the alcohol down and turns to face him. His mother doesn’t smile or offer anything at all. “I...don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“You were being honest Oliver. You used to be able to tell me everything and now even when you’re here it’s like you are still on that island. I miss you and I don’t know how to get you back.”

 

“I don’t know how to come back Mom. I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not...I’m different. I don’t know how to be any of this anymore.”

 

“Honey,” she hugs him but he doesn’t break. He just hugs her back. It’s not the same. He dreamt of this kind of comfort for years but he’s still cold inside. He doesn’t know how to come home even though he decided to. He doesn’t know how to be Oliver Queen anymore.

 

“Are you hungry?” She’s surprised but happy when they sit down at Big Belly Burger. Carly’s not there and neither is Diggle. She’s trying to cut her burger with a knife and fork and he stops her. “It’s okay to get your hands dirty.”

 

“This food is okay?” she asks hesitantly. 

 

“Yeah. It’s just meat and a slice of cheese. I didn’t get condiments and I’ll eat the fries without anything. The milkshake might be too much but...I’ll soldier through.”

 

“You lied to me this morning.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“When you said your were late because of traffic for the Bowens. You lied. You arrived fifteen minutes early. I saw you.”

 

“I got a phone call.”

 

“And that was more important than brunch with me?”

 

“Not more important Mom.”

 

“Oliver I’m kidding. Whomever you spoke to made you smile and relax. You came into brunch calm. It was refreshing.”

 

He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t really know what to say. He’s not ready to share Felicity with his family. He craves those interactions and he’s afraid if he shares it then it will be ruined. Right now it's his and only his.

 

“You know I’ll bet Carter Bowen doesn’t know where to find the best burger joint in Starling City.”

 

“So I have one thing on him.”

 

“No. You have everything on him.”

* * *

 

She’s sleeping when he crawls in the window. The orchids are right where they were in the picture and she’s smiling. He shouldn’t be here. He knows this. He knows it’s wrong to be here in the middle of the night in her bedroom but he wanted to see her even if for a moment. 

 

“I left the window open for you,” she murmurs sleepily. “I left my computer up so you can wipe it.”

 

“I didn’t come here for that.”

 

“Hmm…”

 

“You’re right about Coast City.” She sits up suddenly and stares at him, blinking up at him. She tugs her glasses on and watches him prowl around the small room. His bow is on the window sill and for some reason she feels safe. She shouldn’t. He’s dangerous. He was involved in a bank shooting.

 

“That was your first time? Really?” She’s thankful she wore full pjs tonight. She almost...well that’s another fantasy for after he leaves. She steps behind him and pauses. “Am I close?”

 

“Too close,” he rasps. He jumps when she touches his shoulder and she feels like she’s touching dynamite. He’s larger than she remembered. She can feel his muscles through the costume and she should be scared. He could really hurt her. She’s read the police reports. She knows what he’s capable of doing.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“I wanted to offer you a job. I could use someone with your skills.”

 

“No.” It’s quiet but forceful. “I don’t want to help you hurt people.”

 

“That’s a narrow view of what I do. I’m stopping crime lords and punishing the guilty who are destroying this city.”

 

“You’re shooting people with arrows! Those people have families. They have people who will miss them! Who are you to play judge, jury, and executioner?”

 

“Fear is motivation.”

 

“So is actual justice. They can go to prison and serve their time.”

 

“They’ll never spend a single night in prison. With their money, their resources? They’ll be out and destroying this city.”

 

“It’s not your job to fix the system!”

 

“I’ve made it my job.”

 

“I can’t help you with that. I won’t be a part of that.”

 

“I understand.”

 

He’s at the window before she can speak. She rushes towards him and stops him with a hand on his shoulder. She can’t see his face but she hopes he can see hers.

 

“Be safe. You’re trying to do something good even when I don’t agree with it. It’s honorable to try.”

 

He’s gone before she can say anything else. She doesn’t see him on the street but she’s knows he out there. The bank robbery was different tonight. The police report mentioned he stayed with the dying man. He tried to save him. She looks at her phone light up across the room and moves to check the message.

 

_ Please say yes to dinner -O _

 

She looks back to the open window and then to her phone. She’s the girl who was going to save the world and didn’t consider the consequences. She yelled at the head of a major company and didn’t look back. She’s the girl who just said no to a vigilante. She types in her response and puts the phone down, slipping back into bed.

 

On the roof of her building, Oliver waits and smiles. The sirens go off nearby and he’s off. The city still needs saving and maybe there is another way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hard at work on chapter 7 and I'll be honest, it's hard slipping Felicity into that one. 1.07 is the introduction of Helena and a lot of those scenes are incredibly important for discussion and to get Oliver in the right headspace. I'm working on it but it's actually a pretty fast-paced episode. Chapter 8 will have the date because (if you all remember) Helena and Oliver go on a date in 1.08 (that's not happening here).
> 
> Side note: I'm going to let it snow in Starling. Just saying. I don't think it's ever snowed there on the show. It's my story and it's snowing there in a later chapter. Just...warning.
> 
> 2nd Side Note: I much prefer thinking Oliver was delayed because of Felicity than "Sunday traffic". 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Combust (1.07)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me to bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

It’s a cooler day in Starling City and Oliver Queen just wants to enjoy it. The open road, his motorcycle, and maybe five minutes with the cute blonde at QC. He knows she’s not the kind of girl to play hooky but maybe he can convince her to go to lunch with him. Their date is still up in the air and he just wants that connection. He wants to set that date and just enjoy himself for a few hours without his family or Diggle or his city demanding things from him. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

“Thea?” Luckily she called him in a convenient location. He was just outside QC. He was not, however, in the mood for whatever it is she needed at that exact moment. 

 

“Mom said I’m supposed to remind you to pick her up for lunch.” He glances down at the motorcycle and back at QC.

 

“Was I supposed to have lunch with her?”

 

“Ollie! She said she left you five messages. Just bite the bullet and have a Cobb salad with the woman.” 

 

“I sometimes forget which of you is my mother Speedy.”

 

“...well fine then I won’t tell you where I made reservations. Good luck!”

 

She’s gone before he can beg for the intel. He can get them in somewhere with a little cash but it will be obvious he forgot. Well it’s already obvious he forgot. His bike won’t accommodate his mother. Well...not his mother anyway. Anyone else would work.

 

The gunshots startle him and he’s racing towards his mother. She’s on the ground, barely moving when he reaches her. After assuring both himself and his mother she hasn’t been hit, he takes off chasing the man on the motorcycle. He nearly catches him, racing down alleys and scaling fences but he loses him. Now he’s blocks away and his mother is still sitting in front of QC with a dead man.

* * *

 

“Are you okay?” His mother looks small in the hospital bed. She’s not her usual formidable self and Oliver can’t help but worry. He’s used to her being so strong and to see her like this…

 

“I’m fine,” she replies. “Thea did you reach Walter?”

 

“No Mom. Sorry.”

 

The doctor explains her concussion to Oliver and he grimaces. She got lucky but it could have been a lot worse. She could have been hit and there would have been nothing he could do. No matter how hard he tries, it is still his family that seems to be hurt.

 

“I shouldn’t have left you. I thought you were fine.” The guilt is heavy and he’s not seeking comfort. He doesn’t deserve any comfort when he left his mother lying in front of her business. He shouldn’t even be here.

 

Thea catches him in the hallway. She’s full of hellfire and he can see their mother in her. She’s not going to let this go. She shouldn’t.

 

“Maybe you should spend a little less time trying to be a hero and a little more time worrying about Mom.” 

 

“I was trying to get a license plate.” She shakes her head at the lie. She looks up at him as though he’s broken her heart again.

 

“I love you. Mom loves you. These lies...they hurt Ollie. Go home. I’ll stay with Mom.” She clicks the door shut to their Mom’s hospital room. She doesn’t slam it or give any indication of anger. She just clicks it shut and the disappointment and guilt rains down on him. 

 

“Is your Mom okay?” She’s there, walking towards him. Her hand touches his arm and he looks at her. She’s dressed for work and her hair is frazzled. Her glasses are askew and she fixes them absently, sliding them up her nose. “I was headed for my lunch break when I heard.”

 

“She’s fine. She wasn’t hit.”

 

“Good. So she’ll go home soon?”

 

“Yeah...we’re across town. You spent your lunch hour coming to see me.” She would spend the second half of her break just getting back to the office, assuming there was no traffic. She’d be late because the streets in front of QC would be blocked by police. Even so, she came anyway.

 

“It’s okay. I’ll grab a sandwich on my way back. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

“She almost wasn’t.” 

 

“Your Mom is strong Oliver. She’ll be fine.”

 

“She almost wasn’t.”

 

“You need to let go of all that guilt and just be thankful. You are all okay.” 

 

“Thank you for coming Felicity.” She smiles at him and nods her head knowing what she said has not made an impact. “You always seem to show up when I need someone.”

 

“I’m just amazing like that.”

* * *

 

He’s been training for two hours when Diggle finally comes in. He can’t stop the motions. It’s the only way to stop his head from throbbing. His mother is probably home now and he can’t bring himself to see her. He can’t look at her and know he’s failed her again.

 

“Oliver your mom was nearly killed. You should be at home.”

 

“She wasn’t the target.” He stops and moves to the computer bringing up the picture of Paul Copani. “He was trying to close a deal between Frank Bertinelli and her.”

 

“The mob boss?” Diggle slides behind him looking at the newspaper clippings. 

 

“Copani isn’t the first member of Bertinelli’s crew who’s been hit. I figure the best way to find out who’s trying to put a stop to Bertinelli’s operation is to get inside of it.”

 

“Wait. So your mother is shot at, nearly killed and the way you process this emotionally is by going undercover with the mob?”

 

He’s tugging a shirt on while Diggle goes on and on about his lack of emotional processing. He should go home and be with his family. He should deal with his feelings. He can’t deal with his feelings. He doesn’t know how. He has to have the mission because without it he won’t keep moving forward.

 

“I tried to be there with Thea today and she told me I was lying to her and I am. I couldn’t tell her I left our mother alone and bleeding out on the pavement because I’m fast enough to almost run down her attacker. All I can do is protect my family.”

 

He doesn’t stay to listen to Diggle try and reason with him. It won’t change his mind. Bertinelli is on the list. That’s enough for him. 

* * *

 

He manages to dodge Thea at the house. He doesn’t have time to play nursemaid when his skills would be far more useful targeting Bertinelli. Bertinelli was on his long-range plan concerning the list but the others would wait. 

 

“Hey is your Mom okay?” Tommy catches him on the driveway. Oliver doesn’t have time for this but stops anyway. He hasn’t spent much time with Tommy recently and he knows Tommy means well. He wants his best friend back. He wants Oliver Queen from before the island back. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Tommy that Oliver died when the Gambit went down.

 

“She’s resting. She’s more shaken up than anything. I have to go but I appreciate you stopping by.”

 

“Yeah.” Things are awkward but Oliver doesn’t have time to fix it. “Look Oliver I don’t want you to find this out somewhere else because...it’s Laurel. We’re going on a date.”

 

“That’s great Tommy. Laurel deserves someone special and so do you.”

 

“Thanks man. I just...I know you two haven’t really worked out your issues yet.”

 

“It’s over Tommy. We might not have talked but it’s over. It has been for a long time. I have to go.”

 

“Right. Yeah.”

 

“Oh and Tommy. If you hurt her I’ll snap your neck.” He doesn’t clarify the statement. Tommy will take it as a joke but Oliver’s not sure. He’s not in love with Laurel anymore but she’s still important to him. He doesn’t want her hurt. Tommy’s a good friend but he’s lousy with women or at least he has been. 

* * *

 

The Bertinelli household has a strange vibe to it. Oliver can’t quite put his finger on it but he knows something is wrong. For a household filled with men, there is a silence that is off-putting. It’s not grief, not exactly. It’s almost like the household just stopped moving forward, frozen in time. It’s strange and Oliver can’t shake the feeling there is something larger going on.

 

Introductions are stilted and Oliver doesn’t care for the look of Nick Salvati. This is the man who does the dirty work. He’s the man to watch. It’s entirely possible Salvati is the one who pulled the trigger outside of QC.

 

Drinks are a necessity that he detests. He can play the game of the semi-shifty businessman. It’s all about confidence but he has no taste for it. It’s underhanded lying. It’s not lying to protect. It’s just lying to make things look nice. 

 

“So why did you come back to Starling? After that island you could have gone anywhere.”

 

“Starling City is my home.” Oliver answers truthfully. “At first it was to see my family and friends and then I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. This is my home.”

 

“No matter which way you go or turn, you always end up at home.” Helena Bertinelli is someone Oliver knows he could be attracted to. She’s damaged in some way, beautiful in others, and interested in him. He doesn’t know why other than his bank account and she certainly doesn’t need that. Regardless she’s standing there, watching him like a cat watches a mouse.

 

Oliver watches the argument between Frank and Helena, knowing Helena is expected to step up and take him to dinner. It’s the way things are done. Him or Thea would be expected if Moira was not up to it. Another reason he detests this part of the life.

 

“Oliver I’m sorry but something has come up. Helena would love to take you to dinner and discuss the deal.”

 

“I really wanted to handle this through you.”

 

“Well Oliver, as you speak for your family, my daughter speaks for mine.”

 

That’s how Oliver found himself sitting across the table from Helena Bertinelli and eating bread versus the heavy meal he had been brought. His request for fruit had been mostly ignored since it was asked when Helena went to freshen up. The wine was their best but not to his liking. He sipped the glass of ice water and thought about how best to proceed.

 

“So why would you go to business with my father? You know who he is and how he made his money,” Helena asks upon her return. 

 

“You don’t approve of your family’s enterprises?”

 

“We share a name and that name defines us whether we want it to or not. You’ve made judgements about me, just like I’ve made judgements about you.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Look,” she starts hesitantly. “I know it must have been hell for you, alone on that island for 5 years but was there ever a day when you were just happy to be away from everything? No pressure from your family, no need to be the person everyone else expects you to be?”

 

“More than one. Those are the days I miss. Now I look for moments.”

 

“Moments?”

 

“Moments where it slips away and I can be me or relax or just...let it all go. I only get a few of those.”

 

“She’s lucky,” Helena replies knowingly.

 

“Who?”

 

“The girl who put that look on your face. My fiance used to look like that when he looked at me.” That is a statement Oliver cannot really handle right now. He might be developing feelings for Felicity but he knows it is way too soon for anything serious. He has not even taken her on a date yet and already he’s falling in love with her. That is something to consider later.

 

“I didn’t know you were engaged.” She waves the empty hand towards him and looks out the window, sighing.

 

“He died.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Their attention turns to food or lack thereof as he picks at the things on his plate he can eat. Some of it is just preference. After so long, some food has lost it’s appeal to him. Other food is too heavy for him. The doctor has told him to reintroduce food slowly but he hasn’t bothered yet. His island diet works for him mostly.

 

“So what did you miss the most while you were away?”

 

“I usually say air conditioning or radio or something like that because that is what people expect.”

 

“It’s not true though?”

 

“No. I missed small things, unimportant things before that now seem the most important.”

 

“And you can’t be truthful to your family?”

 

“They would not understand.”

 

“You went through a crucible and it changed you. How could it not?”

 

“Your fiance?”

 

“My crucible.” She nods and looks away. “When you go through a crucible no one understands you anymore. They look at you differently. They expect you to just pick up and move on with your life and you can’t. It’s like…”

 

“You’re drowning.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

The meal ends soon after. Helena and him part ways as he heads for his car, listening as Diggle explains Bertinelli’s moves. Salvati is arriving at the restaurant. Thankfully Oliver packed his suit and weapons. He’s through the window before anyone innocent can get hurt. 

 

Helena is the woman killing Bertinelli’s men. He’s shocked when he sees her run away. He should follow. He should stop her. He should make her stop hurting people but he can’t. She’s like him. She’s just like him.

* * *

 

Oliver and Diggle are fighting. He knows Diggle is probably right but he can’t put an arrow in Helena. She’s wrestling with darkness just like him and she doesn’t have the support she needs. She can’t find it with her family or friends. She has no one and maybe he can help her. He has to at least try to help her.

 

The weirdest part of the day comes when Detective Lance shows up. He warns Oliver away from Helena, seemingly to protect him. It’s off-putting and Oliver knows he’s gaping at him. This is not Detective Lance’s M.O. This is Laurel’s. For a moment he wonders if Quentin Lance ever respected him or whether he feels he owes a debt of some sort. He doesn’t. Sara is dead because of Oliver and he can never repay that debt. 

 

Oliver finds Helena at a cemetery hours later. She’s been crying. She’s touching the stone in reverence. He recognizes the touch. It’s a touch begging to be touched back. One more day, hour, minute, second with that person. He’s had those moments himself. There is so much loss in Starling City.

 

“How did you find me here?” 

 

“I followed you from your house. You said that losing him was your own crucible and that it changed you. You didn’t say how.”

 

“When you love someone as much as I loved him, with all of your heart, you can’t just turn that emotion off when they’re taken from you. You still feel just as deeply. And if it can’t be love then it becomes hate.”

 

He barely gets to respond before the two are being abducted by Salvati and his men. He’s surprised he’s taken at all. Surely he will be missed. He wants to be with Helena because he knows this is going to end badly. The mob does not abduct the leader’s daughter. They politely, yet forcefully ask for compliance.

 

The fact they zip-tie their hands speaks volumes. Helena and him are unlikely to walk out of here alive if they play along for too long. Helena takes the hit from Salvati and Oliver winces.  Helena is quick to spill the beans, outing herself as the inside man in Bertinelli’s business. He sees it the moment Salvati confesses to killing her fiance. There is no pulling Helena back from this fight. Salvati will die in this warehouse.

 

Afterwards Oliver doesn’t know what to do with himself. He needs to help her. He needs to show her there is another way. She got her revenge but she’ll still feel empty inside. Revenge isn’t justice but he knows he needs to try. Helena is standing on a cliff and without help she won’t make it. He can’t let her blood be on his hands whether it is her own or the people she will hurt.

* * *

 

“Walter’s home.” Oliver turns to Thea and watches her hesitantly. He’s never quite sure when she’s going get angry at him and he feels the need to tip-toe past her.

 

“Look I’m sorry if I was a bitch earlier.” She finally offers.

 

“There were a few times. Could you be more specific?”

 

“Don’t push it.”

 

“At the hospital you were a little bit bitchy but...I forgive you.”

 

“We’re worried about you Ollie. You seem lonely and I know you have secrets. You definitely have secrets. It’s fine if you can’t tell me or Mom but you need to tell someone. You need to let someone in before there’s no one left to let in.”

 

“Speedy…?” She doesn’t stick around. She walks right past him as if the conversation never happened. He knows she’s right. Deep down he knows he’s still treading water. One of these days he’ll do something so terrible they won’t forgive him. One of these days an apology won’t be enough.

* * *

 

“I’d ask how you got in here but the Starling city vigilante comes and goes as he pleases, doesn’t he?

 

Helena’s just out of the shower but there’s something different about her. It’s in her eyes. He knows that look better than almost anyone. When you get revenge you expect to feel something but you don’t. They’re still gone.

 

“How’d you know?”

 

“Your eyes and your fighting style. That island changed you in ways that only someone like me could understand.”

 

“No. What you are doing feels like justice, but it’s not. It’s just revenge.”

 

“Revenge can be justice.”

 

“No.”

 

“Isn’t the man in the hood fighting to set things right? Why is your vendetta more valid than mine? We’re the same!”

 

“No we’re not.”

 

“Hiding in plain sight, concealing our anger with smiles and lies. Don’t lie to me Oliver. You’re filled with hate and lies and anger. It’s all you know.”

 

“Why are you crying?”   
  


“I don’t know. All I know is I’m not alone anymore. You’re here in this hate with me.”

 

She kisses him and he freezes. He’s been alone so long he’s not even sure what it means anymore. It feels good to just be accepted, to not have to hide or lie. It feels good to give into the anger and pain. But then he’s pushing her away.

 

“No.” She’s staring at him, her eyes blazing in emotion. “No Helena.”

 

He leaves the way he came, not knowing if the city is safe from her. He can’t be the city’s everything. He can’t...he can’t shoulder that weight too. He’s carrying so much and the darkness is right there tugging at him, begging him to let go again. Be the man he could be. Be the killer he has been and could be again. He needs somewhere with no anger and no hate. He needs a soft touch, a momentary reprieve from the demands of his life.

* * *

 

“Hi.”

 

“Oliver?” She doesn’t do anything other than open the door and let him in. He looks shattered to her and she just leads him to the couch and gets him seated. “Oliver what happened?”

 

He doesn’t speak. He just sits there staring forward. The breeze is pouring in through the window and she just waits for him to tell her what is wrong. He usually smiles with her but tonight he looks...he seems broken and unsure. Lost...that is the word.

 

“I...I met someone who understands what it was like to be on that island for five years. I didn’t know there was someone who could understand like that.”

 

“Why are you so upset?” she reaches out and touches his shoulder, her fingers rubbing against his neck. He closes his eyes and breathes at the soft touch. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

 

“Don’t stop,” he whispers. He tugs her hand back to his shoulder, pressing her warm fingers to his pulse. He is cool to the touch, his skin slick with sweat. 

 

“Okay,” she whispers. The news is on low on her TV and she simply watches it waiting for him to speak. Long minutes pass as she touches him, stroking his neck softly, waiting for him to tell her what has him so upset.

 

“She told me I’m full of anger and hate.” She turns to face him as he starts. His words are quiet and she reaches out to mute the TV. He won’t look at her yet, still thinking about the person who has cast him in such a negative light.

 

“I don’t believe that,” she replies. Her finger nudges his ear and he tilts towards the touch. His hand falls on her knee and she ignores the heat from his palm. She also ignores the weirdness of Oliver Queen sitting on her couch while she wears pjs with nesting dolls on them. The past few months have been incredibly strange.

 

“I lost myself on that island Felicity. For five years I lost myself and I don’t want to lose myself again.”

 

“So don’t. She sounds like she’s going through something horrible and she’s still lost. You aren’t full of hate and anger. Anyone who spends time with you can see that.”

 

“I am Felicity. I just...sometimes I can’t think straight because of it. The things my father did, the pain I suffered on the island…”

 

“You’re scared. It’s okay to be scared.”

 

“I can’t be scared Felicity. Everyone’s looking to me to be better, to be fixed.”

 

“That’s their problem. You worry about you. Don’t worry about them. I know who you are Oliver Queen. Maybe I don’t know the details or the little stuff but you...I know who you are. You’re not full of hate. If anything you’re full of love. Love for your family, your friends, your home. You only worry about them and no one should make you feel bad for taking five minutes to worry about yourself.”

 

She’s looking at him, full of concern. Her hand is in his lap and he’s holding it like a lifeline. She’s not looking at him like anyone else does. Thea and his mom are filled with disappointment and expectations. Laurel is full of anger. Tommy is full of naivety. Helena is full of hate. Felicity...she’s full of something else.

 

“Oliver? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face? I knew it. Is it rice? I knew I shouldn’t have had Chinese this late but the shrimp…”

 

He’s kissing her before she can finish her sentence. He’s surrounding her and for a second she almost pushes him away. He’s so warm, so alive and she doesn’t think she’s ever held someone like this. He’s like lightning and she wonders if she’ll be burned or brought to life.

 

He’s an impenetrable wall against her and she stumbles back against the armrest. He follows her like he’s always been there, like they do this everyday. Her legs are over his and she doesn’t know how that happened. His hand is on her neck, her pulse thundering in her veins. He’s making a soft sound, a groan against her lips and her eyes shoot open. His are watching hers looking for something. Whatever it is he’s looking for, he finds it and his arm bands around her waist, anchoring her to him, eyes drifting shut.

 

She doesn’t know how long they stay like that. She doesn’t know how long he’s been kissing her but she knows she doesn’t want him to stop. It’s one of the hottest and most chaste moments of her life. His hands don’t roam at all and she’s not sure whether to be insulted or overjoyed. He’s reverent, holding her neck and cradling her head against the armrest. Her hands have somehow ended up underneath his jacket but she can’t feel his skin. It’s like she can because his body is so hot suddenly she wonders if he’s feverish. 

 

He can kiss and why that surprises her, she doesn’t know. All she knows is this is the single hottest moment of her life. She freezes for a second when he adjusts his position, her legs bracketing his hips. He’s just far enough away she can’t feel him but she knows he’s interested. She just knows in her soul he would take her to her bed if she gave him permission.

 

“Ol..iver..” she breathes, moving her head away from his lips. He’s insistent and presses kisses to her cheek, her neck. Just as quickly he pulls back sensing her indecision. He’s practically the poster example of “no means no”. He sits back, arranging her body so he’s not pressed against her. The only touch is their linked hands.

 

“I...can I…?” He’s affected and he’s trying not to be. His voice is ragged and his breath is coming at short bursts. She can relate. She feels floaty and it’s weird and amazing all at once.

 

“Stay? On the couch,” she breathes. “Or you can have the bed. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow and I can’t...can’t get all combusted.”

 

“I’m combusting you?” he murmurs, stealing another kiss. She lets him tug her against him and she smiles. “Just a few more minutes..”

  
“Oliver…” he knows she’ll go to her bed at some point but for now she’s in his arms and he can feel a hand tugging him out of the rushing waters. It’s different than what Helena wants. He doesn’t want to drown in anger and hate. He wants to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't actually think I'd let Helena/Oliver sleep together did you? No way. Oliver is firmly in the "Felicity Smoak" camp in this fic. He's all about the blonde IT girl who always knows just what to say or not to say. I'm cautiously awaiting my first Olicity fight (not plotted but it will happen eventually).
> 
> I know this chapter is a little bit shorter but there is only so much I can do with Helena. She takes up a lot of screen time in 107 and 108. Next chapter has the date in it between Oliver/Felicity and the awkward double with Tommy/Laurel. That should flesh things out a bit. For those thinking ahead I have stuff planned for 114 (the flashback heavy episode).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Damaged (1.08)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

The knife rips through his skin and he can hear his screams echoing around him. The blood is trickling down his stomach. The binds are tight and the man behind the mask is enjoying it. He can’t break. He can’t tell them. He doesn’t know why he just knows he can’t give in to the torture. 

 

“Oliver!” a hand is shaking him and his hand reaches out tightening around his attacker’s throat. They’re hurting him and they need to stop. A hand spasms over his grip and the other touches his face. “Oli..”

 

His eyes shoot open and he sees Felicity. He’s choking her and he spins away from her, slipping over the couch to the floor. He backs himself against her kitchen island, knocking a stool over. He hurt her. He put marks on her. She’ll bruise and it will be his fault. He’s shaking and apologizing, remembering when he attacked his mother.

 

“It’s okay,” she rasps. She’s holding him and he’s shaking. He can’t relax his body into her but she’s there, hugging him and telling him everything will be okay.

 

“I hurt you,” he whispers.

 

“I shouldn’t have touched you.” she murmurs. “You’re not supposed to touch someone when they’re having a nightmare. I just...you were screaming.”

 

“I hurt you.”

 

“I’m okay. My throat’s a little sore but I’ll live.” Finally he wraps his arms around her middle. He has her arms around his head and he rests against her breasts. He can’t even enjoy the moment because he’s still locked in the pain. Her hands soothe over his back and she doesn’t comment on his wet shirt or the way he shakes against her. She just holds him. 

 

They sit there for minutes or hours, he’s not sure. Her breathing levelled out awhile back and he knows she is sleeping. Her hands are not moving against him anymore but he can feel her fingers on his back. He won’t sleep again tonight but he can enjoy this moment. She didn’t ask him to explain or demand to know what he dreamt about. She just accepted it and moved on. He knows his time is running out with her. At some point she’ll want answers and then all of this will end. 

 

He closes his eyes and rests. He’ll enjoy it while he can.

* * *

 

He slips her into her bed when Diggle’s call comes in. Helena is on the move again. Felicity murmurs something sleepily and he has to fight to remove her hand from around his neck. He slips the quilt over her and takes one more second to touch her cheek. The note is next to her bed, waiting for her to read it. He knows it won’t cover it but he needs to thank her. He needs to tell her what she did for him matters.

 

Suited up, Oliver stops Helena from shooting the leader of the triad. The last thing Starling City needs is a mob war and Helena has no problem putting all the innocent people at risk. He manages to convince her to talk to him.

 

“I have weakened my father’s organization to the point if the Triad comes after him it will fall.”

 

“Then you’ll have your revenge?”

 

“I’ll have justice,” she corrects.

 

“It’s not justice.”

 

“And what is it you do?”

 

“Let me show you. Let me show you there is another way.”

 

“Look, before we do this...whatever this is we should get this out of the way. I kissed you and you shot me down. We’re not anything and I don’t owe you a thing.”

 

“I’m getting involved with someone else. You’re my friend and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

 

“I’ll be fine once I’ve gotten back at my father.”

 

“What if I could show you another way, a way you could take down your father’s organization without putting innocent people at risk like my mother?”

 

“I’ll listen. No promises.”

* * *

 

Oliver knows he only has a brief window to help Helena stop. She’s standing on a line that divides the right and wrong, good and evil. He’s been toeing that line for years and he’s still not sure which side he’s on. He’s done terrible things but some of those things have been done to protect others. How will he know when he has gone too far?

 

“Last time we spoke you were off to talk Helena from her one-woman war against organized crime. A bunch of Bertinelli’s men were found with their necks snapped. I assume it went poorly?” Diggle sits down across from Oliver and waits.

 

“I was with her when she was jumped. We didn’t have a choice.”

 

“We? Oliver this is not just your secret anymore. She’s a killer. She’s been dropping bodies all over the city and you just want to what? Help her?”

 

“She’s not what you think she is. She tried to turn her father in and her father had her fiance killed when he thought it was Michael.”

 

“That’s heavy man but that doesn’t change who she is.”

 

“I can save her. She’s lost and I can stop her from doing anything reckless.”

 

“You can’t save her okay? Some people don’t change. Either way all of this, it ends badly.”

 

“I have to try Dig.”

 

“Well while you sit here and confuse right and wrong Oliver, you can call Ms. Smoak.” Diggle finally says. He tosses Oliver the phone with a grunt. “I’m not your secretary.”

 

“What?”

 

“Felicity called this morning while you were trying to convince Helena not to murder people. She wants to talk to you about dinner. She seems nice.”

 

“She’s going to cancel our date.”

 

“Maybe. Why should you care? You have your project with Helena.”

 

“I hurt her last night. I had a nightmare and I almost strangled her.”

 

“And how did she react?”

 

“She...she understood.”

 

“There you go. You’re sitting down here so concerned with Helena and her revenge that you’ve forgotten you have a woman who is asking you for nothing. It seems like you have the wrong priorities.”

 

Diggle left him sitting there and Oliver wondered if Diggle would be back. He needed to help Helena. He knew what it meant to be drowning in anger and hate and pain. He couldn’t let her lose herself and change into something terrible.

 

The phone rang and he waits, sighing. She was going to end things. They hadn’t even started yet but he’d known when she held him the night before. That would be the last time. There was no way she would want to spend time with a man who almost killed her.

 

“Oliver,” she breathed. “Sorry I’m laying upside down working on a computer right now.”

 

“Should I call back?”

 

“No..no! I just wanted to explain why I sound weird.” She drops silent for a second and he hears a clatter in the background. “Sorry I almost stabbed myself with a screwdriver. How are you?”

 

“I’m okay.”

 

“Oliver stop acting weird. You had a nightmare, almost strangled me, and then we slept on the floor for a few hours. What you do that with every girl? Way to make me feel like one of the many!”

 

“You’re not one of the many. You’re the only.”

 

“Well that’s...that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I...wanted to know about dinner. We didn’t talk about it.”

 

“I just figured you wouldn’t want to go to dinner after last night.”

 

“Of course I do. It’s not your fault Oliver. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything.”

 

“I hurt you Felicity.”

 

“Oliver did you mean to hurt me?”

 

“Well no but I--”

 

“Do you want to hurt me?”

 

“Well no--”

 

“Then I want you to take me to dinner. I’m going to wear something pretty and sit in a chair instead of the floor. I’m not going to be wearing pjs this time.”

 

“You look nice in pjs.”

 

“...that’s not fair. I have to fix four more computers, attend two meetings and fix my supervisor’s computer because he’s too busy with actual work to do so. Now I get to think about you and pjs and kissing.”

 

“Will there be kissing?”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“Tonight. 7?”

 

“Tell me where and I’ll meet you. It’s not because I think you’re a crazy serial killer who will take me to an abandoned part of town and use your serial killer kit on me because I’ve had you in my apartment but more like I’ll have to get ready at work and meet you there.”

 

“I’ll leave my serial killer kit at home, I promise.”

 

“Good. So it’s a date?”

 

“It’s a date. Oh and Oliver? I look amazing out of Pjs too.”

 

She hangs up before he can respond. He knows she meant other clothes but his mind jumps to the only logical place. It’s a long time before Oliver Queen heads out to talk to Helena and even then he’s not sure his mind is present.

* * *

 

“I don’t want to talk Oliver.” 

 

“I just want you to listen Helena.” He’s taken her to Sara’s grave. The story is short but he hopes it will make an impact. Revenge is the only way to get people hurt. She needs to change her ways like he changed his.

 

She’s not skilled with a bow. She’s barely able to keep her focus on the task at hand while he tries to train her. She wants the impact of a gun and she’s unwilling to wait for the training to kick in. She’s frustrated and quickly favors the crossbow. It’s click and shoot. 

 

“Our crusades are similar. Mine started with my father too. He left me with a list and a goal to remind people that Starling City isn’t theirs for the taking.”

 

She flips through the list, marking names she knows. She’s circling Anthony Venza’s name when Diggle comes in.

 

“Helena, this is Diggle my associate.”

 

“Well any associate of Oliver’s is--”

 

“Absolutely nothing to you ma’am.” Diggle shoots Oliver a look and Helena gets the picture. She’s out of the room quickly, grabbing her crossbow on the way out.

 

“I love the fact the crazy revenge girl knows my name.”

 

“You can trust her.”

 

“I thought you were going after the IT girl? Now it’s the revenge girl?”

 

“No but that’s not really any of your business.”

 

“Oliver, you brought me into this and you need to keep your head straight. You’re like an addict trying to handle your own addiction by trying to save another addict. You can’t change her. She’s already too far gone.”

 

“You done?”

 

“Yeah I’m done.”

* * *

 

He manages to convince Diggle to monitor Helena’s activities. Diggle makes it clear he’s not interested in dealing with Helena but he’s willing to keep an eye on her. After the Venza drug bust, Diggle is sure Helena will go after the triad. Oliver hopes not. He hopes she can find the other way.

 

She loves her new costume and brandishes her crossbow with pride. She was happy with the Venza takedown and never went too far. Oliver has high hopes and wonders for the first time if maybe saving Helena will prove to himself he’s not broken. 

 

The restaurant is packed and Oliver doesn’t see Felicity. He’s early for the first time in forever and he’s at a loss. The hostess assures him they’ll get him a table.. He heads for the bar to wait for Felicity and finds Tommy and Laurel instead.

 

“Tommy? What are you doing here?”

 

“Waiting for a table and starving,” Laurel offers as she steps around Oliver. “We’ve been waiting forever for a table.”

 

“It’s opening night Laurel. We’ll get a table soon.” Laurel rolls her eyes but looks up at Oliver questioningly.

 

“I haven’t seen you in awhile. How’s your Mom?”

 

“Good.” Oliver’s distracted. He keeps looking for her. He’s afraid she’ll stand him up after last night. Even though she said she wants to be here, he can’t help but wonder if she was trying to be polite.

 

“So Oliver, hot date?” Tommy asks. “I mean you didn’t come here to eat with your bodyguard right?”

 

“I…” He sees her then. Her red dress shows off her legs and there is just a tease of cleavage. He’s seen her in pjs but there is something different about seeing her looking like this for him. Her hair is down, piled over her shoulder and her shoes shimmer in the date-night lighting. She is without her glasses and she’s fumbling with her clutch, tucking her phone away. She’s beautiful and he’s rendered speechless. She doesn’t see him and he just watches her while Tommy attempts to find more peanuts for Laurel to munch on.

 

She smiles at him in that odd little subconscious way she does the moment she sees him. The room seems to part for her or at least his mind is so wrapped up in how amazing she looks and the fact she’s here, it seems like it does. He barely hears Laurel and Tommy when she reaches him. His hand slips down her arm and he’s kissing her again. She squeaks in surprise but he can feel her clutch against his back. 

 

“Hi.” she whispers when he pulls back. He scrutinizes her neck but sees no marks. “I told you you didn’t hurt me.”

 

“Good.” He hugs her tighter for a second and jumps when Tommy clears his throat. “You look amazing.”

 

“Thank you. Sorry I’m late. My boss spilled a coffee on his laptop.”

 

“Poor guy.”

 

“The lack of bullet holes helped. Did you ever find a better coffee shop?”

 

“No. I might need an excuse to come see you.”

 

“Ollie, seriously, get a room,” Tommy’s voice is a little loud and Felicity blushes an adorable shade of red. Her eyes drop to her shoes while Oliver turns to face Tommy and Laurel. Tommy seems amused but a little uncomfortable with the scene while Laurel has an unreadable expression on her face.

 

“Sorry. Felicity Smoak, this is Tommy Merlyn and Laurel Lance.” Felicity reaches out to shake their hands. Laurel goes quickly but Tommy clasps her hand.

 

“Wait you’re pajama girl!”

 

“Well that’s flattering,” she mumbles. “I told you I’ve become pajama girl in your life.”

 

“There are worse things,” Oliver replies.

 

“You are! You’re the girl that yelled at Oliver when he had that almost going to jail party,” Tommy is delighted. Laurel is looking at Oliver’s hand linked with Felicity’s. He’s not even sure what to make of that. Felicity is talking to Tommy and being adorable with one handed gestures. A few times she raises their linked hands as she describes the traffic getting here.

 

Oliver checks with the hostess but the place is packed and no amount of money is going to move things along. He stands next to Felicity listening to her charm Tommy and reveal all kinds of odd things about herself. She shudders when she talks about kangaroos and he can’t help but kiss her again. 

 

“Tommy we’ve been here an hour and we’re not even seated yet,” Laurel says suddenly. “Maybe we should just go.”

 

“No. Laurel I...I’ll go ask again,” Tommy goes to move and Felicity reaches out to stop him.

 

“Big Belly Burger is down the street. We could all just grab burgers?” Tommy and Laurel look somewhat horrified by the suggestion. They’re at the hottest opening in months and she wants fast food.

 

“That sounds amazing,” Oliver pays the bar tab and waits for Felicity to grab her clutch. He tucks her close to him knowing they’re heading into the Glades and while he can defend her, he doesn’t want to court disaster.

 

He hears Tommy and Laurel following them and sighs. This is not what he wanted tonight. Felicity babbles next to him, telling him about her day and the screwdriver that almost stabbed her. It takes him a second to realize she’s asking him about his day. He answers as simply as possible leaving out the majority of information about Helena. No good can come from that discussion.

 

He finally tells her a story about Thea when she was younger and how the two of them got into so much trouble. Felicity laughs at the story while Tommy and Laurel are quiet behind them. Periodically Tommy interjects his own memories of Speedy but Laurel remains silent.

 

“You love your sister very much,” Felicity said. “It must be difficult to relate being so far apart in age.”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve loved her since she came home from the hospital. I’d do anything for her.”

 

“I’m an only,” she offers. “Just me and my mom.” Before he can ask about her father, they’re entering Big Belly Burger and eying the cooking food with hunger.

 

Carly seats them at Big Belly Burger. The girls take the interior of the booth with the guys on the outside. Carly asks him where Diggle is and he mentions giving him the night off.

 

“He seems like a good guy,” Felicity says. “He seems to understand you.”

 

“Yeah Dig has an interesting perspective,” Oliver replies. “Dig knows what it is like to come back from something life-changing. Special Forces…”

 

“Wow. So he’s not the person from last night? You seem to respect him.”

 

“No not Diggle.” She chatters on while they look at the simple menu telling him how Diggle seems to be a good friend. 

 

Soon enough they have their food and Felicity is all smiles and energy. He’s quiet, watching her tell Tommy about M.I.T. and answering any question Oliver throws out. She’s practically an open book except for the occasional skirting of a topic. She’s careful talking about her family but she’s gesturing wildly when she describes her newly built computer. Her hand falls to his knee under the table and before she can pull it back, he’s holding it there. 

 

“So you really filled your father’s pool with beer? How many cases did that take?” Felicity seems completely baffled by the amount of wealth being discussed. It’s like a foreign world. Oliver is smiling and laughing at some of Tommy’s old stories and for a while it seems normal again.

 

“About a thousand.” 

 

“I thought your Dad was going to kill you.” Oliver laughs. “He was so angry.”

 

“It was close but drowning in beer? What a way to go.”

 

“So how did you two meet?” Laurel asks suddenly.

 

“I ruined a computer and Oliver rescued me,” Felicity replies. “Saved my job.”

 

“I’ve seen you work. You would have fixed it.” 

 

“My skills are amazing. So how did you and Tommy meet?”

 

“Oh we’ve all known each other for years. Grew up together.” Laurel answers. 

 

“Too long sometimes,” Tommy says bitterly. “So--”

 

“So how’s the nightclub coming Ollie?” Laurel breaks in again suddenly. Felicity looks surprised but she just chews on a few fries while she follows the conversation.

 

“Slower than I expected. I’ve been...distracted.” He knows Laurel and Tommy thinks he means Felicity and on some level he does. He’s been distracted by her and the potential she offers. 

 

“Well then you must be happy to have the extra help.” 

 

“Laurel I’m sure Oliver doesn’t want to talk about work right now,” Tommy says quickly. “So Felicity you said you’re from Vegas?”

 

“You didn’t ask him? I can believe you Tommy. Tommy said he was going to talk to you about working for you at your night club.”

 

“Really?” Oliver laughs. At Tommy’s face he stops. “Sorry I didn’t think you wanted any responsibility.”

 

“You’ve always wanted to get into business with Tommy,” Laurel says. “Remember Aspen and the ski lodge?”

 

“You working for me could be fun,” Oliver offers quietly. Tommy storms off at that point and Laurel makes apologies as she races after him. 

 

“Not to make light of the clearly issue-ridden fight there, but this is the nicest date I’ve been on in awhile,” Felicity says. “Seriously, I’ve been on some really terrible dates since college. Horrifying really.”

 

“Can I get the two of you anything else?” Carly interrupts.

 

“Yeah. Can you find like a really big bowl and just fill it with chocolate ice cream? Sprinkles and chocolate fudge and two spoons? This is an ice cream kind of date right now. No nuts though. I’m allergic.” Oliver kisses her again as Carly goes off to get the ice cream. “What?”

 

“Nothing. You just make me happy.” 

 

“You know Laurel is still in love with you right?” she says suddenly. She doesn’t seem upset.

 

“No.”

 

“Trust me she is.”

 

“Well it’s over between us.”

 

“I’m just saying it’s an issue that will come up again.”

 

The ice cream is a great end to the date. Tommy and Laurel never come back and there is no word from Diggle surrounding Helena.  He finds himself telling her about the early days on the island. He skips Yao Fei and Fyers but manages to convey the hunger and thirst. She slips closer when he talks about building a grave for his father. 

 

The cab they share is over too fast and he’s walking to her door. He knows she’s thinking about inviting him in but he wants to do right about her. Their goodbyes are lengthy, pressed against her door. 

 

“When can I see you again?” he manages between goodbyes. Her forehead is pressed to his and her eyes are still shut. “When?”

 

“I’m free Wednesday night.”

 

“I’ll be free,” he murmurs. “I’ll make sure of it.”

 

He regretfully lets her go into her apartment and walks away from her door. He doesn’t make it out of the building before it hits him. He’s falling in love. He can’t fall in love right now. The list and his mission should come first. He jumps when his phone rings. It’s Diggle calling about the deaths of various triad members that springs him into action. He’ll worry about Felicity later. Right now he needs to deal with Helena.

* * *

 

Helena’s been dropping bodies all over the city. Oliver’s been tracking her progress and knows it is only a matter of time before she finds the triad leader. He’s called Diggle, leaving him a message asking for his help back at the lair. He needs to locate Helena before she starts a gang war in the Glades.

 

“I should have listened to you.” Diggle doesn’t say a word as he comes to sit in front of a suited-up Oliver. “You were right about everything.”

 

“Oliver you said you wanted to help her change but the thing is she already did. When her father killed her fiance, she changed into something dark and twisted.”

 

“I wanted to believe I could help her. Maybe the universe owed me one.”

 

“She’s already crossed the line Oliver. She’s not trying to save the city or protect people. She’s after her own vendetta no matter the cost.”

 

“What am I supposed to do?”

 

“What you have to. Protect our city.”

* * *

 

The triad leader is murdered. Oliver knows it was Helena and she’s now going to sit back and watch the war. She’ll be close to her father for her final revenge. He stops her before she manages to kill her father. He watches her own father shoot her with her crossbow and for a moment considers killing the man. It goes against everything he is trying to stand for but the man deserves some pain. His bow hitting the man calms Oliver down.

 

Helena comes to and wants nothing to do with Oliver. She’s pushing him away and gathering her things around the lair.

 

“He should be dead!” she yells in the space. 

 

“He’s a criminal Helena. He’ll go to prison for a long time. The police have the laptop”

 

“That’s not enough Oliver. He needs to pay and I’m not going to stop. You aren’t going to stop me.”

 

“You think because you’ve killed Helena, you understand what it is like to have blood on your hands. You have no idea what that does to you especially when it is your father’s.”

 

“You’re fooling yourself. I saw you with that blonde trying to pretend you can be normal. You are so desperate to feel normal again that you are pretending you can have it all. You can’t. Neither of us can. It’s the mission or nothing.”

 

“What you want isn’t justice Helena!”

 

“No it’s not. It’s revenge and that’s what I want. You can keep pretending that she’ll accept you and you can have the white picket fence while shooting people with arrows. One of these days she’ll see you for what you are  and then you’ll wish you listened to me.”

 

“Helena!”

 

“If I see you again, I’ll expose you. Stay away from me Oliver.”

* * *

 

Diggle slides into the booth, grabbing a fry from the basket. They sit in silence for a moment as Diggle assesses the situation. He’s good at that. 

 

“You know Oliver I’m no expert at this but I don’t think love is about changing or saving a person. I think it’s about finding the person who’s already the right fit.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Helena filled your head with crap. She told you how the island changed you, made you filled with hate and anger. She wants revenge over justice. She’s managing to make you rethink your entire mission right now.”

 

“Your point?”

 

“Felicity Smoak. You are so worried about healing or being better for her that you’ve missed your stop. Helena messed you up with all her crap and you’re still thinking you’re broken. You’re not broken Oliver. You’re trying to figure out how you fit in the world.”

 

“What if I am like Helena?”

 

“You’re opening up and taking a risk. There are no promises in life. Stop worrying about all the things you cannot change and just accept the fact that girl seems to like who you are now.”

 

“What if I hurt her or am too....damaged?”

 

“I’d let her be the judge of that.” Diggle smiles when Carly puts some food down in front of him Munching on fries he continues “Maybe she’s just the first of many or maybe Felicity Smoak is the girl you’re going to share everything with. Why knows? Let her tell you when you’ve gone too far. For now see where it takes you and when you get closer then decide if you can trust her with your secrets. Trust me Oliver, your secrets are going to matter eventually.”

* * *

 

Oliver doesn’t like thunder ever since the island and he listened to it rumbling from the living room. He knew he probably wouldn’t sleep during the storm. That was fine. He had plenty to think about now that Helena had fled Starling City. He thought he could help her but in the end he failed her and himself. There was also the discussion with Diggle to give thought. He still had a long way to go to be the man he wants to be.

 

“Hey.” Tommy is hesitant as he enters the room. “I’m sorry about last night.”

 

“I shouldn’t have let it get that far,” Oliver says forgiving Tommy. “I should have not let us eat together.”

 

“I’ve been stupid. My dad...he cut me off. I’m living on fumes.”

 

“Why didn’t you say something? My trust fund is your trust fund.”

 

“No. That’s the easy way. I want to prove I can do this Oliver. I’m almost thirty years old and I’ve never had any responsibility. I just want a job.”

 

“Done.”

 

“Thanks man.”

 

“Always Tommy.”

 

“So Felicity what’s going on there?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m seeing her again on Wednesday.”

 

“Good. I don’t know what’s going on with me and Laurel but you...you deserve to move on from our weirdly incestuous romances.”

 

“Tommy. I hope everything works out between you and Laurel.”

 

“Me too. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so Laurel came off a bit bitchy. Here's the thing. I'm not anti-Laurel. As a character she grows on me. The thing is, I watched her scenes in this episode 4 times and I'm sorry she's totally bitchy at the restaurant and to Tommy. The fact no one called her on it bums me out.
> 
> I rewrote the date scene three times before this one. The other ones were way too similar to the Helena/Oliver/Laurel/Tommy date and they didn't feel right. Oliver/Felicity dress up and go to dinner in the show but I always picture them at Big Belly Burger or sitting at home. It's just more intimate.
> 
> Next up is the holiday party and the introduction of the Dark Archer. Thanks for reading!


	9. Falling (1.09)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--to survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

“Mmm…”

 

“God!” 

 

“Yes...a little harder. Come on. Come on!”

 

“NO!”

 

“Yes! Suck it Queen!” Felicity smiles over him. “Do not try to out arcade me!”

 

“I’ve learned my lesson.” She’s all smiles when he helps her out of the racing game chair. It’s just a normal date night and for once he’s just thrilled Diggle hasn’t called him about somebody doing something that requires the Hood. 

 

“I held the high score on every game at the one arcade in Vegas. I think the owners thought I was a glitch in the system since my scores were so good. I created this device that made all my games free that summer.”

 

“So I’m dating a criminal?”  

 

“Yes! World domination through arcade games. First this pier and then the city. Mwahaha!” 

 

They’re still laughing when they go up to trade in their tickets. Her stack is definitely bigger. She gives him a deck of cards, a race car eraser, and a slinky watching as he tucks each prize in his pocket. His answer is a glitter spinning top and a plastic bracelet. He slips it on her wrist and she acts like it’s made of diamonds before grabbing his hand to tug him down the pier.

 

He purposely misses on the dart game before managing an incredibly lucky balloon burst. Lucky to her at least. He hands her the teddy bear and she hugs it tight. Her other hand is linked with his as they wander down the pier. It’s been years, even before the island, since he’s been here. He has vague memories of Thea running ahead of him and Laurel and Tommy but they’re fuzzy at best.

 

He can’t remember the last time he had funnel cake but when she tugs him over to the cart, he can’t say no. Plus he takes great pleasure in helping to remove all the powdered sugar from her lips. He feels like a teenager again. They have been taking things slow, enjoying their time together and getting to know each other. It has been torture and he has been through torture. Somehow by waiting, they’ve put it on hold indefinitely and neither seems willing to mess with the status quo. 

 

“Oliver?”

 

“Mmm…”

 

“These last few weeks have been amazing.”

 

“But?”

 

“No buts. I just wanted you to know.” 

 

Later, she’s still clutching the bear when he’s kissing her goodnight. It’s only Diggle’s call that stops him from going inside. Someone’s on the move and tonight they do not want to mess with the Hood. He’s frustrated and by the look in her eyes when he says goodnight, he’s not the only one.

* * *

 

“Nice!” Diggle and Oliver are sparring and Oliver can’t stop smiling. Diggle reacts in kind and soon the two are just laughing about nothing, enjoying the quiet day in the dark, gloomy lair.

 

“You crossed 3 names off your father’s list this week alone.”

 

“Yeah well some of these guys are just giving it up now. All I gotta do is pay ‘em a visit.”

 

“It seems the vigilante’s reputation is beginning to precede him.” After Oliver bests him, the two work their way back towards the computers. Oliver is sitting there, smiling at the slinky on his desk. “I thought after Helena you might be doing all this to escape your weird sense of failure. You’re smiling though. Felicity?”

 

“Yeah. I’m seeing her this weekend. Another round?”

 

“Nah. I gotta take my nephew over to the mall so he can let Santa know what he wants for Christmas.”

 

“Christmas,” Oliver sighs. “I didn’t even realize.”

 

“Between being the Hood and spending time with Felicity, I’m not surprised. You barely see your family.”

 

“They’re busy. I...There were no holidays on the island. Every day was about survival so I had to forget things like Christmas or birthdays. My dad threw this party every year with a tree in each room. It was...the whole house smelled like Christmas.”

 

“So take a break from the Hood and spend time with your girl and your family. Let St. Nick reward you for being nice this year.”

 

Oliver sits there smiling and plays with his slinky, rolling it from hand to hand as he leans back in his chair. All he’s thinking about is spending some time with Felicity under the mistletoe and maybe, just maybe unwrapping a present.

* * *

 

“You look pretty,” Oliver offers when Thea walks towards him. She does look pretty and she’s smiling. It’s so rare to see the Queens smiling he can’t help but wonder if it has to do with Christmas.

 

“Mom and Walter are having a dinner party. I’ve put in my two hours, your turn brother.”

 

“Thea why are there no decorations around the house? No trees or wreaths. There’s no evidence it’s even Christmas.”

 

“I’m sure everyone has just been busy,” Thea looks uncomfortable. “I’m sure they’ll get to it soon.”

 

“Does Mom at least have some of those boxes of candy canes? Remember we used to race?”

 

“I always won.”

 

“Cheater.”

 

“Mom went sugar free last year so...I doubt it.”

 

She walks away before Oliver can come up with a response. He misses Christmas. More than he realized before now. He can barely remember his last Christmas before the island. He remembers Laurel and him spending time in front of the fire place and later Sara. He can remember Thea wanting a laptop that year but he can’t...he can’t remember any of his presents. He can’t remember dinner or the tree. It’s all a blank. 

 

He shakes his head and heads into the dinner party, slipping into Thea’s vacated seat. He’s thinking about Christmas when he hears the discussion turn to the vigilante. 

 

“What are your thoughts Oliver?” He looks around before glancing back to Tommy’s father. He looks expectant.

 

“I think he needs a better code name than ‘The Hood’. Something catchier.”

 

“What about the Green Arrow?”

 

“Lame.”

 

Walter excuses himself and Oliver watches as the police commissioner tries to take credit for the lower crime rate. Oliver’s not really listening. There are no poinsettias in the room either. His mother used to put them everywhere. There’s no indication it is even December other than the fire roaring in the fireplace. 

 

When the police commissioner reveals the vigilante has struck again, murdering Adam Hunt, Oliver almost doesn’t react. It’s only Diggle’s call that gets him moving. Standing outside Hunt’s murder scene, he hears Detective Lance admit he thinks it’s a copycat. Another archer is in town.

 

He discusses it with Dig, revealing the archer is legitimate. Only a legitimate archer would use the tools required to get those results. The list will have to wait. Right now he needs to deal with the copycat and for that he needs an arrow from evidence.

* * *

 

“I didn’t kill Adam Hunt.” Oliver is not sure how Detective Lance will react to the phone call. He listens to the angry breathing, pleased when he doesn’t hang up. “You call me the Hood. It’s not a great nickname. You told the Commissioner this is a copycat. He’s an archer which makes me your best bet.”

 

“We’ll get him.” Lance practically snarls.

 

“You’re not as good as me. I can do things you can’t. Go places you won’t go. I need an arrow from evidence.”

 

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t trust you.”

 

“The archer might not stop with Adam Hunt. If he doesn’t then we have a problem. Think about it. Call me.”

 

He doesn’t wait for a response. He’s having lunch with Thea and he has another issue to deal with.

 

“Thea you can slow down.”

 

“There should be a national holiday for the guy who invented French fries. These are so good.”

 

“Thea...there’s no Christmas party is there? Do people just think I wouldn’t notice.”

 

“It’s not like you’re around much anyway.”

 

They’re interrupted by a guy who eyes Thea like she’s half-naked. Oliver knows that look. He remembers that look on his own face when he was a teenager. Thea shoots the guy down but has no interest in talking about it with Oliver. He’s just her annoying, overprotective brother.and boys are not on their approved topics.

 

“So the Christmas party?”

 

“When you and dad disappeared, by the time Christmas rolled around we just didn’t celebrate. We’ve skipped it since. It’s fine.”

 

“It’s really not.”

 

Oliver watches Thea go into the living room once they’re home. He has plans to make but first he needs a little courage. He’s sitting on his bed, thumbing through his contacts until hitting the one he wants.

 

“I’m elbow-deep in computer parts so this will have to be quick,” she says. “Somebody thought it would be a good idea to try and fix the 19th floor computers themselves. If I find them…”

 

“Should I call you back?” he murmurs. She sighs and he hears the clatter of something hitting metal.

 

“No. No. I can take a break. Serves them right for messing with my computers.”

 

“Your computers? Don’t they belong to QC?”

 

“Next time they can call you then.”

 

“You’re funny when you’re angry.”

 

“This close to hanging up Queen.”

 

“I just wanted to hear your voice. I found out something about my family today that’s my fault.”

 

“Mmm...Oliver Queen blaming himself again. Is it a day that ends in y? It is.”

 

He laughs. He feels like he’s always laughing with her. Even when they are bickering he’s smiling. It’s so unexpected after so long. They talk a little bit about the movie she wants to see and their plans for their next date before they hang up. He feels better now and knows how to handle the problem of Christmas.

 

He manages to gather his family in the living room. All three of them are watching him wearily and he knows it’s time to get things straight.

 

“We’re celebrating Christmas. I spent five years on an island with no holidays and now Thea tells me you guys didn’t have it either. I was the reason you didn’t celebrate and now I can be the reason we do.”

 

“Oliver it’s not necessary,” his mother looks to Walter but he’s glancing at his phone.

 

“No. I know I haven’t been the son or stepson or brother all of you deserve. I want to throw the Queen Christmas Party. All of you just need to show up ready to celebrate and I’ll take care of everything else.”

 

They all agree even Thea, the holdout. He wants this. He’s on the phone with decorators moments later, caterers a little later. He’s going to deck the house with so much Christmas cheer his family will never want to skip Christmas again. The archer can wait a little longer.

* * *

 

He retrieves the arrow from the vent, left by Detective Lance. Like his own arrows, these are custom-made. They’re not unexpected. This archer is an artist in his craft and any archer would want the best quality equipment. The arrows might be able to be traced. Unfortunately that level of computer knowledge is beyond him. It’s not beyond his girl through.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Don’t you knock?!” She practically falls out of her chair at the interruption. She locks her computer and turns to greet him, kissing him.

 

“I didn’t realize I needed to knock to see you in an open-door office.”

 

“Well next time assume I’m distracted and knock.” She slips back into her chair and looks at him expectantly. “You called me earlier and didn’t mention stopping by. What do I owe the pleasure. Visit the coffee shop again?”

 

“No. My friend Steve is really into archery and he buys these custom arrows. I’d really like to know where he gets them.”

 

“This matches an arrow from the Adam Hunt murder,” she says when she looks at them. “Your friend Steve doesn’t happen to run around in a hood and shoot people does he?”

 

“I got this one from his house so...how do you know what the weapon was in the Hunt murder?”

 

“Late night hobby. These are remarkably similar.”

 

“Could you find out where and when this was purchased?”

 

“Oliver...why would you need to know when these were purchased?”

 

“If he just ordered a whole bunch of them, the gift is kind of silly.” She gives him that look, the one that says she doesn’t quite believe him. She doesn’t call him on it but it’s just another thing she’s noting about him and the Hood. He’s going to have to tell her soon and then it will probably be over. 

 

“This arrow was part of a bundle shipment, sent to this address.”

 

“Felicity you are simply remarkable.”

 

“Thank you for remarking on it.” He leans down over the computer and kisses her, cupping her head with one hand. She clutches his shirt and sighs contentedly. He steps back when he hears the thrum of office voices. They can’t do this here.

 

“I’m throwing the Queen Christmas party this year...Saturday. You should come. I’d like to introduce you to my family.”

 

“We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

 

“Six weeks but we’ve been seeing each other since I got back. We just hadn’t defined it.”

 

“Okay. I have to work but I’ll come by.”

 

“Merry Christmas Felicity.”

 

“I’m Jewish.”

 

“Happy Hanukkah Felicity.”

* * *

 

The warehouse is empty or at least devoid of an archer or any evidence to help find him. Instead he deals with the bomb before heading to his party. It’s tense. He doesn’t know why. Everyone is acting strangely. Walter and his mother seem to be fighting and Thea is more interested in the teenage douchebag to even bother with the party.

 

He manages to get one family photo but it’s not the same. None of it is the same. He’s looking for Felicity but he knows it’s too early. She’s probably still at work and if he calls her then she’ll be even later. It’s only Tommy and Laurel coming in that distracts him.

 

They exchange Merry Christmases, hugs, and other greetings. Oliver smiles at their closeness. It’s good they worked out whatever was going on between them the last time he saw them together.

 

“So how long do you guys think it’ll be until this isn’t so weird?” Tommy asks. Laurel and Oliver chuckle. It is still weird. “How’s Felicity?”

 

Laurel stops chuckling and looks away. Oliver glances around and turns back to Tommy.

 

“She had to work. She’s coming later.”

 

“You look happy man. Things getting serious?”

 

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’d like them to. She’s meeting my family tonight.”

 

“Big step Ollie.”

 

“Yeah.” It is. He knows it is but he’s okay with it. He wants to share this with her. He wants her with him during dinner and during the obligatory speech he’ll need to make. Laurel and Tommy head off to get drinks and some food and Oliver is left standing there thinking. It’s too soon to be in love, right?

 

Laurel’s back before he can begin to unpack his feelings. She wants to talk.

 

“I know it’s probably not easy for you to see Tommy and me together.” It’s an odd statement and he doesn’t have time to figure out what she’s saying.

 

“The invite was plus one Laurel.”

 

“I’ve been wanting to move forward with Tommy but something’s holding me back. I keep making excuses but it’s been you Ollie. I’ve…”

 

“Laurel I’m happy for you both. We’re all moving on. It’s time.” He kisses her cheek and pulls back. “I’m happy.”

 

“Right...right.” Tommy’s back before Laurel can say anything else and Oliver sets off to find Thea. He finds her exactly where he doesn’t want to find her, the douchebag date pawing her like he paid for her. It’s sickening.

 

“Hit the road.” The guy runs out of there at Oliver’s look. It’s Thea that makes him pause. “What are you doing? There’s a party downstairs that I threw for you.”

 

“Well I didn’t want the party Ollie but you didn’t care. You have the holiday blues and you wanted to feel better. We’re never going to be normal again and you just keep trying to make us normal.”

 

“I didn’t realize you regretted me coming home. I...I just wanted to remember what it was like before all of this.”

 

“Ollie…”

 

“Sorry I ruined your night Thea.”

 

He doesn’t wait around for her to try and apologize or to get angrier. He just wants to go downstairs and try to get through the rest of the party.

 

“Oliver. It’s the archer.” Diggle catches him in the hall. “He took hostages and is demanding the Hood’s head.”

 

“Then I’ll go.”

 

“Oliver this guy is dangerous. You should let the police handle this.”

 

“I’m used to danger Diggle. I’m not going to let anyone die because of me.”

* * *

 

He feels the arrows puncture his body. The pain is excruciating and he knows one of the arrows broke a rib. His breathing is labored but he needs to get out of the warehouse. He breaks the arrows on a door frame hoping his small explosion took down the other archer. He can’t be sure. He just climbs through the window and collapses in the alley. 

 

He comes to quickly, reaching for a bow that is not nearby. Diggle’s over him.

 

“Relax. You’re fine. You’re in the hospital. I back-traced the signal and found you. I cleaned you up as best I could. You have a pneumothorax, three broken ribs, and a concussion but you’ll be fine. Someone’s here to see you.”

 

“Hi.” She’s dressed up and has no party to go to, not anymore. He tries to sit up but she holds up a hand. “Don’t move.” 

 

“Hey,” he rasps. “You look amazing.”

 

“I was on my way to your party when Dig called me. Thank you by the way.”

 

“He looked like he could use some cheering up.” Diggle steps out of the room, calling back. “I’ll head off your family so you can have a moment alone.”

 

“I’ll be gone before they get here,” she replies. She sits on the side of his bed and takes his hand in his. “Are you going to be okay?”

 

“I’m better already. You should stay.”

 

“I’m not meeting your family while you’re lying in a hospital bed. Now do you want your Christmas present?”

 

“I thought you were Jewish.”

 

“Really not the point,” she sits the box on the bed between them before standing. “I’ll see you when you’re feeling better. Try to sleep tonight.”

 

She kisses him and he can’t even reach up to touch her. His ribs are throbbing and he can only watch her slip an envelope in Dig’s pocket before slipping out of the room.

“What did you get?” he rasps. Diggle laughs.

 

“A one-night off from guarding Oliver Queen coupon. She says she’ll guard your body. I do not want to know man...about any of it.”

 

“Hah. Ow.”

 

“How about you? Here.” Diggle opens the box for him and tugs out two things wrapped in tissue paper. “This is a dreamcatcher...and a compass?”

 

“What?”

 

“Do you want me to read the note or is it private?”

 

“No go ahead. I...ah...can’t do it right now.”

 

“It says ‘to keep the bad dreams away and to help you find your way home when you feel lost’. That’s cute. I think you might have found a keeper.”

 

“Oliver!” He doesn’t have time to respond before he’s surrounded by Walter, his mom and his sister. Diggle slips the gifts back in the box, moving them to the bedside table.

 

“You left your own party,” his mother accuses softly.

 

“I brought up painful memories so I...it wasn’t the best time.”

 

“Ollie I don’t regret that you came home. I’m sorry I made you think that.”

 

“It’s okay Speedy.”

 

“It’s not. I don’t want you to think I don’t want you here. I always want you here.”

 

“Okay...I probably pushed too hard.”

 

“No Oliver,” Walter begins. “You wanted us to be closer and we are. Sadly you had to get hurt for that to happen.”

 

“Well you rest Oliver,” his mother kisses his brow. “Well come and get you in the morning.”

 

Walter and his mother leave the room but Thea stays. She tugs two candy canes out of her pocket and smiles.

 

“I know I’m hard on you Ollie. It’s been five years and we’re both different people. Sometimes I forget you weren’t just gone. You were...it's easier to forget.”

 

“Maybe we can just accept each other now?”

 

“Yeah...so I’m going to kick your butt.” The unwrapped candy cane is placed in his mouth and he smiles. She’s already twirling hers, sitting on the side of his bed.

* * *

 

Hours later Oliver struggles to his feet, using a cane to get around. Diggle is sitting in the armchair, paging through the list. Thea has been gone for awhile now and he can still taste the peppermint. She won again, cheated too, but he’s okay with that. 

 

“We might have a bigger problem than the archer.”

 

“What?”

 

“The archer told me someone compiled the list. I thought it was my father. If it wasn’t…”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I think there might be someone else out there. I’m going to stop him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit of a short chapter...sorry. I've been looking over the outline for awhile and honestly half the episode is taken up by flashbacks, Moira/Malcolm, Laurel/Quentin/Tommy, and other random characters (Commissioner, Applied Sciences guy, etc.). I'm working on chapter 10 which has no Felicity scenes (in the show). I've fixed it. She's in there now. 
> 
> For those of you who missed it, chapter 8 had a great discussion about the Laurel Lance character in the comments (and Tommy too). Check it out if you're interested. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Burn (1.10)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

“Have I mentioned how much I love watching you do that?” He laughs and for the first time in weeks doesn’t feel the twinge from his ribs. “I think it’s all the sweat.”

 

She slips down over him, straddling his stomach. He lies there looking up at her and just relaxes. He still hasn’t spent the night and they’ve been dancing around it for six weeks. At first it was his injuries, then it was Walter’s abduction, and now well...he wasn’t sure. 

 

“I am all sweaty,” he says when she leans down to kiss him. Her hands roam over his muscles and all he can think is how badly he wants to take her to bed. It’s right there, down the hall, second door, and then ten feet. He’s dreamed about it.

 

“I know. It’s amazing.” She squeaks when he rolls them over, sliding his hand down her body. Her tank top and yoga pants are tight and free of sweat. She lasted ten minutes into his workout before collapsing on the couch to watch him. Occasionally he caught her fanning herself and looking guilty.

 

“Do you only like me for my body?” His hand teases her waistband and he feels her foot slip over his calf. Her one hand is sliding up his shirt over the burned flesh and she doesn’t even pause. He had expected the scars to bother her but she never pauses, ever. She just touches him.

 

“I could ask you the same thing. I saw the way you looked at me in that dress the other night. My eyes were up here Mr. Queen.” She taps his nose playfully and he nips at it.  “You have to go soon.”

 

“Go?” He’s kissing her neck and he slips his hand under her yoga pants. He doesn’t get far before she tugs on the hand. He looks up at her questioningly. 

 

“You’re supposed to spend tonight with your Mom and sister right?”

 

“I forgot.” His head drops to her shoulder and he just rests there for minute. Finally with a sigh, he helps her off the floor and watches sadly as she tugs a t-shirt on over her workout clothes, knowing they once again are not going to make it to the bed. 

 

“Any word about your stepfather?”

 

“No.” She’s apologetic and holds him back for another 15 minutes when it comes time to say goodbye. It’s only his phone buzzing that finally convinces him to head out. Diggle needs to talk to him and he’s already running late.

* * *

 

“You’re back at fighting weight it looks like.” Diggle says entering the lair. “Last I checked there were more than a few names to cross off in this book.”

 

“They’ll keep. My family needs me right now.” Diggle says nothing as Oliver finishes changing and heads out to meet his family. He knows he’s disappointing Diggle but he’s not not ready to put on the Hood and get back to work.

 

“Mom’s upstairs in her room...like always,” Thea says when he arrives with take-out and a stack of DVDs. He sighs, dropping them off before heading upstairs.

 

“Hey Mom. I stopped by Big Belly Burger and brought home a bunch of terrible, terrible movies according to Thea. Why don’t you come down and we’ll watch a few and just have a family night?”

 

“Thank you. I’m not very hungry.”

 

“Well if you change your mind…” She doesn’t. He doesn’t expect her to. Instead it’s him and Thea sitting in front of some absolutely horrible piece of crap movie. She’s munching on fries and doing impressions. 

 

“How many times have you seen this Speedy?”

 

“I lost count. My friends all wanted sparkly vampire boyfriends. I think they’re insane.”

 

“Good call.”

 

They lapse into silence as he watches the movie. He’s been catching up over the past few weeks but usually he watches with Felicity. She’s a talker during movies, asking questions and pointing out inconsistencies. In the end he rarely knows how the movie ends because she’s gone off on a tangent and he’s too busy listening to her. Well that or they’ve gotten distracted in other ways.

 

“I wish Mom would come down. I’m worried about her.”

 

“I’ve been through this before Ollie. When you and Dad vanished she was just like this.”

 

“What snapped her out of it that time?”

 

“Walter. He just showed up and demanded she go to lunch with him. It worked. Ollie what if...what if Walter’s…?”

 

“We’ll keep waiting Thea. No news doesn’t mean bad news.” 

 

They both watch the discussion about the missing Starling City vigilante, deciding the movie has done enough damage to their evening. After a quick clean-up they head their separate ways. In his room he slips into bed and closes his eyes. Ten minutes later he’s tugging on his clothes and heading for the lair. He’s not going to sleep tonight.

* * *

 

The phone call from Laurel is surprising. As the Hood, he has a decisi on to make. Does he meet with Laurel or leave her without help. He wants to put on the Hood again but he keeps flashing on the other archer, of falling, of nearly dying. His anxiety has been good over the past few weeks. He’s been sleeping better, eating better, and finally feels like he’s healing. He still has nightmares and he still has issues but some nights he can pretend he’s normal again.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

“You said it was important.” Laurel tells him about the case but he’s barely listening. He shouldn’t have come. “So you want one killer to find another?”

 

“I...If Danny de La Vega was murdered, then we have to bring his killer to justice.”

 

“I’ll look into it.” He doesn’t make any promises. Instead he reads the file a few blocks away. It’s thin. There’s almost no evidence to support her allegation of wrongful death. The only indication is the fire burning hotter than it should have. Otherwise he can see why the police and fire marshal ruled them accidents.

 

He’s been avoiding Laurel since Christmas. He knows there is something wrong between them but he can’t understand what it is. He’s dating Felicity. She’s dating Tommy. It shouldn’t be weird anymore. They’ve both moved on.

 

Something else was bothering him about the visit to Laurel’s apartment. He had expected to see Tommy’s things around. It was almost like Laurel was not dating anyone at all.

 

He saw no evidence of Tommy in the apartment. He knows Tommy has been campaigning for a drawer but there is no evidence a man has even been staying there most nights. Oliver already has a drawer at Felicity’s and he doesn’t even spend the night. He keeps some workout clothes and a spare set of regular clothes after a cooking attempt went awry. He should have believed Felicity when she said she couldn’t cook. He didn’t know eggs could do that.

 

His room is littered with stuff from their time together. She hasn’t been to his place yet but he has various things she’s given him and a few pictures around the room. He’s bought a few things for her and cleared space for her but they just keep getting interrupted by life.

 

How can Laurel’s apartment be so empty of Tommy when he spends so much time there?

* * *

 

Diggle is thrilled to get the firemen case. Oliver knows Diggle thinks his head is in the game again but Oliver’s not sure.  He lets him think everything is going back to normal but he knows there is still something wrong. Felicity picked up on it the night before when they went to the movies. He played it off but he could see the concern in her eyes. He’s not fooling anyone.

 

“I took the liberty of yelling at our contractor,” Tommy says when Oliver makes his way into the center of the club. “I told him if we didn’t see any real progress, we were going to bring in someone else.”

 

“How’s Laurel’s friend?”

 

“She’s hanging in there. Actually I wanted to talk to you about something. I was thinking we could throw a fundraiser for the fire department.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“I was thinking here. We keep the overhead low and make sure we maximize the proceeds.”

 

“Where’s Tommy Merlyn? I remember that time he rented out the pro football stadium so he could play strip kickball with models.”

 

“Yeah well he needed a swift kick in his lazy ass.”

 

“So have you and Laurel talked about the drawer thing again?”

 

Tommy looks miserable and weary of the discussion. He hands over the piece of paper with his list of reasons and Oliver tries desperately to not laugh. He fails and for a second Tommy smiles in return.

 

“I don’t know what the issue is,” he finally says. “I’m asking for a drawer...not half her stuff. I just want to be able to leave a few shirts there or...maybe a bar of soap. She won’t even let me keep anything in her bathroom. I’m living out of a bag.”

 

“Have you explained this to her?”

 

“She’s so wrapped up in Jo right now and I don’t want to add to it.”

 

“You need to tell her how you feel Tommy.”

 

“Yeah...yeah I know.”

* * *

 

Oliver finds his mother, sister, and the COO of QC talking in the living room when he gets home. From what he can understand his mother is being asked to take Walter’s place at QC. The stock price is dropping and the confidence level is plummeting due to Walter’s disappearance. His mother does not want to hear it.

 

“He wants me to go to work at a time like this. I need to be with my family.” Moira Queen is not to be argued with over this and Oliver watches Thea roll her eyes.

 

“Mom we’re fine. Thea and I will be fine. You should do this.”

 

“Well I don’t care what the company needs. This is what I need.”

 

She storms past him and Thea slides onto the couch.

 

“You know...she’s worse this time I think.”

 

“She’ll be okay.”

 

“Sure she will. We’ll just keep holding the family together while she falls apart...again.”

 

He doesn’t have time to talk to her about this. Instead he’s off, sliding on his Hood and heading to rescue a fireman. He fails at that, hitting the ground hard and watching an innocent man be killed. He knows he should have been strong enough to save him. He should have made the difference. Instead he’s lying on the ground again, watching another bad guy win.

 

He tells Laurel to pass on the information about the firefly tattoos to the police. He can’t be her personal savior any more than he can be who he was five years ago. He’s not getting better and he can’t help but wonder if he ever will be.

 

Diggle attacks him suddenly and they grapple. For a second Oliver thinks he might lose. Diggle might actually beat him. He doesn’t and Oliver is angrier than he expects. That shouldn’t have happened.

 

“Clearly your problem isn’t physical,” Diggle rasps. He’s rubbing his shoulder and watching Oliver with those cool, assessing eyes of him. Diggle sees things Oliver doesn’t want him to see. 

 

“I don’t have a problem.”

 

“You didn’t have to Oliver. That guy...the archer? He got in your head and he took something from you. He took whatever is in your heart that lets you do what you do.”

 

“Thank you for the analysis.”

 

“Look you can avoid Laurel or Tommy or Thea or me but until you’re ready to take a hold of that fear, you might as well let the archer kill you.”

 

They storm upstairs in silence. Diggle is locking the door to the lair when Oliver hears the door to the club opening. He spins expecting Tommy and instead sees Felicity. She waves at him and he waves back.

 

“I took the liberty of calling her.” 

 

“Thanks Dig. I’ll take him from here.” She slips up next to him, pulling him into her embrace. She rubs his back gently until he finally relaxes and embraces her back. “Dig said you’ve been having trouble.”

 

“Trouble?”

 

“With your bike? After the accident he says you freeze up every time you try to get on your motorcycle. Why didn’t you just tell me? I never would have asked to go see a movie with the guy on the motorcycle. I didn’t realize that’s why you were so tense.” It was the action scenes in the abandoned warehouse that made him uncomfortable. He doesn’t correct her.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Oliver you’ve been acting weird ever since you got out of the hospital. At first I figured it was the pain pills and the rehab. Then you got better and still you’re different. It’s like you’re in a walking nightmare or something. You’re so stressed all the time.”

 

“I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

 

“I don’t think that’s possible. You’re an amazing man Oliver Queen. You’ve been through so much.”

 

“I’m terrified of...my bike. After the accident…” He’s careful choosing his words. He hates this lie. He can almost taste it. It’s twisted and vile and he wants more than anything to tell her the truth but he can’t. She’ll see him differently. She’ll see him like Laurel sees the vigilante. A killer. A monster. He’d rather be weak than see her look at him like he’s that.

 

“Did I tell you about when I screwed up my first computer repair?”

 

“No.” She leads him over to the few chairs in the place and settles him. She goes to sit in the other one but he tugs her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder. He feels calmer when he’s with her. He thinks it is the way she looks at him but he knows it’s the way she accepts him.

 

“Hmm...well I was fourteen and my Mom’s boss needed his computer fixed. It was riddled….riddled with viruses. It was scarring. So many pictures of things my young, innocent…okay so I had an imagination and was not nearly as innocent as I should have been. I’m a computer genius. I’ve seen things on the web Oliver.  Anyway I screwed it up and accidentally wiped his computer. Hey! Stop trying to feel me up and listen to the story.”

 

He doesn’t apologize when he kisses her either. She just kisses him back and then pulls back, arms around his neck staring at him accusingly. He steals another kiss but that’s the last she allows him.

 

“Sorry.” She looks so stern and like some secretarial fantasy with her hair cinched back and her glasses riding low on her nose. “Continue please.”

 

“I was so scared my mom was going to lose her job and we could not afford to...well we needed the money. I didn’t touch a computer for months after that. My mom finally convinced me back into it.”

 

“How?”

 

“She said it was who I was. Well she used some different analogies that I didn’t understand because I was a computer geek and not a fashionista but the point was the same. You like riding your motorcycle just like I like fixing computers. If you didn’t you wouldn’t get in nearly so many accidents. Speaking of which...can you stop doing that? Getting in accidents?”

 

“I’ll do my best.” He taps her nose and her worried look melts away. “I worried you. I didn’t mean to.”

 

“You really did.” She kisses him before stepping away from him. He holds her hand until she’s out of his grasp. She pats Diggle on the chest and smiles. “Thanks for calling me. Don’t be too hard on him.”

 

“I’ll try not to be,” Diggle assures her. She smiles back at Oliver.

 

“Take care of him.”

 

“I always do.”

 

She’s gone, slipping out the door and past Tommy. Before Diggle can continue their discussion Oliver is sent on an errand, to the fire company of all places.

* * *

 

He runs into Laurel unexpectedly. He’s not sure who is more surprised, him or her.

 

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

 

“I told Jo I’d clean out Danny’s locker.” It’s a lie. She’s investigating the murders because the Hood turned her down.  “You?”

 

“Tommy sent me over to make sure the guest list for the fireman's gala was accurate. Tommy’s been working really hard on it.”

 

“It’s very generous of you Oliver...to hold it at your club.”

 

“It’s all Tommy. I just signed off on it.”

 

“Yeah but without you…” It’s weird again and he can’t help but hear Felicity’s voice telling him Laurel is still in love with him. She can’t be. She’s with Tommy and the two of them have been over for a long time. Still she’s stepping closer to him.

 

“Speaking of Tommy, he told me you’re being very protective of your drawers.”

 

“You want to talk about Tommy sleeping over at my apartment?”

 

“We’re friends Laurel. Me and you. Me and him. He wanted my advice.”

 

“Why would he go to you? You never had a drawer.”

 

“You lived at home Laurel.”

 

“Fine. Tommy asked for a drawer.”

 

“And that scares you?”

 

“No. It’s just first a drawer then a closet. Then half my rent and half of life. I’m not sure I’m ready to do that...with Tommy.”

 

“You could take it slow. A drawer isn’t a marriage proposal.”

 

“I don’t do slow Ollie. Neither of us do. We close our eyes and jump. I think that’s why we spooked each other.”

 

She touches his chest and he steps back. She frowns. She steps closer and he angles away from her.

 

“I’m trying to be different Laurel. I think it’s my fault Tommy wants a drawer. We were talking and I mentioned having a drawer at Felicity’s.”

 

She shuts down at that statement, pulling away from him and turning towards the firehouse. She doesn’t say goodbye and he finally begins to believe what Felicity told him. It’s a problem he can’t deal with right now. 

 

He does follow her in because now he wonders if maybe he can finish the job on the firemen murders. He can’t just let Laurel handle it alone. She’ll get herself killed. The chief doesn’t want to talk about the deaths. He wants to put it behind him. Between Laurel and Oliver they find out about the Nodell Tower, the death of Garfield Lynns, and the beginning of it all.

 

When Laurel calls the Hood this time, he takes the case. He might have problems with Laurel as Oliver Queen but as the Hood he needs to protect innocent people and stop a killer.

* * *

 

“I thought you were done helping Laurel.” 

 

“The first firefly to die was Garfield Lynns.”

 

“Oliver I’m sorry I came at you so hard man. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to stare death in the face and be the one who blinks.”

 

Diggle really doesn’t get it. Oliver isn’t blinking. Oliver isn’t afraid to die. He hasn’t been afraid to die since he met Slade Wilson and Yao Fei. He always figured death was just around the corner. He knows one night he won’t come home. It’s just a question of when.

 

“I’ve been close to death Dig. I didn’t fear death on the island because I had nothing to lose. I was already dead to anyone who cared for me. But this time when that archer was standing over me, I thought of everyone. My family, Felicity, Tommy...what that would do to them if I didn’t come back home. I have something to lose Dig. I have everything to lose.”

 

“Maybe you have it backwards Oliver. You think the people you care about are taking your edge. Maybe it’s giving you a stronger one. It’s giving you the drive to come home, to live.”

 

They sit in silence while Oliver clicks around the research he has on the Nodell fire. He shares his idea with Diggle. Dig is rightfully skeptical but agrees it’s possible. No one is looking for a dead man.

* * *

 

He heads into the Firemen gala and looks around at the work Tommy put into the place. It looks good and all the moneyed people are standing around. The fundraiser will be a definite hit. He smiles at the frowny face text from Felicity. She’s working late and unavailable for this. He’ll soldier on without her but he had high hopes for taking her home after the gala in her party clothes. 

 

Laurel and Tommy are together and look happy. Oliver really doesn’t want to interrupt because of whatever weird thing is going on between Laurel and him Instead he slips around them, heading off to talk to the fire chief. 

 

The information of Garfield Lynns’ death offers a great deal of clarity to the situation. Lynns could still be alive. He might even be the one killing firemen. It’s possible and Oliver knows it will only be a matter of time before Lynns targets Chief Raynes. The man left him to burn whether or not he made the right choice. To Lynns, it is black and white. He was left to die in a burning building by the people he trusted.

 

Oliver barely gets to think about the implications when Lynns shows up. He sees Laurel and Tommy trying to get people out of the buildings as Lynns starts setting things on fire. Oliver knows he only has moments before Lynns kills Chief Raynes. He’s in the Hood again before Lynns does any damage and for the first time in six weeks he knows this is the right decision.

 

Lynns lets the Chief go while the Hood talks him down. It’s just the two of them surrounded by fire. Oliver knows this feeling. He knows what it’s like to feel like his life is over. He knows what it’s like to feel totally alone in the world. He can relate to Lynns. It’s too late when Lynns kills himself and all Oliver can do is stand there, watching him burn.

* * *

 

He manages to meet up with Tommy and Laurel later, proving to them he’s alive and everyone got out of the club okay. They both want to talk about their crazy night but Oliver’s tired. At home he spends the night going through the list, making his notes. He’s going back to saving his city and he knows it’s going to be a battle. He still has the other archer and the man behind the list to worry about. 

 

The next morning his mother heads off to work and Thea seems to be breathing easier. Things are normalizing again even with Walter’s absence. It’s still there in the background of their minds but life goes on. The world doesn’t wait for a missing person. It just keeps moving on.

 

He works throughout the day at the lair, compiling information on his next few targets. He’ll have a busy weekend. With six weeks of no takedowns the criminals have started up again. The vigilante needs to make his appearances and lower the crime rate again. He’ll have help again. Diggle is ready to do his part in protecting the city. It’s just a matter of starting.

* * *

 

He leaves Diggle and the list behind for one more night. He knows Diggle expects him to tug on the hood and rush out into the city.  He could have. He considered it and then he changed his mind. One more night won’t hurt anything. He stands in front of her door, hesitant. He hasn’t called. She’s not expecting him.

 

“I feel like we do this a lot,” she said upon opening the door. “Are you feeling better?”

 

“I was reminded of something in the past few days about who I used to be.” Weirdly enough it was Laurel who reminded him. He knows she did not mean it as advice but it felt like it. He has been ridiculous the past few weeks.

 

“Oliver?”

 

“An old friend told me I was the type of guy who closes my eyes and jumps in feet first. I haven’t done that since I came home. I’ve overthought everything. I’ve lost out because I was too busy being busy or guilty or distracted.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

He didn’t bother answering her. He just tugged her into his arms, lifting her against him. Her legs wrap around his waist and he knows he has her. He shoves the door closed behind them, ignoring the loud slam echoing through her apartment.

 

It’s funny as they trip and slide all the way down her hallway, knocking things off tables and thudding against walls. The two are laughing and having fun as they almost fall through the wrong door into her computer room. He knows his knee is going to hurt from hitting the stool in her kitchen but he’s too distracted by her tugging his shirt off and her mouth covering his tattoos.

 

He’s not even quite sure how they manage it but they never actually make it to the bed. Instead they have their first time in the hallway between her computer room and her bedroom. He usually has more finesse than this but she’s shoving him down to the floor and he’s not about to stop her. By the time they collapse in a pile, he realizes the picture they make. Neither are fully naked and they’re acting like they just ran a marathon. She’s laughing against his chest and leaving open-mouthed kisses over his Bratva tattoo while he breathes hard. He feels like his lungs are going to explode.

 

He has had visions of taking her to bed and wowing her but somehow this has happened instead. She is still wearing her top and he still has his socks on. Where had he gone wrong? He used to be good at this. He used to have moves. 

 

They manage to get fully naked for round 2 but still do not make it to the bed. Instead they collapse in a heap at the foot of her bed. The frenzy is still there, pumping through both of their veins. It’s wild and animalistic. He can’t remember ever feeling like this. She’s wrapped around him and the sounds she makes drive him crazy. Finally her head crashes against the floor with a loud thud and their movements cease.

 

“You know...I fantasized about this,” she whispers sleepily. “I thought it would be under the sheets...soft and gentle.”

 

“Sorry,” he mumbles against the hardwood floor. He’s face down and she’s lying under his left arm panting. He can’t feel his toes and is wondering why when she speaks again.

 

“This was way better,” she sighs. He manages to turn his head to look at her. Her arm is thrown over her eyes and her breathing is calming down. They’re both covered in sweat and she has a reddish bite mark on her shoulder. He probably should apologize for that but his mouth won’t form the words. Her other hand slips down his back, over the burned flesh, and lower until she just rests her hand on his body. “I’ve never had hallway sex before…”

 

He’s wrung out but he manages to tug her up into her bed. They had pulled the covers to the floor at some point during round 2 but he can’t remember who had done it. His right foot gets caught and they both tumble onto her mattress, heads missing the pillows by a lot. He is only half on the bed at this point and she giggles again before struggling to help him the rest of the way. 

 

They collapse on the pillows in a heap and neither can manage to find any type of sheet to cover them. The sheets are on the floor and are dead to the both of them. She flops around for a minute before crawling against his body, resting her head on his chest. He never has the chance to worry about anything before they both fall asleep, cuddled together.

 

Around dawn he wakes her. She comes awake slowly and smiles when she notices he’s tugged the sheets back up. Under the covers, he gives her what she has fantasized about. He’s slow and gentle, taking his time. He watches her face when he finds the places she likes, enjoying the way her short nails clench at his back. Tomorrow he’ll face death again on the rooftops of his city. Today he’s just Oliver Queen and he’s with his girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...so I originally planned for a very serious, sexy scene at the end. The "gentle and soft" moment. Then I was writing the scene and thought "What if they had an awkward yet totally perfect, frenzied sex scene instead?" So that's what you got.
> 
> I'm already working on plans for chapter 11 and 12. Again...a lot of the 11th episode has Thea-centric scenes. I'm playing with the idea a bit. I think there will actually be a part surrounding Thea's perspective because she has a lot of important conversations in episode 11.
> 
> Tease note: I've figured out exactly how Felicity is going to react to the reveal in chapter 14. I knew the vague details but I've ironed it out. It will be an interesting discussion.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Trust (1.11)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

“Remind me again how you talked me into this,” she said. “I graduated M.I.T. at the age of 19 and managed to land a position at one of the most forward-thinking companies in the world. Explain to me how you convinced me to play Wii in my underwear?”

 

“You’re not done hula hooping,” he replied behind his glass of wine. She turned and glared at him but kept up the suggestive hip movements. Decked in a black bra and underwear, he was getting a very nice show. “I seem to recall the word bet in our earlier agreement.”

 

“Yeah well you cheated. No one is that good at cards and I was counting them.”

 

“I learn something new about you every day. Counting cards Miss Smoak. Hacking arcades and counting cards....tsk tsk.”

 

“World domination Queen. World domination. Did you cheat?”

 

“I did and I still managed to convince you to do yoga, boxing, and hula hooping. I’d say I won.”

 

“How did you cheat?!” The character is sobbing on screen when she lunges at him. He grabs her around the waist, wrapping his arms around her laughing as she pokes his chest relentlessly. “How?!”

 

“The cards are marked,” he explains. Her indignation rises up and she growls at him. He can’t help but laugh as she wrestles him to the couch. She clutches his wrists and leans over him menacingly. She weighs next to nothing but he lets her think she has the upper hand.

 

“You planned to cheat,” she says narrowing her eyes. “You brought those cards and came up with this elaborate plan to get me do all those embarrassing exercises!”

 

“Yes my dastardly plans have been found out. My elaborate plan to get you to suggest the wager worked.  Also can we discuss how the wager was made and you planned to count cards? You wanted me to do my workout naked for your amusement.”

 

“I don’t remember that. I think maybe you’re hallucinating. I’m pretty sure I was totally against the wager but you did that little smile and I caved. I’m weak. Do you want to lie down? Maybe you have a fever. It would explain your crazy explanations for how you got an innocent IT girl to do this.” She puts her hand on his forehead thoughtfully. Before she can comment again he’s swept her into his arms and carries her to her bedroom. Before long soft moans fill the air while the Wii game continues to wait for the next activity to be selected.

* * *

 

“Tahitian green or midnight black? What do you think Ollie?” Thea’s paging through car ads and looking up at him expectantly. When she asks him what he was doing the night before, he just says poker and wrestling. It’s not exactly a lie.

 

“Speedy you’ve been hinting all week and Mom still isn’t buying you a car for your birthday.”

 

“I could not have said it better myself,” Moira says as she fiddles with her purse. 

 

“Ollie got a car when he turned 18!”

 

“Yeah but I could back it out of the driveway without hitting a tree.” He’s famished and the apple is not going to do it for him. He needs a solid breakfast. Felicity only has yogurt in her apartment and while that seems to be enough for her, he is starving.

 

“I seem to remember you taking the paint off the side of your dad’s Maserati.” Tommy looks good. He looks well rested and oddly energetic. He kisses Moira’s cheek and turns to Speedy. 

“So birthday girl...are you sure about the convertible?”

 

“Top down, wind in my hair...yes.”

 

“Come on Thea...the party planner is waiting.” His mother heads for the door, swinging her purse over her shoulder.

 

“Sure thing Mom. Oh and Ollie? I expect something expensive for my birthday.” 

 

“So how’s your mom holding up?” Tommy asks, grabbing a danish from the tray. The blueberry danish vanishes in two bites and Tommy looks down at the tray for more. 

 

“She’s okay. Thea thinks she’s a little too okay actually. She’s been acting erratically.”

 

“Well if anyone has an excuse, it’s probably her.”

 

Tommy and Oliver head out to get breakfast and slide into the booth of a city diner. Oliver is famished and for the first time in a long time, orders a large variety of food. He’s diet has been improving but he still usually goes with blander, fruit-based meals. Today though he wants sausage and bacon, pancakes and eggs, potatoes, and fruit. Tommy looks on in awe as Oliver begins eating.

 

“Man you’ve been eating like a bird for months...what changed?” Tommy cuts into his omelette and just watches. “You got laid!”

 

“Repeatedly and we’re not 16 anymore Tommy. I think we can say something nicer than laid,” Oliver said. “This bacon is amazing. Why haven’t I eaten bacon in months?”

 

“Felicity? Or someone else? I heard rumors there was a model.”

 

“Of course Felicity. The rumored model is Felicity. The photographer got a shot of her when she was dressed up for that restaurant opening. Dig deleted the pictures but rumors follow us everywhere.”

 

“So after five years was it worth the wait?”

 

“Yes. Pass the syrup. How’s Laurel?” He pours way too much syrup over his pancakes but he doesn’t care. He’s just hungry. He remembers being this hungry during the early days on the island. It’s strange. He’s been back for months but now all he wants is food.

 

“She’s...I don’t know. Things seem fine but she’s been acting strange.”

 

“Strange how? I forgot about pancakes…”

 

“Are you sure you’re sleeping with Felicity? Maybe it’s just food hallucinations.”

 

“I’m not that out of it Tommy. So Laurel?”

 

“She’s just...sometimes it’s like she’s not even there, you know? She’s distracted. Did you do something?”

 

“What do you mean?” The coffee refill is wonderful and sets him up for sausage and eggs. Tommy finished ages ago and Oliver’s wondering if it would be rude to order a second course.

 

“Laurel’s mad at you or something. I mentioned doubling the other night and she almost bit my head off. Have you seen her really angry recently? It’s terrifying.”

 

Oliver doesn’t tell him what he suspects. Ever since the firehouse, Oliver has been wondering if Laurel is still in love with him. She has been avoiding him and every time she’s come close to approaching he’s been with Felicity. He’s not a fan of how she looks at Felicity either but she has not done anything that would warrant comment.

 

“I’m sure everything is okay. Have you tried talking to her?”

 

“Yeah...talking. You know Laurel. If she doesn’t want to talk about it well then you don’t. You two are a lot alike.”

 

“I’m working on it Tommy.”

* * *

 

Oliver is focusing on the latest armored truck robbery when Diggle enters the lair. He’s watching the videos again and again but the grainy quality of the street camera does not offer anything to aid in identifying the thieves.

 

“Three million dollars was stolen last night in that armored car heist,” Oliver says absently. Diggle’s looking around the space, deep in thought.

 

“You know with all the construction going on you might want to think about a side entrance.”

 

“South Alleyway. Armored cars Dig?”

 

“Right I heard that on the news. What do you have?”

 

“Look at these two videos. This is the car heist,” he gestures to the left screen. “This is Kandahar ‘09, when the Marines took out a Taliban transport vehicle.”

 

“Same swarming technique. Where did you get this video?”

 

“I was researching a bodyguard who works at a private security firm. His name is Ted Gaynor. He works for Blackhawk. Kandahar was one of his teams.”

 

“Ted Gaynor was my commanding officer Oliver.”

 

“He’s on the list Dig. Not every person on there is a one-percenter Dig. Some are just regular guys.”

 

“Oliver this guy saved my life. He’s not this man.”

 

“People change John. I did,” Diggle is staring at him like he’s insane and Oliver can’t help but feel guilty about it. It’s hard to tell someone a person you trust is a criminal. “His training specialty is M-32 multiple grenade launchers which are being used in every heist.”

 

“Two months ago we found out that wasn’t even your father’s book. How can we trust anything it says.”

 

“I’m not wrong about this Dig. He’s dirty and I’m going to have a very pointed conversation with Mr. Gaynor tonight. I understand if you want to take the week off.”

 

“Well thank you sir.”

 

That night Oliver slips into Blackhawk. For a private security firm the place has terrible security. Most of the cameras are broken and the angles are not under guard. Most of the doors require no keycard or biometric scanner. Ted Gaynor is exactly where he expects him to be.

 

“Ted Gaynor, we’re going to have a conversation. You make a move, go for a gun, anything, things will end badly for you.”

 

It’s only Diggle working for Ted Gaynor that pulls him up short. Oliver will risk a lot but he’s not going to shoot Dig to get at Ted Gaynor. Another night will be easier. At least he was able to grab the security fob from Ted Gaynor’s desk.

 

The fight is expected and Oliver feels anger towards Diggle. He could have shot him. Killed him. It would have been so easy to do so. It was only his momentary pause that saved his life.

 

“What the hell were you thinking John!?”

 

“I’m not going to let you 'William Tell' an innocent man Oliver. You seem to think because his name is in the book that makes him a bad guy. You trust that book more than me.”

 

“I trust my father and he explained to me that every name on this list has a reason to be there.” He slipped there. He always meant to tell Diggle down the road but once again he spoiled his own secrets.

 

“I thought you took the book off your father’s dead body. How can he have explained anything?”

 

“A few years ago I found a message he left for me.”

 

“How is that even possible Oliver? You were on a deserted island!”

 

“I never said I found it on the island.” Diggle is looking at him like he’s a stranger. He is sometimes. “Look Diggle, for the past few months I have lied to, hurt, and hid things from all the people I care about. Do you think I would be doing this if I wasn’t sure?”

 

“Gaynor got me into Blackhawk and I’m going to prove he’s innocent.”

 

“And if he’s not?”

 

“Then I’ll take him down myself. You owe me that.”

 

Oliver watches him go and turns back to the computer. Sitting in front of it he brings up a satellite image of Lian Yu. The majority of people still do not know the island exists even though he was marooned there. It has been in the news but it’s such an unimportant place for the majority of people. In some ways that island is still home to Oliver. He knows every inch of the place, every location of a land mine, every trap he has set. He knows where the best fruit is on the island and where to find fresh water. It’s almost easier to be there than here where people hate what you tell them.

 

Switching off the picture he instead pulls up shopping websites. He still needs a gift for Thea and her birthday is coming up faster than he’d like.

* * *

 

“I think you may have tried on every dress in the city,” Moira says. Thea Queen is digging through her bags looking for the dress she plans to wear to her party.

 

“My friends are going to freak!”

 

“Yes well if your father were still alive, he’d freak too though in an entirely different way.” 

 

The two have just spent hours going through every store Thea could find. Both are pleasantly exhausted as they drive towards wherever Moira plans for them to have lunch. Sitting back Thea looks out the window and thinks about her birthday. 

 

“I wish Oliver would answer his phone. I thought he might like to join us for lunch.”

 

“He’s busy.”

 

“Mmm...yes his club.”

 

“No I mean he has lunch plans,” Thea says. She’s been keeping this secret in for weeks and has been dying to share with someone. Oliver has been spending a lot of time away from the house and Thea has finally figured out why.

 

“Meeting Tommy I guess. They probably have things to discuss around that nightclub of his.”

 

“No he’s meeting his girlfriend.” Moira’s phone clatters to the floor and she turns to look at Thea questioningly.

 

“Girlfriend?”

 

“Yeah he’s been seeing her for awhile. At least Tommy says it has been since before Christmas.”

 

“He has not said one word.”

 

“I followed him,” Thea admits. “Right after Walter disappeared and he was using that cane to get around...I was worried. He went out without Mr. Diggle. I saw them together...well I saw him going into her apartment.”

 

Moira is quiet as she absorbs this new information. Oliver has not been doing anything related to Malcolm’s undertaking. He’s been seeing a girlfriend. He’s been dating. Now she’ll be able to get Malcolm to stop worrying and maybe, just maybe leave them alone.

 

“He hasn’t told me about her at all,” Thea says bitterly. “He doesn’t talk about her at all. Tommy only knows because him and Laurel ran into them on their first date. Tommy thinks she’s perfect for Ollie.”

 

“What do you know about her?” Moira asks carefully.

 

“She works at Queen Consolidated and she’s really smart, genius level according to Tommy. Tommy said Oliver spends a lot of nights at her apartment. She’s good with computers.”

 

“Computers? That doesn’t sound like Oliver. Is Tommy sure?” Moira says as her phone starts ringing.

 

“He’s sure. He said Ollie is happy. He’s smiling more and he’s eating better. He’s not having nightmares as much either.”

 

“Good that’s good,” Moira replies distractedly. “Honey I need to take this.”

 

Thea knows that’s the end of their day. Moira makes the appropriate apologies but Thea knows. It’s only later when she sees her mother with Malcolm Merlyn, she realizes what has been going on. 

 

She doesn’t know what to do with the knowledge but she does need to tell someone. She bursts in on Ollie and he looks startled.

 

“Knocking is not just a suggestion.” He’s distracted and Thea glances around. She has not noticed how different his room looks now that he spends so little time there. His closet looks partially empty and there are knick knacks and pictures strewn about the space. She almost picks one up featuring a blonde girl before Ollie grabs her attention again.

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

“Speedy I’m not telling you if Mom is getting you a car.”

 

“Remember last week when I asked if you thought Mom was acting weird? Well I found out why. She’s hooking up with Tommy’s dad!”

 

“Thea that’s insane. Mom is not hooking up with Mr. Merlyn.”

 

“You don’t get it Ollie!” She says pacing. “She’s doing it again.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“A few months before you and Dad left on the Gambit, Mom and Dad were fighting a lot. I don’t know about what but she started having a lot of lunch meetings with Mr. Merlyn. And now with Walter gone...she’s doing it again. It’s gross.”

 

“She’s not cheating on Walter and she didn’t cheat on Dad.”

 

“Ollie you have this perfect image of Mom in your head. She’s a liar and a cheater and you don’t really know her at all.”

* * *

 

Oliver doesn’t know what to do with the allegations. He just sits there staring at his computer screen, not seeing what’s there at all. Could Speedy be right? Could his mother be meeting with Malcolm Merlyn in secret? Has this been going on for years? He doesn’t know his mother as well as he thought but could he have missed this?

 

“She thinks Malcolm and I are having an affair?” His mother asks surprised. She seems genuine but Oliver had come to understand lies. It’s easy to play off the big lie with surprise. 

 

“She thinks it started back when Dad was still alive.”

 

“Why would she think that?” She’s fussing with her closet and thinking. “I can’t imagine…”

 

“She said you and Dad were fighting.”

 

“It’s not your concern Sweetheart.”

 

“Mom,” he begins softly. “Thea brought this to me because she’s worried. It’s my concern. What are you hiding?”

 

She turns to face him and looks at him sadly. She puts her hands on his shoulders and just watches him.

 

“Robert was unfaithful to me repeatedly throughout our marriage. I know you thought he walked on water but that’s how I wanted you to remember him. I never wanted either of you to know.”

 

Oliver knows his father is not the man he thought he was. His father took part in criminal activities and worked with people who are destroying the city. Adultery changes very little in his opinion of his father.

 

“Mom why does Thea think you and Mr. Merlyn are sneaking around now.”

 

“I really can’t imagine.”

 

“Have you been seeing him?”

 

“Well I go to him for advice about running Queen Consolidated. I’ve only been running the company for a few weeks and he’s been running his company for years.”

 

She’s lying and Oliver knows it. He wants to believe her but he can’t. Not with this. Maybe it’s not an affair but she’s covering something up. “Is my interrogation over?”

 

“Yeah Mom. I have to go. I still need to get Thea’s birthday present.”

* * *

 

“We need to stop meeting like this,” Felicity says with a smile. She sits her Chinese food next to her computer and waits for him to kiss her. “Now are you here to see me or do you have some ridiculous research you want me to do?”

 

“How did you guess?”

 

“You only come up here when you want something. Otherwise you meet me in the lobby. So…?”

 

“So a friend of mine is running a scavenger hunt and there’s a case of Lafite Rothschild 1982 waiting at the end.”

 

“I love red wine.”

 

“I know.” He slips into the chair next to hers and slides her close, his hand slipping over her thigh. “If you can help me get through this then I’ll give you one of the bottles.”

 

She takes the security fob from him and plugs it into her computer, sighing at the log-in screen. She types for a few minutes, swatting at his hand as he slips it up her skirt.

 

“You know I would get a lot more work done if you stopped trying to feel me up every time you come near me.”

 

“This is why I rarely bother you at work,” he says before kissing her neck. “There is something incredibly sexy about watching you work.”

 

“So this fob goes back to a company called Blackhawk...does that sound right?”

 

“My friend had his bodyguard set it up. I think it’s cheating but whatever.”

 

“Oliver this is military grade cryptographic security protocols. Your friend really went to all this trouble?”

 

“Well you know the idle rich…”

 

“Oliver...you are hardly the idle rich.” She stops typing to turn to face him. “You work almost as hard as me and you aren’t getting paid. I’ve seen the nightclub. It’s getting ready to open soon and you are always doing stuff for your family.”

 

“Do you think you can get through the security?” she sighs at his deflection and presses a few more keys. “It will take me awhile but sure. You owe me a bottle of wine and a naked workout for this. It’s going to take hours.”

 

“Saturday night?”

 

“Okay. Now go away. I can’t crack this if you have your hand up my skirt.”

* * *

 

Hours later Oliver is watching security footage of the armored car heists. His computer pings and a message pops up on the screen.

 

_ This is Felicity Smoak. I need to talk to you. I’ll be at home. Fire escape window is open. BTW next time leave a more secure bug. Back tracing the signal was child’s play. _

 

She’s contacting the Hood. He races over to his suit and tugs it on. The Hood has not seen Felicity in months but she’s been following his stories in the paper. She never removes the bug and he knows she knows it is there. She’s left stuff on her computer to let him know.

 

Climbing through her window is different. He’s been coming in her front door so much, it seems weird to do it this way again.

 

“I need your help.” He doesn’t react but she’s sitting on the edge of her bed. She holds out the security fob. “My boyfriend gave me this. It’s supposed to contain clues to a scavenger hunt but it doesn’t. I don’t...want him to go to jail for having this.”

 

“What’s on it?” He asks carefully, thankfully remembering to use his voice modulator.

 

“A directory and well something illegal.”

 

“Define illegal.”

 

“Robbing armored cars with grenade launchers and tear gas,” she says. “Someone at Blackhawk was using their system to store detailed routes and schedules of the armored cars.”

 

“And you brought this to me?”

 

“I don’t want Oliver to get in trouble. He’s been through enough and I couldn’t just take it to the police. They would have wanted to know where I got it...where he got it.”

 

He slips it into his pocket and looks at her. She’s clearly worried, wringing her hands and looking over his shoulder. 

 

“What will you tell your boyfriend?” 

 

“I’ll figure something out.”

 

He leaves her standing in her bedroom alone and worried. He never expected her to approach the Hood about this. He expected her to give it to him later and he would tell her it was going to the police. Instead he would get to see how she covered this up. Would she lie to him even though she hates lies? 

 

He has been wondering if she still thinks Oliver Queen is the Hood but apparently having Dig run around in the Hood while they’re on dates has been enough. She has stopped accumulating evidence to support that theory and she’s drawn line between her relationship with him and with the Hood. What will she think when she finds out?

* * *

 

“Check it out Ollie!” Thea holds up the keys to her brand new convertible, laughing happily. The party is raging around her and Oliver is keeping an eye for the alcohol and drugs he’s sure are present. 

 

“You must be so surprised.”

 

“Isn’t everything absolutely perfect? Well except Dad…”

 

“He would say you look beautiful.” He kisses her cheek and walks away watching her get surrounded by her friends. Next to him Diggle discusses the armored car heist Oliver foiled hours earlier. One of their usual men is down and Diggle wants to go investigate.

 

Oliver manages to slip a bug in Diggle’s pocket before he rushes out to prove Gaynor’s innocence. Without missing a beat, Oliver slips the earpiece in his ear and turns to watch Thea at her party. He’ll be able to hear everything that happens tonight and if he’s needed he’ll head out.

 

When he hears what is happening to Diggle, he rushes off, forgetting to say anything to Thea or his mother. He worries he’ll be too late. Diggle and Carly are both being held hostage by Gaynor and his men and if he’s not fast enough, another armored car will be hit.

 

He’s in time but it seems like Diggle has it under control. Carly gets away and Diggle chases Gaynor. Diggle’s not a killer. He’s done things in the military but Gaynor’s right. Diggle doesn’t have it in him to shoot Gaynor. Oliver takes the choice from him, shooting Gaynor with an arrow and ending the night.

 

“You’re late,” Diggle says finally.

 

“You knew I was coming?”

 

“Next time you plant a bug on someone, be more subtle about it,” he says handing back the bug. “I wish you trusted me.”

 

“I do trust you Dig. It’s them I don’t trust.”

 

“You should go before the police get here.”

* * *

 

Felicity is worried when she opens the door to him. He can see it on her face. She sits him down on the couch and paces for a second before he stops her. Tugging her into his lap, he waits for her to calm down.

 

“What is it Felicity?”

 

“I couldn’t break the security on the fob,” she says softly. “I gave it to a friend and they...they lost it. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s a case of red wine Felicity, I’ll live.”

 

“You mean you’re okay with it?” She looks so worried like he’s going to shove her to the floor and storm out over a case of red wine. Maybe she’s afraid he’ll call her on a lie. Who knows but she’s much more worried than she should be. He kisses her and hugs her close to him. It’s been a long time since someone truly worried about his reaction.

 

“It’s just wine Felicity.”

 

“So how was your sister’s party?”

 

“Loud.” She just nods but then he’s slipping her down to the couch, making sure her head is lying on a throw pillow before leaning over. “I’d much rather be here with you.”

 

“Mmm…” He wishes she had been at the party with him but instead she had been here, worrying about lying to her boyfriend. He wonders if her lie will help her understand him when he tells her he’s the Hood. He’s not telling her to protect her much like she lied to protect him tonight. They’re not equal lies in any way but maybe it will help her understand.

 

It’s his phone that stops them from progressing further. When he hears Thea has been in an accident it’s like a bucket of cold water being thrown over him. He’s standing and straightening his jacket. Felicity watches worried from the couch as his mother updates him over the phone.

 

“I have to go. It’s my sister.”

 

“Is she okay?”

 

“Yeah...just bruises but I need to see her in the hospital.”

 

“Do you want me to drive you?”

 

“No...my bike is downstairs and I’ll get there faster.” They say goodbye quickly with her securing a promise he’ll call her when he leaves the hospital. 

 

Thea looks tired when he steps into her room. She embraces him hard and he just hugs her to him. When their mother tries, Thea shoves her away. 

 

“Go away. I don’t want you here.” Oliver takes the seat next to Thea’s bed and holds her hand, while their mother goes into the hallway. “I don’t want to talk about her right now.”

 

“Okay Speedy. Are you sure you are okay?” She nods sadly and snuggles closer to his arms. “Hey what is it?”

 

“Where did you go earlier? I looked for you?”

 

“Mr. Diggle and his sister-in-law were in an accident earlier. I went to make sure they were okay. They’re both fine.”

 

“Oh. You really like Mr. Diggle.”

 

“He’s my friend.” Thea slips to sleep with him sitting there. He knows his mother is in the room with them but he’s too busy watching Thea sleep. Finally after some coaxing from his mother, he heads home. She will watch over Thea throughout the night. A quick call to Felicity lets him relax before running into Diggle at the lair.

 

“Did the cops give you a hard time?”

 

“No.” Diggle is staring blankly at the computer screen.  “Gaynor wasn’t who I thought he was.”

 

“Maybe but you were right too. You told me I trust the list more than you Diggle. The truth is I have a lot of trouble trusting anyone after the island. You reminded me why I chose you as my partner. You see the best in people and I need that.”

 

“I learned something tonight. Until you tell me, I never want to know what other names are in this book.” Diggle crosses off Ted Gaynor’s name and the two sit back staring at nothing and just thinking about how easy it is to be betrayed by the people you trust.

 

When Thea is arrested for using Vertigo and driving under the influence the next morning, all Oliver can do is watch helplessly as she’s led away in handcuffs. There have been too many betrayals in the past few weeks and he can’t help but wonder when he won’t be able to fix them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to Felicity finding out! Isn't that exciting? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Promise (1.12)

Oliver doesn't remember calling her. All he knows is one moment he's sitting on the bench across from the police station alone and the next she's slipping his ice cold hands between her warm ones. She rubs his frozen fingers between hers before raising them to her lips to blow warm air one them.

 

“You forgot your gloves,” she murmurs. “How's Thea?”

 

“I don't know,” he replies softly. “They took her away in handcuffs Felicity. They wouldn't let me see her.”

 

“Oliver…”

 

“Mom is in there with the lawyer. She'll have to go in front of a judge on Monday.” He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He always thought it would be him getting arrested. He would be found out and led away from his family in handcuffs. He was ready for that but Thea? He never imagined it.

 

“Everything is going to be okay,” she says, resting her head on his shoulder. “She’s going to be okay and you are going to be okay.”

 

“I’m glad you came.”

 

“I’m glad you called.” He rests his head against hers and relaxes. He can hear the journalists arriving across the street to catch Thea leaving the station. He should care but for a moment no one recognizes him and he can just be. Felicity slips away before the cameras are turned on him. He knows it will happen eventually but he would rather her avoid the unwanted publicity for as long as she can.

* * *

 

Over the weekend Oliver tries to kee p his head. He doesn’t go to see Felicity because of his family. She understands and asks him to call her and tell how things are going. He knows she would be with him at home in a heartbeat but he doesn’t ask and she doesn’t mention it. For now he plays the role of being with Thea while he’s really out chasing down drug dealers.

 

It takes him two days to get the name. The Count. The Count is peddling Vertigo in Starling City and he’s the one who is responsible for Thea having to stand in front of a judge. He’s the one spreading terrible drugs that in many cases are resulting in death. It is so easy to OD on Vertigo according to Diggle. Too many people have died.

 

“You are not going back out there!” Diggle steps in front of him to block Oliver from leaving. “You need to go home.”

 

“I’m not done for the night. The Count has a lot of blood on his hands and it is long past time he started paying.”

 

“You need to slow down. Your sister is about to go in front of a judge. You think she cares more about some drug lord getting his just desserts or her brother being by her side when she needs you the most?”

 

Thea is worried and Oliver pulls her into his arms. She looks fragile and so young. He just wants to sweep her away and protect her from the world but he knows he can’t fix this. She took the drugs and she drove her car. 

 

“Judges don’t appreciate the value in being fashionably late Speedy. Are you ready?”

 

“Got any other tips?” she asks softly.

 

“Let the lawyer do all the talking. They’ll give you a pad and paper but do not play tic-tac-toe. You’re going to be okay Thea.”

 

“I know. I wish Dad were here.”

 

“I’m here Speedy. I’m always here.”

 

“I know.” She hugs him again as Moira comes into the room. She looks at the two of them and can’t help but smile. They are facing a terrible situation but for a moment Thea and Oliver are together again.

 

Oliver is prepared for the media. They press in on him and Thea and Thea slides as close as she can to him. He shoves a cameraman out of the way and he can hear Diggle pushing back others. His mother’s security detail surrounds her but Oliver presses on with Thea. He won’t leave her side until he has to do so. 

 

Oliver can’t believe it when the judge decides to make Thea the poster child for Vertigo. She looks to him with fear in her eyes and he tries to reassure her. He knows it doesn’t but the second he can he pulls her into his arms. He won’t let this happen to her. He’ll fix it someway.

 

She stays plastered to his side in the car while Moira stews. He doesn’t say a word, just tugs his phone out and texts Felicity the results. Her answer comes quickly. He smiles at the text for a second before turning his attention back to his terrified sister.

 

In the living room, Oliver sits by Thea while their mother dresses down the criminal defense attorney. Neither says anything but Thea’s hand is limp in his hand. He keeps holding her trying to make all of this go away. 

 

“Thea we will handle this I promise,” Moira says suddenly.

 

“Like you promised Walter you’d always stay faithful to him? I feel better already.”

 

“Thea that is enough!” Moira demands.

 

“Don’t worry. Sounds like you won’t have to put up with me for much longer.”

 

Thea storms out of the room and Oliver watches after her. He slips her shoes under the couch and leans back to look at his mother.

 

“Does she not realize how serious this is?” His mother asks. “She took drugs. She drove. She could have killed someone, or herself.”

 

“I know.”

 

“All that judge is looking for is someone to make an example of. Why does it have to be her?”

 

“Maybe it doesn’t,” Oliver says suddenly. “I have to go do something. Will you be okay?”

 

“I’m not the one facing prison Oliver.”

* * *

 

There are a bunch of cops who watch him wearily as he walks into the station. They follow his movements past where Detective Lance usually sits and lose sight of him in the hallway.

 

“Excuse me I’m looking for Detective Hall.”

 

“Oliver Queen.” The female cop is a surprise.

 

“McKenna Hall. Here I was expecting a middled aged guy in a bad suit and instead I got you.”

 

“I live to surprise.”

 

“What was the club that you got us kicked out of? Club Deville?”

 

“In my defense there was no sign that specifically said you had to keep your clothes on.” They laugh for a second before Oliver turns serious.

 

“I’m here about vertigo.”

 

“Right I saw your sister on TV. I’m sorry.”

 

“The judge wants to make an example of her. I was thinking if you caught the person making the drugs then maybe Thea would get off a bit easier. The Count?”

 

“Oliver we’ve known about the Count for months. We just don’t have anything on him. The file only has two pages in it.”

 

Oliver pages through the two pages and grimaces. It’s not enough. He has three options available to him and decides to use them all.

* * *

 

“Hey.” Tommy looks surprised to see him but covers it quickly. Oliver steps into the room and looks to Laurel who is eyeing him wearily. 

 

“Laurel I need your help. I...need you to talk to your father. Maybe he can cash in a chip for Thea and get him to back down a little.”

 

“Oliver that is highly unlikely.”

 

He takes her hand in his knowing he’s making a play he doesn’t like. If Felicity is right Laurel will do this for him because she’s in love with him and not because it is the right thing to do. He need Laurel on his side in this and he’ll do anything to get her to help. 

 

“Please Laurel. I’m working on something on my end but if it doesn’t work out then you are my best chance.”

 

“I’ll see what I can do but no promises.”

 

“I understand.”

 

He says his goodbyes and heads off to the next stop on his list. He doesn’t call or make sure she’s there. She’s not in her office when he arrives but he sits in her chair and waits. He’s never been to her office when she’s not around and he takes the few moments to look at her desk. It’s still organized chaos but now there are two new additions. 

 

There is a framed picture of the two of them from one of their dates. They’re just smiling at each other. He has the exact same photo sitting on his desk. The second item is the plastic bracelet from their pier date. She has it hanging from a push pin. He reaches out and tweaks it before sighing. Leaning back he closes his eyes and waits.

 

“Oliver?” She shakes him awake gently and he stares at her surprised. “Are you okay? My office mate said you’ve been here for two hours.”

 

“Two? I fell asleep,” he says straightening. “I needed to talk to you.”

 

“Weird research again?”

 

“Something like that. It’s for Thea.” She sits down in another chair and pulls it close to him. He hands her the file from the police and she scans it quickly.

 

“You want me to try and find the Count?”

 

“The police are not making progress nearly as fast as I need them to. This is my sister and I can’t let them send her to jail because the police have not managed to do their jobs.”

 

She looks over the details and sighs. He knows it’s not enough information. He’s not even sure how to proceed with the little information provided. He can reach out to the Bratva, his last stop of the day, but he knows that might not pan out either. His best hope is getting as many people as possible on this.   
  


“I’ll do what I can,” she says firmly. “You need to go home and sleep Oliver. You look like you’re barely awake.”

 

“I have to keep going. Thea doesn’t have much time.”

 

“When or if I find the Count, what should I do?”

 

“Call me. I’ll pass it on to my contact in the police department.”

 

“You promise you won’t do anything reckless?”

 

“I promise.” She copies the file and hands the original back to him before leaning up to hug him. He melts against her, enjoying the comfort for a few moments. She rubs her face against his neck, breathing softly against him. Her arms are under his jacket and she rubs his back gently. 

 

“When you do whatever it is you are planning to do even though you are currently promising me you won’t do it, will you at least try to be careful.”

 

“Yes. I’ll try to be careful.”

* * *

 

Diggle helps him gather the money required for the Bratva but doesn’t understand the purpose. Oliver knows if he tells him about the Bratva then Diggle will either try to stop him from going or refuse to go. He needs Dig to look like a bodyguard.

 

“Is this Russian owned?” Diggle asks as they walk in the door. He’s looking at everything and Oliver has to stop him.

 

“Diggle. Whatever I say, whatever goes down, you need to go with it.”

 

“Ah...Captain. We were wondering when we would see you again.”

 

“I was trying to decide where to put my interests. I am interested in Vertigo. The reports I’ve heard are promising,” Oliver explains. Alexi looks surprised. He did not expect Oliver to be that in the know. Vertigo is brand new for the most part.

 

“Tough option. There is only one seller.”

 

“I was hoping you could do me a favor and arrange a meeting.”

 

“Difficult man. He does not like new friends.”

 

“Then a gift? Here is everything the police have on him.”

 

“Very well. I will see what I can do. First, you will do a favor for me.”

 

“Oliver,” Diggle says quietly.

 

“It is unusual for an American to hold such a position of esteem in our organization Mr. Queen. Anatoli Knyazev speaks very highly of you.”

 

Oliver can feel Diggle looking at him and waiting for his reaction. Oliver looks back to Alexi knowing any favor will not be pleasant. He can only hope he can get through it.

 

“Anatoli should. I saved his life.”

 

The man is dragged out and placed in front of Oliver. Alexi gestures to him and Oliver realizes what he is meant to do. He grabs the man and Diggle starts to try and stop him but one glance shuts him down. The man’s body goes limp and Oliver hefts him over his shoulder. 

 

“You will arrange the meeting,” Oliver says firmly. If Alexi has spoken to Anatoli then he knows Oliver has the ability to take over the Starling City operation. He will not push too hard against him.

 

“Mr. Queen…” Alexi turns and leaves and Oliver is left with the man’s body. Diggle follows him outside and watches as Oliver pops the trunk.

 

“I can’t believe you just killed that guy.”

 

“You have a really low opinion of me.” Oliver looks around and then taps the guy, hitting a pressure point.

 

“That’s a neat trick. You going to teach me that one day?”

 

“No. You need to arrange a new identity for this guy.”

 

“Right so that guy is going to draw out the Count and then the Hood will intervene?”

 

“No Diggle because then the Bratva would know I used them and that relationship is valuable. So I meet with him as Oliver Queen and then we follow him.”

 

“Just that easy?”

 

“Well, I still need my trusty bodyguard.”

* * *

 

At home Oliver sits in the kitchen eating lunch and talking to Raisa. She wants to talk about the girl that has Oliver so happy. So he tells her. He tells Raisa all about Felicity while he eats, sharing how much fun he has with her and how much he wants to be with her.

 

“Mr. Oliver, you need to tell this girl you love her.”

 

“Raisa.”

 

“Don’t Raisa me Mr. Oliver. You love this girl. You need to tell her.”

 

“Raisa we’ve only been together for a few months.”

 

“Love does not work that way Mr. Oliver. There is no timetable,” Raisa replies. She takes his hand and looks him in the eye. “Do not waste time with her. Life is too short. You know that better than anyone.”

 

“She doesn’t ask me about the island,” he says softly. “She never asks me about what happened to me. She doesn’t ask me to explain my scars.”

 

“It sounds like she understands we all have scars.”

 

“Raisa what if I tell her what happened to me and she can’t handle it?”

 

“Mr. Oliver, it sounds to me she is worried about her own scars. Maybe she is worried you will not like hers so she is accepting yours.”

 

“She’s perfect.”

 

“Oh no. Do not do that. Do not put the girl on a pedestal,” Raisa slaps him upside the head playfully. “I taught you better. No one is perfect. She has flaws and scars like you. Maybe not on the outside but she has them. You would be wise to accept them. Now...you will bring her to meet me okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

She leaves him sitting there before heading off to answer the door. He tugs out his phone and texts her. He hasn’t heard from her since he gave her the file. 

 

_ O: Hi. _

 

_ F: I’m not done yet. _

 

_ O: I was thinking about you. Dinner tomorrow night? _

 

_ F: What if I’m not done with the file? _

 

_ O: Then you’re not.  _

 

_ F: K. BBB? _

 

_ O: Always. I ate those cookies you made.. _

 

_ F: Did you call the poison control center? _

 

_ O: Funny.  _

 

_ F: … _

 

_ O: I’m fine. I think you forgot an ingredient. Sugar maybe. _

 

_ F: I knew they were terrible but you said you wanted them. _

 

_ O: You made them for me. Raisa wants to meet you. _

 

_ F: Freaking out. _

 

_ O: R will love you. _

 

_ F: FREAKING OUT! _

 

_ O: She’ll love you. _

 

“Oliver?” He glances up to see Laurel standing beside Raisa. “I talked to my father.”

 

He follows her into the living room and the two sit down. She opens the file and shows him the compromise. To him it looks good. Thea will avoid jail time.

 

“What?” Thea asks as Raisa pushes her into the room.

 

“My father was able to get Judge Brackett to back off a bit,” Laurel says cheerily. 

 

“Nobody asked you to get involved,” Thea bites back.

 

“I did,” Oliver says. He glares at her until she sits down, huffing.

 

“The judge has agreed to a sentence of 500 hours of community service and two years of probation. I’ll act in loco parentis and take responsibility for you. You’ll avoid jail time.”

 

“No thanks.”

 

“THEA!” Oliver stands up quickly. “You don’t have a choice.”

 

“Yes I do Ollie and I’m not taking it.” Laurel makes her apologies as the argument starts to build between siblings. Oliver looms over Thea, until she flops back down to the couch.

 

“You are in serious trouble here Thea. You took drugs. You drove your car. You were beyond stupid and this is a great deal Laurel got you. Why aren’t you taking it? Do you want to ruin your life?!”

 

“No. I want to ruin Mom’s life. She’s a liar and a cheat. I hate her. She betrayed dad.”

 

“So what? You’re just going to go to jail to spite her? Thea Mom didn’t cheat on Dad. He cheated on her. On the night the Gambit went down he confessed he failed us. He wasn’t the man we thought he was and he wished he could make it right.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“Yes, you do. You remember dad too. I’m sorry Thea.”

 

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” If there had been a door to slam, he’s sure he would have heard it. He does hear it when she reaches her room. His mother enters the room glaring at him but he has no patience for it.

 

“She’s old enough to know. She needs to get over it.”

* * *

 

The meet does not go okay. The police arrive and everyone scatters. He’s seen the Count’s face and he feels the puncture when the Count injects him with the Vertigo. He spins around wildly and runs. He can hear Diggle calling after him but he moves without thinking. 

 

He nearly falls off the fire escape, plummeting to his death but grabs the railing at the last second. He falls onto her bed, shaking. The pain is intense, crawling up his insides. He feels like his brain is on fire and he’s clawing at the sheets in agony. 

 

He feels a scalding hand on his back. He hears muted words and he nearly screams. His hand wraps around a throat but he doesn’t clench. Blue eyes meet his and he rips himself away, throwing himself against the window seat.

* * *

 

“Diggle there is something wrong with Oliver!” Felicity’s voice wavers as she dials the number. Oliver is shaking and mumbling to himself but he’s barricaded himself in her bathroom. He’s scaring her and she doesn’t know what to do.

 

“He’s with you? Where?” Diggle’s voice is panicked and Felicity doesn’t know what to do.

 

“He’s here...my apartment. He’s...should I call 911?”

 

“NO! I’ll be there in two minutes. He’s on Vertigo.”

 

“What?!”

 

“He tried to meet with the Count and got dosed. It wasn’t voluntary.” The phone clicks to dead air and she waits. She wants to go to him but she’s read the stories. Vertigo can make people violent and she knows if he hurts her it will torture him. Instead she goes to the door and holds it open for Diggle. He rushes inside and closes her bedroom door to handle Oliver.

 

She’s shaking, she realizes absently as she sits in her computer chair. The file on the Count is open on her monitors and she starts to work. It’s relaxing and distracting as she starts working. Diggle had passed her the syringes upon entering her apartment and she’s eyeing the contents. She can’t do anything with them in her apartment.

 

She’s back an hour later with food and watches her bedroom door hesitantly. There is no noise coming from there but the door is still shut. Instead she heads back to work, slipping in and out of cyberspace, looking for ways to help Oliver. 

 

Her message to the Hood goes unanswered and she pauses. Hacking his computer again leads her nowhere. She knows he’s in the Glades but she can’t get an exact location. He doesn’t answer after the third message and she has to assume he’s out hunting bad guys. He’s not waiting for her to message him each night. The last time must have been a fluke.

 

Diggle slides to the floor in the doorway of the computer room sometime around 4 in the morning. He eats the cold burger absently and watches Felicity type away. She’s a mess. He can see it in her posture. She’s barely holding it together but she’s scared to ask him about Oliver. 

 

Around 5 he can’t take it any longer. He drags her from her computer and pushes her into the bedroom. Oliver is knocked out and handcuffed to her headboard. He helps her over to him and she collapses on the bed next to him, curling up against his sweating body.

 

“He’ll be okay. He should be,” Diggle murmurs. 

 

“What happened?” 

 

“He was trying to help Thea.”

 

She doesn’t answer him and he realizes she’s asleep. He leans back against her door frame and sleeps, knowing he’ll hear Oliver if he wakes up.

* * *

 

Oliver comes to slowly. His head is throbbing and his mind feels fuzzy. He hasn’t had a hangover in years but that is what this feels like. His hands are handcuffed and he can feel a weight on his chest. It takes him a few minutes but he opens his eyes cautiously.

 

Across the room is Diggle, fast asleep and on top of him is Felicity. Her glasses are still on and they’re lopsided but he can’t fix them. He coughs and then groans at the pain.

 

“Hey.” Diggle’s next to him before he can make a sound. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like I have the worst hangover ever. Can you uncuff me? I won’t attack you again. Promise.”

 

The cuffs are unlocked and Oliver reaches down to remove Felicity’s glasses.

 

“What happened?”

 

“The Count got you with half a dose. You came here and scared her. She called me and I got you calmed down enough. I had to let her in man. She was working herself to exhaustion.”

 

“Any chance our friends in SCPD took him down?”

 

“None. You need to take a few hours. You almost suffered a drug overdose. I read the reports. I don’t know how you didn’t kill her when you got in here. You were a mess.”

 

“Did I…?”

 

“No. She said you didn’t hurt her.”

 

Oliver doesn’t speak again for a long time. He just lays there, holding his girl and thinking. He kisses her forehead a while later and sits up, reaching for the spare clothes he keeps there. He feels horrible and can barely walk but he needs to head home and handle things.

 

“No.” Felicity tugs him back to the bed. “You’re staying here.”

 

He sighs, dropping back to the bed. His feet are still on the floor as he sits on the edge of her bed. She hugs him to her. 

 

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

 

“Oliver you promised you weren’t going to do anything reckless.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry. It was for Thea.”

 

“You almost died!”

 

“I have to get home. I have to check on Thea.”

 

“Fine. Come see me at work later okay? I sent the vertigo syringe for analysis.”

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He rests his forehead against hers, turning his head slightly. “I know we haven’t been together long but I don’t know what I’d do.”

 

“I didn’t expect this when I met you,” she whispers. “I’m kind of freaking out.”

 

“I didn’t either. I just know this is the best thing in my life right now.”

 

“Mine too.”

 

They don’t say anything more. Diggle finds them that way, eyes closed pressed against each other. He doesn’t say a word, watching the two of them. He knows what it is like to find solace in another person. He also knows how difficult the road will be for them when secrets start coming out.

* * *

 

Oliver doesn’t have time to deal with the police. He feels terrible and all he cares about is checking on his family. He’s barely able to stand but he holds himself still as Moira and Thea reunite. He smiles appropriately but it feels empty. He can’t feel much of anything at the moment.

 

He passes out on the stairs and wakes up in his room. Diggle is sitting nearby glaring at him.

 

“We need to go to the hospital. It could be killing you.”

 

“No. We need to go to QC and get the results from Felicity.”

 

She’s not there when he goes by. There’s just a file folder and a note. She left early, not feeling well and Oliver can understand. His call goes to voicemail but he gets a text from her telling him she’s just tired and she’ll see him later.

 

“Looks like Felicity came through,” Diggle says paging through the file. “The solvent used in the Vertigo sample was run off water originating within a ten block radius where the East Glades meet the bay. Nothing there except an old juvenile detention center abandoned 3 years ago.”

 

“Then I should suit up.”

 

“Oliver you’re still suffering from Vertigo. Can you even aim your arrows?”

 

“I have to try.”

 

He suits up anyway while Dig tries to talk him out of it. He’s lucky. He takes down the Count like it’s nothing, injecting him with Vertigo. He lets him go and rushes out of the building avoiding the police. 

 

“I heard the Hood took down the Count. You must be happy.” she says softly. She’s sitting on the porch, out of the lighting waiting for him. He staggers over to her and sits on the cold railing, watching her.

 

“I am. Why didn’t you ring the bell?”

 

“You weren’t in there.”

 

“You could have waited inside. Raisa would have made sure you were comfortable.”

 

“That’s not really the point Oliver.”

 

She stands in front of him and he looks up at her. The light frames her body and she looks ethereal. His stomach is still revolting and he looks away just to keep from making this an even more embarassing moment.

 

“I can’t do this,” she says. He looks up at her sadly. “No...god I’m not breaking up with you calm down. I can’t do this thing where I sit at home and my boyfriend goes out and puts himself in danger without telling me. I can’t stand mysteries and I can’t go home and worry and wonder where you are and if you’re meeting with drug dealers for your sister. If you’re going to do these reckless things then you need to tell me. You scared me last night Oliver.”

 

“Felicity…”

 

“No. You promise me right now. You promise you will tell me when you are going to do something reckless. You promise to tell me if you might not come home. I can’t do that. Please.”

 

“I promise to tell you if something happens and I think I won’t make it home.”

 

“Okay.” She collapses in his arms. “God.”

 

“Are we okay?”

 

“Oliver I need to tell you something.” She leans back from him suddenly and reaches into her coat pocket. “I’ve been debating telling you this for weeks. I can trust you, right? I mean of course I can trust you. Even though I know you’ve been lying to me and I hope you’ll tell me why soon because your lies are fairly ridiculous. I...don’t like it but we’re new and you were alone for five years...”

 

“Felicity I want to tell you everything, I promise. You will see me differently if I tell you.”

 

“I...I’ve been lying to you too. I need to show you something.” 

 

“What is it Felicity? You can trust me.” She hands him a book, identical to his father’s and he stares at it, paging through the list of names.

 

“Have you seen this before?”

 

“No. Where’d you get it?”

 

“From Walter. He said he found it in your house and it belongs to your mother. He thought she was hiding something...something more, and he wanted me to look into it. I think this book might be the reason.”

 

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at the book and keeps her close. She watches him go over the list of names, saying a few of them out loud. She knows a lot of the names match the Hood’s targets and wonders if he’ll make the connection. If he does, he doesn’t say anything. He just slips the book in his pocket and looks into the distance, thinking.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you follow me on Twitter (you should I tweet a lot of nonsensical ranty things about tv shows), you would have seen me say Chapter 12 took a turn. It did...in the first draft. I wrote an Olicity scene that took a sharp detour from what I intended and the two shared some stuff with each other. Then I edited. 
> 
> That scene got bumped to chapter 14 (or at least some incarnation of it). Yes that chapter 14. The chapter where Felicity finds out. We're almost there and chapter 14 will be a bit of a divergence because Oliver spends the vast majority of the episode unconscious. How boring would that be? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Realize (1.13)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this one took a NSFW turn towards the middle. Heads up!

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

Diggle is sitting in the lair looking over the two books. He’s turning each one page by page and looking for changes or indications of anything. Each name matches. The handwriting matches. They are identical in every way.

 

“So this book was your father’s and you’ve been using it to hunt criminals,” Diggle begins, “And this book is your mother’s and contains the same list.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So where did her’s come from Oliver? For that matter who gave it to you?”

 

“Felicity. She said Walter gave it to her. He found it in their bedroom.”

 

“And now he’s missing.”

 

“She’s my mother Diggle. She’s not the kind of person who would--”

 

“Have her husband disappeared? Because that’s really the question isn’t it Oliver? I understand you believing your mother over your stepfather, but I tend to believe the innocent party is whoever is missing and presumed dead.”

 

Oliver has nothing to say to that statement. There is nothing to say. Instead he takes his mother’s book and walks away, determined to get an answer. He hasn’t seen Thea since he dropped her off at CNRI two weeks earlier. He knows it is mostly because he spends most of his time at Felicity’s or prowling the streets. Either way he misses her. 

 

His mother is tugging on a business jacket when he knocks. She looks happy to see him, waving him into the room. She’s distracted and he doesn’t really want to do this now but they need to have this conversation.

 

“Mom I need to talk to you about something.”

 

“Of course. I really do need to meet with the financial planners though. Can it wait?”

 

“Mom it’s about Walter,” he says. She freezes and turns to look at him. “Right around Christmas he gave me this.”

 

He hands her the book and watches her flip through it. She’s uneasy and he can’t help but wonder if maybe Diggle is right. Maybe she is hiding something.

 

“This is your father’s notebook. He kept a list of all the people in Starling City who owed him favors. I had no idea there were so many.”

 

“Mom I’ve been researching these names and they’re not good people. We need to--”

 

“No! Oliver I have no idea who your father was involved with or what he was doing. If this is the reason Walter disappeared then we all need to stop asking questions. We need to keep our heads down and pray Walter will return to us. Promise me.” She throws the book in the fire and he watches it burn.

 

“You should never play poker Mom.” He walks away. He can hear her calling after him but he ignores her, blowing out the door with just his keys and his wallet. 

 

The bike roars to life and as he pulls out of the driveway he sees her running out onto the porch. He doesn’t stop, riding past her and trying to forget. She’s lying to him. Maybe she doesn’t know most of it but she knows something.

 

He heads to the lair hoping for some peace and quiet. He gets neither. Diggle is training and stops the moment he enters, turning to discuss the book.

 

“Where is it?”

 

“She burned it.”

 

“Don’t you think that’s a little convenient Oliver? She burns the book. She doesn’t know you have a copy.”

 

“She’s my mother Dig. I’m going to take her word she has no idea what the book means.”

 

“If this was anyone else, you’d be hooded up right now on your way to having a chat with them.”

 

“She’s my mother.” 

* * *

 

Laurel calls the Hood about Cyrus Vanch, asking him to find evidence of wrongdoing. He needs a distraction so he does as she asks. Vanch is looking to take down the biggest bully on the playground and that means the Hood. He’s not worried. Vanch is small-time. The Hood has faced bigger foes than one criminal fresh out of prison.

 

He goes to meet Laurel with the general information. She’s waiting on the rooftop for him and doesn’t hear his approach. He needs to take the phone from her so this stops happening. It’s dangerous for the both of them.

 

“Hello Laurel.”

 

“Thank you for doing this.”

 

“I couldn’t find much. His position is too heavily fortified for me to take right now. I did get this.”

 

She looks at the recorder and back to him, playing the conversation.

 

“He’s planning to make a move by taking over the vacancies left by the Triad and Bertinelli.”

 

“The vacancies you created…what is it?”

 

“We’re not alone.” He looks around before grabbing Laurel as a shield. She doesn’t flinch at the hold and looks forward as the cops burst onto the scene led by her father. Laurel is surprised but she gets angry quickly.

 

“Dad!”

 

“I’m sorry Laurel,” Oliver whispers against her ear. He shoves her forward and dives off the roof, escaping before Lance can catch up to him. Instead he heads to the lair and silence, changing into his street clothes. He heads to the only place he wants to be.

 

He had been naive to think coming home would be easy. He’s lying to everyone he knows. He’s keeping secrets. They’re keeping secrets. His family doesn’t like the fact he asks questions. His stepfather is missing. Since he’s been home his sister has almost gone to prison, Diggle almost died, his mother lost her husband, and Laurel has gotten wrapped up in something dangerous. How can he keep doing this to the people in his life?

* * *

 

“You know the neighbors told me my puppy got locked out again. I thought they were messing with me,” Felicity says as she approaches the door. “Mrs. Callihan told me I should leave out some food and water per the city law.”

 

“Your neighbors are weird.”

 

“They are but if one of them comes near you, beware. You’re a fan favorite in the building. All the ladies want to take you home. They said they have treats.”

 

He follows her inside after she unlocks the door. She’s slipping her shoes off and putting her jacket on the hook. He’s eyeing her thoughtfully. 

 

“There’s pizza on the way,” she says casually. “I hoped you might come by…”

 

“How long before the pizza?”

 

“Not long enough for that,” she says. She turns and kisses him, sliding up onto her tiptoes to meet him. She helps him slip his jacket off and unbuttons the first few buttons on his shirt. “You need to get more comfortable.”

 

“Mmm…” he murmurs next to her ear. “Are you sure we don’t have enough time?”

 

The knock interrupts them and he sighs. She slips under his arm and heads for the door, chattering to the delivery boy. He spins to take a glance at the kid who is practically salivating over his Felicity. He wraps an arm around her and gives the kid a ‘beat it’ look. The kid practically runs away and Felicity laughs.

 

“You need to stop scaring the delivery guys. The Mexican restaurant doesn't deliver anymore since you scared six of their guys.”

 

“Well they need to stop looking at you like that.”

 

“Like how you look at me?”

 

“If I look at you like that will you please hit me? I don’t want you to ever think I see you like that.”

 

“Oliver, you look at me and I feel amazing. I feel like I’m flying. Trust me you do not look at me like you think those guys are looking at me.”

 

The sit there on the rug in front of her coffee table eating pizza, drinking cheap beer and watching ridiculous reality television. He feels her sigh in contentment when he finally switches the tv over to some science fiction show. 

 

It’s only a little while later before she’s pushing him down against the rug, straddling his hips. Her skirt pools around him as he runs his hands up her smooth legs. She’s not kissing him or doing anything but sitting there perched. 

 

“How do you feel when I look at you?” she asks softly. She tugs her hair out of the ponytail and slides her glasses to the end table. Her hands slide down her body, over her breasts until they slip around to tug the zipper down. “How do I make you feel when I look at you like this? When all I can think about is you touching me?”

 

“Felicity…” he breathes.

 

“Do I make you desire?” she asks softly. Her dress slides down her torso and he watches as every inch of skin is revealed.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do I make you want?” she asks. Her bra unsnaps and he watches her toss it across the room. Her hands trail down her body, caressing her breasts gently. When he goes to move his hands she reaches down and holds them in place.

 

“Always.”

 

“Mmm…” She holds his gaze as she touches herself gently. Her fingers tease her breasts and she bites her lip in pleasure. His hands spasm on her hips and finally his slides them back stopping when he encounters nothing.

 

“I see you Oliver. I see you,” she says. “I see how alone you feel and how you try to hide it. I see how you try to shoulder the weight of the world. I see how scared you are to be here with me even though you’re happy.”

 

“Felicity…”

 

“Do I make you happy?” she asks softly, leaning over him. Her lips tease his ear and he can feel the ragged breath leaving him. He doesn’t remember ever feeling like this. She’s in control of him and he’s never ceded that level of control to anyone before. “Do I?”

 

“You...you know...I am,” he stammers. “Happy.”

 

“Good. Now...you are going to lay back and enjoy the ride for now.” She places a pillow under his head and leans back against his knees. Her hands are on his belt, tugging the zipper of his pants down. Her warm hands slide under the waistband and he clenches his teeth. He’s hot and hard and in her hand and she’s so steady, keeping an unbearably slow pace.

 

“God Felicity,” he groans. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything more before her warm mouth is replacing her hand. He bucks upward embarrassingly at the feel, reaching down to grasp her hair. She’s agonizingly slow, testing him and seeking out every pleasure point. She’s relentless as she traces veins he didn’t know he had.

 

He pulls her off of him, his mind lost in a haze. He wants her and he wants her now. He pushes her down onto the floor, pressing her hands over her head. Holding them in one hand, he rubs the other down her body, sweeping her dress lower and lower until she’s bare to him. He’s still fully clothed but she’s naked to him, open and ready.

 

She sighs when his mouth claims her breast, teasing her until she’s writhing against him pleading. In answer, he slips to her other breast delighting in her agonized moans. Finally he tugs back from her and rips his shirt over his head. Before she can move he’s tying her hands around the coffee table leg.

 

“I need both hands for you,” he says tugging her up to him. She groans when she is pressed against him tightly and can feel what she wants so close to her. Her eyes shoot open when he tugs her legs up over his shoulders. The pillow she’d given him before gets thrust under her lower back. He looks down her body and smiles. “Just lay back and enjoy the ride.”

 

“Oliver...please…” He doesn’t respond. Instead he tugs her up to his mouth, delighting in the way her body jumps. He starts with the English alphabet before switching to tracing in Russian. She’s uncontrollable, bucking and pleading, wanting more.

 

Only when she slumps in completion does he slip away from her. She’s like a fantasy. She’s limp, her hands tethered to the coffee table, and her legs spread open lazily. He slips between her thighs and reaches over to untie her hands. Her fingers trace up over his hands, his arms, his shoulders, until each hand is touching one of his scars. His fingers trace over her sweat-slicked face. 

 

“Look at me,” he commands. Her pleasure-filled eyes meet his as he slips inside her. Her mouth opens in a moan as he completes his first thrust. His hands lift her and they settle back, her knees on the floor as she straddles his lap. They feel so tight, so close. Her arms are holding them together and their lips are touching. “Look at me.”

 

“Yes.” He lifts her off of him and lets gravity work for the downstroke. He manipulates her movements--lift and slide, lift and slide, lift and...slide. Their gazes hold through kisses and moans. It’s slow and perfect. She slumps against him finally resting her head against his shoulder as he thrusts upwards. His mind hits oblivion and he kisses her. 

 

She’s limp in his arms when he carries her to bed. Under the covers he watches her sleep and strokes her arm thoughtfully. He wants to tell her everything. He needs to tell her everything. Before he can worry about any of it she slides against him. Holding her close he drifts off to sleep and doesn’t dream. 

* * *

 

He wakes up with her on top of him, slipping over him. His hands bracket her hips as she moves slowly and surely enjoying a leisurely pace. Morning sex is the best kind of sex sometimes.  She holds his gaze the entire time and doesn’t kiss him until they’re both limp with pleasure. She is kissing his neck gently as he rubs his hands down her back.

 

Later she tugs him into the shower after her and they spend long moments washing each other. Her fingers find each scar and she rubs them gently. He watches her as she rediscovers each blemish and each ripple of skin. Her own body is smooth with no marks. She has no scars on her and rubs over each inch of skin until shower sex becomes a foregone conclusion.

 

It’s only later when they are eating eggs and bacon with coffee does she speak. She’s telling him about her meetings for the day and asking him if he wants some strawberries. She’s chattering on about her boss and about the leftover pizza they can eat later. He just watches her gesturing until it slides into silence again. This is what mornings are really about, he thinks as he picks up the file of papers he left there the night before last.

 

“Pass the coffee?” He lifts the carafe and hands it to her, barely looking up while she pours. It’s domestic and he loves every second of it. He’s paging through chef resumes while she reads the morning news online. He can feel her toes against his ankle and he smiles. “What are you smiling about Mr. Queen?”   
  


“This,” he replies. He looks up and sees her watching him with her goofy smile. She reaches out and takes his hand in hers before looking away. 

 

“I have something for you,” she says quietly. He barely looks up before she slips it into his hand. “You shouldn’t have to wait for me every night.

 

He looks at the key in his hand like it’s a foreign concept. This is a key to her apartment, her life, and her home. He flips it around in his hand and looks to her. She looks unsure.

 

“I’ve never…”

 

“Me either,” she confesses. “You spend every night here...well most of them and I like it when you’re here. I sleep better. I’m about to panic if you don’t say anything.”

 

“Felicity,” he says her name softly, slowly before standing up. His hands cup her face and he tilts her face up to meet his. The kiss is slow and meaningful. He wants her to understand how much this means to him. She trusts him enough to give him a second home.

 

The knock is ignored while he kisses her. He doesn’t want the interruption right now. He just wants this moment to continue. He pulls back to look at her, eyes closed and cheeks flushed. She’s wearing no makeup and her hair is messy. She’s beautiful to him and precious. He would do anything for her. 

 

With a crushing blow he realizes he does love her. His heart starts pounding rapidly in his chest and for a moment he panics. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know he puts himself in danger every night to right his father’s wrongs. She doesn’t know about the darkness within him. She only sees Oliver Queen and he wishes that was all she would ever see. 

 

Her eyes are still shut and he’s cradling her head so carefully. His hands have killed people, tortured people. His hands have ended love and families. It would take barely a thought to hurt her. Her skin is soft and her neck fragile. For another moment he panics. His enemies would hurt her to get to him. She will always be a target. Can he walk away from her? Protect her?

 

“Oliver? Stop panicking. Whatever it is we’ll figure it out together.” She tugs him down for another kiss. And he lets himself fall into it again. Even when the knocking becomes more insistent he’s hesitant to let go of her. She makes the decision for him, patting his chair and going to the door himself. He just sits there holding the key and wondering how he’ll tell her about himself.

 

“Mr. Merlyn, what an unexpected surprise. Can I help you?”

 

“I’m looking for Ollie,” Tommy says. “Raisa said he was here.”

 

“Come in. Have some coffee,” she says as Tommy slips into the apartment. She walks up to Oliver and kisses his cheek. “You two talk. I’ll go get ready for work.”

 

She walks away grabbing her coffee cup while Tommy takes her seat. He looks at Oliver questioningly before getting his own coffee.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

 

“She gave me a key to her apartment,” Oliver says looking at his hand.

 

“Is it going to bite you or...are you freaking out right now?”

 

“She...she gave me a key. I’ve never been given a key before.”

 

Oliver grabs his keys from the counter and carefully slides the key on there, slipping it next to his own house key. He slips his keys back onto the counter and turns back to Tommy.

 

“Man you are so gone aren’t you?” Tommy asks. “I’ve never seen you like this before. You really love it here in her tiny apartment, eating breakfast and reading the paper. Don’t you?”

 

“I really do. You have no idea after being gone for 5 years and everything I went through, how amazingly lucky I feel to be here.”

 

“I would have thought you would spend every moment at your house, surrounded by luxury.”

 

“I am surrounded by luxury,” he says simply. He sips his coffee and listens to the quiet sounds of the apartment.

 

“Oliver can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Tommy every time you want to talk to me about something and that something is Laurel, you look like you’re about to tell me you have a terminal disease.”

 

Tommy looks uncomfortable and turns to look around Felicity’s apartment. It’s a lot smaller than Laurel’s and he can see Tommy taking in the way she’s made space with shelves. Her coffee table is covered in computer parts. It looks cramped and lived in and perfect.

 

“You’re really happy here...I mean I know you and Felicity have been getting closer but you love it here. Thea says you barely come home anymore and your room looks half-empty. You are moving so much faster than I am with Laurel. She won’t even give me a drawer.”

 

“Tommy what is it?”

 

“Laurel’s been working with the Hood.” Oliver knows this but he pretends he doesn’t know.

 

“You’re letting her?”

 

“I’m not letting her do anything okay? I only just found out about it because she accidentally slipped up on one of her many lies. She’s been lying for weeks! It’s like me...in every relationship I’ve ever been in.”

 

“Me too,” Oliver whispers.

 

“I think she’s attracted to him. You know Laurel is attracted to rulebreakers. Show me a more dangerous rulebreaker than the Hood.”

 

“You should talk to her Tommy.”

 

“Not to interrupt this show of masculine, protect the women conversation,” Felicity begins, “but I’ve worked with the Hood too.”

 

“What?!” Tommy asks. 

 

“I’ve been researching the Hood since he came to town. He found out and came here. He could have hurt me but he didn’t. He’s asked for my help. I’ve asked for his.”

 

“Don’t you have anything to say Oliver? Aren’t you mad at her like I’m mad at Laurel?!”

 

“No,” Oliver says quietly. He wraps his arm around her waist and tugs her close. “Felicity is really, really smart and I trust her judgment. I think you should talk to Laurel and fix this before it becomes unfixable.”

 

Tommy stands up in shock and just leaves the apartment. The door clicks shut behind him and Oliver watches after him. Felicity is right there and she’s ready for work. She touches his face gently.

 

“So you’re not mad?”

 

“We all have secrets. I have secrets.”

 

“I know. You’ll tell me soon right?”

 

“Promise.”

* * *

 

“Oliver you need to hear this and I didn’t want to come by your house,” Diggle says. Oliver turns from the computer program he’s been running to look at Diggle’s outstretched hand. In it there is a recording device and Oliver knows it was used on his mother.

 

“You bugged my mother?”

 

“Just listen.” Diggle plays the recording and Oliver freezes. He can’t make out the other person’s voice. It’s distorted. His mother’s is as clear as day. She’s talking about Carl Ballard and then...the Gambit. It was sabotaged and she knew. She knew!

 

“Somebody tried to kill my father.”

 

“Your mother was involved Oliver.”

 

“You don’t know that!”

 

“What I do know Oliver and so do you is she kept this a secret. Why would she do that if she didn’t have something to hide?”

 

They are interrupted by the Hood phone. Lance is on the line asking for help. Laurel’s been kidnapped. Oliver slips on the suit and races to the meeting. Even though he does not want to work with Lance he will try to rescue Laurel.

 

“Why come to me?” He asks upon arriving at the meet.

 

“It’s a pretty tight circle that knows about you and my daughter working together. If Vanch knows then either you talked or someone at the precinct talked.”

 

“Vanch is holed up in a mansion and I can’t take it alone.”

 

“I’m here,” Lance replies simply.

 

The mansion goes the way he expects. Each man falls before firing a single shot. He’s running out of weaponry. His quiver is empty and he has no flechettes. He is armed with his fists and his bow and he knows it won’t be enough when gets inside. 

 

Sure enough he is surrounded by Vanch’s bodyguards. He could take them but then Laurel might be killed before he can get to her. Instead he plays along, lowering himself to his knees. It’s a familiar position for him. The number of times he’s kneeled with a gun to his head. It’s only Lance’s distraction that allows him to move. He dispatches the guards and sees Lance holding Vanch down, a gun to his head.

 

“I’m the vigilante,” he yells. “You’re the cop.”

 

He leaves the father and daughter alone and listens as the sirens come closer and closer. Perched on the wall, he watches as Lance leads Laurel out to the ambulance. He watches as Vanch is escorted out of the building. He watches as his arrows are bagged as evidence.

 

He pauses to talk to Laurel before she leaves, informing her he’s done. He won’t risk her. Being close to someone is putting them in danger. He knows it’s a discussion he needs to have with Felicity. He can’t put her in danger. They took Laurel because the Hood talked to her. What if they found out about Felicity?

 

He’s dialing her number before he can think. 

 

“Hey. Are you coming by tonight?”

 

“I need to talk to you about something,” he says softly. “I need to tell you something.”

 

“Oliver are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ll meet you at your place later okay?”

 

“Oliver? Wait don’t hang u--”

 

He watches as Laurel reunites with Tommy. He’s apologetic with her. He doesn’t want to see her hurt and was worried. It’s how Oliver feels now. What if it had been Felicity in there? What if Vanch had taken her instead? Would he have gotten to her in time? Would he have been able to save her?

 

He slides down into the chair in the lair. He’s going to end it tonight. He’s going to tell her and then he’s going to end it because he can’t risk her. He can’t let her be killed for being with him. He needs to keep her safe. He loves her too much.

 

“You’re going to end things with her?”

 

“I have to Dig. Laurel almost got killed tonight because of the Hood.”

 

“I think maybe you need to let her decide,” Diggle says. “She’s a smart girl.”

 

“I’m in love with her.”

 

“I know man. You should let her decide before you cut her out of your life. That girl she’s tougher than she looks and she wants you. She trusts you. Both halves of you.”

 

“I can’t risk her life. I just can’t.”

 

“I think she might surprise you.”

 

“I need to deal with my mother first. I need to know what the Undertaking is.”

 

He leaves, suited up and his mind is not on his mother. He’s thinking about last night and breakfast. He’s thinking about the key on his keyring. He’s thinking about the way he feels when he’s with her and how soon it will all be gone.

 

His mother jumps to her feet as the Hood takes down the men she’s meeting with. She’s terrified when the arrow is pointed at her. For a second Oliver’s not sure he can do this but he does. He needs answers.

 

“Moira Queen, you have failed this city!”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're here guys. THE BIG ONE. Chapter 14 will be a little different than the previous chapters because Oliver spends the majority of it unconscious. It will also cover what happens after Oliver wakes up since episode 15 starts a little bit after 14 ends.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Know

Felicity can’t focus. She just sits at her desk clutching her phone. Her calls go straight to voicemail and when she runs the tracking software, she finds the phone turned off. There is something wrong. She can feel it. He is so secretive and when he says he needs to tell her something, she knows. Whatever he has decided to tell her is going to break them up. She just knows this is what he wants to discuss.

 

Maybe she is overreacting. Maybe it is his sister again. That has to be it. He hasn’t mentioned Thea in a few weeks and maybe there is something wrong with her probation. She turns to her computer and pulls up news sites knowing Thea Queen will make headlines. Instead all she finds are articles about the Hood taking out Cyrus Vanch and Laurel Lance being kidnapped. She reads each line of the article and then hacks into the police files, looking for the preliminary reports. Laurel Lance was kidnapped because of her connection to the Hood. Felicity’s mind whirls as she reconciles the data. 

 

Sighing she stands and grabs her purse. There is no point staying here. Oliver wants to talk to her at home and she should prepare herself. The elevator ride is so slow as she heads for the parking garage. She doesn’t even notice when a few of the security guards rush past her to the elevators. She just keeps walking and thinking about her relationship. She’s not ready for it to be over. 

 

The parking garage is creepy and she walks a little faster towards her car. She knows the security guard would walk her but she tries to put on a brave face. She can’t be the only woman to request that level of assistance. She’s from Vegas and Vegas girls are tough. She smiles at the thought of her mother running through the garage in her six inch heels and short skirts.

 

She unlocks her car and slips into the driver’s seat, adjusting the mirror and turning the car on. She turns to look behind her and freezes. The Hood is in her back seat. She looks around wildly and turns back to him. He says nothing. She reaches back and touches his chest, her hand coming away covered in blood. 

 

“Something tells me blood stains are not covered under my lease.” She groans and backs the car out. At the edge of the parking garage she pauses. Left will take her to the hospital but right...right will take her somewhere else. She looks back at the Hood slumped in her back seat and the decision is made. She turns right.

* * *

 

The south alleyway is the only place she can guarantee privacy. Getting out she pulls her phone out, connecting to the network. A few keystrokes later and the side door pops open. Glancing back at the car, she hits the lock button hoping no one wanders down the alleyway. 

 

Inside she finds him, the man she was looking for. John Diggle jumps up at her face and follows her into the alleyway. She can hear the unasked question but ignores the look. Oliver is bleeding out and she needs Diggle to do whatever he needs to do.

 

He hauls Oliver to the gurney and wheels him into the room. Before she can think, Diggle is pressing her hand against the wound and telling her to press down.

 

“I should have taken him to a hospital,” she says. 

 

“No Felicity that’s why he asked you to bring him here. He knew the police would want to know how and why he got that wound.”

 

“He didn’t ask me at all. He was already unconscious.”

 

“We can’t take him to the hospital so we’ll bring the hospital to him. Luckily he stored his blood.”

 

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

 

“Yeah. I had some medical training in the army. I just hope it’s enough.”

 

“I…”

 

“Felicity listen to me. He’ll be fine. He’s been through a lot worse than this.”

 

She just does what he commands, watching as he attaches an IV and starts working on the wound. She hands him tools when he asks but other times she just touches Oliver. She touches his hand and lets him know she’s there. 

 

Finally after nearly an hour of tension, Diggle declares Oliver is stable for now. She sits down on a nearby stool and just breathes. Diggle is watching her questioningly.

 

“You did good. You kept your head on.”

 

“Well I always wondered how I’d react to find my boyfriend shot and bleeding in my car...not that I helped because he’s my boyfriend. I’d help anyone who was shot and bleeding in my car.”

 

“I would think you would be more surprised.”

 

“Why?”

 

“So you knew?”

 

She stands and moves to look at the weaponry. She touches an arrow and sighs.

 

“I’ve known since the hospital. Well...that’s not true. I’ve known since he broke into my apartment the first time. I only confirmed it at then.”

 

“You’ve known this entire time and you haven’t said a word?”

 

“Oliver didn’t want me to know so I didn’t. I was waiting for him to tell me,” she says. “Oliver brought me a bullet-ridden laptop connected to Deadshot, a black arrow connected to the man who shot him twice, and research a company involved in armored car heists. I gave the Blackhawk fob to the Hood knowing he who he was. I would never have given it to him if I wasn’t sure he was Oliver.”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“It was little things. His hands are callused from the bow. I had to look that up. His new wounds match every wound inflicted on the Hood. There are only publicized sightings of the Hood when Oliver is with me. That’s you?”

 

“Yeah.” The conversation dies down as she sits down next to Oliver again, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. She doesn’t know what to say but when Oliver starts reacting violently she jumps.

 

“What’s happening?!”

 

“Seizure. There’s a syringe labeled ativan. Grab it! His heart stopped!”

 

“I’m calling 911 John.”

 

“No. We’ll have to try this.” He goes to use the paddles and nothing happens. “Come on. Come on.”

 

“Let me try.” She slips over to the machine and starts messing with it. Seconds later Oliver’s heartbeat fills the air and they both collapse into their chairs. 

 

“How did you do that?”

 

“I’ve been building computers since I was seven. Wires are wires.” She takes Oliver’s hand in hers again and relaxes. He’s still breathing and she can rest easy for awhile.

* * *

 

_ “Can I ask you one thing about the island?” she asks hesitantly. He looks over at her wearily and she tries to smile at him. “It’s just been bothering me.” _

 

_ “Go ahead.” he leans down to tie his shoes and she crawls up against his bare back. He leans back against her and sighs. He’s scruffier than usual and she loves it. She doesn’t like a full beard but this scruff is sexy and she just wants him to kiss her. _

 

_ “Has being stranded on a deserted island for five years soured you on going to the beach?” _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Has being stranded on a deserted island soured you on going to the beach...with me...this summer?” _

 

_ “Felicity? That’s months away.” _

 

_ “I know but we’ve been getting serious and I don’t like to get ahead of myself but I want to go to the beach with you. I’ve never been.” _

 

_ “You’ve never been to the beach?” _

 

_ “Well no. I’m from Vegas. It’s all desert and I wasn’t really much of a sunlight, beachgoer when I went to M.I.T. I was more of a basement, dark room, night time student.” _

 

_ He doesn’t say anything. He just sits there leaning back against her and thinking. She knows it’s risky. She’s asking him to make plans with her this summer which is at least 3 months away and also to go to a beach. _

 

_ “Okay,” he says finally. “We could make it a weekend. Drive down the coast and visit a beach. We could get away from the city.” _

 

_ “Can you be away that long?” she asks. He looks at her strangely and she can’t tell him why she asked. Can the Starling City vigilante even take that much time off. The city was falling apart when he was injured in December.  _

 

_ “For you...anything,” he whispers.  _

* * *

 

“He’s going into cardiac arrest again!” Diggle exclaims, jarring her out of her memories. She checks the wires.

 

“No. The leads came loose.”

 

“It’s less stressful when he’s jumping off rooftops!”

 

“That bow has put arrows in quite a few people,” she says gesturing.

 

“Bad People.”

 

“That doesn’t bother you? I mean this in a good way but you seem like the kind of guy it would bother.”

 

He tells her about Afghanistan and her time in the military. She listens closely. She’s been trying to make her own peace with Oliver’s decision to wear a hood and shoot people with arrows. Before now it was easy to keep things separate. Two men. Two identities. She knew they were the same but it was easier to pretend.

 

“What I’m doing here with Oliver? I feel good again for the first time since I got home.”

 

“And that’s worth the collateral damage? He’s killed people.”

 

“There are always casualties in a war Felicity. This is a war regardless of what people think. He came back here to save his city. The deaths bother him more than he lets on.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because he’s so worried the blood will rub off on the people he loves.”

* * *

 

_ She doesn’t know what she’s doing exactly. Oliver Queen is in her bed. He’s in her bed and he’s naked! She knew they were headed in this direction but for some reason it just never entered her mind he would be here one day. Instead they kept missing each other. _

 

_ He’s calm and quiet for the first time. He’s slept in her apartment before on her couch or even her bed a few times when they were both just so exhausted. Most nights he wakes up with nightmares, sliding away from her and pacing to the windows. After each time she gets up and holds him. She never asks about his nightmares but she hears it in his voice. She can feel the sweat on his skin. They terrify him. Her big, strong man is terrified by these demons. _

 

_ Sometimes he calls out names. Sometimes his sister or his friends. Sometimes it is her name. She doesn’t ask but she knows he’s watching them be hurt or killed in front of him. She knows it is torture to him and she does what she can. She holds him and she tells him everything is okay. She tells him he’s safe.  _

 

_ Tonight he’s calm. He’s relaxed. He’s content and instead it is she who cannot sleep. All she can do is watch over him. All she can do is rest her hand on his chest and look at the scars on his skin. He’s covered in brutal scarring and she knows they only tell a small part of his tale. He doesn’t talk about them or mention. It broke her heart to see him insecure the first time she saw him shirtless. He looked away from her while she touched him. The memory is sharp in her mind and she shakes it away.  _

 

_ Her room and hallway are in shambles after their night together. There are clothes everywhere, sheets tossed to the floor. Right now they’re both bare and it is only his body keeping her warm. Her fingers slide down over his abs and down to his hip bones. She traces the lines there and smiles. She could wake him. She wants to but he needs to sleep.  _

 

_ She lays her head down on his arm and closes her eyes. This is enough. If she only has this, she’ll be happy. _

* * *

 

She shoots up when she hears Oliver groan. Diggle is not in the room and she moves cautiously to his side. His head is facing away from her and he coughs softly. 

 

“I guess I didn’t die. Cool.”

 

She touches him lightly and he turns to face her. He’s confused. She can see it in his eyes. 

 

“How did I…?” Felicity steps away from him and heads to the computer. Diggle is back and he’ll handle the explanations. Instead she goes back to the computer and continues to work. The fact she hadn’t found his lair sooner is a bit of a mystery. His security is abysmal. 

 

“You’re okay. We managed to stabilize you,” Diggle explains.

 

“How should I explain this one?”

 

“Hickey gone wrong?” Diggle jokes. She can feel Oliver’s eyes on her but she doesn’t respond. 

 

“The police collected a sample of your blood at Queen Consolidated. I just hacked the crime lab and ordered the sample destroyed. Oops. Your system looks like it was from the eighties and not the good part of the eighties.”

 

“Felicity?”

 

“I’m going to go home now. You’re okay and I need to...think.” She gets up and leaves, noticing neither man calls after her. Outside she climbs into her car and just stops. Pressing her forehead to the wheel, she thinks. Her mind seems sluggish, like she’s been drinking all night. Sighing she starts the car and heads home. First a donut run. It’s a donut kind of morning.

* * *

 

_ “The fact you’re good at cooking should b _ _ e criminal,” she groans. Oliver is wearing an apron and stirring spaghetti sauce. She watches him work, marveling at the way he moves around her tiny kitchen. It’s almost his space since she doesn’t cook. She let him rearrange the cabinets and now it takes her five extra minutes to find anything. It’s a small price to pay when he cooks.  _

 

_ “I’ve always wanted to learn and you’re such a great taster,” he replies. “Here. Try this.” _

 

_ “Mmm…” she says tasting the sauce. “Amazing.” _

 

_ “Can you be more specific?” _

 

_ “No. It’s great. Is it almost ready?” _

 

_ “No.” He stirs some more before putting the lid on and turning to her. “I was thinking about you and the beach…” _

 

_ “You don’t want to do it? Oh no I pushed too hard..” _

 

_ “Felicity calm down,” he commands. “I actually wanted to ask you something else. It’s my birthday in May and I...was wondering if you might want to go camping with me?” _

 

_ “Camping? Like...nature and dirt...and bugs?” _

 

_ “I know it’s not really your thing but I miss it. The trees and the absolute silence. It was my type of home for a long time and I want to share it with you...what it was like sometimes.” _

 

_ He looks so unsure and she feels it, that slow slide into something more. She’s been in love before. She knows what that feels like...or what it did feel like. This is something different, something more.  _

 

_ “I would love to,” she hears herself saying. He smiles and leans into kiss her quickly before turning back to the stove. All she can think is the man in front of her...he might be the one. _

* * *

 

She doesn’t even realize when she starts crying. She’s just a wreck. She’s sitting in her car in front of her building, eating powdered donuts, and crying. She’s broken. This isn’t her. Why is she crying?

 

She finally staggers up the steps and unlocks her door, dropping everything to the floor but the last donut. She looks at the mirror and gasps. There is a stripe of blood across her upper body. It’s Oliver’s blood. She rips off the shirt and throws it in the trash knowing she’ll never wear it again. 

 

She strips down and pulls on her favorite pajamas. The bed is still unmade from the other night when Oliver was there. It feels forever ago. She crawls under the covers and pulls the blankets up hoping she’ll fall asleep quickly.

* * *

 

_ “So what did you and Laurel...or Sara...or the many talk about?” she asks suddenly. They have been walking through the big park by her apartment and it struck her suddenly. They’ve been talking about all kinds of things and now she wonders. He even listened to her ramble on about Doctor Who for way longer than non-fans should.   _

 

_ “I couldn’t tell you,” he replies simply. _

 

_ “What do you mean?” _

 

_ “I was a terrible person then,” he continues. “I didn’t care what we talked about and I honestly don’t think I could tell you anything they told me. I was selfish and horrible and I just wanted one thing.” _

 

_ “Oh.” For some reason that bothers her. What does that say about her that he would rather talk for two hours in the park than sleep with her. Was she bad? Did she do something? _

 

_ “Now I want it all,” he says. “I want to know everything about you. I want normal and serious and everything.” _

 

_ “Oliver…” _

 

_ “Like this,” he whispers. Right there in the middle of the park he stops everything to kiss her. She can hear people going around them, grumbling about the couple in the middle of the path. She doesn’t care. _

* * *

 

She wakes up hours later and groans. Her head feels like a sledgehammer has been hitting it for hours. She sits up and rubs her eyes, sighing.

 

“John said you knew.” She spins to look at him. He’s sitting slumped in the armchair in the corner. He looks exhausted and he’s unkempt. He looks like he’s been working out for hours but she knows that’s not true.

 

“I’ve known for months,” she replies. She’s tired and she doesn’t know why. It’s been at least eight hours. There should be egg rolls. She needs egg rolls.

 

“How?”

 

“Oliver you’re not exactly...good at lying. You have terrible cover stories and then you’re always just a tiny bit coincidental. You happen to be with me and the news covers a rare appearance of the Hood. The Hood doesn’t make those mistakes because you make sure you’re not seen. You rush off randomly and then there are reports of the Hood stopping someone.”

 

“Felicity…”

 

“I’m a hacker Oliver. I’ve been watching the Hood since you started. I’ve seen every bit of footage covering the Hood. I also have a hard drive filled with evidence I’ve collected on my own. I’ll destroy it later. Plus there is the most important thing…”

 

“What is that?”

 

“I know every inch of your body Oliver,” she says gesturing her hand towards him.. “This bullet wound from Deadshot? These arrow wounds from the archer? This new wound from your mother? The vertigo O.D.? The bruises? I know your body Oliver. That alone told me.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No. I understand why you didn’t tell me. What I don’t understand is why you were going to break up with me last night?”

 

“You figured that out too?”

 

“I’m really, really smart Oliver.”

 

“You are. Last night Laurel got kidnapped by someone who wanted to hurt the Hood. I care about Laurel and I went for her.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“No...you don’t. Vanch took someone who is a friend, an old friend. I care a lot about her but she’s still just a friend. I can’t even begin to imagine if they took someone I love.”

 

“Thea and your Mom have round-the-clock guards. They’ll be fine.”

 

“I wasn’t talking about them.”

 

“But...oh!” Her mind is racing. She knew she was falling in love with him but she has not really considered the fact he was falling in love with her too. For some reason that entire concept seems ridiculous. He’s...and she’s…

 

“I thought about what I would do if he’d taken you and I couldn’t even consider it. I need you safe Felicity. I always need you safe and if being close to me makes you a target then I have to say goodbye.”

 

“Idiot,” she grumbles.

 

She stands up and moves in front of him. She’s standing there in her bare feet in cupcake pajamas and he’s going to listen to her. She’s going to make him. She’s stared down scarier things in her life than him.

 

“Now let’s talk Mr. Queen. You are not the boss of me and I am the only one who decides whether I need someone’s protection. You were going to make this decision without me, without asking me what I wanted and that is not okay. That is never okay. Isn’t the whole point of a relationship to get through the hard times, to fight our way through it together and to make decisions together?”

 

“Felicity?”

 

“I love you and I want to be with you and I want to join your insane crusade. I want to be by your side through all of this because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes! You even beat out M.I.T and that’s saying a lot!. You are not going to make decisions without me either! If we’re over then we are both going to agree or you are going to have to convince me you don’t love me.”

 

“Felicity.”

 

“Don’t Felicity me. I’m serious. I love you and I’m already part of your team. I’m practically an honorary member and I want the secret handshake and the keycodes. I want my own chair and I want to help find Walter. I also want to make sure you never do that to another computer system again. That was embarrassing.”

 

“Felicity...can I talk now?” 

 

“What? If you hold up your hand to placate me, I’m going to rip it off.”

 

“Okay...you’re scary when you’re mad,” he says taking her hands in his. “What I’m doing...what Dig and I are doing is dangerous. I almost died tonight because of my mother. I...no...my turn. I know you’re strong and committed. I know you can do this. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can go out there every night knowing you’re a target.”

 

“I’ve been a target for months Oliver. I’m good but I’m not the only hacker out there.”

 

“If we do this...if you come down into the lair and join this war then...there will be some rules. You’ll need to do what I say when it comes to the Hood. You’ll need to stay safe always. You’ll carry a tracker on you at all times. I can change or add to these at any time. Okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Now about the other thing,” he begins tugging her down to his lap. “I love you. I know it was implied but I wanted you to hear it from me now.”

 

“I wanted to hear it. Oliver we need to get one thing straight.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You only get one of these. You don’t have to sit down and tell me everything that happened to you right now but you don’t get to keep things from me for months at a time because...you feel like it. If you are sitting there wondering how I’m going to react then that means you need to tell me. Got it?”

 

“Got it. So we’re okay Felicity?”

 

“I want egg rolls so...get on that. Then we’ll be okay.”

 

“I just...I didn’t expect you to accept this...or me.”

 

“Like you said, I’m remarkable.”

* * *

 

Felicity watches him sleep again. She was laying on his other side tonight out of fear she would hit his wound in her sleep. She did demand he take the pain medicine Diggle gave him even though he didn’t want it. Thirty minutes later he’s asleep and she’s moved the Chinese food they’ve been eating to her bedside table. 

 

“You scared me today,” she whispers to him. “I don’t know if we can make it or go the distance but I know I want to try.”

 

She leaves him in bed, padding to her computer room. Connecting the drive up to it she pages through the evidence she has collected on the Hood and Oliver Queen. A few keystrokes start the delete. Each percentage of data is just another bit closer to protecting him. She can do so little to keep him safe but she knows being down there, running the computers and deleting any evidence found on him will keep him safe. She can’t even think about the bullets or arrows or other weapons that will be used against him. She can’t do anything about them.

 

She works tirelessly and hacks into Queen Consolidated. Each video feed is systematically reset and each bit of footage from the evening is wiped. She back tracks across town working the route Diggle said he took. Each surveillance camera is wiped clean and countless servers are messed with by her. Silently she takes out each place and loops footage to create a seamless evening. She scrubs the footage the police has, edits the files Detective Lance keeps, and orders all evidence related to the Hood to be destroyed. 

 

“Have you slept?” he asks suddenly. His hands clap down on her shoulders and she moans when his fingers begin their massage. “What are you doing?”

 

“Erasing the Hood from his attack on Moira Queen,” she says. “I took out 15 surveillance cameras, 3 tapes of police evidence, and 1 back-up blood sample.”

 

“I didn’t expect for you to join the team tonight.”

 

“I’m not going to let them lose sight of the issues. Detective Lance wants to take down the Hood because he’s missing the point. You are doing good out there even when I disagree with the methods. Crime is down and some of the biggest cockroaches in town have scurried away. Taking down the Hood is not going to fix anything.”

 

“Have you slept at all?”

 

“No.”

 

“Come to bed,” he urges. When she doesn’t move he scoops her up ignoring her protests about his wound. She keeps watching it, expecting it to start gushing blood at any second. Instead he settles her back down and begins to talk.

 

She listens when he tells her about Yao Fei. He tells her about almost killing himself in that cave. He tells her about being tortured by Billy Wintergreen and the time right after arriving on the island he thought he would never come home. He doesn’t tell her everything and she doesn’t ask. Instead she just snuggles up closer to him and hugs him. He’s been through so much and she doesn’t know how he made it. Well she does. He’s the strongest person she’s ever met but still...what he went through.

 

The both fall asleep tangled together and when she wakes up, he’s gone. She rubs the empty space and looks around wondering if she dreamt it all.

 

“I want to take you home with me.” She looks up in the doorway and smiles. He’s fresh from the shower and the towel is riding low. “I want you to meet my family.”

 

“Oliver?”

 

“No...we keep putting it off and I love you. I want them to know you. I want them to see how happy I am.”

 

She smiles when he gathers her hands in his and kisses them. She crawls up on her knees and embraces him, breathing in the smell of his soap. His hands slip down over her hips and points to one of the cupcakes.

 

“I like these,” he says. “They’re cute.”

 

Turns out they look a lot cuter to him on the floor.

* * *

 

“What if they don’t like me?” she asks. “Maybe we should do this another time. Maybe it’s a bad idea. Your mom was attacked by the Hood and she shot you and now you’re healing from being shot…”

 

“Felicity, they are going to love you.” She tugs on the pink dress she’s wearing and messes with the hem while he drives. “Everything is going to be fine.”

 

“You don’t know that. I’m just the I.T. girl at Queen Consolidated. You live in an estate. It’s not just a house Oliver. It’s an estate!”

 

“You are not just the I.T. Girl.” He grabs her hand and she links her fingers with his. He’s so calm and she can’t understand it. Isn’t he worried? Shouldn’t be be worried?

 

He doesn’t say anything when he helps her out of the car. He just takes her hand and leads her to the front door. She looks around the yard and just shakes her head. This amount of wealth is baffling. How could he feel so comfortably in her tiny apartment when he has all of this? She’s been here before but she never really looked at it. 

 

“It’s just a house Felicity.” She spins around in the entryway. That last few times she has been here she was always so distracted.by Oliver or the potential loss of her job to notice. He takes her hand and pulls her towards the stairs, pulling her past countless expensive paintings until he’s pulling her into what must be his room.

 

She’s never been here and she walks around the room, touching random pictures and trinkets lying around. She smiles when she encounters so of their pictures and turns realizing his room is filled with them. She’s in the pictures by his bed and her Christmas gifts are on his desk...well the dreamcatcher anyway.

 

“I usually carry the compass,” he confesses. “It’s in the lair because I went after you.”

 

“This room doesn’t feel like you,” she says spinning around. “I thought you’d have lots of nature artwork or plants in here but it feels...cold.”

 

“I don’t really spend a lot of time here. “

 

She ends up sitting down at his computer and upgrading his system while he massages her shoulders. His fingers are warm and she almost deletes important files when he hits that one spot. He kisses her and her fingers pause on the keys.

 

“Ollie! Where have you been?” 

 

They break apart and turn. Thea Queen is standing in the doorway and Felicity watches in awe as the anger Thea had a minute ago melts into shock. 

 

“Speedy!” Oliver and Felicity stay frozen in place as Thea Queen walks across the room to stand in front of them. Her eyes slip down to look at Oliver’s hands resting on Felicity’s shoulders. Moving around the desk she looks at the screen.

 

“Wow...you are good at computers. I thought maybe Tommy was lying. I mean my brother and a computer genius? Not what someone would ever...ever guess.”

 

“Speedy this is Felicity Smoak,” Oliver says warmly. “Felicity this is my sister Thea.”

 

“Oliver talks about you all the time,” Felicity says. 

 

“He never talks about you but then...he’s really secretive.”

 

“Speedy…”

 

“Get out Ollie. I want to talk to Felicity alone.”

 

“Speedy…”

 

“Out!” Oliver finally moves slipping the door closed behind him, shooting Felicity a slightly worried look.

 

“So let’s talk computer girl,” Thea says sliding up to sit on the desk. “Are you interested in my brother’s money or is it real?”

 

“It’s real.”

 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

 

“You don’t I guess. I know he loves you more than anything Thea and I know I love him. So...I want you to like me but I’m more worried about Oliver. He’s my first concern.”

 

“You love him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then that’s enough for me,” Thea says before hopping off the desk. “If you hurt him, I’ll destroy you.”

 

Felicity nods and watches Thea head for the door, opening it and gesturing to Oliver. She looks at him and smiles, nodding at his unasked question.

 

“Mom’s not here but I want to have lunch with you guys. Raisa made your favorite.”

 

“Thanks Speedy,” he says hugging her.

 

“Always Ollie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Felicity already knew. Next up is going to be a shift in the Olicity relationship (good I promise). Some of the best conversations between them happen in the upcoming episodes but now they're together. The Honeymoon period is over now they are reconciling the day and night lives. So there's that. 
> 
> I went back and forth for days on Felicity meeting Moira and Thea. The Moira scenes just weren't working so I took her out for now. Instead I gave Thea the scene. After all Thea is a much more important character.
> 
> Felicity chapters may happen again or they might share chapters because there are things I'd like to explore like Felicity/Thea scenes or Felicity/Diggle scenes.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Home (1.15)

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

Oliver finds the whole situation somewhat awkward. Felicity is walking ahead of him arm-in-arm with Tommy as she asks him all about Laurel. Tommy is in the market for an anniversary gift now they are hitting 6 months of an official relationship. He’s not sure how Felicity manages it but Tommy agrees to not ask for Thea’s help. Oliver realizes another talk with his little sister is in order. This crush on Tommy needs to stop.

 

He turns leaving them to it and looks down at the jewelry counter. He knows they’ve only been together for a few months but for some reason he feels like they’ve been together longer. He hasn’t been looking for anything specific but then he sees them. He’s tugging out his credit card and gesturing to the sales lady. Then he points to the simple bracelet with a heart locket and pays for that as well. It will hold the tracker he wants her to carry.

 

“What are you doing?” He jumps when she slips up next to him. Thankfully he has slipped the gift in his pocket and it is only the simple bracelet that she sees. He picks it up to show her and explains the purpose. She nods at it and then slips against him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

 

“Thank you for helping Tommy.”

 

“He’s one of your best friends Oliver and he’s completely clueless about women. It’s partly adorable and partly concerning.”

 

“Tommy has always been a bit clueless about women.”

 

“Clearly. So I’m going to leave you two alone and head back to work okay? I’ll see you tonight?”

 

“Yeah...the keycodes are--”

 

“Really?” she asks. “If I get stumped by the easy to hack keycode box, I’ll just hack in. I need to up your security. It’s terrible. See you tonight!”

 

“You guys are really doing well huh?” Tommy asks. “I thought I would be the one in the really serious relationship but it’s you two.”

 

“When it’s right, it’s right Tommy.”

 

“Sometimes I worry about my relationship with Laurel. I mean we’ve been seeing each other for years and we’ve been in a serious relationship for six months. You guys just met 6 months ago and you two will probably get engaged soon.”

 

“We’re not quite there yet Tommy.”

 

“You two basically live together. I’m not saying you two should start picking out china patterns or whatever but you have to know that is where you two are headed right?”

 

“Tommy...what’s going on with Laurel?”

 

“I don’t know. I love her but sometimes I wonder if she’s just with me because I’m convenient. I still don’t have a drawer or a key...or any future commitment,” Tommy says sadly. “Felicity just told me about your camping and beach trips.”

 

“It’s not a competition Tommy. Just tell Laurel how you feel.”

 

“The trouble is I don’t know if she’d care.”

* * *

 

Felicity watches in fascination as Oliver works out in the dim lighting. He’s freer down here and she watches as he goes from one activity to another, pummeling a training dummy before moving onto target practice. Diggle’s been watching him for awhile too and shrugs his shoulders at her look.

 

“So who’s the target tonight?” Diggle finally asks.

 

“Ken Williams. His pyramid scheme stole millions and ruined people’s lives. You two can head home. I don’t anticipate any problems.”

 

Felicity pulls the information on Ken Williams and skims the important stuff. Her eyes zero in on information about Mr. Williams son and she hits the locks on the doors. She hears Oliver heading for the door and braces herself.

 

“Felicity! Did you just--”

 

“Override the lock? Maybe a little.”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Did you know Mr. Williams is a widowed father of a 10 year old boy? I’m here to help you make a difference and find Walter. I’m not going to be an accessory to orphaning little kids.”

 

“I’m just giving him a warming.”

 

“Has it ever occurred to you you could do some real good in the city? Beyond just recovering people’s stock portfolios and their savings accounts?”

 

Oliver leans down and for a moment he’s a stranger. He’s harder and more unforgiving. His eyes are blazing and for a second she realizes she doesn’t know this man. The Hood is not just a costume...it’s a hidden part of him.

 

“You are not the only one who knows how to reboot my system,” he says pressing the button.

 

“Maybe I made a mistake,” she says standing up. 

 

“Getting in my way?”

 

“No...signing on with you. If this is the kind of man you are going to be then I…forget it.” She storms out, not looking back. She didn’t sign up for this. She’s not going to be a part of hurting kids no matter who their father is.

* * *

 

“Maybe we should come back later Oliver? What if she goes to the police?”

 

“She won’t say anything Dig. She’s mad at me or disappointed. I’m used to that.”

 

“What would you have done if I had decided to go to the police?”

 

“Put an arrow in you.” 

 

“Hm...I wondered how long it would take you two to show up here.” Felicity bursts in past them and takes her seat, bringing up her daily work. She glares at the two of them before starting to type furiously.

 

“Felicity…” Oliver tugs her chair to face him. “I was worked up on adrenaline last night and I’m not used to you being down there and seeing me like that. I was hoping you’d give me the opportunity to make it right.”

 

“Did Mr. William’s also get to enjoy your adrenaline last night?”

 

“No. He returned the money he stole just in time to put his son to bed. It was just a warning.”

 

All three of them are distracted by the news story playing on her computer listening as Detective McKenna Hall discusses Dodger and the SCPD’s cooperation with Interpol. Diggle moves closer and leans down to see the news story.

 

“I heard about this guy,” Diggle says gesturing to the screen. “They call him the Dodger because he avoids getting his hands dirty. He uses hostages to do his stealing for him. Puts a bomb collar around their neck and if they refuse then he takes their heads off.”

 

“Too bad his name’s not on your list,” Felicity says.

 

“Every once in awhile I make an exception. How about the three of us take him down?”

 

He offers her his hand and she looks at it. This is different. They might sleep together but now he’s offering her a partnership in his crusade against criminals in Starling City. In a weird way it almost felt like a marriage proposal and he started to think about Tommy’s comments earlier.

 

She takes his hand and stands. She reaches out and takes Dig’s hand too. He shakes her hand and there they are, the team who will protect the city. It’s not exactly what he envisioned when he started this mission and yet he wouldn’t change a thing.

* * *

 

Hours later the three of them slide into a booth at Big Belly Burger. Diggle slides in next to Felicity and smirks. Oliver sighs and takes his place across from her watching as she pages through the menu. 

 

“So this how you guys figure out how to get your target? Over burgers and shakes?”

 

Oliver leans back and just watches as Diggle flirts with Carly and Felicity places her order, ordering for him as well. Felicity gives Diggle crap about Carly and Oliver laughs.

 

“Can we just get back to crime fighting please?” Diggle says.

 

“Actually Dig, you should ask her out,” Oliver replies.

 

“Uh huh…”

 

“Look I’m already in a relationship,” Oliver begins, “A good one and maybe it’s time you do something about your love life.”

 

Diggle frowns but gets up to go see Carly leaving Oliver with Felicity. She is looking at her phone and frowning.

 

“So you know the Detective right? Old girlfriend?” Felicity asks.

 

“Not really a girlfriend.”

 

“Okay I don’t want to know but what if you went and asked her out as a friends catching up kind of thing and put a little tech that I work up on her phone. Then everything she knows, we’ll know.”

 

“Hmm...it’s not how I typically get my information.”

 

“How do you typically do?”

 

“Felicity, I find the person and then I put the fear of God into them until they talk. But we can try your way.”

 

“Less bloody,” she says. “Do you think we’ll get our food soon or are we on our own?”

 

“We’re probably on our own. Diggle’s still stammering.”

 

He reaches over and takes her hand in his. They have been dancing around their new status the past few days and he can feel the distance. Now that she knows about him their relationship is altered. He has spent the past few days worrying about it. If this job doesn’t go well then he can’t help but wonder what it will mean for them.

* * *

 

Oliver goes to see McKenna and manages to slip the tech on her phone. When he suggests catching up he doesn’t think much of her reaction. He’ll meet her at eight for some food and then hopefully they can work on catching Dodger.

 

He runs into Thea in his room which strikes him as incredibly strange. She’s sitting at his computer and muttering into her cell phone. 

 

“You have a hot date with Felicity?” she asks and gestures to his clothes after slamming her phone shut. He glances down and frowns. He thinks he is dressed normally. 

 

“I’m meeting an old friend for dinner.”

 

“You are not going back to your old ways are you? Please say no because I really like Felicity. She’s good for you.”

 

“I’m not cheating on Felicity, Speedy.”

 

“Well you look awfully fancy for an old friend meeting. I have to take this but can you ask Felicity if we can go shopping at 11 on Saturday instead of 9? CNRI moved my hours…”

 

“Sure.”

 

He heads to the restaurant and thinks about the fact Thea seems to already love Felicity after one lunch. He found them hours after the lunch sitting on her floor looking at Thea’s laptop. Later when he took Felicity home she talked endlessly about him being lucky to have a sister. He wants them to have a good relationship. He is more worried about his mother’s reaction. His mother notoriously hates everyone he’s ever brought home...except Laurel. Weirdly enough Moira Queen seems to identify with Laurel Lance.

 

“Hey,” McKenna says when he comes in. The waiter is discreet and suddenly McKenna is hugging him. He realizes very quickly he did not clarify this meeting. He had thought they were meeting at a casual spot and this is much fancier than he expects. McKenna is flirty and he’s trying to find balance again.

 

“Hi McKenna.” 

 

The order quickly and he’s trying to figure out how to make it clear this is not a romantic date. McKenna fills him in on the last five years and then looks at him expectantly. He doesn’t know what to say to her. He just knows he can’t actually tell her about what happened.

 

“What did you do? What did you eat? Where’d you sleep? How did you survive?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Sorry it’s just I haven’t been on a date with a guy in a really long time that didn’t result in my reading him his rights. I mean the years must have changed you.”

 

“Yeah...McKenna?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“McKenna I think there has been a misunderstanding.”

 

“Oh?” She’s distracted when the food comes and he’s not sure how to bring it up. His phone vibrates and he tugs it out.

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Something important?” she asks.

 

“I...just a reminder. I need to tell you I thought this was just a friendly catch-up.”

 

“Oh...oh!”

 

“It’s just I’ve been in a serious relationship for months now and this is her calling me to remind me about a meeting.”

 

“It’s okay…it’s my mistake.”

 

“I don’t have a lot of friends from the old days and I just wanted to reconnect. Felicity actually inspired me to reach out.”

 

“You sound happy Oliver.”

 

“I am.” The conversation turns to more friendly topics. They discuss the past few months and McKenna tells him about the academy and working with Detective Lance. He tells her about Felicity and reconnecting with his old friends. It’s nice. Before they can get talk about anything else she is called away to deal with a Dodger issue. Oliver is not far behind.

* * *

 

The SCPD raid is a bust and Oliver heads back to the lair. He finds Felicity working hard on the computer, cross-referencing everything the Dodger is known to have taken. Diggle is working on weapon maintenance. He slips his bow to the desk next to her and just watches. Her fingers fly across the keys and he watches. It’s almost sensual how her fingers move across the keyboard and he gets distracted.

 

“These all look like they’re from the ominous decade,” she says. He has to reign in his fantasies for the time being and shakes his head to focus on her.

 

“Are there any other places that sell or display items from the ominous thing?”

 

“Decade and no. I guess people in Starling City prefer the Elizabethan era.”

 

“There is a fundraising auction tomorrow night. We could lure him out into the open.”

 

“With a fake?”

 

“No Felicity. The Dodger seems to have a trained eye.”

 

“Where are we going to get our hands on a rare Spanish antiquity?”

 

“You still have no idea how rich his family is, do you?” Diggle asks. Felicity spins and looks at Oliver and he shrugs. He’s used to the money but he notices her eyes widen. It has been somewhat amusing to show her bits and pieces of his wealth recently. She never seems to grasp the concept.

 

“You can just buy a rare Spanish antiquity? Like...going to a store?”

 

“I can probably buy a few of them without needing to involve a money guy. We could check the Queen holdings. We might already own one.”

 

Felicity just stares at him, her mouth opening and closing with no sound. In response he heads off to change. When he returns Diggle is gone and she’s sitting their lining up a rare Spanish antiquity for the auction. He takes her hand and tugs her from the computer and pulls her towards the South Alleyway. She follows behind him but still doesn’t say anything. She has to have seen the price tag on some of the antiquities. 

 

“Ice cream?” he asks quietly. She nods and follows him to his bike. She’s always a little unsure on the motorcycle and he loves the fact it makes her hold him tighter. He waits for her to get on the bike and adjust the helmet he got just for her. Her arms hug his body tightly and he can feel her excitement by the way she’s slipping against his back. Even though this frightens her, she loves every second.

 

They sit down at the formica tables after ordering what must be the biggest ice cream sundae he’s seen. Felicity just picks up a spoon and goes to town. He eats more slowly watching her. Once he starts eating she slows down, pausing to look at him.

 

“I think we should get a bigger place,” she says suddenly. “Maybe three or four bedrooms?”

 

“Felicity...what?”

 

“Well my apartment is the best I can afford but since you’ve basically moved in...we should talk about that. I know we’ve only been together a few months but you’ve been living with me for more than half that time. I know we pretend you still live at home but you really don’t. So I was thinking maybe when my lease is up later this year we could maybe go into a place together? Unless you don’t think we’ll be together or something.”

 

“Why wouldn’t we be together?” She pauses and eats some more of the ice cream. She looks down at her hands and sighs.

 

“Because I’m still insecure about all this,” she admits. “You’re Oliver Queen and well I keep expecting you to get bored. You like sports and I like Doctor Who. I like spending hours holed up in front of a computer and you like camping. I just don’t know if this...will last all the differences.”

 

“Do you love me?” 

 

“You know I do Oliver.”

 

“I love you too. That’s enough for now. I know our interests are...different. I love watching Doctor Who with you even though I don’t understand it. I love watching you work on your computers. Don’t tell me you do not like watching sports with me because you are way more competitive than I am. Mrs. Callihan called the cops on your very vocal cheering last week not me.”

 

“To be fair she thought I was hurting you. Can you believe she rushed to your aid? You, the man who can bench press a truck?”

 

“Not exactly a truck...my point is we’re doing this stuff together and that’s what matters to me. When is your lease up?”

 

“November. I can probably get out of it sooner but...it will give us time to work things out and make sure we’re good. We can make sure the whole Hood thing is working between us. I just figured you might as well move in officially instead of us pretending you go to the Queen Estate. You haven’t actually slept there in weeks.”

 

“Point taken. We could...look at houses if you’d prefer.”

 

“There is no way I can afford the housing prices in Starling.”

 

“Felicity, I’m worth a lot of money. If you want a house, I can make that happen.” She sits her spoon down and takes his hand in hers.

 

“I know that. I do. I just want it to be our place. I want my money to matter too. I work really hard.”

 

“Your money does matter Felicity. I’m just saying we can have what we want too. What you bring into this relationship is so much more than what I do. I can bring money. You bring everything.”

 

“Oliver...we need to work on your self-esteem but okay we can talk about it over the summer and look at our options assuming…”

 

“Nothing’s going to change right now Felicity. Trust me.”

 

Later when he’s sliding to the bed next to her and both are panting in pleasant exhaustion does he realize Tommy is right. Him and Felicity are on the road to marriage. They are moving really fast. Marriage always worried him before but right now...it’s such a terrible idea. It’s not time yet, nowhere near time yet, but it’s not a scary concept with Felicity. 

 

He smiles when she snuggles up against his side and he looks around her place. She’s leaving the door open for him to officially move in and he wants to. He’s just not sure she’s ready. She just found out about the Hood officially and she has not figured out if it is something she’ll be okay with long term. Maybe he can hold out a little longer until she’s sure. 

 

“Shh...you’re thinking too loudly.”

 

“Sorry.”

* * *

 

Laurel is sitting drinking her coffee and reading the paper when Tommy finally stumbles into the room. He doesn’t sleep until the middle of the afternoon anymore but he still sleeps much later than she does. It bothers her sometimes when she’s ready to go somewhere and has to sit and wait for him to finally get up. Oliver was an early riser even back before the island. He often got up before her. She’s just not used to this.

 

“Hey. Sorry I slept in. I’m heading to Ollie’s for breakfast,” he says. He grabs his wallet and keys off her table and she nearly grimaces at the sound the keys make as they are dragged across her table. 

 

“Can I come?” she asks suddenly. “I haven’t seen Ollie in a while.”

 

“Sure...I guess,” Tommy says awkwardly. “I’ll just call him.”

 

“No let’s surprise him,” she says. She grabs Tommy’s hand and pulls him towards the door. She hasn’t seen Moira in a while and Thea’s purse was just stolen. She can see if Thea found the guy yet. The two head down to the car and Tommy starts driving, not really saying anything to fill the silence.

 

“Tommy shouldn’t we have turned back there?” she asks.

 

“No.” Tommy pulls up in front of some old townhomes that have been converted to apartments and she follows him. She can’t understand why they are here when the Queen Estate is in the other direction. An older woman waves to Tommy and she hears him call her Mrs. Callihan before turning the corner. She stands beside him while he knocks.

 

“Tommy!” Felicity Smoak opens the door and hugs Tommy before stepping back. “Oh Laurel, how nice to see you.”

 

“Hi,” Laurel says awkwardly. She suddenly realizes her and Tommy are at Felicity’s place and Oliver must be here. The two enter the apartment and Laurel is struck by how cramped it seems. She glances around and her gaze lands on Oliver holding a spatula while he works on pancakes.

 

“Are you joining us Felicity?” Tommy asks warmly. Laurel rolls her eyes when Felicity and Tommy start talking about lunch the other day. She doesn’t really care about any of this.

 

“Oh no. I have meetings. Oliver’s just making my breakfast first so I can take it with me.”

 

“Felicity do you want bacon in the sandwich?” She moves away from Tommy and Laurel and heads into the tiny kitchen. Laurel watches as Felicity leans over to eat a piece of bacon Oliver is feeding her. 

 

Tommy sits down at the counter and Laurel can’t help but notice his look of longing as he stares at Oliver and Felicity. Laurel takes the seat next to Tommy and watches Felicity lean against Oliver and rub her hand over back. His non-spatula hand slips around her waist. Laurel looks away when Oliver leans down to kiss Felicity.

 

“Okay so here is your pancake, egg breakfast sandwich,” Oliver says a few minutes later. He’s wrapping the food in foil and handing it off to her. “In the brown bag you have yogurt, fruit, and leftover Chinese. Try to remember to eat lunch today please.”

 

“I’ll try,” she says. “I haven’t had a packed lunch in years. You take such good care of me.”

 

“I want to not get a call from the hospital about you passing out at your computer again.”

 

“Promise.” She kisses him again and Laurel looks away. Felicity walks over to Tommy and hugs him. “Don’t let him get into too much trouble Merlyn. We have plans tonight.”

 

“I’d listen to her Tommy. Felicity is incredibly scary.” Felicity swats at Oliver before grabbing her bags and leaving the apartment. Oliver turns and smiles at Laurel. “Hey I thought it was just Tommy and me today.”

 

“I decided to tag along,” Laurel says watching as Oliver pours them all coffee. “Hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Of course not.I have a breakfast casserole in the oven so there is plenty to go around.”

 

“Who are you and what have you done with Oliver Queen?” Tommy asks.

 

“I’ve been learning to cook,” Oliver admits. “It’s fun and Felicity has terrible eating habits so it helps me keep her healthy.”

 

“I didn’t realize you guys were still together,” Laurel says. 

 

“Yeah, it’s been...almost three months. It feels longer in a good way.”

 

“Ollie’s getting ready to pick out the ring. Right man?” Tommy says laughing.

 

“We’re not there yet Tommy. Felicity did mention looking for a bigger place though,” Oliver says looking around. “It’s pretty cramped here and we were talking about looking for a three bedroom with more space so I can bring some furniture. It’s a few months off though. I’m going to try and convince her to let me buy a house.”

 

“Wow you guys are getting really serious,” Tommy replies.

 

“Well I want outdoor space and not the rooftop penthouse kind. Our relationship is still kind of new so she’s hesitant.”

 

“So has she met your mom yet?” Laurel asks. Moira Queen always liked her but hated everyone else Oliver dated. It’s one victory she has always had.

 

“Not yet. She met Speedy last week and she seems to like her. They’re going shopping this weekend. Mom’s been pretty busy with the company and with Walter still missing, we didn’t really want to rub it in. Raisa loves her though. I thought Raisa was going to fight me over us going home.”

 

“Oh…” Laurel says quietly. Raisa never cared much for her. Oliver turns to get the food out of the oven and get their plates ready. Tommy picks up a stack of photos lying across the counter and starts flipping through them. 

 

“I didn’t realize,” Tommy gasps. “I...your back? How have I not seen your scars?”

 

“I usually wear a shirt. I don’t like to show people,” Oliver says softly. “Felicity snapped that one while I was exercising.”

 

“I was actually talking about this one of you sleeping but yeah...sure exercising.”

 

“Which one?” Oliver puts the spoon down and picks up the photo. Laurel knows he hasn’t seen this picture and watches in sadness as he smiles. “I didn’t see this one. She...she’s okay with the scars.”

 

“She loves you Ollie,” Tommy says gently. “Anyone can tell just by looking at her. You would still love her if she had scars.”

 

“Of course I would,” Oliver says. Laurel turns away from them both and tries to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach. Oliver is really moving on from her. He’s here in this apartment with Felicity when he barely had any interest in moving in with her. He’s cooking her breakfast. He’s calling this tiny apartment home. She’s losing him and she didn’t realize just how much she was counting on him coming back.

* * *

 

The brooch is in place and Oliver and Diggle are scanning the room. The police are moving around and Oliver watches McKenna try to blend. She looks too much like a cop to do it well and he knows if the Dodger is here, she’ll be made.

 

He looks up and freezes. Felicity looks amazing in the gold dress. Her hair is down and flowing over her shoulders while her walk screams confidence. She’s too busy looking at her phone to notice people watching her. She’s still an unknown to them and everyone is quickly trying to figure out how this girl got invited and why no one knows her. It’s only when he slips his arm around her waist do the whispers start. Her tracker bracelet glints in the lighting and he is reassured by its presence.

 

“So I’m getting a good signal from the GPS I put in your family’s brooch. I can just track it on my phone. Also have you considered what might happen if this doesn’t work and the Dodger absconds with your family jewels...that came out wrong.”

 

“Trust me I know exactly where my family jewels are,” he whispers. She blushes and then looks down at her phone as Diggle clears his throat awkwardly. They separate moving around the space and looking for anything suspicious. 

 

Oliver is standing in the center of the room scanning when Diggle approaches again.

 

“Maybe I should check out front and see if the security guards have heard anything. I am your bodyguard.”

 

“That’s a good idea. I’ll go check on the bait.”

 

“We have a problem.” They both turn and see Felicity’s scared face. Around her neck is a bomb collar and she’s stepping away from them. “No stay away! If this thing blows!”

 

Oliver and Diggle drag her into a storage room and Diggle starts poking the device looking for a way to open the mechanism. Felicity is panicked and her eyes are darting all over the room. 

 

“Felicity listen to me,” Oliver says firmly. “You are going to be fine.”

 

“I’m going to get decapitated.”

 

“No you’re not. The Dodger has the brooch so I’m going to follow the tracker. You need to stay calm and tell me where to go. Diggle will try and disarm it.”

 

“No pressure,” Diggle says as he bends a pen cap to suit his needs. 

 

Oliver races out onto the street looking for the Dodger. He steals a motorcycle and starts riding, listening as Felicity tries to direct him. He wants to be there with her but this is the way to help her. If he can catch the Dodger then he can make the man disarm the bomb collar.

 

She directs him forward and soon enough he manages to get the Dodger in front of him. The man is clearly injured from the car crash but he tries to stay tough.

 

“I had the foresight to collar up a particularly inquisitive blonde. I assume she’s a friend of yours. Touch one hair on my head and she loses hers.” Oliver throws the flechette and the Dodger looks at him shocked.

 

“Your median nerve has been severed. You couldn’t press that button even if you tried.” Oliver takes the button from Dodger’s hand and presses the button to disarm the collar. He can hear Diggle and Felicity’s gasp and then her saying she’s okay in his ear. It’s enough and he breathes easier.

 

“Why are you doing this? I’m just like you. I only steal from the rich!”

 

“I’m not Robin Hood,” Oliver says as he knocks the Dodger out. He turns looking back and the carnage before crushing the button device under his shoe. He rushes back to the charity event, pushing past journalists and security. He finds her sitting in the storage room alone. 

 

“Dig went to destroy the device,” she says shakily. Her hand is on her throat and she looks worried. “I know I said I understood the risks but I...I didn’t.”

 

“I understand,” he says quietly.

 

“Oh Oliver no!” She stands up and hugs him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant the fact you were standing right next to me and all I could think about was the bomb hurting you and Dig. This is what you feel like all the time? This crazy nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach and the weird shaky feeling? It’s like being drunk without the good stuff.”

 

“I feel like that every time you leave my side. I’m not one of those crazy, possessive guys who want to lock you up to protect you but I know what kind of world is out there Felicity. I’ve lived it. I feel like that always.”

 

“Oliver. I feel like that every time you put the Hood on. What if you don’t come home? By being down there running the comms or here by your side, I feel like I can help keep you safe. I can help make sure you come home each night. I worry you won’t come home and I don’t know what I would do.”

 

“Felicity...”

 

“Let’s go home Oliver. Tonight let’s just go home.”

 

He takes her home. She walks next to him with his suit jacket over her shoulders. She’s tired and he realizes he is too. Maybe it is a good thing they are dealing with this situation so soon into their new partnership. It shows them they can both keep their heads in the game even in life or death situations.

 

They both head straight for the bedroom. Clothes get placed in the hamper and shoes are lined up in the closet. It’s just her standing in front of the mirror, taking the bobby pins out of her hair. Her short robe brushes the side of her legs and he just watches her do what women do in front of the mirror. She wipes make-up off her face and brushes her hair. It’s mesmerizing.

 

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the jewelry box. Moving behind her he slips the box onto the counter and she pauses. She looks over her shoulder at him before back at the box. 

 

“You should open it.”

 

She lifts the small jewelry box from the counter and slips it open. Nestled inside are two perfect pearl-drop earrings. She touches them gently and then turns to look at him.

 

“Oliver? They’re beautiful.” She removes each one, sliding them into her ears and turning to look back at the mirror. “Thank you. I love them.”

 

“I knew when I saw them they were yours,” he says softly, looking in the mirror. “My father used to say that when he bought things for my mother. He couldn’t picture any other woman owning them so he had to buy them. I’m glad you like them.”

 

“Oliver.”

 

He doesn’t say anything. He just kisses her. She steps against him, her body sliding up his as she stands on tiptoe. Her fingers slip against his neck as he lifts her against him until her legs wrap around his hips. The robe falls open under his insistent hands. He takes her to bed and watches, pleased, as they find themselves while her earrings glint in the moonlight. Tonight they made it home and no one got hurt. Tomorrow is another day but for right now they have this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this chapter. I'm not sure why. It rewrote a lot of the scenes. Originally the breakfast scene was supposed to be from Oliver's perspective. The housing discussion was supposed to be about Felicity's insecurities only. Weird stuff.
> 
> Just as a general FYI, Oliver and Felicity are not buying a house right now or anything. They're putting it on the table for future discussions. We all know what happens in May. Right now it's more about them realizing they are committing to this relationship and they are on the path to forever. Oliver is realizing it first. 
> 
> I also feel like Oliver is an "all-in" kind of guy. He wants it all right now. He's the type who once he figures out what he wants he's ready for houses, marriage, kids, etc. So I feel like he's going to be moving really fast when he can while Felicity is going to be a little more hesitant. Plus Oliver understands how fleeting life can be. 
> 
> Also McKenna was included because of her role in the Huntress episode. Otherwise the scene is mostly unnecessary.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Reveal (1.16)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW at a certain point. Just a heads up.

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For 5 years, I was stranded on an island with only one goal--survive. Now I will fulfill my father’s dying wish to use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else. _

 

Guillermo Barrera is just another assassin and when his body falls, Oliver feels nothing. He simply steals the cell phone and leaves to meet up with his team. For the past few days he has been feeling off and he’s not sure why. He is used to this feeling from the island and it usually means something big is coming. Even Felicity has picked up on it. She often shakes him awake from his nightmares before letting him cuddle into her for comfort. 

 

He tosses her the phone upon entering the lair and watches as she messes with it for a moment. Sighing she plugs it in and starts running a decryption program. She doesn’t have time to handle it tonight since they both need to go to Tommy’s birthday celebration. Diggle is standing behind her and for a second Oliver feels irrationally jealous. Diggle’s hand is on Felicity’s lower back and all he wants to do is punch him. 

 

“I love you in a suit,” Felicity says straightening. She pulls away from Diggle and moves to Oliver, rubbing her hand over his scruff. “I like this too.”

 

“Yeah? I thought about shaving it off,” he says running his hands down her sides. 

 

“Don’t you dare,” she says firmly. “John said he’ll call if the decryption goes through so we’re fine for the evening.”

 

They leave together and he gets the greatest pleasure out of watching her walk up the stairs in front of him. She looks amazing in this pink dress. The pearl earrings he gave her dangle from her ears and his tracking bracelet clangs against the metal railing. He’s never considered himself a possessive man. In fact he rarely cared what his dates did at the end of the night. With her, he feels possessive. He feels jealous and insecure. She’s so brilliant and he cannot understand why she chooses to be with him. 

 

In the car they barely talk. He’s still on edge and he still doesn’t know why. In quiet answer she slips her left hand over his thigh. He glances over at her but she’s looking out the window. He reaches down and lays his hand over hers. They stay that way the rest of the drive and he can feel his anxiety draining away.

 

In the hallway outside of Laurel’s apartment he cannot help himself any longer. He sweeps her against the wall and kisses her while allowing his hand to slide around her hip. She makes a pleasured sigh and slips her hands under his suit jacket. In the back of his mind he knows Tommy and Laurel are waiting for them but right now he just wants this.

 

“We need to stop doing this,” she whispers. “We’re late for everything.”

 

“I have five years of this to make up for.”

 

“You didn’t even know me five years ago.”

 

“Trust me, it counts.” He does release her and help her fix her hair. With the gift in hand the two head for the door and Oliver knows this might end poorly tonight. He hasn’t had the chance to talk to Laurel yet about her feelings or the fact she always is a little mean to Felicity. It’s not the type of thing that is easy to call her out on but something that will need to be addressed moving forward.

 

“Happy Birthday!” they both say when Tommy opens the door. Felicity hugs him and Tommy looks to Oliver gratefully. Felicity is smoothing Tommy’s lapel and kissing his cheek. 

 

“Welcome. Oh...this feels like a Chateauneuf de Pape,” Tommy says lifting the gift bag.

 

“It’s going to taste like one too,” Oliver says.

 

Laurel hangs back but moves forward to take the wine bottle and leaves to get glasses. Felicity moves to look at the pictures. She lifts one of them and smiles.

 

“She looks so young here,” she says. “Is this Laurel?”

 

“No...Sara,” Oliver replies. He slips his arms around her as she picks up the next photo. “That was Sara’s canary. It made noise 24/7.”

 

“Mmm…” He rests his chin on her shoulder and he glances to Tommy. Tommy is just watching them with pure longing on his face and Oliver realizes he needs to talk to Tommy too. Tommy needs to know what is really going on with Laurel. 

 

“So Felicity, I hear you are letting this guy move in officially,” Tommy says. “Are you sure? You still have a chance to run far, far away.”

 

“Actually Oliver wants to buy a house,” Felicity explains. “I told him we’d discuss it over the summer.”

 

“I’m not changing my mind,” Oliver says. “I just have to convince this one.”

 

“Wine’s ready…” Laurel says quietly. Felicity brightens at that statement and turns to take one of the glasses. As Oliver and Tommy grab theirs, the tray tips and spills wine down Felicity’s pink dress and she gasps. The glass clatters to the floor but remains intact. “Oh I’m so sorry Felicity.”

 

“It’s fine,” Felicity says laughing. “I probably upset the balance. Where’s your bathroom?”

 

Laurel gestures and Oliver looks down at the glass before back at Laurel. He has the suspicion Laurel did that on purpose but he has no proof. So he turns to go after Felicity. Instead there is a knock on the door and they all freeze. Tommy is not happy to see his father standing there.

 

Awkwardly Oliver and Laurel stand there while Tommy goes into the hall with his father. Oliver glances down at the wine glass again before spinning to go check on Felicity. He pushes into the tiny bathroom and looks at her patting the wine stain.

 

“I’m pretty sure this dress might be ruined. I can try and save it at home but it might be dead. It’s sad because I really like this dress.”

 

“I’ll replace it,” Oliver offers.

 

“Oh...I don’t think they make them anymore. My mother bought it for me when I graduated college. I think the designer went under. It’s okay. It was an accident.”

 

“Mmm…”

 

“Oliver...Laurel didn’t spill wine on me on purpose!”

 

“Sure.” 

 

The night never really gets better. Tommy is withdrawn after his father’s visit and Laurel barely says anything. Felicity tries to carry the conversation but Oliver knows it is a lost cause. He only relaxes when Felicity curls up next to him on the couch and puts on Netflix. She falls asleep halfway through the first episode of some show and he just sits there. His friends are miserable and he’s not really sure if either of them know it.

* * *

 

“This is one paranoid assassin. Barrera's got cobolt-level encryption on his phone. It’s not going to be easy to break but codebreaker is my middle name. Actually it’s Megan…”

 

“Felicity, can you get anything off of it?” Oliver and Diggle are leaning forward staring at the gibberish on the screen. She didn’t have the heart to tell them she couldn’t read that stuff either. It was all just gibberish until she cracked it.

 

“The last number he dialed was a restaurant in Chinatown. Jade Dragon. I guess even hired killers enjoy the city’s best chow mien,” Felicity explained.

 

“That’s a front for the Chinese mafia,” Diggle says.

 

“Call the restaurant and make a reservation for two. I’ll talk Tommy out for his birthday,” Oliver says. He tugs out his phone to text Tommy. “You need to decrypt that phone.”

 

“Aye aye Captain!” She mock salutes him as he leave. “Dig? I kind of want Chinese now…”

 

“I’ll do a run,” he sighs following Oliver out. 

 

Oliver meets Tommy at the Jade Dragon. Oliver tries not to laugh when Tommy orders a fried fish but he keeps it under wrap. He knows that is not what Tommy thought he was getting. The two dig in and just enjoy their company.

 

“I wanted to make sure your birthday was properly celebrated. It seemed a bit tense the other night,” Oliver says.

 

“Well trust my dad to run all the smiles out of the room.”

 

“Well he did come by, and it seemed like he was trying to act a little dad-like.”

 

“Dad-like,” Tommy says bitterly. “That sums him up.”

 

“I know the two of you have never been close. I’m not defending him Tommy, but it couldn’t have been easy for him after your mom was killed.”

 

“You probably don’t remember this because we were eight. After her funeral he left for a few years and when he came back, we barely spoke. I spent so much time at your house and from the outside it looked like I had a father. But it was your Dad who took us to our first R-rated movie and our first hockey game.”

 

“He wasn’t perfect Tommy. We haven’t talked about it but I have a lot of anger towards him. But I would give anything to have him back because he’s my dad.”

 

“I’m really glad you’re back even though I have to compete with your genius girlfriend,” Tommy says. “Geez look at your face. How did this happen to you? Five years ago this kind of thing would have sent you running.”

 

“I think part of it is because she didn’t know me. She has no expectations of me and she sees me for me. She looks at me and I feel like maybe those five years were worth it because without them I wouldn’t have met her or at least, she wouldn’t have liked me.”

 

“I want that,” Tommy admits softly. “I want what you two have so much.”

 

“Have you talked to Laurel?”

 

“I’m afraid to push. Any time I bring up future plans or more commitment she gets spooked.”

 

“Maybe that should you something,” Oliver says. “I have to hit the restroom.”

 

In the back he gets the little information he wants. His Mandarin is a bit rustier than he would like but he gets by. They both leave the restaurant and head towards what will be “Verdant” and pause outside.

 

“Do you think I should go to my father’s thing?” Tommy asks.

 

“I think that’s up to you. He’s your dad and it depends what kind of relationship you want moving forward.”

 

“That island really changed you…”

 

“You have no idea.”

* * *

 

“Are you getting any closer?” Oliver asks, leaning over Felicity. He knows she hasn’t but that doesn’t stop him from asking. She shoots him a glare and goes back to typing. She’s been working on it almost nonstop for days now. Shrugging he heads for his workout area. He moves through the training dummy to target practice to general chin ups. It’s only when he’s moved to the salmon ladder, he notices he has her attention.

 

She’s leaning back in her chair and she’s watching him. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes look glassy. Her hair is falling out of her ponytail and she looks flushed. He goes up and down a few more times, getting good and sweaty before hopping down to the floor. He leaves the bar on the bottom rung and moves to stand in front of him.

 

Her hand reaches out and touches his abs. He holds himself still as she touches his sweat slicked skin. Her fingers ghost over a few of his scars before pressing more insistently. 

 

“I’m sweaty.”

 

“I know. It’s...amazing,” she breathes. “Your muscles…”

 

“Mmm…” He watches pleased as she leaves the computer behind and focuses solely on him. Her eyes are still glazed over as she runs her hands over him. He’s still amazed she finds him attractive with his scars and tattoos but she’s always touching him. She’s told him she usually goes for smaller guys, less muscled but his body makes her weak-in-the-knees. He enjoys the fact she feels slight next to him. He enjoys the fact her eyes darken when she looks at him. He wants to be the only man she looks at like this.

 

“I think you need to take your pants off,” she whispers. 

 

“Not yet.” He slips down to his knees and tugs her chair closer to him. The wheels squeak in the silence. “You should lock the doors.” 

 

As she reaches back to hit the button he starts kissing her thigh, sliding her dress up inch by inch. He hears her mash the button and turn back to him. Lifting her one leg over his shoulder he continues on his slow, agonizing trek up her inner thigh. Her breathing deepens and her fingers clutch at the arm rests.

 

He pauses just long enough to rip the seams of her underwear, tugging the material away from her. Her hips buck as he throws the fabric to the floor, pressing his mouth to her. She jolts and then sighs in pleasure. He lets the skirt of her dress fall over his head and she relaxes against the chair. He loves her like this when she surrenders to what they have. She never lets him get away with anything but when they’re like this, he’s the one in control.

 

He can feel the stiletto against his back but he lets the soft bite press against him. He’s too focused on making her forget about the cell phone and the assassin.His hands hold her down as he takes his fill of her. Only when she finally slumps back in relaxation does he pull back. Her hands are limp against the armrests and her breath is uneven.

 

He takes her distraction and uses the time to strip his pants off. Still clothed, she looks spent and well pleasured. He can’t wait to finish the job. She’s in his arms before she can make a sound and then they’re moving. Her hands clutch at his shoulders as he moves her towards the salmon ladder.

 

“Grasp the bar.” She looks at him sleepily and then complies. He waits until she’s holding the bar before pulling her down on top of him. Her fingers hold the bar but he knows if he pushes her hard enough, she’ll let go. Instead he keeps the rhythm slow and watches as the earlier sleepiness leaves her.

 

Suddenly he feels like he’s fulfilling some weird teenage fantasy with a stereotypical librarian or a school teacher. Her hair is back and her glasses are askew on her nose. Her blue dress is pooled over his hips and he can feel her heels against the backs of his naked legs. She throws her head back and lets him lead and he takes every moment he can to make her feel pleasure.

 

Finally she loses all composure. Her hands drop the bar and she clutches his head instead. He keeps the pace, standing under the bar. She watches him in surprise, expecting him to fall or push her against something.  Finally his legs turn to jelly and they collapse to the floor in a heap. The mat is cold against him but she’s warm all over. 

 

“Did I distract you?” he asks softly.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Good.”

 

After a ridiculously long amount of time Felicity gets up and helps him dress. That takes a lot longer than either of them expect when she gets distracted by kissing him again. They pick up some take-out on the way home and eat in bed, together.

* * *

 

Tommy doesn’t know what to expect at the awards thing. He figures he’ll stand in the audience and applaud as his father accepts an award he doesn’t deserve or care about. He’s gotten good at knowing when his father is being sincere. This is not one of those times. Tommy knows inviting him wasn’t sincere either. It’s all about appearances with Malcolm now.

 

He doesn’t know any of these people and that tires him. He feels more out of touch with the world. Before Oliver got marooned Tommy knew exactly who he was and his role in the world. He knew where he fit. He knew what his “job” was. Now he’s lost. Oliver is moving on and looks so put together. He’s got a serious girlfriend and a new career. He seems stable. Tommy is the one adrift. Cut off from his money he’s dependent on Laurel letting him spend the night and live out of a bag. He’s dependent on Oliver giving him a job. His other friends are nowhere to be found. He’s just here, alone.

 

“Oh Tommy,” Moira Queen says, touching his arm. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

 

“My father asked me to be here and Ollie convinced me to come,” he says. “He’s got a different perspective on fathers than I do.”

 

“Is he here? I haven’t seen Oliver in weeks. He never seems to be at home,” Moira asks sipping her champagne.

 

“He’s probably at Felicity’s. I thought he moved in there,” Tommy says absently. “He’s there all the time.”

 

“Felicity?”

 

“I really like her. She’s not who I would have expected for Ollie to go for but she fits him. A computer genius and Oliver? It’s unexpected.”

 

“You’ve met her?” Moira asks. 

 

“Yeah. I have dinner with them at least once a week. Oliver made this pasta dish the other day and it was better than that Italian restaurant downtown..”

 

“Oliver cooking?” Moira asks. He turns to look at her and sees how stunned she is. She doesn’t know Felicity. She doesn’t seem to know Oliver either. How is that possible?

 

“He hasn’t introduced you two? They’ve been dating for months. I thought after she went shopping with Thea, the two of you would have gotten together…”

 

“Thea’s met her?”

 

“You need to talk to Oliver. He’s kind of worried he’s going to rub it in if he’s so happy with Walter missing.”

 

Moira goes quiet at that and she looks down at her glass. Tommy feels bad for bringing up something so...painful.

 

“Mrs. Queen, I don’t think he’s trying to cut you out. I think he’s just...Oliver’s different now. He’s really protective of Felicity and what they’re building together.”

 

“My son is very secretive,” Moira admits. “What is she like?”

 

“She’s tough, I think. She would have to be to be with Oliver. She’s soft with him. Comforting I guess but he gets away with nothing around her. She makes him smile in a way he hasn’t since he got back…”

 

“Tell me more about her.”

 

“You should ask him about her. He’s...he’s getting really serious. Wedding serious.”

 

“Wedding?!”

 

“He doesn’t have a ring or anything. It’s just I see the way he looks at her and how she looks at him. She...she accepts him for who he is now.”

 

The two grow silent as Malcolm is called to the stage. He knows Moira will go after the information she wants at some point but for now he’s going to focus on his father. He owes him that at least.

* * *

 

The call to Lance does not inspire confidence. Lance refuses to help unless he can deliver a name and Oliver knows it’s not going to be that easy. Felicity has been working nonstop for days and still has not cracked the encryption. Between sleep and work, she only has limited hours to do it. He tries not to push her. He knows she’s already stressed about this particular situation. She thinks it will prove she belongs on the team.

 

“I got it!” she yells. “Does anyone read Spanish?”

 

At their blank stares she sighs and boots up a translation program. Diggle sits next to her while he starts suiting up. He grabs the cell phone to alert Lance when Felicity spins around.

 

“It’s Malcolm Merlyn.”

 

“What?” Oliver asks.

 

“Malcolm Merlyn at the awards ceremony. Oliver! Tommy’s there!”

 

“I’ll call Lance on the way.”

 

He rushes off to reach the awards ceremony in time. When he arrives he knows it has begun. People are running out of the building. Police are swarming. He slips past them and catches Detective Lance’s gaze. Malcolm Merlyn is still inside. He can feel it. 

 

China White has not changed. She is just as formidable as she was a few years ago. Her attacks are practiced but there is little improvisation in them. She moves too robotically. She is used to easy targets and this one is nowhere near easy. It’s only McKenna’s voice that causes him to freeze. China White is not the assassin. She’s the coordinator. He needs to keep moving.

 

He escapes McKenna and pushes forward. Felicity is in his ear warning him of upcoming police or locked doors. The security doors flip to green and he pushes through them. Merlyn would head to his office. Felicity is already explaining the security she’s managed to find out about the building. He hears the gunshots before he can get through the door. Out the window and with the use of an arrow he swings into the broken window in Merlyn’s office.

 

Malcolm is on the ground and he’s bleeding. Tommy is terrified and turns the gun on Oliver. 

 

“Stay back!” Tommy commands.

 

“I’m not here to hurt you or your father.” He steps forward and reaches for the shell casing. It’s covered in curare. “Your father’s been poisoned. An assassin named Floyd Lawton laces his bullets with curare. I’ve dealt with this before. We need to dilute the poison.”

 

“Stay the hell back!”

 

“In three minutes he’s paralyzed. In four minutes, he suffocates. If you don’t let me help you now, he’s dead before anybody gets here.”

 

“How?”

 

“He needs your blood. You’re out of time and you need to make a decision right now.”

 

“Why should I trust you?”

 

Oliver has seconds to make his own decision. He has to hope his identity will be enough to convince Tommy. Malcolm will become paralyzed soon and he’s not sure how effective new blood will be at that point. 

 

“Because you always have.” He slips the hood from his face. Tommy stares at him in shock, mouthing his name. Oliver uses his silence to grab the first aid kit nearby and start rigging up what he needs to give Malcolm, Tommy’s blood. He gets to the point where he needs Tommy’s cooperation but Tommy is still sitting in stunned silence.

 

“You’re the Vigilante...why?”

 

“Later Tommy. He’s still going to need medical attention to fully clean out his system.” He doesn’t wait for a response. He just leaves. He makes his way down the stairwell and catches Detective Lance’s angry look as he jumps out a window. Across the street on another building he pauses. He watches the paramedics through the window. China White has escaped again but Malcolm Merlyn will live.

 

He searches the rooftop and finds the shooter’s perch. Floyd Lawton is alive. That much is certain.

* * *

 

Felicity and Diggle are silent when he arrives. His face must tell them Malcolm is okay because he can’t seem to say the words. Felicity stands to next to him and links her fingers with his.

 

“John. I...the bullets were laced with curare.” Diggle’s face contorts in agony for a second and Felicity steps forward. Oliver keeps her steady. 

 

“Lawton.”

 

“He’s alive John. I’m sorry.” Diggle walks away from them and Felicity looks to Oliver.

 

“This Lawton kick his dog or something?”

 

“No. He killed his brother,” Oliver whispers. Felicity gasps and moves closer to him. She looks after John and waits. 

 

“You should go to the hospital. You need to make sure Tommy doesn’t say anything,” she finally says. “I’ll keep an eye on John and meet you there a little later.”

 

He leaves her standing there watching John and he changes. Felicity will take care of John. She’s good at it. As he climbs the stairs to leave he looks back and sees them hugging. He was unsure about having her down there with them. He was afraid they would bring too much darkness. Instead she grounds them and makes them leave the darkness.

 

He knows her and John spend time together. The two eat lunch together while he’s working on the club and they spend time in the Foundry together. The three of them do things together as well but he likes the two of them becoming friends. Felicity has been so lonely for years and to see her excited about making new friends makes him happy. Plus once Dig’s in your corner, he’s in your corner.

* * *

 

“My dad’s going to be okay, thanks to you,” Tommy says quietly. Oliver stands across from him and watches as Tommy gets angry. “I saw you kill those guys who kidnapped us when you first got back, didn’t I?”

 

“Tommy.”

 

“No one has gotten you to tell them what happened on that island. You just say ‘a lot’ and that doesn’t cut it anymore. Were you ever going to tell me?”

 

“No.” Oliver slumps against the wall as Tommy storms off. He should follow him and make sure Tommy’s okay. He saw it in Tommy’s eyes. They might be done as friends. This might be the end of them.

 

Tommy storms away, turning the corner and pauses. Oliver has been lying to him. He’s been lying to everyone. Tommy looks forward and sees Felicity turning the corner. He can save her some heartache.

 

“Tommy, how is your father?” Felicity asks. She hugs him and steps back waiting for news. “Oliver called me.”

 

“You should break-up with him,” Tommy says softly. “He’s lying to you.”

 

“Tommy what are you talking about?”

 

“Oliver. He’s going to hurt you. He’s lying to everyone!” Tommy says angrily. “He’s hurting people and he’s going to get one of us killed. You need to stay away from him.”

 

“Tommy, you’ve had a shock.”

 

“No! You need to stay away from Oliver. He’s lying to you.”

 

She just looks at him and blinks slowly. Her hand slips from his shoulder and she looks at the ground. She seems to be thinking about how to proceed. She squares her shoulders and looks at him.

 

“Oliver is not lying to me.”

 

“You have no idea what he’s capable of Felicity. He’s dangerous.”

 

“I know exactly what Oliver is capable of.”

 

“Felicity! Listen to me! He’s the Hood!”

 

“Yes,” Felicity says firmly. “I know.”

 

“You knew…” Tommy says. “YOU KNEW?!”

 

“I’ve always known Tommy. He didn’t have to tell me.” Tommy slumps against the wall at that statement. Felicity, the girl who has only been in their lives for six months knew.

 

“How?”

 

“He’s Oliver,” she says simply. “He’s terrible at lying. I’ve seen his scars new and old. He has nightmares. I just knew. I love him Tommy.”

 

“He kills people Felicity.”

 

“I know. He’s trying to save the city Tommy. There are always casualties in a war.”

 

“This isn’t a war Felicity. This a man suffering from PTSD or something! He’s going crazy!”

 

“Oliver is not crazy Tommy.”

 

“How can you love him? How can you love someone like that?”

 

“How can you love someone who is in love with my boyfriend?” Felicity asks. 

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Where’s Laurel? Where is she Tommy? Why isn’t she here right now? You know deep down if Oliver called her...if he called she would be here. You know that. Why are you torturing yourself?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“HEY!” Oliver pushes himself between them. “Don’t talk to her like that! I know you’re angry but you don’t disrespect Felicity because of me.”

 

Tommy straightens his jacket and walks away leaving the two of them standing in the middle of the hospital hallway. Felicity hugs Oliver from behind and he relaxes. Turning in her arms he holds her and tries to find his balance.

 

“He’ll be okay,” she whispers. “How’s his father?”

 

“He’ll live,” Oliver replies.

 

When they exit the hospital they find Dig waiting for them. The three stand there without speaking before heading off together. It’s only when the three slide into a Big Belly Burger booth they all seem feel the exhaustion of the day. They feel like they’ve been through a battle and maybe they have. Oliver and Felicity are pressed together, her head resting on his shoulder and his head leaning against hers. Diggle has his head leaning back against the booth, his arms spread across the back of the booth. Through it all at least they have each other to help carry the load.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been the hardest chapter for me to write so far. It's actually a pretty boring episode other than the end. A lot of the scenes follow Tommy and/or the Flashbacks. I did a little bit of filling in. Otherwise I'm more excited to get past the Huntress episode which is up next *sigh*.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. Found (1.17)

Oliver loves watching her like this. They’re sitting on a blanket on the sand of a nearby beach next to a fire he’s built for them. She’s lounging on the blanket with her tablet and squishing her toes in the sand. Absently she’s munching on the snacks he made and reading an article about his club opening. 

 

“Nature’s not too bad,” she says looking over at him. She’s wearing one of his jackets over her dress and he realizes these were the types of moments he should have with old girlfriends. Instead they usually just fell into bed or went out and partied.

 

She slips her tablet into the basket and rolls to look at him. They’ve been out here for hours and now the sun has set and he’s nowhere near ready to go home yet. He’s surrounded by the sound of the ocean and birds. He feels that sense of calm he rarely feels in the city.

 

“Come here,” he says. She gives him that look, that look that tells him he’s a lucky bastard and she knows it. She slides to him, slipping her arms around his waist and resting between his legs. She rests her head on his chest and holds him. “The club opening is killing me.”

 

“You’re going to be amazing Mr. Queen,” she says. Her voice is muffled against his undershirt until she slides up his body further, nose to nose. “A great success.”

 

“Is that your professional opinion Ms. Smoak?” She looks at him and touches his face gently. Her eyes go serious. He cups her face and just watches her. “Felicity?”

 

“I believe in you,” she says simply. He doesn’t have the chance to reply when she kisses him. Slipping her to the blanket, he slides over her. It’s too public to do anything more than enjoy her this way and enjoy this moment. Her fingers are warm on his neck and her blonde hair spread across the blanket.

 

He’s been pulling her away more and more trying to find moments alone. The city is still falling apart. His family is still somewhat of a mess with him almost never seeing them, although his mother is not making much of an effort. Thea spends time with Felicity once a week and they’ve had her over to their place periodically. Their place. He smiles against Felicity’s neck and thinks about the big changes in the past few weeks. 

 

Officially he’s moved in and receives his mail at her apartment. The majority of his important belongings are in her apartment but a few are in storage. He has barely spoken to his mother since the Unidac merger went through but she knows he’s moved out. He goes to bed every single night with Felicity in his arms and wakes up with her every single morning. It’s new and refreshing and he can’t stop smiling.

 

They’ve picked out some new furniture and she managed to clear him a space in her computer room for his own items. It’s getting cramped in their apartment but she’s unwilling to commit to a bigger place just yet. Well she’s willing to go into a bigger apartment but not a house. He’ll wear her down eventually.

 

“Oliver?”

 

“I believe in you too Felicity,” he whispers against her ear. Her hands slip into his back pockets and she turns her head to kiss the side of his head. 

 

He knows as he stares at her. She’s it for him. She’s the one. He’s going to marry her and hopefully after he saves the city, he’s going to have children with her. He’s never really considered children before other than that one time before the island. It was always an abstract concept to him but sometimes he can’t help but think about it. 

 

They pack it in and head for the car and he takes her to the club. She hasn’t seen it all done up and ready for opening. He takes her in the front door instead of the South alleyway entrance. He walks her around the room, pointing out important places. She’s quiet as she takes it in. She’s not a clubber. He knows that. She’s more of a Sci-Fi Netflix girl followed by or preceded by a techie article. She’s excited for him though. That’s enough.

 

“So you’ll be my date?” he asks. She looks at him and then around the club. 

 

“I suppose you could convince me,” she says. She tugs him over to the bar. “So are the cameras online yet?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Mmm...want to have some fun behind the bar?”

 

“Always.”

* * *

 

Oliver has a bounce in his step. He finds Diggle down in the Foundry but is still thinking about Felicity and her fun with the tequila last night. The hangover is worth it for both of them and he’ll never look at the bar the same way again. Smiling he heads for Diggle and glances at the computer screen. Deadshot. Diggle clicks away from it quickly but it’s not fast enough.

 

“Where have you been?” Diggle asks.

 

“I thought I’d give myself a rare morning in,” Oliver says. “Oh don’t look at me like that. The club is opening, finally and Felicity and I are...well we’re heading towards something. It seemed like a good day to relax.”

 

“Nurse that hangover you mean? Just a tip, the cameras that monitor the entrance down here...they get a good look behind the bar. I don’t know if I can even look at Felicity ever again. She’s really...bendy. Either way I’m more concerned with this girl on this other camera.”

 

“Helena,” Oliver breathes. He knows it is only a matter of time before Helena returns. She’ll come looking for her father or to rain down all kinds of hell.

 

“Yeah that psycho ex or at least she wishes she was an ex. This was taken at Alley Cats, the strip joint. The police report lists the stiff’s name as Gus Sabatoni. That’s Bertinelli’s lawyer,” Diggle says.

 

“Why would she come back to Starling for him? He didn’t even do a good job,” Oliver says watching the footage. “Her father’s serving consecutive life sentences without parole.”

 

“Come on Oliver we both knew it was just a matter of time. You tried to help her and you couldn’t. Now the only question is how long before she tells someone about you?”

 

“Okay, okay,” Oliver thinks. “Okay get in touch with my contacts at the Bratva. Get them to find out what her plan is. If she’s here, it’s for a reason. If it’s not her father then we need to know what it is.”

 

“Okay,” Diggle says. “You should...you should warn Felicity about Helena. She’s dangerous.”

 

“I’m heading to the Manor first then I’ll call her. I want to make sure Thea and my Mom are aware of Helena.”

* * *

 

The Manor seems different to him. It’s no longer home for him anymore and being here is weird. He still keeps missing his mother. He tries to make lunch meetings with her but she’s always out or busy. So he gets his news from Thea and hopes for the best.

 

“Speedy?”

 

“Oh we’re in here!” She calls back. Oliver heads into the parlor and finds Thea sitting with Helena. Freezing in the doorway he starts calculating ways of incapacitating her.

 

“Hello Oliver,” she says softly. “I missed you.”

 

“Ollie, I have this pseudo friend that’s looking for a job. Is the club still hiring?” Thea asks randomly. 

 

“Yes. Why don’t you go call Tommy right now. I’ll see to Helena.” She gets up and heads out hugging him happily.  “Helena? Where have you been?”

 

“Around. I needed to forget who I was and I realized I never really fought for you,” she says seductively. “Think about how powerful we could be together. We could do what you want all over the world together.” Her hands trail down his chest and he reaches up to remove them.

 

“After dealing with your father, you mean?”

 

“Naturally,” she says slipping up next to his ear. “He cut a deal and will enter witness protection tomorrow. I can’t take on the marshals alone. Together we would be unstoppable.”

 

“Not interested Helena,” he says firmly. “It’s murder not justice.”

 

“Oh Oliver!” Moira slips in behind them and Helena takes a step back from him, turning on that Bertinelli charm she’s perfected.

 

“Hi!” she says offering her hand. 

 

“Moira Queen,” she says. “You must be Oliver’s very serious, very secret girlfriend.”

 

“Innocent of that, I’m afraid,” Helena says looking to Oliver. “I’m Helena. I’m just a friend. I wasn’t even aware Oliver was seeing anyone.”

 

“Well my son hasn’t exactly been forthcoming to me either,” Moira says pointedly.

 

“Helena was just leaving,” he says steering her towards the door.

 

“I guess I’ll just have to be more persuasive,” she whispers. “Fortunately you have a family too and apparently a woman you would hate to lose.”

 

Oliver watches her go, tightening his fist absent-mindedly. He needs to warn Felicity. He reaches for his phone and notices he left it at the Foundry. He spins around and his mother is standing there.

 

“You know, I understand you are enjoying your life being back but it’s a shame my housekeeper had to tell me you moved out,” she says angrily. “How very little you care about me…”

 

“When was I supposed to tell you Mom?” he asks. “You refuse to call me back. You’re always conveniently in a meeting. You’re never here according to Thea.”

 

“When am I going to meet this girl that has convinced you away from your family and suddenly has access to the Queen fortune.”

 

“If you’re going to say things like that to her, then never Mom. She means alot to me and I won’t bring her around that. She deserves better.”

 

“I am your mother Oliver.”

 

“And she is the woman I love,” he replies simply. “I won’t let you treat her badly because you don’t understand. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.”

 

“Oliver!”

 

He ignores the call and heads to Diggle and the club. He needs to up security on the people closest to him. Diggle agrees and admits he already has extra security on the three women. Felicity has not been briefed but he has extra security watching her. So far no sightings of Helena.

 

Oliver sighs and turns to face Tommy. Tommy’s been in and out of the club, narrowly missing Oliver every time.  He’s trying hard to avoid him and Oliver’s been letting him.

 

“Tommy? I’m sorry,” Oliver says. Tommy turns to face him and just stares at him. “I kept this a secret to protect the people that are closest to me. I never meant to hurt you.”

 

“Do you think that’s what I care about? You think my feelings are hurt?”

 

“Tommy…”

 

“You’re a murderer. A killer. I don’t know you anymore.”

 

“I can explain to you. I can explain the how and the why…”

 

“I don’t care about any of that. What would be the point? I wouldn’t believe you anyway.”

* * *

 

The club is a success or at least the first night is. Moira and Thea make their way through the throngs of happy, energetic people. Thea is smiling and looking at all the bright lights. It’s not Moira’s scene but she hopes Oliver is happy. The bouncer directs them to the stairs.

 

“Mr. Queen is upstairs,” he offers. The two head up the stairs with Thea bouncing to the music. 

 

Oliver greets them both full of smiles and looking much better than he has since coming home. She had not noticed earlier that day with Helena. Oliver looks good. He came back to her so broken and she meant to be there for him. Instead she has been distracted by her missing husband and running a company. Her boy...her son has had no one to make sure he really makes it home. She hasn’t even tried to treat him like he’s been through a trauma. 

 

The three of them are standing there looking over the successful opening. Oliver is talking with Thea and answers direct questions from Moira. Otherwise he’s distracted. He’s looking over the dance floor but he’s quiet. He’s thinking and so unlike the boy she’d lost. Oliver was almost never pensive. You could read him like a book. He was simple...smart, but simple.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I moved out,” he finally says. He turns to look at her and gives her that odd smile he’d given her in the hospital. “I should have told you about Felicity, Mom.”

 

“I haven’t been around,” she admits. “It’s as much my fault as yours. Oliver we need to talk about this girl you’ve been seeing. You’ve been through a trauma and it is natural to latch onto someone unconnected to that trauma. Oliver…”

 

“Mom, just meet her. Felicity is special and she means alot to me,” he cuts her off.

 

“Oliver, I’m just worried.” Moira watches him as his eyes lock on something over her shoulder. 

 

“Felicity,” he breathes softly. Moira freezes. In front of her it is like a transformation. The tension in Oliver dissipates and he lightens. She steps back in shock when a real smile lights up his face. He brushes past her and moves towards the blonde standing at the top of the steps.

 

“Oliver? Why was Dig following me today?” Felicity asks him. Moira blinks away her confusion for a moment and watches her son cup Felicity’s face and kiss her gently. “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” he replies. “There’s been a security problem and I wanted Dig watching you...just in case.”

 

“I know you’re Mr. Self-Sufficient but I wish you’d let your bodyguard, you know, guard your body. It’s one of my favorite things.”

 

Moira watches them and sees it. This is the son she lost. This is where her little boy went. He found himself in this woman. He’s smiling and confident. He’s relaxed. Here he is and she feels like the outsider. 

 

“I told you it was amazing,” Thea says. “Oliver’s a totally different person with her. She’s really great Mom. She’s good for him.” Thea heads away, hugging Felicity before bouncing down the stairs to dance.

 

Moira watches as Mr. Diggle stops in and the three of them look at ease with each other. Felicity playfully shoves Mr. Diggle’s shoulder and smiles up at the bodyguard while Oliver’s eyes are on her. He pushes hair behind her ear and then Moira sees them. Pearl earrings. She reaches up absently and touches her own pearl earrings. A Queen tradition. She’s wearing the ones Robert gave her right now. He had told her that was when he knew she was the one and now this woman is wearing pearls. Her son is in love and he’s making a point. Felicity is his future.

 

She nearly drops the champagne flute at her realization. She doesn’t even know this woman. Is she like Laurel or is sne of the others? Who is she and what does she want?  Moira watches in horrified fascination as Felicity turns in Oliver’s arms and kisses him again, straightening his lapel. Before Moira can say anything the two head down the steps and separate at the bottom. Felicity goes to talk with Thea while Oliver heads for the bar.

 

Moira stands there and watches after him before clutching at her throat. Her son...she’s lost him and she doesn’t know if she can get him back. He’s already moved out. He’s on his way to engaged. How can she fix this before Oliver makes a huge mistake?

* * *

 

Oliver finds Helena with Tommy and nearly loses it. Helena dares to come into his territory and attack the people under his protection? He nearly lets himself off his leash and takes her down but he cannot bring himself to do that. Instead he decides to help her, hoping it will get her out of his city.

 

She gets a glimpse of Felicity and he can see his reaction to her is startling but she covers well. She leaves and he hopes Helena did not catch the importance of her to him. Felicity is leverage and harder to watch over. Tommy may have been an easy target but he’s not enough leverage for her. The heart is much more dangerous.

 

Of course it is an absolute bust and instead Helena gets captured by the police. Diggle refuses to help him but Oliver rushes to break her out of the police precinct. He can’t risk her giving up his secret and risking the people closest to him. Helena refuses the passport and ticket and he knows it is only a matter of time before she makes her move.

 

He heads home and stands awkwardly in the doorway. Sometimes he still doesn’t know how he can have this. How he is so lucky to come to this. The Manor was home but it was always imposing and cold. Thea made it better but he spent so little time there growing up. He wants to feel more. He wants a real home.

 

“You have grumpy face,” Felicity says. She tugs him to the couch and sits him down, kneeling on the couch and rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I feel like I’m letting everyone down. Between being the Hood and a club owner and a brother and a son and a boyfriend...I feel like I’m failing everyone. I feel like I’m failing you. You believe in me so much and I don’t know why.”

 

“You are being too hard on yourself,” she says softly.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing with you sometimes. I’m not very good at this.”

 

“Oliver you are amazing at this. I didn’t have the most traditional family growing up so this whole falling in love, living together, building a life together thing? It’s crazy for me too. But I do know that when you believe in each other, you find a way to make it work.”

 

“How?”

 

“You find someone that never makes you apologize for being you. They just accept you and sometimes...they make you homemade pizza…”

 

“I see. So it’s my cooking skills you want,” he says. 

 

“Yeah but after.”

 

“After what?” She just smiles at him and brings him in for a kiss. It’s a few hours later and they’re laying in bed when her phone chirps. He has spent some of their time telling her about Helena and catching her up on what she has not been told.

 

“A local sporting goods store just got robbed of one high powered crossbow. Could be your psycho...well you know.”

 

She watches him leave with that news to go and see what clues might be there. She lays in bed a few minutes longer and stretches, smelling his scent. Finally she gets up and gets dressed, throwing his discarded shirt on and a pair of pajama bottoms. She can probably do some tracking of her own to help Oliver and Dig find Helena. They never did get to pizza.

 

“I don’t think we had a chance to be properly introduced earlier,” a voice says. The arrow is pointed at her neck and the woman is staring at her. “I think you could help me.”

 

“Helena…”

 

“Oh...he told you about me. So you’re the girlfriend. A little vanilla for him, don’t you think?”

 

“I may look vanilla but trust me I’m more rocky road.” Felicity smiles when her fist connects with Helena’s face. 

* * *

 

He doesn’t even realize there is anything wrong. He just leaves the sporting goods store and heads home. Diggle will stop by later to give him any updates. Instead he plans to make homemade pizza and spend time with his girl.

 

He sees the door standing open and the grocery bag falls to the floor. He steels himself not knowing what he’s going to see. Inside he sees the room tossed. There was a struggle and there is broken glass everywhere. An arrow is lodged in the wall and he sees a droplet of blood on the floor. 

 

He finds her laying on the floor in the computer room, her body limp. He has her in his arms but other than looking disheveled she’s fine. She has a small cut above her eyebrow and a bruise on her cheek. Otherwise she’s fine.. He cuts her arms and legs free and holds her. He calls Dig while he waits but she’s breathing and should wake up.

 

“Felicity?”

 

“Oliver? Is she...is she gone?”

 

“She’s gone. What happened?”

 

“She wanted the address to the safe house and made me hack the FBI’s database. I’m sorry.”

 

“No,” he says. “No...you fought her?”

 

“Not very well,” she breathes, massaging the back of her head. “I managed to cut her with one of your flechettes but she was too strong. Don’t look so surprised. I watch you and Dig spar every night.”

 

“You did fine,” he whispers. When he hears footsteps on glass he stands quickly bracing for a fight. It’s only Dig. “You’re going to stay with her while I handle Helena.”

 

“Oliver I’m fine,” Felicity says. “Dig should watch your back.”

 

He gets the address from Felicity and leaves her under Diggle’s watchful gaze. She’ll be safe with him. As he is leaving he notices the two heading for dust bins to clean up the broken glass.

* * *

 

Oliver watches as the ambulance loads up McKenna. She should never have been shot. He listens to the doctors discuss her case using one of his listening devices. All he can see is what if it had been Felicity. What if Helena had shot her and he had come home to that? What if it was her with a year of rehab and the potential of never being whole again? 

 

Felicity finds him outside the hospital and hugs him to her. He holds her closely and just thanks whoever is listening up there for her safety. He doesn’t know what he would have done if it had been her laying in a pool of blood.

 

Oliver lets her lead him home. She just leads him to the bedroom and sits him down on the bed. She tugs his shirt off and leans down to tug his shoes and socks off.  She stands and reaches behind herself, tugging down her zipper and pushing her dress to the floor. Clad in only her bra and underwear she slips over him, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around him.

 

“Still feeling sorry for yourself?” she asks softly. 

 

“No,” he admits. “Just thinking.”

 

“About?”

 

“I’d love to say this,” he says fingering her bra strap, “but honestly I was thinking about McKenna.”

 

“I’m fine and she will get better,” she says.

 

“I’m worried something might happen to you or Dig.”

 

“John and I knew what we were doing when we signed on. We understand it is dangerous and something could happen.”

 

“I don’t know how I would get through it if it had been you.”

 

“It wasn’t. I feel this way every night you go out but I push it down because what we’re doing is important and we can’t get distracted by what ifs.”

 

“How’d you get so strong?”

 

“I take my lead from you.”

* * *

 

Felicity loves waking up like this. She sits up and stretches, reaching for her glasses. The bed next to her is cooling but she can hear Oliver making breakfast. Hopping out of bed she grabs one of his shirts and follows the delicious smells. He’s shirtless and flipping pancakes. Growing up she never thought she’d have this or anything like this. She’s used to be abandoned or left alone for hours at a time. Now he’s always here and when he’s not she can still feel him there. 

 

He loves her babbling and he watches Sci-Fi shows with her even though he doesn’t really enjoy them. He respects her working on computers and listens to her explain how things work. He makes sure she eats and gets enough sleep. He keeps her satisfied. Sometimes she wonders what she does for him and then he looks at her and she knows whatever it is, it’s enough.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to introduce you to my mother,” he says. “I meant to but with Helena…”

 

“I get it,” Felicity says. She slips behind him and kisses his dragon tattoo. She feels the tension leave his shoulders. “You’re crazy almost-ex was way more important.”

 

“Enjoy your pancakes,” he says with a smile. “I’m going to take a shower. If you finish in time…”

 

“I’ll come find you,” she says already eating a bite. He makes the best pancakes. She slips up onto the stool and starts eating, reading her tablet. The shower barely makes any noise in the apartment so she knows he’s in there but she can’t actually hear him.  The knock on the door is unexpected.

 

“Oh! Mrs. Queen,” she says opening the door for the woman. She gestures her in and stands there unsure. She’s only wearing Oliver’s shirt and a pair of underwear while the CEO of Queen Consolidated is dressed for battle. 

 

“I would say you have a lovely home,” Mrs. Queen says with distaste, “but it seems you have suffered a break-in?”

 

“Last night. We’re both okay. Mrs. Queen, Oliver’s not available.”

 

“I’m not here for him,” she says. She walks to the counter and pulls out a checkbook. “You have latched onto my son when he is vulnerable. How much to make you leave my son alone and leave Starling?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who caught the very brief posting window for my story “All In” and wondered what happened, well here it is.
> 
>  
> 
> I pulled the story for now. My intention is to rework it, leaving the general gist, but fleshing out the story. I wrote it quickly and with a lot of quick comments, I realized it was not saying what I wanted it to say. So I took it down for now and if I find time I will re-release it. For now my focus will be on “Remarkable” and the other entries in the series.
> 
>  
> 
> I can promise this. This trilogy I’m working on is a romance. That means, by definition, it will have a happy ending. For those worried, I promise we’ll get there. There may be fights or momentary separations **cough** the Climb **cough**. Trust me to get us there.


	18. Team Hood

Moira looks at Felicity expectantly. The girl is standing there in one of her son’s t-shirt and looks like she had a rough night. She has a bandage on her forehead and a bruise on her cheek. She doesn’t look like the girls Moira has paid off before. That doesn’t mean anything. She could be dangerous to Oliver and with Malcolm and the Undertaking, she doesn’t have time to do the research on this particular girl.

 

“How much?” Moira asks. “250,000? Will that do?”

 

“I don’t understand,” Felicity says quietly. “You’re offering me money?”

 

“500,000 then? You will take the money and you will leave Starling and my son.”

 

“You...want me to abandon Oliver? For money?” Felicity asks shocked. “You’re his mother.”

 

“That’s why I’m doing this,” Moira explains. “I am perfectly capable of providing you a reason to leave my son. He’s been through enough and he shouldn’t have to deal with a scheming woman intent on taking advantage.”

 

“I love your son,” Felicity says. “You can’t buy me off.”

 

“2 million then. One now and one when you are settled elsewhere,” Moira offers. “You would be smart to take it.”

 

“I don’t need money to be happy,” Felicity says. “I never needed money.”

 

“And that’s why you let my son pay for your apartment and buy you jewelry? You don’t need money?”

 

“I pay for my apartment,” Felicity says in anger. “I pay. No one else. Oliver bought me earrings once. I think it’s ridiculous people always think a woman can only be happy if a man is giving her diamonds. No one provides for me. I do.”

 

“How noble,” Moira says. 

 

“True love is a partnership,” Felicity continues. “It’s where two people support each other and bolster each other against the storms of life. Love is equal. It’s not equal every second of every day but at the end...it’s equal. I give Oliver something and he gives me something but I’m not sure you would understand what he gives me.”

 

“I think I can guess,” she says cuttingly.

 

“He gives me what I never had,” Felicity says brushing past Moira. She tosses her dish in the sink and breathes deeply. “He gives me a home and he loves me. His money doesn’t matter to me. All I want is him and your money can’t replace that.”

 

“We’ll see,” Moira says. “Five million and that is the best you will get from me.”

 

“That’s enough.”

 

Moira spins and sees Oliver standing there in sweatpants and holding a towel. He’s angry. He’s angrier than she’s ever seen him. For a moment she feels fear at his gaze. There is something cold there and unfamiliar. It’s dangerous.

 

“Oliver?” Felicity’s voice is quiet. “It’s nothing. Let it go.” She moves around Moira and puts her hands on Oliver’s chest. Moira watches Felicity smooth her hands over Oliver’s scars. “She means well in her own way. I’ll go take a shower. Come and find me.”

 

“Always,” he whispers. “How’s your head?”

 

“Fine,” she replies. “Dig is coming by later to change the locks and Thea called earlier looking for you. Don’t forget to call her.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

Oliver’s eyes follow her and he waits until the door closes. His eyes flutter shut at the click before he hardens again, tensing for the argument. 

 

“Oliver you need to understand what I’m trying to do. This woman is not good for you. You need to get some help and deal with what happened to you before trying to settle down.”

 

“You didn’t even bother to get to know her,” Oliver says. He brushes past her and starts running water in the sink, washing the dish Felicity had put in there. 

 

“I know her. She’s using you for your money.”

 

“No...she’s not,” Oliver says. His back is still to her. “The funny thing is everyone keeps telling me I’ve been through this trauma. I’ve suffered something and I should be someone else. Everyone keeps telling me I’m lost and confused and I’ll be me again after enough time.”

 

“Oliver…”

 

“I am me Mom. This is who I am now and the sooner everyone gets over it, the better.”

 

“Oliver you have been through alot and we need to be careful about whom you trust.”

 

“She’s not scared of me,” Oliver replies. “I attacked her one night in the middle of a nightmare and she held me. She doesn’t look away from my scars. She lets me be me. She is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. It’s different with her. She...looks at me and I feel normal. After everything I deserve that right? I should get to be happy...”

 

“Oliver.” He spins to face her and she sees something unexpected. He’s upset. Oliver rarely gets upset. He’s usually so confident and let’s those feelings roll off of him. It was always a smiling kind of day when with Oliver.

 

“All my life everyone has always expected something of me. You and Dad expected me to grow up and run the company...get a wife, have some kids. Laurel wanted me to be the perfect future husband.”

 

“Oliver that’s not…”

 

“Right now you want me to put aside this and get better. You want me to put it all aside and be the old Oliver Queen. You want me to put a suit on and go to work at the company and pick the perfect wife and have kids and live in a cold, empty mansion. You want me to suffocate in your expectations.”

 

“I want what’s best for you Oliver.”

 

“No you want what’s best for you,” Oliver says. “I love her and this is our home. I’m going to marry her Mom and I want kids with her. I want to create a home. She makes me happy and I…I need you to leave. You’re not welcome in our home until you make it right with her.”

 

“Oliver, please.”

 

“You can let yourself out. Felicity was attacked last night in our home and I need to make sure she’s okay. Thank you for asking about all of this by the way.”

 

He leaves her standing there in the kitchen with her checkbook in hand. She turns and watches him close the bedroom door behind him. She turns to leave and gasps in surprise when she hears glass break. Leaning down she lifts the picture frame, turning it in her hands. The man in the picture is almost unrecognizable. Oliver looks happy and untouched by the island. He’s clearly smiling at the person taking the picture. He’s smiling at Felicity. She knows it and somehow that hurts more than anything. He used to smile for her or Thea and now he smiles for this woman instead.

 

Moira sits it back on the counter and looks again at the apartment. She has been distracted by her thoughts of protecting her son and she knows she misstepped. Instead she glances around at the room and can see what Oliver means. The room is filled with homey touches and she can see his things throughout. She sighs and leaves the apartment knowing this is not over and Oliver will make sure she makes it right.

* * *

 

When Oliver goes after John Nickel, he expects to find him. He needs to be punished for the deaths of his tenants. Felicity is okay with Oliver’s planned attack on Nickel and in some ways he finds that off-putting. Felicity does not care for the Hood’s specific brand of violence but today she’s harder, tougher. She seems different and Oliver knows it is the past few days catching up to her.

 

When Nickel is not able to be found, Felicity heads home saying she needs to go to bed. Oliver is concerned by the way her shoulders droop but she orders him to stay behind. She wants him to spar or go out again. Either way she’s making it clear. She doesn’t want him to come home yet. She needs some time alone.

 

“Let’s go to dinner,” Diggle finally says. Oliver considers fighting him on it but decides to just go with it. He needs some time before he goes home and talks to Felicity about what is bothering her. He needs time to figure out what is bothering him although he suspects it is his mother.

 

They sit down at Big Belly Burger again and Oliver wonders if he should just permanently reserve the space. Between the three of them, someone always seems to be eating there. Last week he stumbled in on Dig and Felicity sharing a friendly lunch together. 

 

“Hungrier than I thought,” Oliver finally says when they get their food. “Are you going to let me eat first or should I just get ready for the lecture?”

 

“What’s going on between you and Felicity?”

 

“My mother tried to pay her off,” Oliver says. “It’s a Moira Queen tradition.”

 

“...I don’t even know what to say to that,” Diggle admits. 

 

“In our home Dig. She came into our home, knowing I moved in there and tried to pay her off. She didn’t even check to see if I was in the apartment.”

 

“Oliver, I know you don’t want to think this about your mother but do you think maybe she was hoping you were there and would overhear it?”

 

Oliver doesn’t respond to that. He just eats and thinks about it. Diggle sighs and then leans back.

 

“Look man, I can’t even begin to imagine what you would be like without Felicity. For the few months before you two got together you were...harsh. You were isolated and you were rough. She’s smoothed down your edges a little bit and you’ve been better out there. Regardless of what’s going on, you need to hold onto that.  I’m worried you’ll let her go too easily and then you’ll lose that drive that makes you a better man. You are stronger with her you know?”

 

“Yeah I know. I’m not really sure what she sees in me,” Oliver admits. “I mean look at her and then...me.”

 

“It’s funny because I had this exact conversation with her last week,” Diggle says. “You two are the most insecure people I’ve ever met who are completely perfect for each other. Get your acts together. Most people would give up anything to have a relationship like the two of you.”

 

Oliver never gets the chance to say anything to that statement. Instead he and Diggle are distracted by the ringing and pinging of every cell phone around them. Felicity gets in touch and him and Dig watch Nickel die. Oliver and Diggle part ways and Oliver heads home. He needs to see Felicity and he knows she’ll be hard at work on locating the man who killed Nickel.

 

He finds her sitting at her computer typing away. Her hands are shaking and finally when she swears at a miskeyed entry, he interrupts her. Spinning her around in her desk chair he just hugs her to him. She takes these things much harder than he does. She’s still new at all of this and he wants to protect her from this. He doesn’t want her to be corrupted by the darkness and evil in his life.

 

She looks at him with determined eyes. She wants to get this guy. Forgotten are their issues with his mother or other things they’ve been dealing with. They need to get this guy and stop him from hurting other people. 

 

“You’re nothing like him,” Felicity says when she turns back to her computer screen. “Don’t even think that.”

 

“It’s hard not to see the similarities.”

 

“You are a surgeon. You are about precision and minimizing the risk. This guy just threw a bomb at corruption. He doesn’t care who he hurts. We need to get him.”

 

He doesn’t say anything but moves forward to massage her shoulders gently as she works. She knows he struggles with doing what is necessary to protect the city. He always struggles with killing or harming even when he knows he needs to do so. He can feel that darkness inside swirling, ready to infect others. She always knows when the darkness is getting to be too much. 

 

Together they work well into the night trying to locate any information on the man in the video. Hitting wall after wall, they can only hope another video will lead them to him. Instead the two fall into bed and try to forget a man is out there taking it upon himself to publicly execute criminals. Sleep doesn’t come easy for either of them.

* * *

 

Laurel knows her parents need to take a break from their ridiculous plan to find Sara. She knows Sara’s gone and she had hoped her father would explain some things to her mother. Instead her mother roped him in. It’s irritating and problematic. So she decides to distract them. They’ll go to lunch.

 

Inside Big Belly Burger, she freezes. Her parents nearly crash into her but she can’t help it. Sitting at one of the booths is Oliver and Felicity and he’s kissing her. Nearby is Oliver’s bodyguard chatting with the waitress. Her parents slip around her and notice the show as well.

 

The bodyguard, whose name escapes her, drops three drinks on the table and slides across from the couple. Quickly the three are laughing and joking around while they wait for their food. The waitress comes over to seat them and ends up putting them almost next to Oliver, Felicity, and the other guy. 

 

“Oliver actually tricked you into meeting with a realtor? Didn’t you go to MIT?” the bodyguard asks. 

 

“Don’t remind me,” Felicity says. “At least he didn’t buy the house.”

 

“I wouldn’t buy a house without talking to you. I didn’t even like the house,” Oliver explains. “I just want to start looking and you are being stubborn.”

 

“I’m being realistic!” Felicity says. “We’ve only been together four months!”

 

“Six.”

 

“Oliver how are you getting six months? December, January, February, March...that’s four.”

 

“October through now,” Oliver explains. “We’ve technically been together since I got back.”

 

“That’s...not technically true but I get your point.”

 

“You two are adorable,” the bodyguard responds. “It’s almost sickening.”

 

“Is it a crime to want to settle down with someone you love?” Oliver asks. 

 

The Lance’s are distracted by the waitress and they all miss the response. By the time they have an unobstructed view, Oliver and the bodyguard have vanished. It’s just Felicity sitting there playing with her drink straw. She’s smiling and stealing fries off what looks to be Oliver’s plate.

 

“So Queen has a new girlfriend,” her father grumbles.

 

“Yeah...Felicity,” Laurel offers. “She works at Queen Consolidated in the I.T. department.”

 

“Computers? That sounds too complicated for a Queen.”

 

“Actually Oliver’s really smart,” Felicity says turning to look at them. Laurel can’t help the jealousy that rolls through her. “He’s brilliant but in different ways. He can run circles around me when it is not tech related. Oh are you Laurel’s parents? Wait I remember you! You were the cop who was questioning Oliver right after he got back.”

 

The introductions go around and Laurel desperately wants to stop talking to her. She doesn’t want to see Oliver and Felicity together. She just wants to eat her burger and take her parents home. She doesn’t need this right now.

 

“So you and Oliver are looking for a house?” Dinah asks quietly. 

 

“Oh...well Oliver wants to buy a house. I’m okay with a larger apartment because once he moved in, it has been cramped. Plus he’s huge and needs more space. He’s trying to talk me into it.”

 

“Unsuccessfully,” Oliver says upon his return. He greets Laurel’s parents and her before pulling out his wallet. Laying the money on the table he reaches for Felicity’s hand. “Feel better?”

 

“I told you you didn’t need to cheer me up,” she says. “Where’s John?”

 

“Getting the car,” Oliver responds. He kisses her forehead when she stands. “Cheering you up is part of my job.”

 

“It was nice meeting you,” Felicity says to Laurel and her parents. Oliver waves and calls out a goodbye to the waitress. Laurel watches them leave, arm-in-arm and smiling. 

 

“Oliver is so different,” Dinah offers. “He looks like he’s grown up. It’s serious between the two of them.”

 

“He’ll just hurt her like he does the rest,” Lance comments bitterly.

 

“No. He...he’s different,” Dinah responds looking after them. “He seems happy. Maybe everyone can move on and get some closure. We can find Sara and...everyone can move on.”

 

Laurel looks after them too and then looks down at her hands. She knows Oliver and Felicity have been getting more and more serious. He moved in with her and they’re talking houses. That is supposed to be her. It is supposed to be them. Instead he’s having it with her.

* * *

 

“This guy is good,” Felicity says. The two guys are sitting behind her, watching as she works. She keeps trying to get through to pinpoint the man who abducted Nickel. Felicity is tense as she works, snapping at Oliver when he makes a tech suggestion. He shrugs it off. She’s been tightly wound for a few days now. They’ll deal with that once they deal with this.

 

Diggle has been on the phone with one of his contacts from the NSA. The information is not particularly useful. All it tells them is something happened to this guy a year ago but it’s not enough. They need much more.

 

The feed goes live while they are strategizing their next move. The man now has the D.A. and taunts him with his failure to protect the people of the city. As the Savior talks, Felicity is able to I.D. him through various clues. Joseph Falk, a transit officer, is behind all of this. Felicity is stressed as she tries to get a lock on Joseph Falk’s position.

 

“You’re fine Felicity,” Oliver soothes. “You can do this.” 

 

She doesn’t react as she types but he rests his hand on her neck. Diggle watches the two of them and moves over to get some of the weaponry together. They have less than ten minutes but maybe something they have can be useful.

 

Oliver takes off the second Felicity has the location. Forgoing all weaponry and his costume, he rushes off. Felicity and Diggle work to figure out where they are exactly but Oliver can’t find him. Rushing through the abandoned building, he knows the space doesn’t match. He checks every door but still can’t find him. Time is running out and he doesn’t know what do it.

 

Oliver rushes to the next location, hopping roofs and spinning down fire escapes. He still can’t figure out where to go. The buildings don’t match and when he gets to the location he finds an empty field. Oliver knows he’s yelling at her but he can’t stop. 

 

Oliver is angry at himself, angry at Carnahan, angry at the world. He shouldn’t have failed. He should have gotten there in time. They should have stopped him.

* * *

 

When Oliver walks down the steps to the Foundry he knows something is wrong. He finds Felicity standing in front of his arrows, holding one of his sharper ones in her hands.  She’s been crying and he hates that. He stands in front of her and gently takes the arrow from her.

 

“Where’s Dig?” he asks softly.

 

“I asked him to leave...in my loud voice.”

 

“This wasn’t your fault Felicity. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

 

“I was the one who was supposed to find him and I was the one who sent you to the wrong location,” she says tearing up again. “I’ve never seen anybody die Oliver.”

 

He tugs her into his arms and rubs her back. He remembers the first time he saw someone who was depending on him die. He remembers every second of it and no matter what Felicity will always remember this moment. All he can do is be there for her.

 

“This is the thing with what we do. Sometimes we lose.”

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” she whispers. “If we weren’t together and I was seeing someone else...I don’t know how I’d tell him about today.”

 

“You can always tell me anything Felicity. You are never alone,” he says gently. “No matter what happens between us or to us, I am always here for you.”

 

“I feel the same way,” she offers. She pulls back from him for a moment and just watches him. “You can tell me anything and you are never alone either. Okay? I know you sometimes think you are alone but you are not.”

 

“I know.”

 

It’s been hard for them the past few days. He leads her out of the Foundry, unwilling to let either of them wallow. Instead he takes her to the park and buys her an ice cream cone. Together they sit by one of the fountains and just relax. Sometimes they need this more than anything. Sitting there in silence sometimes brings them greater solace than talking. 

 

Neither say a word when Dig sits down next to Felicity. The three just sit there and mourn the loss of someone they didn’t even know. He didn’t deserve to die like that regardless of who he was. 

 

Felicity doesn’t even realize when both John and Oliver slip their arms around her cementing the three of them together. She knows it’s strange, the three of them. They never should have found each other but somehow they have. Somehow this one moment brings them together more than anything before it. They’re a team. They’re the team. 

 

With that knowledge something changes for her. She has been insecure about her relationship with Oliver until now. She always thought they would drift or he would get bored. She has thought she would lose sight of herself or something terrible would happen. Instead she suddenly knows. This is it for her. Oliver is the one and this mission they have will make them stronger. She finally has the friends she has always wanted and the acceptance she craves. Somehow in a billionaire playboy and a soldier she finds exactly what she has always wanted.

 

Taking both of their arms she drags them to their feet. They have work to do and they don’t have time to wallow. They need to stop this guy before he kills again. Between the three of them, they can do it. They might lose sometimes but they can still make a difference.

 

“Come on Team Hood,” she demands.

 

“We’re not calling ourselves that,” Oliver grumbles.

* * *

 

Oliver has never seen Thea this broken up. The newest person to get kidnapped is her friend or someone more. He’s not sure but either way he knows he can’t lose this one. They have to save this kid. Felicity and Diggle are already hard at work, struggling to figure out where Roy Harper is being held.

 

Diggle keeps listening to the noise and figures out it’s a subway car. Together the three map out where the Savior is headed. Oliver suits up and heads out. Felicity runs the comms and Diggle takes off to help intercept the subway car. They won’t lose this one.

 

Felicity and Diggle watch helplessly as Roy Harper begs to die. He has given up and admits he’s nothing and no one will miss him. Felicity glances at the upstairs cameras and sees Tommy comforting Thea. Shaking her head and refocusing she tries to find other ways to help Oliver. She tries to figure out if she can stop the train but the subways lines are older. She can’t hack in.

 

She listens to the conversation as Oliver tries to talk down Joseph. She hears it, the arrow striking flesh and bone. She’s heard it so many times since she started working with Oliver and Diggle. Someone died tonight by Oliver’s hand. Her heart thuds because she knows this will hurt him. Every single death causes Oliver immense pain even when he pretends it doesn’t.

 

Roy Harper is safe and sound according to the police files. Felicity waits quietly for Oliver to return, knowing Diggle will handle any clean-up in the subway. It’s Oliver who will need her. She straightens her work place and considers the loss of Joseph Falk. It’s hard to reconcile what they do with what the world tells them is right and wrong. A man died tonight because of Oliver. At the same time that man killed two other people and would have killed a third. What is right here? Are they any different than Joseph Falk?

 

She turns around when Oliver enters the Foundry. He’s tired and she can see it in the way he holds himself. Already he’s torturing himself over the death of Joseph Falk. He’s already running over the situation in his mind trying to find ways he could have prevented it. It’s a typical human endeavor but she worries nonetheless.

 

She hugs him to her and just stands there with him. He’s still in costume, his face smeared with grease. His quiver is still on his back and his bow is still in hand. Sometimes it’s easy to separate these two halves of him. So many people just see the Hood. They don’t see the man under it. She does. She always does.

* * *

 

Oliver watches as Thea and her friend Roy embrace. He can feel Tommy nearby watching it unfold as well. The soft touch on his back has the tension leaking out of him. Felicity slides next to him and puts her arm around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder. He slid her closer and just watched the sea of bodies move on the dance floor. 

 

“So how was your day?” she asks. He smiles and rests his head against hers. This is his favorite part of the day. It’s something he missed every day while he was away. She always asks. Every day she asks him about his day even when they’ve spent the whole day together. He likes listening to her tell him about her day even if he’s spent all day with her. It’s something so normal that many people take for granted. He never takes any of it for granted.

 

“It was pretty normal,” he replies. “How about yours?”

 

“It was really boring,” she says softly. “There were no explosions or anything. Did I mention the whole Queen Consolidated thing? I actually had three different computers today that had some type of unidentified liquid poured on them. I’m this close to petitioning upper management to either ban beverages near computers or require sippy cups.”

 

“You need to get out of the IT department,” Oliver says. “I could make a call…”

 

“No. I’m doing this on my own or at least under my own merit,” she says firmly. “No calls.”

 

“Okay, okay.”

 

“I want to admit something,” she begins, “Today has been a terrible day and I may have wanted to feel better so I may have used your laptop to look at houses. MAY!”

 

“I’m wearing you down?”

 

“Just a tiny bit.” She holds her pointer finger and thumb in a pinch in front of his face. “Just a little.”

 

“I’ll take it,” he says. 

 

“I’m still not sure we’re ready for that but it’s okay to look ahead,” she replies. She snuggles closer to him and just watches the sea of people.

 

For tonight he lets go of the Undertaking, the Savior, and all the other issues they are facing. He leaves his mother behind and her not accepting Felicity. Tonight he just wants to think about his future with the woman beside him. Tonight he wants to dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life. Real life got in the way of this update. All kinds of stuff popped up. I'm hoping to get Ch 19 out by next weekend but we'll see. Work is crazy right now.
> 
> I'm actually really excited about chapter 19 because I do not remember the episode...pretty much at all. So it's fun times ahead for me. For the record, I know they find out about the Undertaking/Subway map in this episode. It may addressed later or we'll just assume it happened "off page". 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	19. Break (1.19)

 

Felicity can’t help but be pleased by the sight in front of her. Oliver and Tommy are talking again and they seem to be getting along. They’re laughing and joking and she can’t help but pause at the top of the steps and watch them. Tommy’s anger has been weighing on Oliver and even though his focus is on her, her focus is on him.  Between the two of them someone is always being worried about.

 

It’s Oliver who sees her first and gestures her over to him. She smiles and heads over unsure of her welcome with Tommy. Tommy takes her hand and apologizes. He tries to laugh off what they argued about before but she knows it’s somewhat empty. Something between Oliver and Tommy is broken and even now she’s not sure it can be repaired. They have a lot of history but maybe they’ve grown too far apart. 

 

She sits down next to Oliver and watches him joke with Tommy. She’s never really had that and it bothers her suddenly. She never really wanted friends or felt she needed them. She was always on a path to get out of Vegas, help people, and be stable. Now she’s out of Vegas, stable, and helping people and she wonders what is next. 

 

“Are you okay?” Oliver asks seriously, turning from Tommy. “You have that crinkly thing happening right here.” He smoothes his finger between her eyebrows and she smiles at him. He always knows when to do that.

 

“Thinking about friendship,” she admits. “I’ve never really had that.”

 

“You do now,” he says gently. 

 

“Yeah but we’re...it’s not what I mean,” she says.

 

“I didn’t mean me. I meant Dig.” 

 

“Dig?”

 

“What do you think the two of you have? You two have lunch together and do things together. You two talk all the time about your day and you give each other advice. That sounds like friendship to me.”

 

“I...you’re right.”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised. I’m good for a few things.”

 

Oliver turns back to Tommy and Felicity snuggles in closer to Oliver. It’s been a long day and right now she can relax. Even through the pumping music she lets her eyes drift shut. Oliver is always there holding her up and even in the haze of her tired mind she can feel his arm keeping her against him and safe.

Oliver feels Felicity drift into the quiet space between awake and asleep. Things have been weighing on her recently. He loves her babbling at home but recently she hasn’t been doing that. She’s been quiet and subdued. He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that she’s not being herself. He worries.

 

He’s brought a lot of turmoil into her life and he can’t help but worry about the toll it is taking on her. She’s strong...stronger than him sometimes but it’s still a lot to ask of her. Within seven months she’s entered a serious relationship, been rejected by his mother, lost a boss, joined a vigilante crew, seen people die, and gained friends. It’s been a lot of change for her in a short amount of time. Maybe he’s pushing too hard.

 

“How is she doing?” Tommy asks. 

 

“Okay,” Oliver replies. He doesn’t want to say too much when Felicity might still be awake.

 

“I heard about what happened between her and your mom,” Tommy says. “Thea told me. I guess Felicity confided in her.”

 

“Felicity doesn’t really talk about it. I think she’s trying to put it behind her for now. Mom knows where I stand.”

 

“Do you think the fact you hid Felicity from her might have something to do with her over the top reaction? You lied to her for months.”

 

“She never once asked me where I was or what I was doing once Walter disappeared. I never lied to her. I just never spent hours tracking her down to tell her I have a girlfriend.”

 

“Tell yourself whatever makes you feel better,” Tommy says before getting up and walking away. Oliver sighs. They had been making progress he thought but apparently not. It hurts their friendship has been somewhat broken. He’s not sure if he’ll ever manage to fix it. He’s not really sure if he can. He’s changed so much since he came back. He’s a different person.

 

“Shh...loud thinking,” Felicity says sleepily. “Long day.”

 

“I’ve got you,” he says. “Do you want to go to the Foundry and sleep?”

 

“Let’s go to your office instead,” she says quietly. “You can still pretend you’re working.”

 

“I am working.”

 

“Uh huh.” 

 

He likes having her in his space. For some reason it bothers him, he moved into to her space. He knows it is semantics and it is their space. Either way he likes it when she’s in his space, when he can look up from his desk and see her. That’s why he loves having her in the Foundry. He looks up and he can see her. She makes him feel calmer and hopeful. It’s one of the only good things in his life and he’s eager to hold onto it.

 

Felicity slumps onto the couch he has in the office and slips her shoes off. She’s exhausted and he knows it is mostly his fault. They were out tracking down leads on the Undertaking after they discovered the symbol in his father’s book was the subway map in the Glades. She’s been getting only a few hours of sleep each night as she looks for connections and clues related to the Dark Archer and the subway system and the Undertaking. This mission is taking it’s toll on her.

 

He waits for a while until her breathing slows and then he slips over to her, covering her with his jacket. Sometimes he just watches her sleep and he knows she would find it creepy. He can’t help himself. He’s loved before. He loves now. Family and friends. People long gone. He knows those feelings. He’s never felt this before. He’s never felt so overwhelmed by love. 

 

He knows he changed on the island. He knows he changed in Hong Kong and in Russia. He knows the Oliver Queen who left no longer exists. He had expected all aspects of that life to be over. Oliver Queen is the mask. The Hood is him now. Except Felicity came into his life. She fights for Oliver Queen. She makes him want it again. She makes him want to put down the hood, get a job, get married, have babies. She makes him want Oliver Queen to be the person he is.

 

He’s asked her about it, about his two halves. She always seems confused by the conversation. She looks at him and sees one person, not two. She looks at him and accepts him. She accepts the light and the dark and helps him find a balance. He didn’t know he could feel the way she makes him feel.

 

He’s sitting there, watching her when the knock on the door comes. Spinning he sees his mother in the doorway. Glancing back to Felicity and seeing her sleeping, he rises. It was not something he wants to deal with tonight. He stands up and adjusts his jacket over Felicity’s shoulders before leaving the office and closing the door behind him.

 

“Mom,” he says. “Can I help you with something?”

 

“Oliver please let’s talk about this,” she begins.

 

“Have you fixed it with Felicity?” he asks. “Have you tried to get to know her.”

 

“No.”

 

“Then there is nothing to talk about Mom.”

 

“Oliver please. I’m worried about Thea.”

 

“What about her?” It’s probably the only thing that will keep Oliver talking to her. He’ll do anything for his sister. 

 

“She’s been spending a lot of time in the Glades...at night. I’m worried,” she says. “She’s on probation!”

 

“Thea made a new friend and she spends a lot of time here with Felicity,” Oliver sighs. “She’s been coming down here for weeks and you are just now noticing?”

 

“I’m the CEO of a company Oliver. I’m barely home at all.”

 

“Maybe that’s why Thea is spending so much time in the Glades then,” Oliver replies. “You’re down here because you’re lonely. It has nothing to do with our well being. You’re lonely in that big house and after months you expect us to be waiting for you. Well we’re here Mom. We’re right here. You’re making the decision we have to do this on your terms. Well that’s not going to happen right now.”

 

“Why are you so angry right now Oliver?” 

 

“The fact that you are even asking that shows you haven’t been paying attention,” Oliver says. “I came home angry. I struggle with that every single day. You want company Mom? Then you need to figure out how to fix things with both of us. You can start by meeting Thea’s friend or trying to get to know Felicity. We’re not chasing after you Mom. You accused me of shutting you out when I came home but you’ve been shutting both of us out for months.”

 

He leaves her standing in the hallway. He pulls the door to his office shut and walks over to Felicity. Picking her up, he slides onto the couch, helping her settle against him. He’s tired and he’ll take these few minutes to relax and let the anger fall away. He only opens one eye when Diggle enters the room, slumping down in an arm chair. The three of them are together and rest comes easy for all of them.

* * *

 

Tommy bursts in on them followed by Detective Lance. Both Diggle and Oliver react protectively placing themselves in front of Felicity. At the realization there is no threat, the two remain standing but relax. Oliver can feel Felicity’s hand on his lower back as she boosts herself up next to him. Even in relaxation she is firmly between Oliver and Diggle, protected and ready to be defended. It’s an interesting place to be.

 

“Can I help you detective?” Oliver asks.

 

“A girl just got mowed down a couple blocks from here...on Starling bridge. Ring any bells?”

 

“Should it detective?” Oliver asks.

 

“She was in your club tonight.”

 

“A lot of people were,” Tommy remarks. “You think someone killed her?”

 

“Not someone. Something,” Lance sneers. “Vertigo. You got a problem with that in this club?”

 

“Not that I’m aware of,” Oliver replies. “We don’t allow drugs in here Detective.”

 

“Well control your clientele before anyone else wanders into traffic!” Lance storms out and the room goes silent.

 

“Could she have scored the drugs in here Tommy?” Oliver asks quietly.

 

“I try not to hire too many drug dealers,” Tommy bites back.

 

“I can cross reference your employee list,” Felicity offers. Tommy barely spares her a glance before storming off. “Well he’s a bit irritated.”

 

“Mmm…” Oliver says, wrapping an arm around her. “I’ll need to go investigate the Count. Dig can take you home?”

 

“Don’t be too late okay? See you at home,” she says kissing him gently. “Dig? Can we stop for Chinese?”

 

“Where do you put the food?” Dig asks as he escorts her into the hall. “You’re tiny.”

 

“Oliver helps keep me fit,” she says laughing at Dig’s discomfort.

 

Oliver rushes to the basement, ignoring Tommy’s glare from the bar. He suits up and slips the tracker into his boot. He knows Felicity will be keeping tabs on him from their apartment. He wishes she would just get into bed and sleep but she won’t while he’s out in the city. Instead she’ll be in her computer room, monitoring his tracker and aiding him in any way she can. Sure enough three lights change from red to green the instant he gets within range, allowing him to not slow down.

 

The Count is a mess, crazy and drooling all over his room. He’s clearly terrified of the Hood and he screeches things at the top of his lungs. Oliver stands outside the window and listens as Detective Lance questions the crazy count. It’s a dead end. Someone is distributing Vertigo and it’s not the count. 

 

He finds her in her chair, cross referencing the employees at Verdant. Her shoulders are strong and even under the incredible weight of trying to protect this city. They are warrior shoulders. He slips his fingers under the dress and leans down to kiss her cheek gently.

 

“I’m trying to get through this,” she says with a bit of reproach. “I have all day meetings tomorrow. I won’t have time to help you.”

 

“I can run them tomorrow,” he says. “You just do it faster.”

 

“Well yes but...mmm,” she says when he catches her mouth with his. He lifts her in his arms and carries her away, smiling against her mouth when he hears her shoes thud to the floor. Her fingers are fitfully unbuttoning his shirt as he pauses against the hallway wall. Her nails rake down his chest. Her eyes meet his and he kisses her again and again until her eyes drift shut once more. Her legs are tight around his waist and he can feel the heel of each foot against the back of his thighs.

 

On the island he had wondered what could distract him from the darkness, the pain and somehow he’s found it here. She knows when things are difficult for him he seeks solace. He has asked her how she feels about it. She looked at him and simply replied she gets the same from him. 

 

“Where?” he murmurs against her. “Where tonight?”

 

“Oh…” she breathes in surprise. “I...you choose.”

 

Smiling, he takes her on the kitchen counter. The day’s mail flutters to the floor in their fevered movements. He enjoys the way she holds his gaze during these intimate moments. He’s never met a woman to hold him as an equal, a partner. 

 

“What will we do when we run out of places,” she asks shakily. “We’re running out…”

 

“We’ll buy a house,” he says. She laughs then and he snuggles her closer as they lay on the kitchen floor. “When we run out there, I’ll buy a vacation house. We’ll go on vacation. I don’t see us getting bored any time soon.”

 

“The Count?”

 

“Crazy,” he replies. “I’m at a loss.”

 

“We’ll get him,” she says. “I’m worried about John.”

 

“John?”

 

“Deadshot Oliver. He’s getting a little obsessed and I think we need to start focusing on that case once we get the vertigo thing handled.”

 

“He’s had you researching.”

 

“Yes. He’s reaching out to army contacts and the government. I’ve been tracking him,” she admits. “I’m worried.”

 

“Okay,” he says. “After the Count…”

* * *

 

Diggle successfully buys vertigo and the three look over the combination after the Count’s escape from the institution. It’s more refined and slightly ‘improved’ from the previous version. Diggle leaves and Felicity casually mentions he’s meeting with a Lyla Michaels. Oliver pauses and remembers the name. A.R.G.U.S. He pushes the information aside. He doesn’t have time for it. Not now.

 

The aquarium attack is unsurprising but Oliver rushes off to stop the man high on Vertigo. He knows the man was either a willing addict or an unwilling patsy. Either way he’ll do what he can to save the man. He fails and in that moment he feels the anger rushing through him. John should have been there but instead...instead he’s off chasing a ghost.

 

Oliver comes back to the Foundry and finds Felicity drinking a glass of red wine while Tommy sits and works on the books. Neither are talking. Oliver slips his arms around her and she leans back. She offers him the glass and he takes a sip. 

 

“So I’m sitting in our favorite Sushi restaurant, a bottle of sake, and the only thing that’s missing is my boyfriend,” a voice says. Oliver and Felicity swivel to see Laurel standing there. Tommy jumps up and comes around the bar offering apologies.

 

“Laurel I have a lot going on,” he says.

 

“Will you just tell me what’s going on?” she asks him.

 

“Maybe we should leave the room,” Felicity whispers.

 

“Oh Ollie?” Laurel says. “I...and Felicity.”

 

“Hey Laurel,” Felicity offers. “We just enjoying a glass of wine.”

 

Oliver doesn’t like the way Laurel looks at Felicity. He doesn’t like the way her eyes flash or the anger he sees there. Felicity has done absolutely nothing to her and it’s getting tiresome. Felicity doesn’t even react. She just leans back against Oliver and tugs her phone out of her pocket. She starts running casual searches on Vertigo and reads through some police files, pausing on relevant passages for Oliver.

 

“Mr. Merlyn, as requested, a search warrant,” Detective Lance says upon entering the club. He’s followed by a small army of cops and looks happy. Oliver and Felicity stand watching him warily. Laurel grabs the warrant and mentions its validity.

 

“What do you want?” Oliver asks.

 

“Mr. Merlyn has been selling Vertigo out of this club and most likely out of an unlisted sub-level. It’s on the original plans and I intend to have a look. Open the door Mr. Queen.”

 

Oliver and Felicity follow him to the door that leads to their space. Oliver tries to refuse to open it but with Laurel pushing him on the validity, he does. The basement is filled with boxes and club overflow. Felicity watches the surprise dawn on Oliver’s face. Felicity pushes an arrow behind a box covertly and meets Tommy’s eyes. A little subterfuge…

 

Lance storms off and Felicity watches as Oliver and Tommy follow him. Laurel is left standing there next to Felicity and sighs. Laurel watches as Felicity absently fixes her hair and walks over to pick up a jacket. Laurel recognizes it as Oliver’s. Felicity lovingly drapes it over her arm before walking towards the stairs.

 

“Your father really doesn’t like Tommy,” she says. “Particular reason or just...not good enough for you?”

 

“He’s never liked anyone I’ve dated,” Laurel admits.

 

“Oliver?”

 

“Hated him.”

 

“Figures. Moira’s not exactly thrilled with me…” Felicity admits. “My mother would love Oliver. Absolutely love him.”

 

“That’s nice,” Laurel says.

 

“I know Moira likes you and I think is holding out hope you two will get back together,” Felicity says. 

 

“Oh well Ollie and I have a very long history,” Laurel says.

 

“And Tommy?”

 

“Him too.”

 

“I don’t want to insert myself into this argument that is coming at some point but I want to be clear about something,” Felicity begins, “I’m not sure if Oliver and I are forever. No one can know that. Maybe you and Tommy aren’t forever either. Regardless, you need to figure out if you and Tommy are right now. Stop hoping Oliver and I are going to break up so you can get back with him. Figure out your own relationship before someone gets hurt.”

 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

 

“Yes you do,” Felicity replies.

 

She leaves Laurel standing there in the basement. Tommy and Oliver have had a fight and Felicity stands beside Oliver. Laurel sees them standing in solidarity when she slips out the side door frowning. Heading home she can’t help but wonder if she’s doing to Tommy what Oliver did to her years ago.

* * *

 

Felicity listens as Oliver and Diggle fight. Accusations are thrown and Felicity tries to continue her work. In the oddest moments she feels like a disapproving mother and children are not in her plans right now. She itches to throw down her tablet and grab each of their ears until they behave.

 

“That’s enough!” she roars, giving in to her frustrations. “I’m trying to find the damn Count and you two are behaving like children!”

 

“Felicity,” Oliver says trying to placate her.   
  


“I believe I told you what I would do if you tried to placate me,” she remarks reminding him of when she confirmed his secret. “Now, you two can go down into the Foundry and fight it out or you can both grow up and have a conversation. I don’t care which you choose but if you interrupt me one more time, you will find out just how scary I can be.”

 

She doesn’t look back but instead sits down to look over the information she’s been compiling. She finds the surprise in the autopsy report from the aquarium but is unsure of it’s meaning. Instead she starts going through any recent Vertigo deaths. 

 

“Can I come in or are you planning to hurt me?” Oliver asks. 

 

“Are you going to act like a five year-old?” she asks.

 

“No,” he promises. “What are you working on?”

 

“Chlorpromazine.”

 

“Hmm…?”

 

“The cause of death for the guy at the aquarium was not Vertigo. It was chlorpromazine. The girl from the club? It was in her system,” Felicity explains. “How would he get enough of it to market the drug?”

 

“What if he never left?” Oliver mumbles. Felicity turns to look at him questioningly. “We’ve all assumed the Count escaped but what if he’s still there? What if he never left the institution?”

 

“How is that even possible? Wouldn’t someone have found him?”

 

“Maybe he’s not working alone…”

 

Oliver heads to the institution. He realizes his mistake when the doctor takes him down. Waking up he realizes his hood is off and his ear piece is gone. The doctor takes momentary delight in destroying it in front of him. The doctor does his usual, revealing the entire plan, before forcibly causing Oliver to be given a large dose of Vertigo. 

 

Oliver is distracted by the narrowing of his vision as a fight breaks out around him. He grabs an arrow from his quiver which reacts to the Vertigo causing him to vomit up the drugs...or at least enough of them. He runs after the doctor knowing he has to stop him. Notching three arrows he takes him out and falls to the ground in the hallway. It’s Diggle who finds him there.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Why’d you come?”

 

“Because we might have problems but we’re still partners,” Diggle explains. “Should we go back for the Count?”

 

“No...he’s gone. Crazy,” Oliver croaks. “Get me back to Felicity. She’ll be worried.”

 

“Who do you think called me?”

 

The two limp back to the Foundry to change. Dig helps him out of his suit and helps him back up the stairs. He finds Tommy’s note on the bar. Tommy has quit over Oliver not trusting him and Oliver can’t blame him. He’ll worry about it later. Right now he just wants to get home to his girl and deal with what has happened.

* * *

 

He can feel the vertigo in his system. He can feel it in the fringes waiting to move in and take over. Vertigo is like being hit by a truck and pumped full of endorphins so you don’t know you’ve been hit by a truck. He just sits there and shivers. This time he knows a little bit about what to expect so he doesn’t attack anyone. He just sits on the couch and watches Felicity make tea and gather sandwiches for a late dinner.

 

Diggle looks worn out too and practically jumps Felicity for the plate. He’s halfway through his first sandwich in two bites. Oliver can’t even look at the food yet. Instead he opens the blankets covering him and lets Felicity slide under them. She doesn’t need them. He doesn’t need them but he’s shivering all while sweating profusely. It’s a mess but she seems to realize he needs her. 

 

“So that happened,” Felicity says. 

 

“Are you okay man?” Diggle asks while wolfing down another sandwich. “The doctor…?”

 

“I’m a killer remember,” Oliver shivers through his response.

 

“I’ve killed Oliver. It’s just been a while. If you such a killer then why isn’t the Count down? It had to be tempting.”

 

“People change, I guess.” 

 

“Like the Count?” Diggle looks genuinely interested in this conversation.

 

“No me. A few months ago I would have put that guy down for good but looking at him today...there didn’t seem to be any point.”

 

“Mercy?” Felicity asks.

 

“Not everyone deserves mercy,” Oliver responds. “Deadshot for example.”

 

“I thought he wasn’t a priority to you,” Dig says quietly.

 

“He’s a priority to you. You two have unfinished business,” Oliver replies. “So we should get started.”

 

“We all should get started,” Felicity says. “Team Hood vs. Deadshot!”

 

“We’re not calling ourselves that,” Oliver says.

 

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be the first to admit I struggled with this chapter. It's still not up to my usual standards. This episode focuses a great deal on Tommy and his relationship with Oliver, Lance, and Laurel. Because my story is not focused on that character, I had to fill things in a bit. I have watched the next episode and am gearing up to write it (this one is going to be a big shift). I can tease Chapter 20 will feature a Moira/Felicity scene (a big one) and a Laurel/Oliver scene (a big one). So lots of changes there.
> 
> If you haven't seen, I've put out two new works since I last updated. The first is a one-shot "Growing Together" which is super AU with no island. It's a soft spot for me. I really loved it. 
> 
> The second is "In Your Eyes" which is another AU but this time Oliver comes back to Starling like Sara did. He's not rescued. He just comes back as the Hood and encounters Felicity (so his family does not know he's alive). Felicity and the Hood (she doesn't know he's Oliver) fall in love. There's only one chapter but I'm working on chapter 2 now.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. Truth

“Deadshot is stateside,” Felicity says interrupting a Diggle/Oliver workout. Momentarily she pauses because they are two sweaty, attractive men and she is a woman who likes that sort of thing. Her and Dig and firmly friends but she can appreciate the muscles as much as the next girl. Really though it’s her guy looking masculine and ready to defend the homestead that has her swooning. 

 

“What?” Diggle asks dropping everything to follow her to the computers. 

 

“I thought it might be helpful to track A.R.G.U.S.’ manhunt for Deadshot so I decrypted their communication logs,” she says. “That kind of makes me a cyber-terrorist which is bad because I really don’t see myself fitting in well at Guantanamo Bay.”

 

“They don’t send blondes there,” Oliver says.

 

“Well...I dye it.”

 

“Not really the point and I already knew that.”

 

“So what did you find?” Dig asks impatiently.

 

“Deadshot is scheduled to meet with a potential new client here in Starling except your not-so-much-a-friend-but-a-something-else Lyla is setting a trap.”

 

“Not so much a friend but a something else?” Dig asks.

 

“I have eyes Dig. They see things.”

 

“Okay well I’ll call her and see if I can get any information,” he says walking away.

 

“Try it shirtless! I bet that will get her to talk...in fact run there!” she calls after him.

 

“Why are you looking at Dig without a shirt?” Oliver asks sitting on the edge of her desk.

 

“Hey I can appreciate what has been in front of me,” Felicity says. “You know I’m all about your body. All those...muscles. So many muscles.” Her eyes dip down his stomach and pause. 

 

“Normally I would take you up on the vibe you are throwing out but I need to go meet with Laurel for lunch,” Oliver says leaning down to kiss her.

 

“Mood killer,” she quips.

 

“Felicity it’s not like that.”

 

“I know,” she sighs. “Maybe you could try not taking out your ex-girlfriend who’s your ex-best friend’s current girlfriend? Also, you know, the girl who is still in love with you. You know for simplicity.”

 

“I shoot people with arrows and wear a hood. I’m more complex.”

 

“Oliver you are not the complex. You’re a guy. Trust me I could get you to stay just by unbuttoning two buttons.”

 

“I’m wounded.”

 

“We need supplies for more s’mores so stop at the store on your way home,” she says turning back to her computer.

 

“I love you,” he says kissing the side of her head. “I’ll see you at home.”

 

“Love you too,” she says as he leaves. Sighing she turns back to the computer and starts running another program to try and find Walter. Even she’s starting to lose hope.

* * *

 

After not having lunch with Laurel due to her caseload and spending a long evening showing his girlfriend just how focused he can be on her, he’s surprised to hear the news about the death of the Moore’s. Felicity is understanding when he leaves to see Laurel at the police station and offers to help in any way she can. He leaves her with a cup of coffee and another long, soft kiss that leaves her glassy-eyed. He’ll show her complex.

 

He finds Tommy standing there instead of Laurel. He glares at Oliver and Oliver feels tired. He’s tired of dealing with Tommy and Laurel. He’s tired of being juggling the club and the hood. He’s just tired. All he wants to do is go home and just relax with his girl without the world exploding. He deserves a break right?

 

“What are you doing here?’ Tommy demands.

 

“I heard what happened and I just wanted to make sure Laurel was ok.”

 

“You could have called.”

 

“I met Laurel’s clients and their son yesterday and I felt badly.”

 

“You met them?” Tommy asks.

 

“Yeah when I was picking up Laurel for lunch...which she clearly did not tell you about. Great.”

 

“What does Felicity have to say about you having lunch with my girlfriend?”

 

“She told me to pick up supplies for s’mores so...okay I guess.”

 

“Taylor is coming home with us tonight,” Laurel says to Tommy. “Ollie what are you doing here?”

 

“I just came to check up on you. If you guys need anything--”

 

“We won’t,” Tommy says abruptly. “We’ll be fine without you.”

 

Laurel shoots Oliver a look as she’s led away. Oliver sighs and heads out knowing whoever tried to kill Taylor will be back. After a discussion with Dig and Felicity, Oliver suits up and sets himself up near Laurel’s apartment. He has a feeling the killer will come tonight. When he’s proven right it takes only two minutes for Tommy to suggest them staying at Oliver’s until the hitman is stopped.

* * *

 

Laurel and Tommy listen as John Diggle explains the security of the Queen Manor to them. He assures them of the security team and the ways they will be protected. Raisa comes and takes Taylor by the hand for cookies in the kitchen while Oliver messes with his phone.

 

“Please make yourself at home,” Moira says thrilled to have a full house again. Oliver has agreed to stay on during Laurel and Tommy’s stay. She will have a chance to talk to him without interruptions.

 

“Felicity,” Oliver says suddenly. He holds the door open and angrily removes a guard’s hands from her. “Ms. Smoak comes and goes as she pleases.”

 

“Oliver really,” Felicity says when he takes the suitcase from her. “I brought your suit for the...Lawton meeting.”

 

“Lawton...right. I forgot,” he says. “I’ll get right on that. Do you remember where my old room is?”

 

“Sure,” she says. “Where’s your security room? I can update the software and keep tabs on it.”

 

“That won’t be necessary,” Moira says harshly. “Our trained security team has much more experience than an I.T. girl.”

 

“Mr. Robbins?” Oliver calls gesturing to one of the new security men. “Please take Felicity to the security room and make sure she has everything she needs.”

 

“Oliver!” Moira says. “That is unnecessary.”

 

“I’m not going to spend the next few days arguing with you about Felicity. She’s with me and that’s what matters.”

 

Laurel and Tommy look uncomfortable during the argument but they manage to divert their gaze and at least pretend to not eavesdrop. Laurel watches as Raisa re-enters the room, carrying a tray with tea and cookies on it. 

 

“Raisa, let me carry that,” Oliver says lifting the tray from her hands. “Where would you like it?”

 

“The living room unless you would all prefer it in the foyer?” She says glancing around at the tension. “Where is Miss Felicity? Surely you have not done something so stupid as to leave her at home?”

 

“She’s with the security team Raisa.”

 

“Good sometimes those men need a firm hand to keep them in line,” she says. “I made it quite clear they are not welcome in my kitchen.”

 

“Am I?” he asks as they walk towards the living room leaving Moira, Tommy, and Laurel to play catch-up.

 

“I expect you to use the kitchen and show me what you’ve learned. Miss Felicity says you cook all the time at your home,” Raisa says setting out the cups. “I know you didn’t learn any of that from me. Now I’ll go see to Mr. Taylor. He needs to eat something. Should I then go to Miss Felicity? I know she forgets to eat.”

 

“Please Raisa,” he says. “I need to go to a meeting and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Can you help her get settled too?”

 

“Of course,” Raisa says. 

 

“You’re leaving?” Tommy asks.

 

“I have a prior engagement Tommy. I can’t miss it,” he says. “You and Laurel will be fine here.”

* * *

 

Moira steps into the study with her cup of tea to find Laurel sitting there looking at old pictures. Laurel is smiling at the picture of her and Oliver and Moira smiles in return.

 

“You looked so beautiful that night,” she says. Laurel looks up at her and puts the picture down. “I remember Oliver telling me once he wished your father would let him come over to your house more often. That being there made him feel less like Robert Queen’s son and more like himself.”

 

“I miss him,” Laurel admits. “I miss him a lot more than I expected.”

 

“He’s home now Laurel,” Moira says.

 

“Yes but my Oliver...he’s not here anymore. He’s become someone else,” she says sadly. “I just...I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I liked who my son was when he was around you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Why don’t we head down to the kitchen and get you some tea,” Moira says. “It might help you sleep.”

 

The two head down the steps and go towards the kitchen. They both pause in the doorway when they see Oliver and Felicity in front of the stove. Oliver seems to be cooking something while Felicity watches.

 

“Do you think I made the wrong decision tonight?” he asks. “With John?”

 

“I think it’s not that simple,” Felicity replies. “You made a decision tonight and to John it was choosing the old over the new.”

 

“Do you think I was wrong?”

 

“I can’t answer that,” she says. “It’s a matter of trust. John trusted you to be there and you weren’t. Maybe you made the right call and maybe you didn’t. You just have to remember John might not always wait for you to be there for him.”

 

“It’s hard to balance this life,” he says. 

 

“I know. That’s why we have s'mores at 1 in the morning at least once a week,” she says. “Are they almost done?”

 

“Here,” he says offering her the plate. He moves to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder. “Don’t get fed up with me.”

 

“I’ll try really hard not to,” she says offering him a bite. “Try to keep John and me in mind okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Moira and Laurel turn around and leave the kitchen. They stepped into something private and neither seem to want to mess with it. Moira lingers downstairs long after Laurel has gone upstairs and watches as Oliver and Felicity leave the kitchen. The first crash of thunder sounds and Oliver goes rigid.

 

“Do you think you can sleep?” Felicity asks him. “I forgot they were calling for storms tonight.”

 

“I’ll try,” he admits. “I’ve been pretty good for awhile now but you’ll stay?”

 

“Where would I go?” she asks him.

* * *

 

The scream echoes through the house and Moira jumps up. She listens carefully but can only hear the howl of the wind, the lashing of the rain, and the thunder. She grasps her robe and and rushes for the door, wrenching it open. She is attuned to her children and her heart feels like it’s lodged in her throat. She rushes for Oliver’s door and throws it open.

 

The door bangs open and she freezes in the doorway. The bed is empty and the sheets are on the floor. There is a torn shirt laying on the floor at their feet. Oliver is against the window seat and he’s holding himself tight in a fetal position. Felicity comes alongside the bed and stands beside Moira for a moment. Glancing at her, Felicity moves forward kneeling beside Oliver.

 

“Shh...it’s okay,” she says firmly. “You’re with me Oliver. You’re okay.”

 

“Felicity,” he croaks. 

 

“I know. It’s because we’re not home...” she says. Ignoring his mother she just hugs him to her. He doesn’t respond so instead she just rests her head on top of his and holds him. “Listen to my heartbeat okay?”

 

She rubs her hand over his back and soothes the bunched muscles. Using the very little breathing techniques she’s picked up from watching him she tries to maneuver them into a more relaxed breathing pattern. She smiles when she realizes he’s mimicking her. He hasn’t had a nightmare in months but she knows the storms tend to aggravate his fear. He slumps into her and she tugs a nearby blanket over them. 

 

Moira just stands there watching the two of them and notices Oliver calming. His back stops heaving and his grasp on her softens. His eyes smooth into relaxation and Felicity continues to hold him, swaying gently. She opens her eyes and meets the trio’s gaze and smiles slightly.

 

“He’ll be okay,” she says. “You can go back to bed.”

 

Moira lingers a moment or two more watching the couple. Felicity’s focus is entirely on Oliver and Oliver is clutching her like a lifeline. When she does leave she does not go back to bed. Instead she goes down and sits in the kitchen with a cup of tea. She sits there and and just thinks. The sun rises and still she just considers things, waiting and pondering.

 

“Oh Mrs. Queen,” Felicity says surprised. “I thought…you would be asleep.”

 

“No,” Moira responds. 

 

“I never sleep after Oliver has a nightmare,” she says. “I just stay up and make sure he stays asleep. I need a lot of coffee but it makes Oliver feel guilty so I’ll drink some now and then I’ll…”

 

“Women tend to hide things like that from the men they love,” Moira says. “It makes them feel guilty so we mask our discomfort to ease things. They do it too in their own way.”

 

“Mrs. Queen?” Felicity asks.

 

“Moira,” she says. “Moira. That will be fine.”

 

Felicity looks at her questioningly and Moira gestures to the chair across from her. Felicity sits in the chair gently and stirs her coffee. Moira reaches out and lays her hand over Felicity’s.

 

“I was wrong,” she begins. “I say that rarely but I was. You truly love my son and I’m...glad he has found you. I’ve been so unaware of my children and Oliver...it was easier to pretend he’d been away. It’s easy to forget what he went through. He makes it so easy.”

 

“Oliver doesn’t want to be defined by it,” Felicity explains. “He views it as something dirty or sinful. He thinks it will make people look at him differently so he hides his problems and insecurities. I try to respect his boundaries but he knows I’ll push if needed.”

 

“I did not even notice he was not eating properly or sleeping properly. He’s been angry and experiences these triggers...” Moira says. “Will you keep watching over him?”

 

“Always,” Felicity replies smiling.

 

“Yes. Now let’s talk,” Moira says. “Tell me about yourself and your plans for the future.”

 

Oliver finds them just like that. Moira is explaining the intricacies of being CEO while Felicity nods and asks questions. The coffee carafe is sitting between them and almost empty. He notices the package of crackers and sighs. Neither woman can cook to save their lives.

 

“Morning,” he says leaning down to kiss Felicity. She pauses mid sentence and kisses him back. “You look beautiful this morning.”

 

“What do you want?” she asks.

 

“If I make you eggs, will you eat them?”

 

“If you make me pancakes, I’ll eat them,” she replies. “Did you sleep through?”

 

“Yes,” he replies. “You should eat and go back to bed.”

 

“I’ll survive.”

 

“I love you,” he says softly before kissing her forehead. 

 

“Oliver, make the pancakes,” Moira commands, “I’m not done talking to your girlfriend. So Felicity you had ideas about streamlining our plans to grow Applied Sciences.”

 

“Well Star Labs is working on some really innovative things and it might be worthwhile for Queen Consolidated to partner with Dr. Wells and his staff moving forward. They already have a satellite warehouse here plus SCPD works jointly with the CCPD when it comes to Iron Heights. It would make sense to more fully partner the cities in greater ways. With the particle accelerator being worked on and the potential growth that sector has...it would be in our best interest to get ahead of the competition. I can guarantee Kord Industries is already trying to partner.”

 

“Kord has been becoming such an irritant in recent months,” Moira muses. “Perhaps you are right. You’re wasted in I.T. Perhaps we should discuss that further.”

 

“I’m not looking for that,” Felicity says blushing. 

 

“Queen Consolidated deserves the best people in positions where they can create change. It seems you are being wasted in your position,” Moira continues. “Oliver what is that you are doing?”

 

“He’s adding chocolate chips, right?” Felicity asks. “And nothing else?”

 

“Would it kill you to have a banana or something?” He asks putting the fruit down in the fruit bowl. 

 

“It might,” Felicity says. “I have conditioned my body to accept junk, takeout and copious amounts of Chinese food. You are corrupting my body.”

 

“I love your body and I want you to be healthy,” he remarks. “Why do you think I keep cooking all the time? I’m trying to save your life.”

 

“I’ll allow one of those smoothies you make, seriously so good Moira, but none in my pancakes! Don’t mess with a good thing. Now I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

 

“Smoothies?” Moira asks.

 

“It’s a battle to get her to eat healthier. She hides chocolate all over the place and I had to lockdown Diggle because he kept doing takeout runs for her. Now it’s a bagged lunch and I try to get as much healthy food into her as possible and it is not easy.”

 

“Look at you Oliver,” Moira says. “This is what your father and I always wanted for you. We had thought you had it with Laurel but...”

 

“It’s been difficult since I came home and she helps me feel...normal. It’s different with her.” 

 

Oliver starts pouring the batter onto the pan and turns to get plates out for each of them. He’s slow and methodical as he cooks and Moira watches him. She’s not used to this side of Oliver. He’s very calm and collected and he’s very focused on his task. 

 

“Is she okay?” he asks. “She won’t tell me if I hurt her or if I scared her.”

 

“I think she’s very strong and very protective of you. She’s not going to give you ammunition to torture yourself.”

 

“You two sound closer,” he says. “I know you haven’t been...supportive.”

 

“After last night I realized I misjudged her. So we’ve been talking. I know you do not need and are not looking for it, but I approve of what I’ve seen,” Moira says. “Promise me you won’t elope.”

 

“Mom,” Oliver says smiling. 

 

“You are not allowed to elope with Felicity,” she says. “You will do the right thing. I deserve to see my only son get married whenever you finally ask her. I’ve missed enough.”

 

“Okay Mom. No eloping,” he says turning back to the pancakes.

 

“Good. Do you have the ring or do you need access to the safe?”

 

“Mom!”

 

“I’ve seen the way you look at her Oliver,” Moira says. “Now I’m going to make myself look a little more presentable. Please make me some pancakes as well and like Felicity, don’t try sneaking fruit into mine either.”

 

“Of course not,” he replies. Felicity re-enters as Moira leaves and moves towards him. She wraps her arms around him and just nuzzles his back. “You two…”

 

“Better,” she says. “I think it will be okay.”

 

“You should go back to bed,” he says. “I kept you up.”

 

“And miss the awkward relationship issues? No thank you. Do you think they’ll be okay?”

 

“Honestly? No,” he explains. “I don’t know what to do for them but they’re imploding and I don’t think they even realize it yet.”

 

“Laurel is still in love with you Oliver. That needs to be dealt with.”

 

“I would never…”

 

“Oliver I trust you,” Felicity says. “I know you wouldn’t cheat and I know that it is part of your history but you are not that man anymore.”

 

“What would I do without you?”

 

“You probably would have dated Helena…”

 

“Oh...yeah probably,” he admits. “That would have gone poorly.”

 

“Aren’t you glad you met me instead?” she says when he puts her pancakes on a plate. “I’m so docile and unproblematic.”

 

“Definitely not words I would use to describe you,” he says. 

 

“The Hood needs someone strong enough to keep him in line.”

 

“Yes,” he says. “While you eat I’ll tell you a story about the island.”

 

“Is it a shirtless story? Those are my favorite,” she asks him as her hand trails down his chest. “Picturing you covered in sweat...mmm”

 

“Eat your pancakes,” he commands.

* * *

 

Laurel doesn’t know what to make of the sudden shift in the Queen household. After a quiet breakfast with Tommy and Taylor she heads down to the living room, surprised to find Oliver alone poring over ledgers and inventory sheets. He looks tired but he’s smiling. She watches him for a moment when he reaches into his pocket and tugs out what looks like a compass. He looks at it for a moment before slipping it back into his pocket.

 

“Morning Laurel,” he says. “Where’s Tommy?”

 

“Playing with Taylor,” she says. “Felicity?”

 

“Getting the grand tour from my mother,” he says as he flips one of the inventory pages. “I don’t expect to see her before dinner knowing Mom. She was going on about the paintings and I didn’t have the heart to tell her Felicity has no clue what she’s talking about. Show her the security room or a laptop and she is so much more interested.”

 

“Oh...I thought they weren’t getting along,” Laurel says.

 

“Things change.”

 

“Yeah,” Laurel says unnecessarily before slipping down onto the couch beside Oliver. “Sometimes things can go back though.”

 

“Some things but not all things,” Oliver remarks. “Some things are best left in the past.”

 

“Ollie…”

 

“I’m thinking about proposing,” he says quickly. “Not right now because we’re still waiting for information on Walter and I’m still healing from the island. Soon though. Maybe in the Fall so we can plan get settled in a house first.”

 

“Propose?! I didn’t know you were headed that way.”

 

“Where did you think it was going Laurel?” Oliver asks looking up at her. “I’m in love with Felicity and we’re building a life together. I’m planning to love her for the rest of my life.”

 

“Oliver...I…what if there was another option?”

 

“I don’t want another option Laurel,” he says firmly. “She’s going to be my...always. There is no choice for me. There hasn’t been since I came home. I’d like to think I would have found her even if we hadn’t met that day that somehow we would have found each other. When you live the way I did for so long...you stop hoping for things. I want it all. The wedding. The house. The kids. I want it all and I want it with her.” 

 

“Ollie…”

 

“I know my history is...colorful. I’m sorry for how I treated you back then. I can’t undo it. I can’t fix it. I can just say I’m sorry and hope you forgive me for it,” he explains. “I wasn’t ready for all of this then. I’m ready now. I think maybe I grew up. Huh...”

 

“Ollie…”

 

“I hope you find it with someone Laurel...with Tommy or someone else. I hope you find it,” he says before standing. “I need to go check on something.”

 

Laurel is left sitting there surrounded by Oliver’s things and feels more cut off from everything than ever before. Her heart hurts and she can’t help but look around for something to ground her. She always thought it would be Oliver and Laurel but now...she’s really lost him. 

 

When Tommy comes up behind her she barely reacts. He touches her shoulder, massaging the tense muscles. He’s a good guy. She knows that. It’s just...he’s not Oliver. She should let him go but then she’ll be alone. 

 

“Are you okay?” he asks.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“We’ll get him.”

 

“Him?”

 

“The gunman Laurel. We’ll get him.”

 

“Okay.”

* * *

 

It’s a quiet night in the Queen Manor. Laurel puts Taylor to bed and turns to see Tommy standing in the hallway awkwardly. Walking out she sees him staring at Oliver who is flat on his back with a screwdriver, trying to fix a table that is off balance. Felicity is standing nearby talking into her cell phone. Laurel makes a face when she sees Oliver’s free hand slipping up Felicity’s leg, causing her to look down at him with a ‘down boy’ look on her face. Tommy catches Laurel’s look and frowns.

 

When the power cuts out everyone jumps. Oliver is on his feet in a second and he tugs Felicity down the hallway towards Tommy and Laurel. Gesturing the three of them into the room, he slams the door shut and Laurel jumps at the sound of the door knob being broken off the door.

 

Laurel sits with Taylor but watches as Felicity immediately goes to the windows and checks the latches. She also heads to the bathroom door and makes sure there is no other exit. She’s calm and collected while Laurel can’t help but freak out even if it is internally. Tommy looks just as worried but he watches Felicity too.

 

“We’ll be fine,” Felicity says. “Oliver will get help.”

 

“He’s out there with a trained hitman…” Laurel says.

 

“Oliver will get help,” Felicity says sharing a glance with Tommy.

 

They hear the gunshots and they all jump. Felicity watches the door with a level of intensity that surprises Laurel. She slips her heels off and grabs a baseball bat nestled in the corner, handing it to Tommy.

 

“Just in case,” she says. She picks up the phone but the person doesn’t answer. “Damn it.”

 

The loud crash echoes through the space and Felicity jumps again. They wait in silence as footsteps come stumbling towards them. A shoulder thuds against the door but when it swings open it’s Oliver, looking worse for wear. 

 

He immediately reaches for Felicity and hugs her to him saying it’s over. He nods towards Tommy and then asks Felicity to call the police. Downstairs Laurel and Tommy watch the police come into the space and remove the bodies of the security team and the hired man. Laurel and Tommy also watch as Felicity stands next to Oliver and cleans up the cuts on his face and hands. 

 

Laurel’s father takes statements but expresses his irritation in the story being told. He knows there is something wrong with it but he cannot figure out what it is. Either way he offers Laurel, Tommy, and Taylor a ride and they accept leaving Queen Manor behind for the night. Tommy does not miss the longing look in Laurel’s eyes.

* * *

 

When Oliver tells Felicity about his argument with Diggle and Diggle leaving the team after the night they had, he can see the damage on her face. She’s crushed and he doesn’t know what to do. He still thinks he made the right decision to deal with the immediate threat to Laurel and Tommy versus the non-immediate threat with Deadshot. Either way he knows Felicity is deeply hurt by the decisions made without her.

 

In the living room they sit, silent as the television recaps the attack on Queen Manor. Oliver holds her hand and tries to figure out a way to make this okay. He screwed up with John. He knows that. He knows he should have been there when it came to Deadshot. He should have been there but he just can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t gone to help Laurel.

 

For the first time since he moved in she sleeps with her back to him and he lays awake thinking. She’s not exactly mad at him. Disappointed maybe. In the middle of the night he rubs a hand over her back and sighs. He kisses her shoulder and gets out of bed. He places the note on the pillow and heads out. Maybe punching things will make him feel better.

 

It doesn’t. He heads home in the early hours and removes the note, falling into bed. He lays there and just lets the exhaustion in his body move him towards sleep. She moves into his arms then and snuggles against him, kissing his chest gently.

 

“Did it help?” she asks. From her tone she clearly wasn’t asleep.

 

“No,” he replies. They say nothing more. Instead they just lay there, both awake and both struggling to deal with what it means now that John has left them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! 
> 
> Okay so I had this big Laurel/Oliver scene planned and then after doing a quick watch of the next episode, I realized it fit there way better than in this chapter. So instead we had a Laurel/Oliver lite-conversation instead. Oliver is trying really hard to let Laurel down easy but she's not really fully getting it. So next time.
> 
> Moira/Felicity are in a good, hopeful place for the moment. They will have issues later but for now they are doing okay. Moira is really protective of her kids so seeing Felicity in this way really helped Moira accept her. 
> 
> A great tease is the Diggle/Felicity relationship which will have a big scene in chapter 21 as well. I always felt like Diggle leaving the team was handled incorrectly. They were three, not two and Diggle didn't really consider Felicity (to be fair, neither did Oliver). So that will be handled.
> 
> Otherwise I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. It will probably be a week before the next one because this weekend is going to be busy.


	21. Partners

Oliver can’t sleep. He just settles on his side and watches Felicity. Throughout his time back in Starling City he has systematically lost everything he cares about. Tommy barely speaks to him. Laurel is...well Laurel. Thea is busy with her own life and now John. He doesn’t know how to fix it. He doesn’t know how to keep his life together anymore and looking at Felicity, he can’t help but wonder if it is possible at all.

 

He has so little left to lose and she’s pretty much it at this point. His hand ghosts over her hip softly and he watches the gentle rise and fall of her breathing. He knows she’s hurting over the team break-up. He knows she’s upset with him. He knows he will probably push her too far one day and then he’ll really be alone.

 

“Get up,” she groans. “Get up and put some pants on.”

 

“What?” he asks as he scrambles up, grabbing his discarded sweats.

 

He watches her get up and tug a pair of yoga pants over her hips. She leaves his t-shirt on and grabs a pair of flats. She shoves him towards the door and grabs her keys absent-mindedly. One glance and he closes his mouth. She is in no mood.

 

Folding himself into her tiny car is not his favorite thing to do but clearly she will have no patience for complaints. He watches as the buildings pass them by as they drive out of the city, winding through fields until they are at the beginnings of the nature preserve.

 

“Go swing from some trees or punch a rock or something,” she grumbles. 

 

“Felicity?”

 

“I’m mad and frustrated and tired,” she starts. “You need to tire yourself out or something before I kick you out of bed. Then I’ll feel guilty and won’t sleep. So, work off your frustrations and then we can get some sleep.”

 

“I don’t punch rocks,” he finally says. 

 

She rolls her eyes at him and then hits the lever to lay back on the seat. With one finger she points outside the car closes her eyes. Her message is clear. So he follows her directions. He stretches and warms up before climbing one of the trees and taking off. It’s quiet and calm in the woods tonight. He can hear an owl in the distance but he ignores those sounds. 

 

Nature calms him now in a way it never had before the island. He often feels more at peace when he’s in trees and touching dirt than in a boardroom. He doesn’t know if he has that in him any more. Right now he can coast on his money but what kind of career can he offer? What can he see himself doing for years when his crusade is over? How will he make his children proud of him if he can’t bring himself to work a normal job?

His life is nothing like he imagined it would be all that time on the island. None of it followed the plan he saw for himself. Instead he’s found things he never expected and lost things he forgot he could lose.

* * *

 

Felicity comes awake to the smell of breakfast cooking and she bolts upright in bed. Her mind races back to the car in the woods but after that it’s a blank. The chair near the bed has her robe on it and she grabs it, tying it loosely in case there are unexpected guests in the living room. 

 

There are not. There is just Oliver in boxers, cooking breakfast. It’s a sight that still gets her every time she encounters it. This man...he has survived so much and he’s the complete package. She still cannot believe he wants to be with her. It’s not so much a personal self-esteem issue but more of a, they are from two different worlds issue. She knows her worth. She knows she’s an amazing woman, attractive and smart. She knows she’s a catch even when she acts like she doesn’t. She knows she’s worth it. Sometimes when Oliver looks at her she feels unsure. How can a man who has lived through all he has look at her that way?

 

“Morning,” she says quietly. He spins and looks at her unsure but drops a kiss on her mouth like he does everyday. He pulls away but she stops him, dragging him back to her. He smells like dirt and trees and it’s weirdly erotic. His lips are smooth and he tastes like coffee, black and bitter, and she can feel the pulse of his blood under her hand. 

 

She glances at the stove and notices the food is done. She reaches out and switches off the eggs and meets his heated gaze. She watches him for a second as he slips the spatula onto the counter before turning back to face her, his body brushing against hers. He’s warm against her and she can feel his reaction to her morning kiss. 

 

Sliding her hands down his neck, his chest, his sides, she shoves his boxers to the floor. The pool on the floor and for a second she remembers her mother telling her how sexy it is to have a man look like that. She almost shakes her head to get her mother out of there but she’s too distracted.

 

“Felicity?”

 

She doesn’t answer him. She just steps back and unties her robe, letting it drop to the kitchen floor. His eyes stay with hers, not dipping lower or straying to her body. He’s focused on her face and she nearly moans out loud. Sexy. He’s just so sexy. She keeps that eye contact and walks backwards. Motioning with one finger she watches him step out of his boxers and over her robe to follow her down the hall. 

 

She points to the bed and he moves past her. He sits on the bed and sighs when she points further up the bed, gesturing for him to sit against the headboard. He waits for her, watching her face as she comes to stand beside the bed and reaches out to touch him where he’s hard and throbbing. He hisses at the contact but she ignores it. 

She slips over him in a move that is way more graceful than she ever expected. She always feels full of him when they make love. She always feels like this is the type of thing people wish for all their lives and never get. It’s magic and right and perfect. 

 

Skin to skin. This is the easy part. The rest is so hard sometimes but this? This moment of complete connection? This is easy. Effortless. His breath against her cheek? Her name against her ear? His heartbeat under her breast? Undeniable.

 

His hands slip over her hips and hold her still for a second as he kisses her. Her hands are braced over his head against the wall but she brings them down to wrap her arms around his neck. He groans against her as he moves her hips faster than the pace she had set. Her head falls back and his lips slip over her neck as they move faster and faster and fast--

 

“That was...wow,” she manages after a while. Oliver chuckles against her breast, pressing a kiss there before kissing her fully. She stretches slowly as he slides to the bed next to her and throws his arm over his eyes.

 

“The eggs are ruined,” he sighs. “Do you want to grab something at the diner down the street?”

 

“I’m already late,” she replies. She leans off the bed for a second and tugs her phone to the bed next to her. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Calling out…”

 

“You are playing hooky? You?!” he asks slipping his hand over her stomach and slipping against the side of her body. “And what do you have planned for the rest of the day.”

 

“First breakfast. I’m feeling pancakes and maybe a mimosa because I deserve a mimosa and also I need a mimosa. Are you sensing a theme?”

 

“Clearly you need a round two if you can ramble this much…”

 

“Right so round two in the foundry. You worked up a sweat the other night down there but...interrupted. Am I being too clinical?”

 

“No,” he laughs. “So third?”

 

“Walter’s disappearance. We need to work on it.”

* * *

 

“So I’m guessing some rich guy is missing his fancy laptop?” she asks him as he prowls around the space. She sighs at his silence and opens the computer nudging the power key. When it doesn’t power on she sighs again and heads for her overflow chargers, digging in the box for the correct one.

 

“Harold Backman. He’s who Starling City’s worst call when they want to launder money in the Caymans.”

 

“So...shouldn’t we just give this to, the IRS?” 

 

“Once you return the money to the rightful owners Felicity,”

 

“Ah...I see how it is. You only want me here for my brain.”

 

“I think your brain is sexy,” he says, stepping behind her. “How long is it going to take to break in?”

 

“Days...probably. He’s got an asymmetric encryption algorithm. Not my favorite…”

 

“Better get started then,” he replies moodily.

 

“At the risk of ending up with an angry Oliver, when are you planning to make peace with Dig?”

 

“He left Felicity. I did everything I could to stop him.”

 

“Except apologize,” she says standing. She touches his cheek gently. “You promised you’d help him with Lawton and then you…”

 

“Made a choice I can live with. If he can’t get over it then I don’t need him. I need to go,” he breaks away. “Let me know when you break in.”

 

“Sure thing Captain,” she mutters as the door slams shut. “No one seems to care what I need right now…”

* * *

 

Oliver sits upstairs in the bar and broods. He was short with her, angry and he really should apologize. It’s not her fault John has left and he knows she’s hurting too. She’s always pushing him and he loves her for it. At the same time sometimes he wishes she wouldn’t because then he has to shoulder all the blame again. It’s a tiring job.

 

“Hey Ollie,” Laurel says as she approaches the bar. “Can I...maybe get a cup of coffee.”

 

“Sure Laurel,” he says heading for the small coffee maker. It’s not usually on this time of day. Well not since Tommy quit. So he fires it up and brews a small pot knowing Felicity will want some later. Maybe. If she’s not too mad at him.

“This coffee is terrible,” she says grimacing. 

 

“That’s what you get for ordering coffee in a bar,” he answers. He does flip open the ledger and then closes it again. He doesn’t have the patience for numbers this morning. He doesn’t have the patience for anything. The morning had started great and then...darkness. It always comes back to darkness.

 

“Tommy broke up with me,” Laurel says quietly. “I don’t know what happened. We were good. Great actually and then suddenly he’s packing up his things and telling me it’s over.”

 

Oliver doesn’t ask her what he packed up since as far as he knows Tommy never got a drawer or half a closet. It’s probably best to ignore it. Instead he thinks about the townhomes he saw being built on the edge of the city. Him and Felicity might compromise out there. Somewhat affordable and close enough to Queen Consolidated…

 

“Did he say anything to you Ollie?”

 

“No,” Oliver responds focusing on the conversation. “Tommy and I haven’t spoken much since he quit. Did you ask him?”

 

“No. Everything keeps ending. Like with you,” she says meeting his eyes. “You slept with my sister Ollie. Clearly there was something wrong with me.”

 

“There was something wrong with me Laurel,” he says sighing. “I wasn’t ready for the future yet and you wanted it all. You wanted to move in together and I was barely able to decide what I was going to do the next day. You were expecting a proposal and marriage and kids and I...you wouldn’t listen Laurel. I told you I wasn’t ready.”

 

“You’re ready now,” she says hopefully. 

 

“Yeah,” he says gently. “I am ready now.”

 

“So..we…” Laurel begins slipping around the bar. “We…”

 

“There is no we Laurel,” Oliver says again putting some distance between them. “You should talk to Tommy and find out what happened.”

 

“I know what happened Oliver,” she says. “I’m in love with you.”

 

“You can’t be in love with me Laurel. You don’t even know me anymore,” Oliver says glancing wearily towards the door to the Foundry. Felicity could come up at any second and he really doesn’t want to have this conversation in front of her.

 

“It’s always been Laurel and Oliver, forever and always,” she says. “You know that.”

 

“Maybe it was Laurel but it’s not now. I’m in love with Felicity. How many times do I have to say that?” he says letting his patience go. “What do you want me to say Laurel? Do you think I haven’t noticed how you treat her? How you spill things on her and make snide comments? How you delight in my mother not liking her until recently? Do you think I don’t notice any of it?”

 

“Oliver come on,” she says. “I was waiting for you to be better again! I thought you needed time and I was still angry. I didn’t expect you to be with the first woman who looked at you!”

 

“Wow you really have no respect for me or for Felicity do you? DO YOU?!” he yells. “I didn’t fall into bed with the first person to look at me Laurel. I feel in love with the first person who made me feel human again. The person who helped me find solace and clarity. The person who understands me and doesn’t expect me to live up to old, ridiculous expectations. I’m never going to be that guy you thought I would be. Never, Laurel.”

 

She doesn’t say anything. Instead she launches herself at him, kissing him suddenly and for a second Oliver is stunned. His mind clicks on and he pushes her away, hard enough she bumps against the bar but not so hard she’s hurt.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” he practically roars. He wipes the back of his hand against his mouth and notices Laurel’s slight flinch at the insult. “I’m done Laurel. Done. Get out and don’t come back. You are no longer welcome here or my home. Just...just go.”

 

“Ollie…”

 

“Oh I totally just walked into a thing didn’t I?” Felicity asks sheepishly barely noticing the tension. 

 

“Not now Felicity,” Laurel says absently. “Oliver and I are talking.”

 

“We’re done,” Oliver says moving out from behind the bar. “Let’s get some burgers.” 

 

“I...I thought we were…” Felicity says confused by his mood. “I got something for you and I thought…”

 

“Later,” he says. “I want to apologize for earlier and I thought it might be better with burgers.”

 

“For the record, I’m just that good with computers. I got you an answer.”

 

“We can talk about it at lunch,” he says gently. “Laurel why are you still here?”

 

“I...I don’t…” Laurel turns to go and Oliver barely glances her way. Instead his eyes are on Felicity and Felicity looks to him for clarification.

 

“It’s nothing,” he says. “I just dealt with a irritating problem.”

* * *

 

It’s only later when Felicity tells him what she has discovered. She’s munching on fries when she reveals a concrete indicator of Walter’s disappearance. Backman has a record of a payoff on the same date Walter went missing. It’s all there. Someone paid to disappear Walter and now the two of them will need to follow the trail.

 

“Did you get a name?” he asks. 

 

“Have you met me?” she replies. “Dominic Alonzo. Ring a bell?”

 

“He runs the biggest underground casino in Starling City when he’s not busy kidnapping and trafficking.”

 

“Sounds like a real prince,” she replies. “Is he on your father’s list?”

 

“He’s not. He’s a newer bit of scum in this city.”

 

“How many arrows do you think you’ll have to put in him before he gives up Walter’s location? A lot?” 

 

“It’s not that simple,” he says taking her hand. “His casino has it’s own private army. We need to get access to his computer and that means getting into the casino.”

 

“Too bad we don’t have anyone else to call…”

 

“We’ll do this on our own,” he says ignoring the comment about Diggle.

 

“So...gambling tonight?”

 

“It’s not that easy. The guys would make me the minute that I walked in there. Oliver Queen would never play there.”

 

“I meant me,” she says grabbing her soda and tugging him after her. He throws the money on the table and waves to Carly before walking side-by-side with her towards the club. “You know me. I count cards. It’s all just probability and math anyway. Plus Vegas? I’m at home in a casino.”

 

“I’m not letting you walk into an underground casino, surrounded by mercenaries, and run by a guy who kidnaps and trafficks beautiful women.”

 

“The reason I joined you in the first place was to help find Walter and we have an actual chance Oliver. You have to let me do this.”

 

She gives him that look that means he’s lost the argument. He can’t get in there on his own. He would be made the second he entered. Plus the Hood is good for this but he risks damaging the computer or losing Alonzo in the process.

 

“Fine but we’re doing it my way,” he says. Triumphantly she nods and he knows nothing is going to go well.

* * *

 

“Hi,” Felicity says when John opens the door. 

 

“What do you want?” John asks.

 

“Is that any way to treat a girl who just walked up 6 flights of stairs in these shoes?” she asks. John opens the door and gestures her inside. 

 

“You know, Felicity, Oliver and I don’t need a relationship counselor.”

 

“That hasn’t been my experience,” she jokes. “We have a lead on Walter. I need you to come back and help us find him. Please.”

 

“Oliver put you up to this?”

 

“No. He doesn’t even know I’m here,” she says. “I know Oliver didn’t help you find your brother’s killer and that hurts.”

 

“You’re right it hurts. He knows how much this means to me. It’s the only thing I’ve ever really asked of him,” John says.

 

“You gotta know if it was your life on the line on not just your...very understandable vendetta, he would be there for you. No hesitation,” she says. 

 

“I don’t want a partnership with those kind of qualifications, Felicity.”

 

“I know Oliver’s religiously against admitting he’s wrong but we need you,” she says.

 

“Well when Oliver is ready to say that, he knows where I live.”

 

“I thought maybe me asking would be enough,” Felicity says.

 

“My problem isn’t with you,” Dig admits. 

 

“Maybe my problem is with you,” Felicity says surprising Diggle. “You’re my only friend Dig and you just...cut me out. You didn’t even think about it. You didn’t even come to talk to me. You just left. It’s nice to know where I stand.”

 

“Felicity,” Dig says reaching out. She shrugs him off.

 

“I thought if I came here and asked you would help. If I did, you would put aside your issues and come back because I need you. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

 

“Felicity, it’s not like that…”

 

“It’s fine. I’m used to...being left out,” she says. “I hope you and Oliver work it out. I really do. I have to go. Bye John.”

 

The door click echoes in the apartment and Dig stares after her. He didn’t consider...of course he didn’t consider. Felicity makes it so easy to be friends. She never asks for anything other than the occasional food run and even then she usually goes. He hasn’t considered the fact Felicity doesn’t have friends. She’s always at work or with the two of them. He’s really hurt her and for a second he’s afraid. What if he does lose her?

 

He sits down in his empty apartment and sighs. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. If only Oliver had just...it doesn’t matter. It’s not the point.

* * *

 

Oliver can sense the fragility surrounding Felicity the second she steps into their apartment. She looks tired and stressed and for a second he doesn’t recognize the third emotion. Sadness. That’s what it is. She’s upset and she brushes past him, heading for her closet and the dress buried in the back.

 

Her fingers fumble with the zipper and he reaches out to take the dress from her. She looks up at him blankly and he tugs her into his arms. She wraps her arms around him and just sighs. He knows where she was. She went to see John. Of course she did. She would want that extra level of protection and clearly he turned her down. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Oliver says. “It’s my fault.”

 

“No,” she says. “John’s at fault too. We’ll figure it out.”

 

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“For Walter,” she replies.

* * *

 

Oliver doesn’t like it. He can hear her winning her games and having fun but he feels the tension in him. He doesn’t like he can’t see her. He knows better than anyone how quick and easy killing an inquisitive person can be. A neck snap. A bullet. There would be nothing he can do. She would be dead before he could get to her.

 

It’s only when she gets taken from the card table that he feels the first moment of relief. Everything is working out. He listens carefully, touching his bow tightly as he waits for any indication she is in danger. It is only when the comm is crushed does he react.

 

His mind is in a haze as he takes down gunman after gunman. Most people escape with no injuries and he is thankful. Felicity would not appreciate innocents being hurt because of her plan. Alonzo has his hands on her and Oliver has to breathe slowly to stop himself from putting an arrow through Alonzo’s chest. Instead the mini-explosion does the trick and Felicity is able to get to his side. 

 

The words, ‘he’s dead’, echoes in Oliver’s mind as he him and Felicity head for the Foundry. Felicity has said nothing and he’s thankful for it. As he changes he can hear her crying at her computer. Both of them have hoped Walter would be found alive. Both have been so sure it was just a matter of finding him.

 

The take a moment together to just hold each other in silence. Both of their thoughts are on Walter. There are no words to describe their devastation and Oliver knows he must now tell his mother and sister the news. Felicity is adamant. She will be by his side when he tells them. 

 

In the car Oliver takes her hand and rubs his thumb over the skin there. She links her fingers with his and looks out the window lost in her own thoughts.

 

The news is hard to deliver and he can see the devastation on his family’s faces. His mother is shocked but she stands and looks for her purse. No pleading can stop her. He leaves Felicity comforting his sister as he rushes to follow his mother. 

 

When he hears his mother and Malcolm there is a moment of rage followed by massive devastation. His mother has been in on this from the beginning. They are working together and have something horrible planned for the city. She’s complicit and her name should be in his father’s book. 

* * *

 

“Walter’s alive,” Oliver admits when Felicity finds him at the Foundry. She pauses by the light switch and then moves to stand in front of him.

 

“What? But Alonzo?”

 

“I need you to pull up Malcolm Merlyn’s phone records. He made a call from his office to wherever Walter is being kept at 10:30pm.”

 

“Malcolm Merlyn. Tommy’s father? Why would he kidnap Walter?”

 

“Felicity. He’s involved. The Undertaking. All of it. My mother went to see him and I...overheard.”

 

“Oh Oliver,” Felicity sighs. “Okay. Okay.”

 

She sits down at the computer and within seconds he has his answer. The tenement complex is surrounded by guards which still seems overdone. Walter is one man. How many guards do they need to imprison one man? 

 

Regardless Oliver rushes off, securing a plane and landing on the roof. Felicity is in his ear, monitoring surveillance cameras and leading him straight to Walter. Malcolm’s small army is decimated under Oliver’s unrelenting rage. 

 

The paramedics arrive just as Oliver helps Walter out onto the street. He leaves Walter on the steps of the tenement building and hides in the shadows watching as the responding officer is none other than Detective Lance. There is some questioning before the paramedics practically shove Lance away from the patient, concerned more about physical injuries than catching a kidnapper.

* * *

 

Walter is embraced by his wife and stepdaughter while Oliver hovers at the foot of the bed. His eyes are on his mother, watching her reaction. She seems genuinely happy to see Walter and Oliver cannot help but wonder if Walter was the incentive to keep his mother in line. At the same time all of this has given him a new view towards his mother.

 

“This is totally a family thing, isn’t it?” 

 

Oliver turns to see Felicity holding a plant and looking towards Walter. Walter smiles at her and she sits the plant on the dresser.

 

“Oh Felicity,” Moira says wiping tears. “You should stay.”

 

“Yes, you should,” Oliver says tugging her next to him. Walter looks shocked for a second when Oliver straightens from kissing her.

 

“I see a lot has changed since I...went away,” Walter says watching Felicity.

 

“Oh yes Darling. Felicity is practically one of the family now. Oliver tells me she’s been helping in any way possible to locate you,” Moira says hugging Walter again.

 

“We’ll let you two guys get back to your hugging,” Oliver says. “We’ll go find coffee.”

 

Both him and Felicity are ignored as soon as they leave the room and Oliver smiles when Felicity hugs him tightly.

 

“He’s home,” she says. “You found him.”

 

“We found him,” Oliver replies.

 

“Oh Oliver!” a voice calls and Oliver and Felicity turn. Felicity almost flinches when Oliver’s hand tightens over hers. Malcolm Merlyn is before them and for a second Felicity can appreciate how Malcolm has avoided notice. He blends so well. His face is schooled in absolute concern for Walter. 

 

“Malcolm,” Oliver says, slipping his own mask on. He will play the upset stepson, the man worried for his family and relieved at this turn of events. Felicity is the one lagging.

 

“Is Walter ok? I saw it on the news.”

 

“Walter is fine,” Oliver says. “The police will want to talk to him but Walter does not remember his attackers. He is more concerned with getting his strength up.”

 

“Good, good. I guess I’ll stay and talk to your mother. Congratulate her on her miracle.”

 

“Yes. Do that.”

 

Felicity catches a glimpse of Laurel at the end of the hallway but Laurel ducks away before Felicity can draw Oliver’s attention to her. Felicity overheard much more than she let Oliver know. Maybe with this blow-up Laurel can finally let go of Oliver and move on. Who knows. All she knows is it will be some time before Oliver is ready to forgive.

* * *

 

“I guess you do know where I live,” John says when Oliver shows up at his door.

 

“I’ve always known where you live,” Oliver admits. “I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

 

“About?”

 

“Everything. Deadshot. My mother. The undertaking,” Oliver says heavily. “She lied to me. She lied to Thea. She’s been working with Malcolm Merlyn. Something terrible is going to happen and I don’t know if I’m enough to stop it. Will you help me?”

 

“Yeah,” John says, “Yeah I’ll help.”

 

Oliver smiles at him and the two sit there in silence for a moment. John feels like the weight that has been sitting on him has been lightened and for a second he feels normal again. Things are okay.

 

“About Felicity,” Oliver says causing that weight on John to come back. “We both screwed up there. She’s hiding it mostly. She buries her feelings in her concern for others so it’s hard to spot. I think we’re okay, me and her. It’s...she needs you John.”

 

“She came to see me,” John admits. “She looked like I punched her when I told her I wouldn’t come back. How do I fix it?”

 

“I really, really don’t know,” Oliver says. “It was easier for me because I’m her...boyfriend so it’s different for us but you two...you’re her first real friend here John. I think in some ways your relationship with her has been more important because Felicity was depressed when she admitted she really has never had friends. I told her she had you and I think that made her feel better.”

 

“I just...I don’t know how to fix it.”

 

“Well I would start with maybe her favorite Chinese food and going to grovel...I can be indisposed for a few hours,” Oliver offers. “Maybe go out on the streets to stop a few muggings…”

 

So John does just that. He carries the bags up to Felicity and clutches the red wine Oliver says she’ll love. He doesn’t know the reception he’ll get but he can only hope he can fix it. His knock almost goes unanswered but he finally hears someone shuffling to the door.

 

“Oliver did you lock yourself--oh! John,” she says. She looks to the ground and then finally steels herself and looks up. “Oliver’s not here.”

 

“I came to see you,” John says. “Can I come in?”

 

“Sure, yeah,” Felicity says opening the door and gesturing him inside. John hasn’t been here in awhile. Typically he meets them downstairs, at QC, or at Verdant. He hasn’t really been inside their home since Helena attacked Felicity and at that time it was an absolute mess. It’s homey and that sounds weird but it looks happy. If rooms could talk he knows this one would tell a happy story. His apartment isn’t like that. It’s empty.

 

“I brought you dumplings and red wine…” John says awkwardly.

 

“Thanks but I’m not really hungry,” she says. “I was going to go to bed.”

 

“It’s 7:30,” John replies.

 

“I’m kind of tired,” she says. “Oliver...I don’t know where he is.”

 

“He’s busy. I mean...he’s out for now.”

 

“You two made up?” Felicity asks. “Good. Good for you.”

 

“You’re my best friend Felicity,” John says suddenly moving to stand in front of her. He sits the bag and the wine on the counter and waits for her to look at him. When she does he continues. “I didn’t think about how my not working with Oliver would affect you. We started this together and I’m not used to all aspects of my life being tied up together.”

 

“It’s fine John,” she says sighing.

 

“It’s not. I hurt your feelings and I didn’t mean to do that. You’re really important to me and I don’t want to lose you because I was stupid. Please tell me I can make this right,” he begs. 

 

“You and Oliver are so much alike...”

 

“Will you forgive us both then?” John asks. 

 

“Where did you get the dumplings from?” she asks randomly.

 

“That place in the Glades you really like,” he answers.

 

“Well I guess I could forgive you...but only because I want the dumplings,” she says. He hugs her to him and sighs. She is his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose her. He won’t do this again. He won’t leave her out of the discussion. 

 

When Felicity goes to get plates, he tugs his phone out and replies to Oliver’s text. Everything is fine for now. Hours pass before Oliver finally comes home and smiles at Felicity and Diggle sitting on the floor watching a show featuring athletic challenges. Both are taking drunken bets on people passing the challenges.

 

“My Oliver could do that,” Felicity says smiling up at him dopily. “Come here.”

 

He slips down beside her and watches amused as she snuggles up against him and closes her eyes.  The show goes to commercials and John leans back resting his head on the couch while Oliver stares blankly ahead. Right now everything is okay but tomorrow they need to deal with his mother, Malcolm Merlyn, and the Undertaking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I have been working so hard on this. I had 3500 words that I trashed because they weren't working. Here's the fix. Minor changes from the original? 1. The opening scene was from Felicity's perspective not Oliver's. 2. No sex. 3. The Laurel/Oliver argument was not working at all. I debated the 'forced kiss' heavily but opted for it. This is the point where the relationships start to shift in preparation for season two.
> 
> In my version of the story there is no hope for Laurel/Oliver so Laurel has to realize that. It seems harsh but the door needs to be firmly closed. I know she's a little OOC but Laurel has been (in the show and not) a great character for over-the-top, unbelievable reactions. 
> 
> Next chapter (hopefully either next weekend or early the following one--cries 6 day work week!) will cover all that fun stuff like elevator shaft scenes, redirecting the Laurel/Oliver love scene, etc.
> 
> Fun times ahead!


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